Describing Mario Kart 7 is going to be almost pointless for anybody who has played most of the series, especially since this one ignores the more gimmicky aspects of Double Dash!! and Mario Kart Wii. The seventh iteration of the venerable kart racing series truly returns to the series' roots, keeping things free of complications and delivering the kind of "pure" karting experience fans have played for years. Usually, such a simplistic return to form can be a good thing, but with Mario Kart 7, the roots have aged to the point where they may well have become rotten.
This is weird. He first tells us Mario Kart 7 is pointless if you played the other recent games (we assume it's because it's basically the same game), but then he says Mario Kart 7 is a return to the simplistic roots of the franchise without the "complications", which means it's different from Double Dash and Mario Kart Wii. I'm confused.
but I must say that the Tanooki Tail is fairly useless
It's only useless if you're constantly in first place, far in front. Which only happens in 50cc and 100cc. It's not the most powerful power-ups, sure, but it's also good defensive tool.
obstacles are easily avoided
Again, this is true in 50cc and 100cc. But in 150cc and multiplayer, when the kart are faster and the action more intense, it's not that easy.
the power-up rarely appears when you're close enough to other racers to strike them.
What does that even mean ?
Familiar problems would be bearable if not for the other big issue with Mario Kart 7 -- it's just too damn slow. Even budget kart racers like Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine are faster and more exciting than this.
Still wondering if he even played at 150cc and in multiplayer. It's may not be "fast", but it's quite hectic and chaotic and you can easily make mistakes. Granted, I haven't played Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine.
Fact of the matter is that kart racers are old news, and this is one of the most routine kart racers on the market. Even series like Dynasty Warriors and Madden boast fresher features with each iteration than those found in Mario Kart 7...
This is silly, at least for Madden (haven't played much of Dynasty Warriors). This is the first portable Mario Kart in six years, with 16 new courses, new characters and new features, and you think it's a pointless game, while annual Madden games with only their updated rosters and few tweaks are OK ?
Unlike in Mario Kart DS, the rather neat ability to blow into the microphone to inflate balloons is no longer included. This is a straight old-school mode like everything else.
I'm willing to bet, if this feature was back in Mario Kart 7, it would be a negative in his review.
I'd rather have Dry Bones back than the uninteresting bee queen from Mario Galaxy.
Same comment. If all the Mario Kart DS characters were back without any new one, he would have criticized Nintendo.
Nevertheless, multiplayer doesn't really make the game more exciting
This is patently false. He probably didn't try the local multiplayer mode (since the game isn't out). But from experience with the past Mario Kart games, you know it's a great experience. As for the online mode, he surely tried it, but it isn't always easy to find an online game right now, especially a full 8-players game. Even with 4-5 drivers, it's still a blast.
The other half is the fact that it's a lethargic and mundane game, easily outpaced by games that could be considered knock-offs of the formula Nintendo itself perfected.
Easily outpaced ? Which one ? You gave ModNation Racers a 6.5, and you said this back then:
Once you get over the "OMG SOMEONE MADE THE JOKER" aspect of ModNation Racers, you're left with a poor man's Mario Kart. The Jimmy Johnson kart game ? You gave it a 6.0. You said the game
was good in a bad way. So, which one is way better ? Or is that another contradiction in itself ?
Last problem with the review: all he does is whine that it's another rehash, but he never tells us what Nintendo could do differently, what they could bring to the table to make it "fresher". I'm not asking him to design a new Mario Kart, just write a few suggestions. Well, he tells us once: he wants to be able to taunt people in multiplayer. Well, you can if you play locally. Online, that's a fair criticism, there is no vocal communication. But I'm quite sure, if there was, many gamers would turn it off for obvious reasons (kids, assholes, racists, etc.)