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One will protect you, the other nine are coming to kill you...

I

Imperial Bishop

Banned
Flash, without a doubt. As long as we got speedforce, we're invincible.

2b9.jpg
 
R

Rooster12

Member
Azazzel said:
Now, I don’t know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say “your taste in wine is atrocious”. He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his ass. He’s that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.
Click to expand...

In pre-crisis days he could shapeshift.

bGfmyhJ.jpg
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If he pulls a move like that....you're toast.
 
J

Just_myles

Member
Kelsdesu said:
In prparation for this thread Batman steals the Atom's tech and hires eight people to live inside the brains of each individual (or stay in close proximity in small form). Upon any conflict the sleepers are activated thus killing the individuals.

So Batman.


Edit: receipt.
23w51j9d7iwy.jpg
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Deadpool did that to Luke Cage in Deadpool kills the Marvel universe. So I'll allow it.

Batman for me.
 
C

Conkersbadfurday

Member
Probably The Flash. I mean, I fucking hate him, but he's so fucking OP that he could beat the rest.

But I hate living sometimes so maybe I'd just choose Iron Man and we could drink. That would be fun.
 
L

Last_colossi

Member
Well we all know that the Flash is the most OP hero in the DCU but Superman is a close second... Hmmm... But Batman would know all of their weaknesses and would probably be able to hide you until he changes their minds...


I'd have to go with the Flash, even though he's not my favourite hero, if I had to choose a hero to protect me I'd probably choose the one that can time travel and absorb the kinetic energy of the entire planet.
 
E

Escape Goat

Member
Last_colossi said:
Well we all know that the Flash is the most OP hero in the DCU but Superman is a close second... Hmmm... But Batman would know all of their weaknesses and would probably be able to hide you until he changes their minds...


I'd have to go with the Flash, even though he's not my favourite hero, if I had to choose a hero to protect me I'd probably choose the one that can time travel and absorb the kinetic energy of the entire planet.
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Twist: it's the CW Flash who is the dumbest superhero ever.
 
M

Mr_Moogle

Member
Superman. Even if somehow fucks it all up and the shit really hits the fan, Supes can just do a couple of laps around earth and go back in time.
 
T

Telosfortelos

Advocate for the People
Flash vs the other 9 would likely lead to the destruction of the universe and/or timeline. I'm not sure I'd make it through to the other side. I'll go with supes.
 
A

Aaronology

Member
Syrus said:
Whos the yelllw guy with S??

And how can wonder woman fight supes?
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Her strength is near to on par with Superman's, she has defeated kryptonians and others of similar strength before and she is a much more skilled fighter to boot. On top of that, she possesses magical items (and is a magical being herself), which also gives her an edge over Clark.

AFAIK, Wonder Woman has never been KO'd by Superman.
 
A

Azazzel

Member
Flash would be the most logical choice if it were to be a non dumb Flash who is also efficient and ruthless.

So like one Flash in the whole history of comic books i guess.
 
L

Lucc

Member
Spiderman. Just so he'd get even more depressed because he couldn't save another person he was supposed to protect.

Realtak: Flash. dude can run back and forward in time. Point to head. How can they kill me if they can't catch me.
 
D

Dreavus

Member
Batman.

I loved that old JLA arc where a villain steals his contingency plans and starts fucking everyone up. He put flash into a light speed seizure. He made Martian manhunter's skin combust when it comes into contact with air. That's some scary shit and he's got one on file for each of them.
 
K

Kayant

Member
Batman if he had his contingent plans and they all worked perfectly.

Other wise Flash because Superman/WW can't track him once his up to speed right? Although I remember superman going back in time once. 🤔
Slayven said:
Spiderman wrote an app on a smart phone to steals people's souls. And he did that in hours
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Wtf! I should read comics sometime.

Really though I would want WW or Hulk because ♥️.
 
N

Not

Banned
Batman

No way the writers don't trip over themselves finding some new masturbatory way to get him out if it and be awesome

I'm hanging out around Batman

Azazzel said:
Flash would be the most logical choice if it were to be a non dumb Flash who is also efficient and ruthless.

So like one Flash in the whole history of comic books i guess.
Click to expand...

Wouldn't competent Flash be like, a god capable of ruling a whole universe? Lol
 
S

sarcastor

Member
George Oscar Bluth II said:
I want to say Spidey because he's greatness but... if I actually want to live? The Flash.
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Telosfortelos said:
Flash vs the other 9 would likely lead to the destruction of the universe and/or timeline. I'm not sure I'd make it through to the other side. I'll go with supes.
Click to expand...

Shaanyboi said:
Flash. Because Speed Force. And Wonder Woman. Because Wonder Woman. And Batman. Because prep time.
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if Flash is so powerful, how come his enemies include a guy with a ice gun and a guy who throws boomerangs?
 
V

velociraptor

Junior Member
Azazzel said:
Now, I don’t know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say “your taste in wine is atrocious”. He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his ass. He’s that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.

Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fun master of not much, but instead he’s the hottest shit to ever shit on a plate. You got a power? He’ll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He’ll light you on fire when you’re sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of fuck you batman. That’s Batman.

But the fucking Flash, my god, my FUCKING GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman’s powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to ‘get in on’ then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that fucking hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else’s job.

Ok first off, he can travel at lightspeed. Mother fuck! Not only does he travel at lightspeed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he’s having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he’s already gotten to Arizona. That’s fucking fast. But wait! The ability to move at Lightspeed just isn’t fucking enough! I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you’ve been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you’re about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he’s beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there’s more!

The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain’t no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at lightspeed would run into shit but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, fucker) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be “okay” afterwards or FUCKING EXPLODE. That’s right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transfering kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. IT’s bad enough you can’t hit this guy, but he doesn’t even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you’re thinking you’re about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He’s the fucking Flash.

Now imagine that somehow there’s someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it’s going slow and then he’s like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it’s going at lightspeed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.

But wait! There’s more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don’t even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let’s say Flash is fighting Superman and shit he’s going to lose and FUCK how is Superman THIS fucking strong? I don’t know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND. How do you beat this dude? You’re thinking you’re hashing him good, laying down the beatdown, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there’s a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn’t fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! Fuck you Flash! You moved the stairs to Soviet fucking russia! RUSH-A! Bitch.

Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn’t fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You’d think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at lightspeed but NOOOO he’s even good in bed.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak greasefire.
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Haha, fantastic.

Why is Flash such a chump in the TV shows?
 
J

jdstorm

Banned
Batman has a no kill rule, so i'm perfectly fine with letting him try and kill me. He wouldn't do it.

No question, you have to choose Superman, because none of the others could stop him.
 
B

BreezyLimbo

Banned
Marry Wonder Woman
Fuck Robin
Kill Batman

edit: wait shit that's not what this is

uhhhhhhhh I'll have the green lantern protect me.
 
B

Branduil

Member
Batman is the obvious choice. Not only does he know every other superhero's weakness, but also, if you don't choose him... that means he's using his detective skills to help 8 other superheroes kill you.
 
D

DSN2K

Member
Superman would be the logical choice but he's an idiot and would likely kill you by accident trying to protect you. If Batman has prep time Batman but if he doesn't Flash.
 
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