i don't know if it's a bannable offense to mention here that i've been drunk and driven a car before. if so, sorry. i know i'm the scum of the earth and i deserve to die. but i'm taking you with me. i'm driving down the wrong side of a highway seventy miles an hour and i'm going to kill you and all your kids ---
wait, what. i got pulled over by the MT highway patrol once, drunk as hell, i stood on one foot and counted backwards from twenty, i kicked ass. the cop told me i was drunk. i was like "this is my first time drinking, i only had one beer" and he was like "i don't know about that". and then he let me go. he said he would follow me home. he turned off after a block or so. and this in the state with one of the highest "drunk driving murders commited by stupid young drunks on highways" rates in the country. what up with that!