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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love
- Thread starter Advocatus Diaboli
- Start date
LookAtMeGo
Member
I look so good with giant eyes and a big head though. Its like anime me.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Every time a girl only has filters on pics of her face, I just wonder if they know how unattractive it is haha
Yeah same
~uguu
If you need a job and a change of place, I got you. Come to Shanghai.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
If I don't break back into my field by the end of next September, I'll take you up on that offer.
Starting next week, I get to telework from my job, and I'm going to use that time to hustle.
Oh, I know. I've used it too. I'm not sweating it. I'm not actually the least bit upset. Understanding that rejection isn't "you suck as a person" but rather "this isn't a good fit" is the first step in achieving zenlike independence from the shackles of self-inflicted wounds.
Anyway, I've gone on probably hundreds of dates since moving to my city, and I could arrange another quickly enough. That's at once a comforting and sobering thought.
(Although, as I was lying awake in bed last night, unless Aziz has entirely cornered the market, for a few minutes I honestly thinking that I could write a novel about all of this. They say to write about what you know. Sadly, this is what I know. Only it'd perhaps make more sense in a different medium to really convey how technology's integral to these story beats.)
Next September ? I'm hoping to be retired and living on a beach in Thailand with Zackie and his girl by this time next year. 😏
Not to paint with too broad a brush, but French girls* are amazing. I would be on cloud 9 if I kept getting paired up with French girls. And I'm sure their English is just fine - don't let that discourage you.
*(my experience in this is that I spent a year in Paris about a decade ago)
protomouse
Member
So, I'm probably going to look like a moron for asking this but...
say this Tinder girl, who previously suggested a meet-up at a public place, asks if you'd rather hang out at her place instead... what would be your response?
say this Tinder girl, who previously suggested a meet-up at a public place, asks if you'd rather hang out at her place instead... what would be your response?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
First off, thanks, both of you! And youre not bad armchair psychologists, either. I dont fear commitment, but I definitely pursue the wrong people. (I try to make it work. I dont feel the spark.) I do want to settle into, at least into something thats, you know, headed somewhere. I figure thatll work itself out. At some point.
I mean, I oscillate between discount Chris Evans and chubby Chris Pratt. Im good there.
But my parents cant and wont support me. They were absolutely clear about that. I just need to find something else. And I will. The current gig just destroys my sense of purpose. However, I know I was MORE miserable while unemployed. Better to hate the job you have than one you dont, I suppose.
PancakeBurglar
Member
Chances are she wants some dick, if you're horny go for it. Bring protection but also be ready for an escape plan if things go south. Just be smart and have fun. Ask her when she wants to meet up and go from there.
Megalosaro
Banned
Where do you live, Diaboli? I seem to recall you saying New York, but I can't remember. What sort of work are you in?
Come out to LA, man. I'll take you out.
On my front...
My gf's sister is trying to convince the mom to go up to San Jose for a weekend at the end of October, so we can have the apartment. The mom is dragging her shoes though. Is there anything cool up there? They won't really have time to go up to San francisco, since the sister is going there for a seminar.
Come out to LA, man. I'll take you out.
On my front...
My gf's sister is trying to convince the mom to go up to San Jose for a weekend at the end of October, so we can have the apartment. The mom is dragging her shoes though. Is there anything cool up there? They won't really have time to go up to San francisco, since the sister is going there for a seminar.
Belgium.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Come wreak havoc in Canadia
LordKasual
Banned
you're already sex
protomouse
Member
I'm pretty much always horny, but I'm afraid I might fuck up any long-term chances by letting it get to sex on the first encounter. I've never tried, so I'm not sure if it even works that way.
She's said she wants someone to date. I said so as well. That was last week. Could it be a test? Dunno, confused. I think I'll roll with it and judge as we go along.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
What's the cliche?
LordKasual
Banned
every girl that's told me that (and we actually didn't fuck on the first date) ended with us just smashing on the second date instead so that we could successfully say we didn't smash on the first
I don't know either, but i doubt it's going to change very much. Clearly she wants to have sex on the first encounter.
is there something you'd rather be doing that you aren't because of your current gig? cuz thats me
i'd rather be working on my game projects, but instead i'm at a job I have grown to hate, trolling around on GAF with you guys. But I can't fully invest because so much of my time has me enthralled to the cunts I work for. And I can't quit because then i'm broke, like I was before, and thus still unable to fully commit. Which is made worse because i've recently gotten a new car AND moved out and now have bills to maintain.
So occasionally I get that pit in my stomach, where I feel like i've gotten stuck in that Life wall corner combo infinite and now that i'm dependent on it, i'm forced to play ball lest my life implodes on itself and i can't do fucking anything
and I have no ACTUAL time to devote to women either, as my energy is already partitioned, and dating honestly just takes too much energy to waste
#adultingsucks
Someone to date is Tinder speak for I'm not a whore and you need to respect me. Just go over, hang out and see what happens (bring protection just in case)
Honestly sex on the first encounter won't fuck up your long term chances other then that there is a social stigma that someone who is classy/a prefered long term partner won't fuck on the first date.
If you are both happy enough to do it and there is a good connection then nothing wdong with that.
If you ever get around to it... how about a coffee table book?
You can get 100+ page coffee table books that are very asthetically pleasing and have a mix of pictures and text. You could split up your story into maybe 20-30 scattered vignettes of 2 to 5 pages each with 1-2 full page images. It could paint a patchwork narative of modern dating through slice of life stories.
Some dates would be just one chapter, other dates would be reoccuring showing up every few chapters for the next installment.
I'm a little impressed with that as an off the cuff pitch. I'd buy that book
About three months ago, I saw a female coworker at a party I went to. We never really talked at work before this but we were both drunk and with friends and we started talking a bit. Teasing a little, too. I think. I always fancied her a little since she's totally my type but I always thought she was way out of my league. I'm average at best and she's really beautiful.
After that, we would sometimes chat about random stuff but never anything too serious. I figured she just wanted to have a good time and talked to me because she was drunk.
A few weeks ago, she started chatting to me out of the blue. Ended up going to another party with her and two other people. It was a lot of fun. Didn't make a move though.
After that, we started chatting a little more. It's gotten to a point where we are now chatting daily. Sometimes until like 3am. Next week, we are going karting with dinner afterwards. Just the two of us.
She casually mentioned she will try to get me a little drunk so she can get some more info out of me... but
... I still don't know if I should make a move or whatever. She could just be looking to have some fun and I could make work super awkward if I do the wrong thing. On the other hand, I really, really dig her.
It just looks too good. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I feel super different lately. My stomach feels weird. I look forward to conversations with her. When she arrives at work, I feel different....
Why.jpg
After that, we would sometimes chat about random stuff but never anything too serious. I figured she just wanted to have a good time and talked to me because she was drunk.
A few weeks ago, she started chatting to me out of the blue. Ended up going to another party with her and two other people. It was a lot of fun. Didn't make a move though.
After that, we started chatting a little more. It's gotten to a point where we are now chatting daily. Sometimes until like 3am. Next week, we are going karting with dinner afterwards. Just the two of us.
She casually mentioned she will try to get me a little drunk so she can get some more info out of me... but
... I still don't know if I should make a move or whatever. She could just be looking to have some fun and I could make work super awkward if I do the wrong thing. On the other hand, I really, really dig her.
It just looks too good. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I feel super different lately. My stomach feels weird. I look forward to conversations with her. When she arrives at work, I feel different....
Why.jpg
True Savior
Member
Dawg come on.
Why are you on tinder and why nationality matters?
if she's real, yes.
Why are you on tinder and why nationality matters?
if she's real, yes.
True Savior
Member
Tinder is easy to figure out. Look good and you get a good response rate. Don't "hey" people if you are not a super-model (or way hotter than the match). Don't be creepy or over-complicated. Pay attention to details in their profiles. It's really not that different than a normal interaction (outside of the hey's) only easier cause you have so much more time to think.
Messofanego
Banned
Yo Dawg, don't lie to yourself, you're handsome!
Unless if you're a spy, trying to get more info out of you seems like she's into you. There are some coy questions you can ask to find out if she likes you in that way. If you hear a confirmation that she sees you more than a friend, make your move. Not when you're super drunk, preferably.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
He lives in DC, or at least he did last time I asked for advice about moving to DC
What are you looking for Diaboli? My area is faaaaar from glamorous but I can let you know if something opens up for it around here.
Yep, I'm still in DC.
I honestly have no idea what I'm looking for, which I realize doesn't help at all, but if you put a gun to my head and asked me what my dream job was, I couldn't tell you. I have some general ideas, but unlike dating, I have low expectations: I just want to work somewhere that has a mission I respect.
is there something you'd rather be doing that you aren't because of your current gig? cuz thats me
i'd rather be working on my game projects, but instead i'm at a job I have grown to hate, trolling around on GAF with you guys. But I can't fully invest because so much of my time has me enthralled to the cunts I work for. And I can't quit because then i'm broke, like I was before, and thus still unable to fully commit. Which is made worse because i've recently gotten a new car AND moved out and now have bills to maintain.
So occasionally I get that pit in my stomach, where I feel like i've gotten stuck in that Life wall corner combo infinite and now that i'm dependent on it, i'm forced to play ball lest my life implodes on itself and i can't do fucking anything
and I have no ACTUAL time to devote to women either, as my energy is already partitioned, and dating honestly just takes too much energy to waste
#adultingsucks
Yep, this is basically it entirely. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing. I define myself by my job too much. I really do need more hobbies, but honestly, I'm so mentally and emotionally drained after work that the things I used to enjoy before, I just don't. I maintain some semblance of a social life. I guess dating is a hobby. I say I enjoy other things, like EDM, but I could probably cut that out of my life without really caring.
But yeah, I get it: I feel like I'm completely stuck, especially because I'm in a niche area that's not really transferrable elsewhere, and the thought of doing what I'm doing (even in a different place than I am currently) just makes me want to jump off a cliff. But I don't have any better ideas.
What's stopping me from quitting and traveling the world for a few months is that I'd come back and be completely lost and worse off than I am now.
When I find another job and push the start date out, I will definitely do that.
But where does Mama Birding fit into this? That could be the cover art!
Nationality doesn't bother me , but hooking up with a person you cannot understand could be problematic
and now Bacon has me Curious too :
What is the Cliche about French Girls ?
Have you guys ever been in a position where, you're so busy with life, new changes are happening, and you feel like communication with your partner just kinda takes a nose dive? I just got a new job and graduated college, he's still in college, priorities are kinda different than they were before. Almost 5 year relationship.
I think I can come to terms with moving on since I'm so busy and we're long distance, just wondering if anyone maybe had a transitionary period with their partners in which you both agreed "Well, we're both too busy for this, lets take a pause" because, we've talked maybe 2 hours a week at most for the past month. It's a strange feeling.
Edit: I realize that most of these dating age threads are mostly people in the process of starting to date a new person, so I hope that asking advice for a current relationship isn't a problem? Just seeking some input, don't really have much else to reference :/
I think I can come to terms with moving on since I'm so busy and we're long distance, just wondering if anyone maybe had a transitionary period with their partners in which you both agreed "Well, we're both too busy for this, lets take a pause" because, we've talked maybe 2 hours a week at most for the past month. It's a strange feeling.
Edit: I realize that most of these dating age threads are mostly people in the process of starting to date a new person, so I hope that asking advice for a current relationship isn't a problem? Just seeking some input, don't really have much else to reference :/
If the relationship is worth maintaining, you still gotta work at it even if it does feel like work. It's like exercising or brushing your teeth; there's no real end goal, just maintaining healthy body/teeth. Sometimes it's not glamorous or fun or sexy, but you gotta keep at it, be it communication, spending time or even scheduling physical intimacy if you have to. Otherwise, it'll wither and die, just like your teeth would if you were too busy to brush them.
Megalosaro
Banned
Fair enough, I suppose that's the next question to ask. It's unfortunate, because he's been such a large part of my life for the past several years, but lately it's felt like we're in pretty different worlds, it happened so quickly.
MrMatt555
Member
I can't believe it.
Just got an aggressive hate-filled wall of text from an unknown number which ended up being from an ex whom I haven't talked to in over 3 months now..
Lots of name calling and childish insults but the one that struck me as discomforting was her insulting not only my religion, but my own mother going so far as to call her a bitch and "pathedic" (her spelling error; not mine).
I am so upset. It doesn't help that we just celebrated my mother's birthday just last night. I thought I was done with all of this. It's clear someone from the inside (people I still work with) are feeding her twisted, self-fabricated info to stir shit up still between us -- she wrongfully accused me of starting rumors about her and spreading shit talk to make her look bad (which is all bullshit).
What do I do GAF? I already blocked the number and I know that she is lost and is purposely trying to bait me but I have never met someone like this before in my life..
NEVER DATE SOMEONE AT WORK
Just got an aggressive hate-filled wall of text from an unknown number which ended up being from an ex whom I haven't talked to in over 3 months now..
Lots of name calling and childish insults but the one that struck me as discomforting was her insulting not only my religion, but my own mother going so far as to call her a bitch and "pathedic" (her spelling error; not mine).
I am so upset. It doesn't help that we just celebrated my mother's birthday just last night. I thought I was done with all of this. It's clear someone from the inside (people I still work with) are feeding her twisted, self-fabricated info to stir shit up still between us -- she wrongfully accused me of starting rumors about her and spreading shit talk to make her look bad (which is all bullshit).
What do I do GAF? I already blocked the number and I know that she is lost and is purposely trying to bait me but I have never met someone like this before in my life..
NEVER DATE SOMEONE AT WORK
BuddyTheBestPuppy
Member
do guys in IT ever find girl friends? I am overwhelmed by work, plus things I have to learn outside work. I attended a hackathon last weekend, work 8 to 5 from Mon to Fri and now I have to spend two days in the library going through a lot of stuff.
I like IT but eh, by the time I come home I am dead...no energy for anything. Even taking the dog out for a walk is a chore.
Anyone else in IT? How do you guys manage work + life
I like IT but eh, by the time I come home I am dead...no energy for anything. Even taking the dog out for a walk is a chore.
Anyone else in IT? How do you guys manage work + life
Jzero
Member
By quitting the field and doing something easier that doesn't pay as well.do guys in IT ever find girl friends? I am overwhelmed by work, plus things I have to learn outside work. I attended a hackathon last weekend, work 8 to 5 from Mon to Fri and now I have to spend two days in the library going through a lot of stuff.
I like IT but eh, by the time I come home I am dead...no energy for anything. Even taking the dog out for a walk is a chore.
How do you guys manage work + life
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
do guys in IT ever find girl friends? I am overwhelmed by work, plus things I have to learn outside work. I attended a hackathon last weekend, work 8 to 5 from Mon to Fri and now I have to spend two days in the library going through a lot of stuff.
I like IT but eh, by the time I come home I am dead...no energy for anything. Even taking the dog out for a walk is a chore.
Anyone else in IT? How do you guys manage work + life
Ask a doctor, lawyer, firefighter, single parent, caretaker of elderly relatives, Ph.D./med/law student...
The fact that you voluntarily chose to attend an event on a weekend (presumably you had evenings free) and only work 8-5 is, I don't know, a sign that you can do this.
(Also, I feel fantastic tonight -- ended up commiserating with friends and I feel rejuvenated. Now I'm actually looking forward to going out tomorrow.)
SoldierOfLight
Member
Best advice right here.
It became a chore that I got comfortable in my previous marriage and I missed all the signs because of it.
In the movie crazy stupid love he says lost sight as a husband, lover and friend. Something I lost sight of as well. Won't make that mistake again
Date tonight...wasn't bad, good chemistry, good laughs, but based on the kiss and the texting afterwards, there won't be a second one. Whenever I ask someone out and get a "Next week will be crazy with blah-de-blah-de-blah", and no counter of another day, I assume disinterest. I try to do post-mortems, this one is less conclusive than most. Maybe she thought I came on too strong with the kiss? I dunno.
I've been texting this other girl a lot - way more than I'd suggest anyone here text someone. I'm more invested than I have any right to be. We meet on Saturday.
I've been texting this other girl a lot - way more than I'd suggest anyone here text someone. I'm more invested than I have any right to be. We meet on Saturday.
Jzero
Member
What makes you think the kiss was bad?
She received it very conservatively. Peoples, feel free to critique this - whenever I kiss a girl for the first time, I try for something a little more than just a peck. Usually a few small kisses before a little tongue. My tongue was met with teeth, and only teeth.
By itself, I'd chalk it up to "caught her off guard" or "she's naturally conservative", factor in the lukewarm texting responses, feels like I went to far for her and/or misread the chemistry entirely. (I don't think it's the latter...after dinner, she offered to buy me a drink elsewhere)
I mean
I'm cute as fuck, but when I ain't got nothin to start from, then i dunno where to start sometimes
artsi
Member
do guys in IT ever find girl friends? I am overwhelmed by work, plus things I have to learn outside work. I attended a hackathon last weekend, work 8 to 5 from Mon to Fri and now I have to spend two days in the library going through a lot of stuff.
I like IT but eh, by the time I come home I am dead...no energy for anything. Even taking the dog out for a walk is a chore.
Anyone else in IT? How do you guys manage work + life
I work in IT and I've had a girlfriend most of my adult life, it's nothing special really.
Seems like you got a normal day job, I don't see the problem in that.
It's your choice how you spend your free time, so assuming you actually want a girlfriend then you just need to go on dates instead of hackathons and libraries.
If you don't have energy you should eat better, hit the gym, sleep more, etc.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I haven't heard from the exonerated condom thief since she left a few nights ago. Maybe she is waiting for me to text her to show interest? Well two can play at this game!
electricshake
Member
Or don't play games and just text her if you want to see her again?