Good point.
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Online Dating is Hard
- Thread starter JaseMath
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Good point.
Opus Angelorum
Member
I play 10-15 hours of games a week and my wife likes giving me a BJ whilst playing.
I guess I lucked out?
Edit: We met online
I guess I lucked out?
Edit: We met online
Messofanego
Banned
How do you have that much time?!
Multitasking, obviously.
8 hours in front of the tv is too long also.
Opus Angelorum
Member
Time to play games? When I come home from work I do chores whilst making dinner, watch TV until around 10 then play games for a couple of hours (wife usually goes to bed). At weekends I would play a game from 11 to 3am/4am.
Especially when they are 'watching' said TV show whilst on their phone!
Krauser Kat
Member
damn those numbers are rough.
Just on bumble since jan 15th, maybe 30-40 matches. 6 bumble dates (4 okcupid) and 5 of those all had follow ups. Dating is fun but its easy to get overwhelmed and spend too much time doing it. I always fall into going into 3-4 dates a week usually with all different women just to see if i want to keep talking to them.
Broadbandito
Member
Met my girlfriend on okcupid. I bought her pokemon sun.
Messofanego
Banned
Fair enough, more power to you. I don't think I'll have like 10+ hours of a week to dedicate to games when I get married and working a good job, so I'm kind of jealous
Matrix XII
Member
I'm very fortunate I didn't have to get into online dating (met my wife through a friend). I feel for people that are dating it's really not easy.
Keep trying and hopefully you are able to get a good woman! True love does exist.
Keep trying and hopefully you are able to get a good woman! True love does exist.
I never have problems in the beginning phases.
But so many dates I get online end up like this for some reason.
Me: Hey, nice meeting you yesterday.
Her: (5 minutes later) Yes it was so much fun! We definitely have to do it again sometime
Next week
Me: Let's get together this Friday if you have time
Her: (2 days later) SO SORRY BUSY FOREVER
It's a mindfuck. I seriously barely dated anyone for five months after the last time it happened to me. I had a great date earlier this week and I think it's happening again (don't wanna jump to conclusions since she just started a new job but given past experiences...
If they do that then they're probably not interested
mattiewheels
And then the LORD David Bowie saith to his Son, Jonny Depp: 'Go, and spread my image amongst the cosmos. For every living thing is in anguish and only the LIGHT shall give them reprieve.'
I just signed up for Bumble, and right off the bat it feels fake as fuck. I'm in Miami so maybe that has a lot to with it, but every girl I've seen on here is the duck lips, instagram model type. And after a few swipes they block you from seeing more? Scam.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Nah, Bumble is legit. Its just up to the girls to initiate a conversation.
mattiewheels
And then the LORD David Bowie saith to his Son, Jonny Depp: 'Go, and spread my image amongst the cosmos. For every living thing is in anguish and only the LIGHT shall give them reprieve.'
At least on okcupid you can see all the girls. Why do they limit you from seeing girls Ike it's some freemium game?
blame space
Banned
using the internet interact with people is actually crazier than doing it in person
madstarr12
Member
It's also pretty annoying when they say on their profile stuff like "send me a message!". And when you do, they may read it, but not reply back.
kingwingin
Member
What kind of message do you send them?It's also pretty annoying when they say on their profile stuff like "send me a message!". And when you do, they may read it, but not reply back.
LookAtMeGo
Member
They do try to get you to pay for premium service. Sort of like Tinder with limited likes but unlimited with premium.
LyleLanley
Banned
It's also pretty annoying when they say on their profile stuff like "send me a message!". And when you do, they may read it, but not reply back.
Send better messages.
Forerunner
Member
What is your opinion on the Switch?
ZackieChan
Member
Or be better looking/take better photos
LyleLanley
Banned
Never a bad idea.
I've had a few tries at online dating and nothing has really panned out. The last being what I thought was a good, fun, light date but was instantly ghosted the day after. Of course I probably fucked up somehow, I'm just not sure what I did to get that reaction. I've basically cut out any kind of dating from my life, less as a choice and more as an acceptance that I'm undatable.
Well that sounds like a neat idea. Too bad I'm not nearly attractive enough for this to happen ever.
Well that sounds like a neat idea. Too bad I'm not nearly attractive enough for this to happen ever.
TBiddy
Member
And accept that any half-decent girl on online dating sites will get somewhere between 10 and 100 new messages every day from hopeful men. If you don't stand out, you'll get ignored.
How do you meet someone on Periscope? Lol
some people actually criticize that aspect of efficiency because they feel it removes the "romantic" component of dating
I can't say I agree with them, even with online dating you're going to meet a lot of different people (if you keep an open mind), including some real... memorably bad dates, that make for great dinner stories
ZackieChan
Member
Somehow I manage to get dates, even with a goatee
I think online dating as a phenomenon is incredibly interesting. I do think it kind of messes with our heads a little bit, and in the end it's probably better to meet someone the good old fashioned way. Below are some thoughts from me and others I've talked to regarding online dating. Full respect for everyone that met their significant other online though, it works for some people, no doubt about it
I think a big part of being able to handle online dating is learning to accept behaviour that doesn't really mesh well with reality. It is for example very common to have a good back and forth with someone, only for them to just stop answering and disappear without a word. I think if you apply the same logic to online as you do real world interactions this will sting alot. It will just feel rude to do that (and I still feel it is, at least if you had a conversation going for a while). It is also as a guy very common to send out several dozens of messages only to not receive a single response, which can be incredibly demoralizing (women instead get dozens of unsolicited sex invites, which is equally jarring).
What's the reason for this? Women generally get bombed with messages which makes it impossible to answer or even look at them all. This leads to men in the end giving up on sending longer, well-crafted messages since the response rate is so low (it just sucks spending 10-15 min on a message and not even get an answer), and just starting to send out mass e-mails instead, hoping for an answer. This in turn dilutes the mass of e-mails women get even more.
In the end online dating really solidifies old-school gender roles where men are the pursuers and women are the one's being courted, but on a bigger scale than ever and from the anonymity of a computer/phone screen.
I think a big part of being able to handle online dating is learning to accept behaviour that doesn't really mesh well with reality. It is for example very common to have a good back and forth with someone, only for them to just stop answering and disappear without a word. I think if you apply the same logic to online as you do real world interactions this will sting alot. It will just feel rude to do that (and I still feel it is, at least if you had a conversation going for a while). It is also as a guy very common to send out several dozens of messages only to not receive a single response, which can be incredibly demoralizing (women instead get dozens of unsolicited sex invites, which is equally jarring).
What's the reason for this? Women generally get bombed with messages which makes it impossible to answer or even look at them all. This leads to men in the end giving up on sending longer, well-crafted messages since the response rate is so low (it just sucks spending 10-15 min on a message and not even get an answer), and just starting to send out mass e-mails instead, hoping for an answer. This in turn dilutes the mass of e-mails women get even more.
In the end online dating really solidifies old-school gender roles where men are the pursuers and women are the one's being courted, but on a bigger scale than ever and from the anonymity of a computer/phone screen.
Double Donut
Member
Eugh, the usual video game double standards.
Spend a day off binging Netflix? Nice!
Spend a day off binging games? Pathetic.
Some stigmas'll never leave, OP.
Spend a day off binging Netflix? Nice!
Spend a day off binging games? Pathetic.
Some stigmas'll never leave, OP.
Online dating -
You meet someone, you talk to them
It's seems there's something
You ask them on a date
They don't respond ( or say Yes to that date and then don't respond)
They delete you
Online dating from what's happened in my experience
I need to delete these apps and gain confidence to ask someone out in person. I would advise you too
You meet someone, you talk to them
It's seems there's something
You ask them on a date
They don't respond ( or say Yes to that date and then don't respond)
They delete you
Online dating from what's happened in my experience
I need to delete these apps and gain confidence to ask someone out in person. I would advise you too
always crazy bacon
Banned
The secret is not to use online dating as your ONLY way to meet women. You'll still need to interact with them in real life and not hide behind the relative safety of a screen. Those skills need practicing in real life.
Indeed.
It's for this reason I hope Bumble takes off more than it currently is, but I very much doubt that.
Jacknapes
Member
Met my current partner on an online dating site. Did start on Tinder, wasn't getting anywhere so moved onto Plenty of Fish. Was chatting to a few women on there, set-up 3 dates (all 3 said yes, 2 actually showed up). The 3rd date was with the woman i'm with now. She knows i enjoy playing video games, and doesn't stop me from doing that.
Been together almost a year now.
Been together almost a year now.
OrangeGrayBlue
Member
This is some back-of-a-napkin math so it is by no means absolute, but this was how I whittled it down to that number:
Let's say you're using tinder and you swipe right on about 1 out of every 50 people. That's close to my ratio, and I think that's probably pretty close for most people who don't just swipe right on everyone. Obviously it will vary from person to person but I'm just estimating here.
So we're already down to a 1 in 50 chance.
Then let's say 1 out of every 10 people who you swipe right on also swipes right on you.
Now our odds are 1 in 500. These are the people that we've "matched" with.
Then let's say of those we've matched with, one out of every 5 actually responds to messages and agrees to meet up in person. So now we're at 1 out of every 2500 people. (I'm pushing the limits of my godawful math skills here so feel free to correct me).
And then I assume that once you meet up with someone in person, after the rigorous process that preceded all this, there's a roughly 50/50 chance of there being a genuine connection that carries on for at least a few months. And that brings us to 1 in 5000.
Should also be noted that I'm coming from a guy's perspective. I assume women generally have more matches/opportunities to meet up. Then again, once you filter out the creeps maybe the odds more or less even out. This is also from a heterosexual perspective, I'm really not sure how the odds would differ in regard to any LGBTQ relationships.
Cause life is a freemium game
TBiddy
Member
If you're only 'accepting' 1 in 50 women, I think you're missing out on a lot of great people. Why do you dismiss 49 out of 50 women? It is based on their looks, what they write or just a feeling?
When I was single, I think I swiped right on about half. It gave me a lot of matches, naturally. Some turned out to be waste of both our times, others led to some great and fun evenings, a few took me to the coveted "friends with benefits" position, and the last one gave me the best girlfriend I could ask for.
Why limit yourself to 2%? Swipe right, match, meet-up. It's the only way to find out if there's anything there.
I'd rather be forever alone than with any of the women who have messaged me on dating sites or similar these past few years. No offence to these women, I'm sure there's a guy out there for them but I just don't think he's on online dating... and my women most likely won't be either.
It's a game of looks and first impressions, which 99% of the population are shit at (yes both parts) and thats why dating/social media is terrible for this sort of thing. I'd way prefer if you met as strangers, no photos and slowly talked and the more messages you shared the more unblured/visable a photo would become. Then all conversations can start and develop as friendships, rather than a large majority of guys just asking to fuck or having terrible opening lines.
I find it hard to talk to women who's first messages to me are things like "Do you like noodles? because i'd like to suck yours" and "I heard gingers are crazy in bed, want to help me find out?" -- I just hate that sort of conversation, sure forward/confident women are hot but none of these women have ticked my boxes and I'm way happier alone with my puppy than I would be with them.
It's a game of looks and first impressions, which 99% of the population are shit at (yes both parts) and thats why dating/social media is terrible for this sort of thing. I'd way prefer if you met as strangers, no photos and slowly talked and the more messages you shared the more unblured/visable a photo would become. Then all conversations can start and develop as friendships, rather than a large majority of guys just asking to fuck or having terrible opening lines.
I find it hard to talk to women who's first messages to me are things like "Do you like noodles? because i'd like to suck yours" and "I heard gingers are crazy in bed, want to help me find out?" -- I just hate that sort of conversation, sure forward/confident women are hot but none of these women have ticked my boxes and I'm way happier alone with my puppy than I would be with them.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Are you sure you were not getting messages from Bots? Those examples you gave seem like it.
I got lucky. I installed Tastebuds when one of my friends recommended it to me, on a whim. After three weeks of not using it very often just to look at hot women, I messaged a couple. Went on a date with the second one in November and we've been together ever since. Couldn't be happier!
I got really lucky.
I got really lucky.
SoRuffShoNuff
Member
Online dating is easy once you start using sites where people are actually interested in dating and aren't just using their profile for entertainment or a carrot in hopes of a millionaire or super model.
I've only used the sites where people have actual profiles and you send them messages, none of the wipe business. It's quite apparent who is serious about meeting people and who
just wants attention. I met my wife online.
I've only used the sites where people have actual profiles and you send them messages, none of the wipe business. It's quite apparent who is serious about meeting people and who
just wants attention. I met my wife online.
What the fuck women are messaging you and how do I meet them?
Wtf, all I ever get is the generic "hey" from girls who don't know how to start a conversation.
So...it's basically like real life?
I'll never understand the complaints about the superficial-ness of online dating. Sad but true, that's how it works both online and in person. If anything, programs like Tinder make it easier because you know the person you're attracted to at least thinks you're attractive too even before you "approach" them. Beyond that, it's essentially the same as in the real world.
Offline: you go to a party or club or wherever. You see a girl you think is cute. You approach her. Maybe she thinks you're cute too, maybe she shuts you down.
Online: you swipe on a girl you think is cute. You get to contact her if she thinks you're cute too.
Basically, for most people, looks ARE the first sign of attraction, so I don't see how online is any worse than in person in that regard.
I guess Hull and Birmingham are full of crazy women?
Oh, don't get me wrong, most are 'hey' but I've had a few interesting ones like those and one women who asked me about boxers or briefs as a first message; which is less interesting.
I've fallen for a lot of women who I only heard their voice or chatted with them. From Xbox Live, Teamspeak to just chatting on snapchat (I fell for a girl who only snap chatted things and never selfies of herself) and I found those experiences to be way more engaging because you fall for the personality and idea of someone than just their superficial qualities such as their looks. I've also met women who were interested in me in these scenarios but I wasn't that into them and vice versa and that's fine too. I just feel like dating has become way more about looks but maybe thats just a thing as I've gotten older? I remember at school just texting random girls who I didn't think were that hot but really made me laugh and held good conversations and that made me attracted to them - something which rarely happens when the first thing you see on Tinder is a 'glamor shot' or something.
I've tried the whole meeting girls in bars thing too and it works but it feels really lame and left me wanting more than those fleeting connections and such.
I also used to appear on stage at big gaming conventions when I was a 'known' YouTuber and that caused issues on the night events when everyone was drunk - you never knew if the girls were just there because they had seen you on stage a few hours earlier and surrounded by kids signing things for hours because Minecraft sucks the life out of you and seemingly gives it to the hundreds of kids who never let you move at those places. This all made me very weary about meeting people and I had a lot of fleeting romances at these events and even a few relationships but nothing really meaningful.
Yeeeeep. Hahaha.
Not sure it's that rare. My wife is the first one I met on eharmony, not sure if it's dumb luck or there was really something to the dozens of questions they make you answer, but we get along great, as does our families. The friend that go me to this was the same, still with the first girl that he met and she's great too. I had a pretty poor experience with guardiansoulmates before that. Being a Chinese guy in the UK, I don't think I had it easy.
Spuck-uk
Banned
Spending 8 hours of a day doing either is pretty waste behaviour, h2h
Spuck-uk
Banned
Easily the most insane girl I ever met online dating lived in Birmingham. She was crazy hot, but also crazy crazy, fun few weeks.
Kacho
Member
I'm so sick of being passively judged for doing something I enjoy. I'm sick of pretending I'm someone I'm not just so I can find a companion in life. I'm to the point now where if you don't like me for who I am then your loss.
Don't like that I play video games? Don't care!
Don't like that I watch anime in my mid thirties? Don't care!
Don't like my amiibo collection? Don't care!
I will continue to be me and be happy. Online dating is more trouble than it's worth anyway. Attractive women get all the attention and everyone else is ignored. Terrible for ones self esteem!
Don't like that I play video games? Don't care!
Don't like that I watch anime in my mid thirties? Don't care!
Don't like my amiibo collection? Don't care!
I will continue to be me and be happy. Online dating is more trouble than it's worth anyway. Attractive women get all the attention and everyone else is ignored. Terrible for ones self esteem!
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