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I came blood.

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C

Costanza

Banned
JSnake said:
Alright, so time for explaining. Doctor calls up, tells me to jizz in a cup AND pee in a cup and drop them both over to him. He wanted to examine them both so he can make a better diagnosis. Jizzing in a cup doesn't really let my mom know I j/o on a regular basis. After all, the doctor tells me to, so it's OK.

He calls up after testing and tells me I have "perfectly clean semen", but "PERFECT CUM" sounded funnier so there you go. He says the same thing for the piss.
Click to expand...
Was there blood in it the second time?
 
D

DaCocoBrova

Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
I think you're lying. No doctor/lab works that fast buddy...

You're going to HELL!
 
Cauliflower of Love

Cauliflower of Love

Banned
JSnake said:
Alright, so time for explaining. Doctor calls up, tells me to jizz in a cup AND pee in a cup and drop them both over to him. He wanted to examine them both so he can make a better diagnosis. Jizzing in a cup doesn't really let my mom know I j/o on a regular basis. After all, the doctor tells me to, so it's OK.

He calls up after testing and tells me I have "perfectly clean semen", but "PERFECT CUM" sounded funnier so there you go. He says the same thing for the piss.
Click to expand...


You should mixed them together in one cup.
 
L

lil smoke

Banned
What kind of cup was it? You just walked into the office for an instant appointment with 2 cups, 1 piss and 1 cum? What did you tell the receptionist?

Have a talk with your parents. Seriously. Something aint right with you.
 
B

BobFromPikeCreek

Member
JSnake said:
My mom probably has it.
Click to expand...
Scan or ban!
Costanza said:
Was that car ride with your mom to the doctor where you were holding a cup of your own jizz awkward?
Click to expand...
:lol :lol :lol By the way, this confirms that the word of the doctor is more important to your mother than the word of Jesus Christ our lord and Saviour.
 
C

Costanza

Banned
JSnake said:
I didn't ride with her. She took them herself.
Click to expand...
Ok well... was coming out of your room immediately after performing a doctor ordered j/o and handing a cup of jizz to your mom so she could put it in the cupholder while she drove (what if she accidentally drank it!?!?!?!) to the doctor awkward?
 
J

JSnake

Member
Costanza said:
Ok well... was coming out of your room immediately after performing a doctor ordered j/o and handing a cup of jizz to your mom so she could put it in the cupholder while she drove (what if she accidentally drank it!?!?!?!) awkward?
Click to expand...

Yes.
 
D

DaCocoBrova

Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
I wasn't a good liar @ 15 either. I gave up at 24 and haven't (really) lied since.

Your Mom didn't have a bunch of questions re: your 1st orgasm?

I know my Mom would've been all... "So! What was it like?"
 
ibu

ibu

Member
joelseph said:
Its Chlamydia. When you go to the doctor prepare to have an over-sized cotton swab inserted into your penis. It doesn't hurt so much going in, but coming out is a different story.
Click to expand...

Its like havin an umbrella opened up inside you but this umbrella is made of out steel and then they pull it out... still open.

p.s. glad its nothin serious.... perfect cum eh... you should jar it and sell it!
 
D

DaCocoBrova

Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
ibu said:
Its like havin an umbrella opened up inside you but this umbrella is made of out steel and then they pull it out... still open.

p.s. glad its nothin serious.... perfect cum eh... you should jar it and sell it!
Click to expand...


I never had the Clap, but the (female...take notes!) doctor did the test as a precaution.


I almost hit a woman that day...
 
D

deadbeef

Member
DaCocoBrova said:
I wasn't a good liar @ 15 either. I gave up at 24 and haven't (really) lied since.

Your Mom didn't have a bunch of questions re: your 1st orgasm?

I know my Mom would've been all... "So! What was it like?"
Click to expand...


That seems weird to me
 
B

BobFromPikeCreek

Member
DaCocoBrova said:
I wasn't a good liar @ 15 either. I gave up at 24 and haven't (really) lied since.

Your Mom didn't have a bunch of questions re: your 1st orgasm?

I know my Mom would've been all... "So! What was it like?"
Click to expand...
... Congratulations. This is weirder than anything else posted in this thread. If my mom asked me how my orgasm was I'd put a shotgun in my mouth.
 
V

vas_a_morir

Banned
BobFromPikeCreek said:
Scan or ban!
Click to expand...

This. I like how you tried to fish for a tag. You had some good bait. "Perfect Cum" or whatever. But, the fish ain't biting, son.

EDIT: And I see you already have a tag. God dammit why do I fail so hard?
 
S

superbank

The definition of front-butt.
JSnake said:
No sores. Everything looks normal.

Also going to the doctor would mean letting my parents know I j/o.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol

They already know. They've probably seen you do it and you weren't aware.
 
D

DaCocoBrova

Finally bought a new PSP, but then pushed the demon onto someone else. Jesus.
That did sound kind of strange... I'm old now, but at 15 I'd prolly try to jump out of the car if she asked me that.

Seriously, your Mom didn't question how you managed to fill up the 'cum cup'?
 
J

JSnake

Member
DaCocoBrova said:
That did sound kind of strange... I'm old now, but at 15 I'd prolly try to jump out of the car if she asked me that.

Seriously, your Mom didn't question how you managed to fill up the 'cum cup'?
Click to expand...

No... She wouldn't ask something like that. Also I didn't fill it up.
 
D

Dante

Member
Wes said:
You felt a need to masturbate after falling down?
Click to expand...

LOL this thread exploded. Nah it was the next day. It only happened once. I asked the doctor he said their might have been some prostate trauma from the fall. I fell from about 10 feet up on my back and ass.
 
V

vas_a_morir

Banned
I'll quote my cousin on this: ( a quote I actually told my mom a few days ago)

"I'd rather be caught shooting heroin than jacking off."
 
G

Gaborn

Member
JSnake said:
Nope.
Click to expand...

Is it possible you're more concerned that they find out that you masturbate than they are about you masturbating? I think you're exaggerating their aversion to you doing it.
 
B

BigGreenMat

Member
Blood in the semen isn't at all uncommon. As a precaution you should get checked for UTI's. Nowadays that doesn't even require a swab. All they need is a urine sample.
 
M

{Mike}

Banned
Actually I'm a doctor and spewing cum out of your penis isn't that unusual. It may just mean you're different, and girls like that.
 
T

travisbickle

Member
DaCocoBrova said:
I never had the Clap, but the (female...take notes!) doctor did the test as a precaution.


I almost hit a woman that day...
Click to expand...


I couldn't stop laughing. She was attractive, all I was thinking was don't get an erection. She fiddles about with my balls, says this might sting a bit and sticks a needle or something up my cock!! It was like woah!! Sat up like the coming out of a coma bits on Trainspotting/Pulp Fiction, and then I just started laughing.
 
ScientificNinja

ScientificNinja

Member
DaCocoBrova said:
I wasn't a good liar @ 15 either. I gave up at 24 and haven't (really) lied since.

Your Mom didn't have a bunch of questions re: your 1st orgasm?

I know my Mom would've been all... "So! What was it like?"
Click to expand...


My god... you've just rekindled a memory in me that's been buried deep and hidden away for many years...

I wasn't exactly asked the same question, but my response was basically "WTFNOOOO!!!", running back to my room and slamming it shut.
 
G

Gaborn

Member
travisbickle said:
I couldn't stop laughing. She was attractive, all I was thinking was don't get an erection. She fiddles about with my balls, says this might sting a bit and sticks a needle or something up my cock!! It was like woah!! Sat up like the coming out of a coma bits on Trainspotting/Pulp Fiction, and then I just started laughing.
Click to expand...

When a doctor says this they mean "you poor bastard, you're about to hurt like a bitch"
 
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