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Is Anyone Actually Single?

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N

neoemonk

Member
I'll be 38 in a few months, and I've been with my wife for over a decade now. If anything happened and I found myself single again, I'd probably just spend the rest of my life alone. So much has changed with dating over the last ten years.

In fact that's pretty much what my dad did. After two divorces he hasn't had a significant other in 20 years. He's pushing 60 now so I don't think it's happening and he seems fine with it. We don't talk about it so maybe he's secretly pining for some companionship, I don't know.
 
Northeastmonk

Northeastmonk

Gold Member
I feel this way. I haven't met anyone who wasn't in a relationship and even if they weren't they were 8 or 9 years younger than me and didn't care at all. I met one woman who was amazing, thought she was single and living the life. Turns out she's married and has kids, but that was that. It's weird because I normally don't think anything of it. I've been single for quite some time and I hadn't felt any feelings for anyone. It was weird how I thought this one woman in my class was so amazing and the truth is she's married.

I don't think beyond that, so I was already staying back. I was just shocked how I never really get along with single women, but women who talk to me the most are married. It sucks and I get what the OP is saying. Absolutely nothing comes out of it.

I feel like a lot of single people are just living their daily commutes and doing fun things independently. Nothing comes out of it unless you tend to really please them as a person. I have no idea how I'd find someone. I'm a bit worried about it because I feel like I'd make a great partner.
 
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
backslashbunny said:
Yeah but once she figures out you're lying then it's toast.

Plus that is kinda shitty if you don't mean it. That'd be like if I had a career and said I was looking for an equal and not someone to take care of me... then as soon as we get married quit my job and start buying expensive things on his bill.
Click to expand...

...who said anything about lying? Lots of dudes like kids and want to have them, you just have to put it out there as a thing you're looking for and you'll shoot to the top of a lot of people's lists because women in their late 20s and 30s are frequently looking for people to settle down with.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
neoemonk said:
I'll be 38 in a few months, and I've been with my wife for over a decade now. If anything happened and I found myself single again, I'd probably just spend the rest of my life alone. So much has changed with dating over the last ten years.

In fact that's pretty much what my dad did. After two divorces he hasn't had a significant other in 20 years. He's pushing 60 now so I don't think it's happening and he seems fine with it. We don't talk about it so maybe he's secretly pining for some companionship, I don't know.
Click to expand...

It really isn't that difficult. You're giving up based on forum posts by people who have failed. Those who are succeeding are posting threads about it - all they'll get is the "congrats on the sex" jpg posted in response.

Or maybe you just fear new technology? If anything, it's made dating even easier.
 
T

Tabby

Member
When I'm single it feels like everyone around is in a relationship. Nothing is more annoying than constantly getting asked "you dating anyone yet?"
Like, why are you asking? If I did you'd know about it. It always feels condescending even though I know it's not.

But no I'm not single.
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
Lmao. Is anyone actually single? Yes in fact i am more single than anyone can get. Im your typical prelude to a suicide. Dont underestimate just how bad people have it.
 
M

Madison Paige

Member
I'm 22 and have mostly hung out with people who are older than me, and currently it seems that I'm the only person in my group of friends who doesn't either have a girlfriend, a wife, or a kid. As a result, I'm the only one who really has time to hang out anymore, as everyone else is often too busy, and we have gone from hanging out at least twice a month to hanging out maybe once every three months.

For several years, I was really fixated on trying to get into a relationship, but after having my heart broken a bunch of times and also seeing how relationships seem to take over my friends lives to the point that they no longer have one outside of the relationship, I've decided to just keep focusing on enjoying life and building skills, and if I meet someone, cool, but if not, that's also cool. It's somewhat lonely, but that's the trade-off, I suppose. I highly recommend that anyone who is thinking of looking for a relationship doesn't, because you most likely won't find one. Let the relationship come to you.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
~Kinggi~ said:
Lmao. Is anyone actually single? Yes in fact i am more single than anyone can get. Im your typical prelude to a suicide. Dont underestimate just how bad people have it.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear, as I am the same. Probably single for life, however long that may be.

It seems like everyone is in a relationship, though.
 
I

Into

Member
There is no way in hell, that in 2015 people cannot produce at least 2-3 pictures, 1 being a body shot. The very dating apps that people use require a fan that always has a camera.

I can understand if this was 2001, when cameras were not available to most people. So if you go out with someone with 1 photo, that has a obviously sketchy angle, then its on you.

OMG are you victim blamin'???


Why, yes i am! Absolutely. At some point its your responsibility to wade through the jungle that is online dating.
 
N

neoemonk

Member
ZackieChan said:
It really isn't that difficult. You're giving up based on forum posts by people who have failed. Those who are succeeding are posting threads about it - all they'll get is the "congrats on the sex" jpg posted in response.

Or maybe you just fear new technology? If anything, it's made dating even easier.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say I'm giving up as I'm happily married. I was just speaking hypothetically, if something happened to my wife. I never enjoyed dating and am actually happy I haven't had to do it in years.

I recently sat next to a younger woman on a plane and saw her using Tinder. It was the only time I've ever actually seen the app. I've read things about Tinder making you pay if you're over 30 or something like that.

Really it's not technology I'm afraid of. I just don't like the process of meeting new people, etc. I was 27 when I met my wife and we hit it off pretty much immediately, and it felt really natural. But I had a solid decade of awkward encounters and relationships prior to that. It always felt like there was a script I was supposed to be following but I didn't know my next line. Again, it was never like that with my wife, and that's probably why we are together ten years later.
 
The Spoony Hou

The Spoony Hou

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
Lmao. Is anyone actually single? Yes in fact i am more single than anyone can get. Im your typical prelude to a suicide. Dont underestimate just how bad people have it.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I saw the question and thought "jeez, just go to the gaming section".

I was terribly single most of my life. I do have a girlfriend right now though :p.
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
neoemonk said:
I wouldn't say I'm giving up as I'm happily married. I was just speaking hypothetically, if something happened to my wife. I never enjoyed dating and am actually happy I haven't had to do it in years.

I recently sat next to a younger woman on a plane and saw her using Tinder. It was the only time I've ever actually seen the app. I've read things about Tinder making you pay if you're over 30 or something like that.

Really it's not technology I'm afraid of. I just don't like the process of meeting new people, etc. I was 27 when I met my wife and we hit it off pretty much immediately, and it felt really natural. But I had a solid decade of awkward encounters and relationships prior to that. It always felt like there was a script I was supposed to be following but I didn't know my next line. Again, it was never like that with my wife, and that's probably why we are together ten years later.
Click to expand...

Yeah, something in my brain failed to make the connection with your ongoing marriage when I typed that post.

You have to pay on Tinder if you want to "like" over a certain amount of people in a day.

Dating is pretty fun, though. To each his own.
 
Jacknapes

Jacknapes

Member
Been single a few years now, do i miss being in a relationship?. I do, however it's trying to find the right person. There doesn't seem to be anyone i'm interested in around my area, and the ones whom i do like always seem to be in a relationship themselves.
 
U

uncelestial

Member
dity said:
These women aren't doing to it to be intentionally deceptive. They're doing it because they think whatever photo they chose looks nice. And in most cases, that's it.
Click to expand...
"Nice" in this case meaning "conforming to standards of beauty that I, in reality, can not come close to."

dity said:
A woman can't take a photo of herself that she happens to think looks nice without a man coming along and being all "oh that doesn't 100% represent you all the time", acting like they're a freaking retail product they're picking up at the shops.

And if a woman takes a photo that seems deceptive and you go on a date but bloody ditch the instant they don't look 100% the same, really I think it's that man's fault they're not dating and getting laid more so than the woman.

This thread peeves me. Gone for real this time.
Click to expand...
It's probably for the best that you're leaving. I'm sure you are capable of better than twisting and stretching to turn the phenomenon of women using deceptive pics on their dating profiles into something that is actually men's fault. May a cooler head prevail in your next posts.
 
D

dity

Member
uncelestial said:
"Nice" in this case meaning "conforming to standards of beauty that I, in reality, can not come close to."

It's probably for the best that you're leaving. I'm sure you are capable of better than twisting and stretching to turn the phenomenon of women using deceptive pics on their dating profiles into something that is actually men's fault. May a cooler head prevail in your next posts.
Click to expand...

Took you almost a week to "twist and stretch" what I said. Why bother? Actually, don't bother answering that.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
Into said:
There is no way in hell, that in 2015 people cannot produce at least 2-3 pictures, 1 being a body shot. The very dating apps that people use require a fan that always has a camera.

I can understand if this was 2001, when cameras were not available to most people. So if you go out with someone with 1 photo, that has a obviously sketchy angle, then its on you.

OMG are you victim blamin'???


Why, yes i am! Absolutely. At some point its your responsibility to wade through the jungle that is online dating.
Click to expand...

Online dating is a crapshoot. Unless you're an extremely attractive guy, good luck with it.
 
neobiz

neobiz

Member
neoemonk said:
I'll be 38 in a few months, and I've been with my wife for over a decade now. If anything happened and I found myself single again, I'd probably just spend the rest of my life alone. So much has changed with dating over the last ten years.

In fact that's pretty much what my dad did. After two divorces he hasn't had a significant other in 20 years. He's pushing 60 now so I don't think it's happening and he seems fine with it. We don't talk about it so maybe he's secretly pining for some companionship, I don't know.
Click to expand...

I'm 39 and a 20 year relationship is winding down for me. Online dating is terrible. On the plus side, I'm enjoying living alone. I never had that opportunity as a 'kid'.
 
Z

Zakalwe

Banned
dity said:
And all people are saying that any photo that doesn't have a woman's overweight areas up front and centre is a deceptive photo by women intentionally trying to trick men. And in the context of this thread, this seems to be most overweight women on dating sites.

These women aren't doing to it to be intentionally deceptive. They're doing it because they think whatever photo they chose looks nice. And in most cases, that's it. I think the problem more so lies with the absolutely shallow nature of dating sites. A woman can't take a photo of herself that she happens to think looks nice without a man coming along and being all "oh that doesn't 100% represent you all the time", acting like they're a freaking retail product they're picking up at the shops.

I mean people here say that initial attraction is super important while simultaneously shoving everything else under the carpet. It can go both ways, initial attraction also isn't that important considering there's more to someone than just that. And if a woman takes a photo that seems deceptive and you go on a date but bloody ditch the instant they don't look 100% the same, really I think it's that man's fault they're not dating and getting laid more so than the woman.

This thread peeves me. Gone for real this time.
Click to expand...

Sorry, but if a person posts images being one size, and when you meet them they're clearly significantly larger than all of their photos suggested, that's deception.

It's just the same as someone lying about their job, or abilities, or anything used to attract a date.

It's a terrible way to start a relationship.

However, if we're just talking about taking flattering pictures of our present self, then sure I see nothing wrong with that unless you're photoshopping it to hell.
 
S

Sulik2

Member
I'm happily a single guy at 31. I do feel weird about it at times though. Literally everyone I know is in a long term marriage or relationship and I am perfectly content single. I sometime wonder if there is something wrong with me that I am happy on my own.
 
B

btrboyev

Member
Im single and the longer I am, the more I like it and don't want a relationship. It's entirely freeing being able to do what I want all the time.
 
G

GreatestHits

Member
Everyone's kinda scared to be alone so yeah, everyone is awkwardly off-limits. Except of course for the ones in flourishing relationships. Being neutral/single/regular/not affilliated I think is actually assaulted upon by culture due to certain motivations. So you're not alone

Also, today is my birthday. Bmm-tsk Bmm-tsk Bmm-tsk
 
K

keffri

Member
1.0
 
A

Akuun

Looking for meaning in GAF
A lot of my friends have paired up, but I still know a bunch of people who are still single. Some are actively looking too.
 
G

gutter_trash

Banned
when I was younger, I would hold onto a relationship even if was a bad one just to avoid loneliness

now, I have evolved to break up a relationship if I foresee it not developing or it not working.

I was dating this nice girl for 4 months but I had to break up because I had no physical or emotional attraction. She is super nice, but I need a partner who is fun to talk, I got bored
 
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