Criminal Upper
Banned
WHAT: An upgraded port of the PS2 version of the undisputed definitive chapter of the Metal Gear Solid saga, exclusive for the Nintendo 3DS.
WHEN: North America - February 21st l Europe/Japan - March 8th
HOW MUCH: $39.99
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater is the earliest point of the Metal Gear mythos, telling the story of Naked Snake as he goes on a death-defying and groin-grabbingly awesome quest against the backdrop of 1964 Russia. The CIA chooses Snake to undertake THE VIRTUOUS MISSION, which brings him to the jungles of the Soviet Union to rescue a cowardly and annoying scientist named Nikolai Sokolov. On his support team, Snake is commanded by Major Zero, a SAS commander who has started the "sneaking" outfit known as FOX to handle all of the American Government's top secret "sneaking" missions. The legendary super woman known as "The Boss" is also on the team and helped Major Zero plan the VIRTUOUS MISSION. She also happens to be Snake's longtime mentor/weird mother figure.
The mission goes super bad...like, it goes HORRIBLY and Snake messes up HARD. He basically loses Sokolov to the electric powered dynamo known as Volgin, The Boss immediately defects to the soviet union and brings along a bunch of dorky bosses who throw bees and shit. It's messed up. The CIA is SUPER PISSED and while Snake is still recovering in the ICU, they send him on ANOTHER mission where he basically has to kill everyone, feed on tree frogs and retrieve 3 billion dollars. Also, he meets a super sonic babe known as EVA.
This...is OPERATION SNAKE EATER.
If you're only vaguely familiar with Metal Gear Solid games, the big changes Snake Eater brings to the table are:
CQC - A form of close-quarters combat, this gives Snake an edge in hand-to-hand fighting, and let's him grab, throw, and basically beat the shit out of any grunts he comes across. You can slit their throats, prod them for information, or throw them wherever you want, like off a ravine.
STAMINA: The Jungle is a harsh place, where you stamina is constantly dropping all the time. Even if you're standing still, your stamina will eventually drop, because you're in Russia, I guess. You'll need to eat whatever you can find to keep your stamina up, frogs, crocodiles, birds, snakes, calorie mates, EVA...it doesn't matter, if it looks tasty, you can eat it! If you let your stamina get too low, it'll effect your performance in battle.
CAMO INDEX: Snake needs to blend into his surroundings kinda like a Snake...or a gecko, or something that's cold-blooded. To do this, he'll need to switch out his uniform or facepaint to better blend into his surroundings. The higher the camo percentage, the harder he is to see.
NINTENDO 3DS EXCLUSIVE FEATURES:
GODDAMN CROUCH-WALKING MOTHER FUCKER: Easily one the simplest and best new features of any Metal Gear game to date, it's so god-like it almost makes you forgive Kojima for MGS4. This slower form of movement keeps you low to the ground, and lets you stalk enemies like a kick-ass jungle cat, giving Snake lots of movement options, and making him 100% more bad-ass.
OVER-THE-SHOULDER AIMING: More recent Metal Gear games that are not as good as Snake Eater innovated with a more modern camera perspective when aiming, giving Snake an easier time of placing those shots into enemy groins. But don't worry, if you're an OG, you can switch the camera to "traditional" 1st person aiming.
GYRO-CONTROLS: Russia is not all jungles and swamps! There's bridges and narrow mountain passes too! To traverse these, new gyro controls have been added so you will need to tilt your 3DS to keep Snake's balance. If you do this in public, girls will see you flexing your muscles, and will probably want to have sex with you afterwards. Make them cosplay like EVA.
CAMERA CAMO: With the 3DS's super high-tech cameras, you can take a picture basically anything and imprint it on Snake's uniform and face camo to better blend in his surroundings. It should be noted very few background elements in Snake Eater look like penises, so you might not want to try...you know.
UPDATED CHARACTER MODELS: Character models in the game have seen some tweaks, most notably Snake himself. More colorful tones, higher contrast, and an added number of polygons, make the character models appear tastier and fresher than ever before!
CIRCLE PAD SUPPORT: Don't want to bother with dreadful Peace Walker camera controls? Nintendo just so happened to put out a device that will hopefully erase those painfull memories from our collective sub-consciences! It now controls as smoothly as EVA's bazongas!
Nintendo Power - 9/10
EDGE - 8/10 "Packed with detail, both in terms of it’s environments and mechanics, this is a game that pays back investment in spades. MGS3 is a moden classic – the tighest, smartest and most emotional journey in the series – and even the HD update doesn’t look as good as this portable treatment.”
Nintendo Gamer - 93%
