RagnarokIV
Member
Alright lads I really don't like those fucken souls games, and even more that all the shitty cheap indie knockoffs are always popping up on Steam. Pisses me right off. If indie devs started doing their own thing instead of wish.com'ing Dark Souls, games would jump in quality a lot. Fuck that stupid bullshit.
And don't fucken come in here mouthing off you melt. Read on, yeah?
A couple of the geezers on this forum told me Elden Ring is good, and someone said it's different to the other Fromsoftware games, so I put it on my backlog and forgot about it.
Then this happened - https://www.neogaf.com/threads/yeah-no-its-fucking-hard.1662020/ Randy Orton talking about Elden Ring.
I've been burned out and miserable on games in general lately and for 25 readies in the sale, it's worth a shot.
Game downloaded, I boot it up. Max out all the settings + ray tracing...
Instantly: Oh for fuck sake, it's a fucken souls reskin
First off, shut the fuck up. I guarantee anyone about to start mouthing off is like this fucken melt:
So, I bang out the tutorial area and piss about and instantly I'm hooked.
Sneaking and stealth kills? Nice.
I was wandering around a field and saw some dopey kunt carrying a trumpet - right he's getting fucken knifed for being a twat. Then I do his mates in and have a picnick at a campfire but then - hello hello!
Alright love? Anime babe with wavy pink hair turns up. Missing an eye but her smooth voice makes up for that. Proper nice girl. She wants to hold my hand Beatles style or something, I haven't got a clue about the story.
She chats a few times at different picnicks - I'm having a great time!
The game itself is amazing. It's like Breath Of The Wild - no shitty cutscenes or stupid nonsense - you get a direction and go explore. It's not even a hard game. You make your own memories and story.
Have a bubble at this - I was wandering around and some tree started talking, I give it a slap and it turned into a cool rat person. Having a good chat and I killed the nearby enemies so he'd be safe. Poor boy has had a rough time at home and all he needs is a mate.
Later I wandered into a cave and some nasty kunts had roughed him up!
I'm not having this, he was my mate.
I put down a message "time for revenge!" or something. I get some praise and head in to murder every last nasty kunt who picked on my lovable rat mate. Fucken pissed me right off.
I can summon some wolves or a jellyfish to fuck these kunts up too. But I didn't. This was personal.
Where was I? Oh yeah.
I got to the castle and the boss is giving it large, fifty arms poppin out of his arse and all this shit. I give him a slap then he decides to weld a fucken dragon to his arm and does me in! For fuck sake, two can play at that you bender. I summon 2 mates in to help me out and we fuck him right up!
Not quoting Shakepseare now, are you? You fucken mug!
I was cringing like fuck at the opening with some old twat giving it the "Double, double toil and trouble" nonsense. Then he popped a viagra and started going "ooooh!" Fuck sake man, had to jump to lower the volume. What the fuck was that?!
But, 8.6 hours on Steam in 2 sittings, I think I'm addicted.
And don't fucken come in here mouthing off you melt. Read on, yeah?
A couple of the geezers on this forum told me Elden Ring is good, and someone said it's different to the other Fromsoftware games, so I put it on my backlog and forgot about it.
Then this happened - https://www.neogaf.com/threads/yeah-no-its-fucking-hard.1662020/ Randy Orton talking about Elden Ring.
I've been burned out and miserable on games in general lately and for 25 readies in the sale, it's worth a shot.
Game downloaded, I boot it up. Max out all the settings + ray tracing...
Instantly: Oh for fuck sake, it's a fucken souls reskin
First off, shut the fuck up. I guarantee anyone about to start mouthing off is like this fucken melt:
So, I bang out the tutorial area and piss about and instantly I'm hooked.
Sneaking and stealth kills? Nice.
I was wandering around a field and saw some dopey kunt carrying a trumpet - right he's getting fucken knifed for being a twat. Then I do his mates in and have a picnick at a campfire but then - hello hello!
Alright love? Anime babe with wavy pink hair turns up. Missing an eye but her smooth voice makes up for that. Proper nice girl. She wants to hold my hand Beatles style or something, I haven't got a clue about the story.
She chats a few times at different picnicks - I'm having a great time!
The game itself is amazing. It's like Breath Of The Wild - no shitty cutscenes or stupid nonsense - you get a direction and go explore. It's not even a hard game. You make your own memories and story.
Have a bubble at this - I was wandering around and some tree started talking, I give it a slap and it turned into a cool rat person. Having a good chat and I killed the nearby enemies so he'd be safe. Poor boy has had a rough time at home and all he needs is a mate.
Later I wandered into a cave and some nasty kunts had roughed him up!
I'm not having this, he was my mate.
I put down a message "time for revenge!" or something. I get some praise and head in to murder every last nasty kunt who picked on my lovable rat mate. Fucken pissed me right off.
I can summon some wolves or a jellyfish to fuck these kunts up too. But I didn't. This was personal.
Where was I? Oh yeah.
I got to the castle and the boss is giving it large, fifty arms poppin out of his arse and all this shit. I give him a slap then he decides to weld a fucken dragon to his arm and does me in! For fuck sake, two can play at that you bender. I summon 2 mates in to help me out and we fuck him right up!
Not quoting Shakepseare now, are you? You fucken mug!
I was cringing like fuck at the opening with some old twat giving it the "Double, double toil and trouble" nonsense. Then he popped a viagra and started going "ooooh!" Fuck sake man, had to jump to lower the volume. What the fuck was that?!
But, 8.6 hours on Steam in 2 sittings, I think I'm addicted.
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