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Is Anyone Actually Single?

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It's a way to take a picture that disguises your fat body. If you then go out on a date with this girl, you then see her fat body and have to choose between walking away before she notices, or spending a couple of hours talking to someone you're not interested in at all.

Because I have a conscience, I end up dating them, and then explaining after that we weren't a good fit. Just fucks me off because I only have so much free time, I don't want to spend it with someone I have zero attraction to.

What? I don't know you personally, so maybe I'm missing something here. Dating someone you're not attracted to isn't what I'd call having a conscience. It's more like leading someone on because you're too spineless to communicate that you're not interested.

You know you can still be nice on a date without setting up future dates if you're not feeling it like that. You don't have to date them beyond that first meeting where you met them because they misrepresented their image.
 

RDreamer

Member
This is why I hate the "man pays on dates". It gives one party the power dynamic and it has always always made me bloody uncomfortable.

Went a saw a movie together? You bought me a drink? A burger? Fucking wonderful. But I'll pay for my own share if it means I don't have to listen to what I "owe".

Is the "man pays on dates" thing really still a thing? I can't think of a single date I've had in my life where that seemed like it was expected. Every girl I've ever went on a date with paid for her own shit and I paid for mine and we were both happy with that.

Well, me and the girl who's now my fiancé came to a bit of an understanding for our dates earlier in the process, that whoever drove to the other's place would not have to pay for things. That's because the driving was like 2 hours, so that person was already paying a lot in time and gas. So the other one picked up any bills past that.
 

Greddleok

Member
What? I don't know you personally, so maybe I'm missing something here. Dating someone you're not attracted to isn't what I'd call having a conscience. It's more like leading someone on because you're too spineless to communicate that you're not interested.

You know you can still be nice on a date without setting up future dates if you're not feeling it like that. You don't have to date them beyond that first meeting where you met them because they misrepresented their image.

I explained that to someone else, so I guess it's not clear. What I meant by "end up dating them" is that I didn't walk away, I went through with the single date, then made it clear we weren't a fit.
 
Dating is expensive as FUCK. My savings is pretty much depleted from it. Though last night, she paid for the dinner, which was around $35 tighter, but I ended up paying for drinks after hopping to two bars.
 

Assanova

Member
Dating is expensive as FUCK. My savings is pretty much depleted from it. Though last night, she paid for the dinner, which was around $35 tighter, but I ended up paying for drinks after hopping to two bars.

I was actually just thinking about this. If I start dating again, I am going to be highly selective about who I go out with. Going out on a lot of dates starts to add-up. No more going out with girls that I only feel so-so about.
 

velociraptor

Junior Member
I would never ever date a fat chick. In fact, unless the girl is slim, I won't be attracted to her at all. I myself gym 4x a week so I would expect the girl to also keep in shape.

I don't like how society panders to the weak. Fat acceptance is a damn shame.
 

Principate

Saint Titanfall
Unfortunately yes.

I once dated a guy that refused to let me pay. Like, he would literally refuse to let me pay. I tried doing the "going to the bathroom and giving them my card," "showing up early and giving my card," and straight up asking the wait staff to let me pay. No dice.

EVEN NOW, when we don't even date, he STILL refuses to let me pay. Something about how a guy should pay for a girl.

Joke is on him though. I have his home address thanks to out last dinner (we met up at his place), and he's getting a very expensive gift.

Wow I bet he'll be horrified when he receives it.
 
Assanova said:
Power dynamics? What the hell are you talking about? No one "owes" me anything and I never, ever, imply that when I am with a woman. Expecting someone to be honest about who they are and what they look like is not unusual in the slightest bit, regardless of who pays.
You literally said "If I am going to be spending $40-$60 on a date, then I want to know what you really look like." I quoted you and bolded it.

What you literally said is the equivalent of "I am spending money, so this person owes me an honest photo of themselves." Implying the very fact that you are paying gives you power over that person. Thankfully, you're not as bad as some guys who imply that them paying on a date owes them being handsy or more. But you better believe those guys exist.

Look, dating is complicated enough, but it just adds a layer of complication to it when you add in the anonymity of the internet. You want to know what someone really looks like it? Keep your dating exclusively to meatspace. Meet people in bars, shops, arcades, work, school, etc. You want to branch out and try finding someone online? Then you're just going to have to deal with the fact that many people lie about their images in the same way advertising lies to make their products seem better. Did you agree to date this person based purely on their looks and now you feel cheated? Well tough, try meeting someone you connect with on something other than looks. And if you're just looking to bang out cheap ones with someone good looking, again. Meet them in fucking person.

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Principate

Saint Titanfall
What are you guys' thoughts on people that are on dating sites just to "meet friends and have conversations (aka be hit on relentlessly)"?

It's bullshit and obviously doesn't even need to be stated to be bullshit. They like the idea of being hit on (ego boost) but don't want to actually go on a date with anyone, or in many cases they do but this a smoke screen to be less overtly hit on which never works.

But seriously if you guys hate the shock of meeting someone that's overweight when they portayed they weren't so much why don't you engage in a video chat before a meet. If they say no then there's a chance their hiding something and so you saved yourself the bother.

I can never see the productiveness of moaning about people taking flattering pictures of themselves. Ok they misrepresented, and you couldn't be bothered verifying before a meet. How about you just put in better filters next time problem solved.
 

Assanova

Member
You literally said "If I am going to be spending $40-$60 on a date, then I want to know what you really look like." I quoted you and bolded it.

What you literally said is the equivalent of "I am spending money, so this person owes me an honest photo of themselves." Implying the very fact that you are paying gives you power over that person. Thankfully, you're not as bad as some guys who imply that them paying on a date owes them being handsy or more. But you better believe those guys exist.

Look, dating is complicated enough, but it just adds a layer of complication to it when you add in the anonymity of the internet. You want to know what someone really looks like it? Keep your dating exclusively to meatspace. Meet people in bars, shops, arcades, work, school, etc. You want to branch out and try finding someone online? Then you're just going to have to deal with the fact that many people lie about their images in the same way advertising lies to make their products seem better. Did you agree to date this person based purely on their looks and now you feel cheated? Well tough, try meeting someone you connect with on something other than looks. And if you're just looking to bang out cheap ones with someone good looking, again. Meet them in fucking person.

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This entire quote is absolutely ridiculous. What you are saying is the equivalent of "he met me online, so I can lie as much as I want, and he has to be okay with it. tee hee.". Regardless of if I am spending money on me, her, or no money at all, if I am meeting you based on an honest profile, then yes, you better believe that I expect you to be the person that you led me to believe you are.
 
What are you guys' thoughts on people that are on dating sites just to "meet friends and have conversations (aka be hit on relentlessly)"?

Nothing wrong with it as long as the profile is appropriately labeled. Anyone savvy enough with the platform should be able to filter out profiles flagged as just looking for friends.

I do take issue with people being deceptive about it, but it's hard to sort out intentions sometimes. I have a few friends who come across as extremely flirtatious and are mostly unaware of this, so they accidentally lead guys on all the time. Plus, there are a lot of things about dating that feel extra sketchy online, where you're free to as judicious as you like, so just because someone pulls out doesn't mean they were never into it to begin with.
 
This entire quote is absolutely ridiculous. What you are saying is the equivalent of "he met me online, so I can lie as much as I want, and he has to be okay with it. tee hee.". Regardless of if I am spending money on me, her, or no money at all, if I am meeting you based on an honest profile, then yes, you better believe that I expect you to be the person that you led me to believe you are.

Now you're just delving into sexist territory. I specifically didn't use gender in any of my post. If you think women are the only ones that lie about their looks online then you are completely misinformed.

I also never said you had to be ok with someone misrepresenting themselves. I'm saying it fucking happens, and if you want to whine about it then stick to meeting people in person.
 
Guys do that "misleading pics" shit too.

I have a friend who uses pictures of himself when he was in shape and had a lot more hair. In reality he's a lot heavier now and has a lot less hair lol.

Dude also lists his height as 5'10" when really he's about 5'8", although he insists he's 5'9".
 

Assanova

Member
Now you're just delving into sexist territory. I specifically didn't use gender in any of my post. If you think women are the only ones that lie about their looks online then you are completely misinformed.

I also never said you had to be ok with someone misrepresenting themselves. I'm saying it fucking happens, and if you want to whine about it then stick to meeting people in person.

And if you read the entire thread, then you would have seen that I said that men absolutely do it too. There is nothing sexist about what I wrote, as I am speaking from my frame of reference, and I am not a woman.

And not everyone has the schedule to meet people in person. Most of us above 30 date online because there are not a lot of options in real life, especially if you are not in one of the major coastal cities. Where I live, most of the people that you would meet in real life are in relationships or have kids by the time they are 25. Most everyone else is too busy with work.

Asking for people to tell the truth, man or woman, online or off, is not whining. I am currently not dating online and have been seeing a woman that has been 100% honest with me, so I have absolutely no reason to whine.
 

Principate

Saint Titanfall
Guys do that "misleading pics" shit too.

I have a friend who uses pictures of himself when he was in shape and had a lot more hair. In reality he's a lot heavier now and has a lot less hair lol.

Dude also lists his height as 5'10" when really he's about 5'8", although he insists he's 5'9".

I'd hazard a guess guys do it far more than women do, due to the simple nature that there's far, far more men on these websites than women and thus to stand out from the pack (as when given options people tend to be more picky) put themselves in the best possible light or straight up lie.
 

Two Words

Member
You literally said "If I am going to be spending $40-$60 on a date, then I want to know what you really look like." I quoted you and bolded it.

What you literally said is the equivalent of "I am spending money, so this person owes me an honest photo of themselves." Implying the very fact that you are paying gives you power over that person. Thankfully, you're not as bad as some guys who imply that them paying on a date owes them being handsy or more. But you better believe those guys exist.

Look, dating is complicated enough, but it just adds a layer of complication to it when you add in the anonymity of the internet. You want to know what someone really looks like it? Keep your dating exclusively to meatspace. Meet people in bars, shops, arcades, work, school, etc. You want to branch out and try finding someone online? Then you're just going to have to deal with the fact that many people lie about their images in the same way advertising lies to make their products seem better. Did you agree to date this person based purely on their looks and now you feel cheated? Well tough, try meeting someone you connect with on something other than looks. And if you're just looking to bang out cheap ones with someone good looking, again. Meet them in fucking person.

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You're basically saying that it is okay to lie about your appearance online because people do it so much. Nothing is wrong with him calling it out. Saying "meet people in person" doesn't make it wrong to lie about your appearance.

And yes, it isn't a binary thing. There is a gradiance to it. Everybody tries to put on their best appearance, but there are lines that can be crossed. it is a lot like a resume. Nothing is wrong with trying to put your best impression in your resume by highlighting your best qualities and trying to use key words that stand out more. But it would be unethical to put things on your resume that are lies or imply things that are not true about you. Same thing with online photos when the intent is to date somebody. Appearance matters to people and it doesn't have to be the only reason somebody is choosing to date somebody for it to matter to them.
 

Piers

Member
Personally if you're on a dating site, aka on a site to meet strangers irl to have a date with and possibly start a relationship with, you need pictures of yourself that show you how you look at your best and what you look like normally. These angled and crop images don't do you favors sorry. Because even if you think that you look your best at that angle all people like me will be thinking of is "what is she telling me that she only takes pictures this close up or at this angle?"

If I go out to meet you and you ended up being obese because you took an angled picture as your dating profile picture and never said in your profile under body type that you are overweight, then you lied to me plain and simple. I won't hold a grudge against you but I will be disappointed.


Im not gonna be looking at you from the favorable angle 24/7 so take multiple pictures of yourself.

Unfortunately taking an honest picture is going to result in zero percent chances of dates regardless, to boil it down.
 
All you people complaining about how disappointed you'd be by your date not being physically attractive must be shining examples yourselves.
 
All you people complaining about how disappointed you'd be by your date not being physically attractive must be shining examples yourselves.

That's not the complaint.

The disappointment is when there exists a drastic difference for the worse between the online appearance and the IRL appearance.
 
All you people complaining about how disappointed you'd be by your date not being physically attractive must be shining examples yourselves.

Unless both parties believe the other has only displayed deceptive photos, it's not hard to follow the logic.

Party A has photos they consider to be honest and representative, even if that truth is somewhat ugly. Party B has accepted to go on a date with Party A despite any apparent flaws in Party A's visage. Party A considers themselves to be attractive enough for Party B. That trust should be reciprocated, and you shouldn't found a relationship on lies.
 

rjinaz

Member
I'm with you OP. Doesn't seem like there are many single women in their early 30s. When I tell women I'm 32 and never been married and have no kids, they think that I'm some kind of freak.
 
Perhaps I just have that vastly of a different experience than most people. I haven't ever dated online and my Facebook pages and tumblr inboxes are routinely inundated with stranger's dick pics.

It just bothers me when people complain about the dishonesty of other's when they're the very same to turn around and nitpick about sharp knees.
 
Perhaps I just have that vastly of a different experience than most people. I haven't ever dated online and my Facebook pages and tumblr inboxes are routinely inundated with stranger's dick pics.

It just bothers me when people complain about the dishonesty of other's when they're the very same to turn around and nitpick about sharp knees.

Well, yeah, your admitted total lack of experience with this annoyance might explain your misreading of the complaint.

As for the last bit, I'm not sure I see the problem. I mean, it's not hypocrisy. Anyway, who did this?
 
Perhaps I just have that vastly of a different experience than most people. I haven't ever dated online and my Facebook pages and tumblr inboxes are routinely inundated with stranger's dick pics.

It just bothers me when people complain about the dishonesty of other's when they're the very same to turn around and nitpick about sharp knees.

Huh? These seem to be one and the same. They want someone that they find attractive, not just in deceptively-posed photos, but in person, as well. Are you saying that these people have unrealistically high standards? I still don't see how that takes away from the main point of not being deceptive.

As to your first point, sorry you get a lot of dick pics? Still not sure what that has to do with anything in this thread. Hopefully the dick pics are a realistic depiction of said dick <.<
 
As to your first point, sorry you get a lot of dick pics? Still not sure what that has to do with anything in this thread. Hopefully the dick pics are a realistic depiction of said dick <.<

It doesn't, it's me admitting that I'm coming to this issue from a completely different perspective and I'm probably wrong.

And no, to quote a friend of mine "If I had to deal with the shit that comes into your inboxes everyday, I'd have a nervous breakdown."
 
It doesn't, it's me admitting that I'm coming to this issue from a completely different perspective and I'm probably wrong.

And no, to quote a friend of mine "If I had to deal with the shit that comes into your inboxes everyday, I'd have a nervous breakdown."

I don't envy women on the Internet, that's for sure.
 

Kevtones

Member
Move to a city OP.

Being 30 and single in Los Angeles is incredible but exhausting. It's wonderful to have so many attractive and interesting people to meet but difficult to find consistency because everyone is aware of this.

Think I've met someone though :)
 

KaoticBlaze

Member
I would never ever date a fat chick. In fact, unless the girl is slim, I won't be attracted to her at all. I myself gym 4x a week so I would expect the girl to also keep in shape.

I don't like how society panders to the weak. Fat acceptance is a damn shame.

Hey that is your right, we all know what we like and don't like. I myself am attracted to women who are on the slimmer side as well. While i do agree that our society has become very lazy and obese, that does not mean that we have to be a dick to people who are overweight. There could be a number of reasons why, like a medical issue, but you cant call someone weak just because they don't attend a gym. Frankly its because of people like you that more people don't attend gyms because of the looks and comments people like you give them when they go to a gym. I've heard a lot of nasty shit directed at overweight people at the gym during my workouts and THAT my good sir is what is actually "a damn shame."
 
I work retail, so I don't make much money. I've only been on two dates since starting tinder in October. One I banged, and the other mothing happened. I have a lot of matches I just talk or for self validation.

The girl last night goes to my gym, and came by my work Black Friday. Said her and her friends were going to watch the Lightning game near the beach.

I get off work and shower, game was over, and she said she and two of her friends went to grab dinner. I meet up with them, and she actually pays for my dinner. She makes decent coin. Her two drunk friend ls leave, we go to two different bars, walk by the beach to see sand art sculpture, and I drive her to her car, hug, and leave.

We talked forever, I was making her laugh, and we generally had a good time.

Kinda unsure where this is going. She's decent looking and has a super awesome personality. If she wants to eventually hook up, I guess I'll ride along. If not, then I really don't care.
 
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