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Quest for the Holy Relics: A NeoGAF DnD Play by Post Campaign

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
((Crap... seriously reconsidering my choice now, i actually lowered my ac. I hope Eva feels like grapple a giant for no good reason, otherwise all i did was give my self 19 hp))

((Shoot, we probably should have coordinated a bit more. Do you think Quintus and Muun can handle Evaneth? I figured keeping the heat on Bones would be good so he doesn't snipe, leaving Jack and Val to go after Ivor or assist with taking Bones out faster. Plus I wanted to be positioned to jump Sarm as soon as he comes back, whenever he does pop up.))
 
Quintus does the much less interesting thing of dimension dooring a good ways away from Eva and the rest of the Nega-party. 100 feet away I'm thinking.
 

Mike M

Nick N
Jack appraises with Bone's retreat from him with cold calculation, and wordlessly stalks after him, like like some sort of... non... giving up... school guy. A blue glow washes over him as he discharges another unit of his power reserves to repair some measure of damage that Bones inflicted. He takes up flanking position with Tarkus around Bones, ready to strike should the opportunity arise.

Code:
Jack Reflex Save vs. Grease:  1d20+11=22
((Jack uses another Opportunistic Piety to patch himself up a bit. Guess Tarkus can take another +2 to the attack rolls due to flanking?))

Code:
Val Fortitude Save vs. Poison:  1d20+11=27
((LOL, I had a whole write up because I assumed I was going to fail that roll, now I need to start from scratch.))

Val looks at the unconscious form of Suvne. For a brief moment, he can almost believe this is the same woman he knew but briefly, and he almost stays his blade before burying his rapier in the doppelganger's eye socket until he feels the tip strike bone. In an almost perfunctory gesture, he gives the sword a brief shake within her cranium, just to ensure that she's well and truly dead. ((Any need to actually roll that attack?))

Ivor's bolt catches him by surprise, and he gasps in surprise and pain as he pulls the projectile from his flesh. Eyeing the point,he can see that it's coated in some sort of substance other than his own blood, probably some manner of poison. Hopefully he withdrew it before it could take effect.

Jack and Tarkus seeming to have Bones well enough in hand and remembering Jack's advice about the perils of engaging Ivor (even more apropos than before, now that the rogue had gone invisible), Val makes his way around the grease-soaked battlefield towards Evaneth to lend Muun assistance.
 
((Bones 5-steps northeast and Full Attacks at Jack.

First Attack: 34 vs AC. Miss.
Second Attack: 40 vs AC. 75%. Jack takes 12 damage.
Third Attack: Natural 20. Confirmation roll fails. 92%, so this one misses.
Fourth Attack: 23 vs AC. Miss.

Evaneth uses Full Attack on Val, with Flurry of Blows.

First attack: 25 vs AC. Miss.
Second attack: 35 vs AC. I'll give Val the benefit of the doubt and assume that his Dodge bonus is on Evaneth, so that'll miss.
Third Attack: 30 vs AC. Miss.
Fourth Attack: Natural 1, miss.
Fifth attack: 22 vs AC. Miss.

Ivor moves out of the spot he'd been occupying previously. DC 50 Spot check to be able to tell which square he moved to (or a Natural 20). It would be higher for Quintus because of the distance, but I don't think his perception is high enough to actually attain it without a Nat 20 anyway))

With both Sarm and Suvne gone, and Ivor slowed, things are suddenly looking dire for the challengers.

Bones takes an axe to the chin, and even though it clearly injured him, the elf seems unfazed. "Not now, Orc! I've gotta get rid of this.... this... unnatural.... THING!"

He lets out an indecipherable shriek as Jack approaches, and steps back to fire off another bevy of arrows, but this time only one of them connects.

Evaneth takes the only logical course of action, as his previous target has vanished and a new one has taken its place: he launches into yet another series of intricate, dance-like attack patterns, each of which is deftly dodged or blocked by a very ticked-off swashbuckler. The tight-lipped monk appears worried as he braces for a counterattack.

Ivor neither does nor says anything this round, but anyone who is paying attention gets a strong feeling that the dwarf has just moved to another position on the battlefield.

Sarm still has not returned from the Maze.

Muun suddenly notices that Celia is nowhere to be found.

*******

The war-torn battlefield in the distance once again is irrevocably changed, as suddenly a large pit opens up in the ground under Emrakul, and an armada of flying devils erupts forth, followed close behind by the God of the Underworld, Asmodeus.

The Lord of Hell

tumblr_mk1j6xkGVx1s7x60do1_1280.jpg

Having apparently been biding his time, waiting until the last possible moment to put himself and his forces at risk, apparently the Dark Lord has now decided that the battle is not going as well as he'd like it to.

Asmodeus wastes no time in focusing every single bit of his power against Ulamog, signaling the rest of the gods to concentrate on Emrakul. Unbelievably, this strategy seems to be working; the god of the underworld appears to be the most powerful of the Astral Sea gods by far. Rather than bothering to channel his power through any particular element or school of magic, he instead simply unleashes a cavalcade of pure divine and arcane destructive energy, focused into a single beam which cuts a hole straight through the earth-bound Eldrazi, though it yet remains standing. So far, its tentacles and arms are being kept at bay by the legion of devilish creatures that are still emerging from the Pit.

The alliance against Emrakul doesn't fare as well. Vecna is finally claimed by a wayward tentacle, and the god of secrets meets a swift end as he is disassembled in real time, much as Gruumsh was.

Emrakul then directs a concentrated pulse of null-energy toward the ball of light that represents Pelor, and suddenly that light goes out, signaling the death of the Sun God. Evidently on a roll and not willing to give it up just yet, Emrakul follows this with a piercing beam of light that seems to seek out and home in on Ioun, and she spontaneously melts in a shocking display of the Eldrazi's power.

Of the major gods, only Asmodeus, Heironeous, the Raven Queen, and Erythnul/Mayaheine remain, though so far Olidamarra hasn't yet shown himself.

((Begin Round 6))
 
((Eh, yeah I'll give that to you. He actually is trying to be stealthy, but he's leaning heavily on his invisibility to help him with that, so the 30 will be enough to spot him.

Ivor is to the west of Val and Evaneth, and he seems to be ready to fire another crossbow bolt at Val on his next turn))
 
((Hmm... tempting as it is to warn Val... not sure that would help much. And I've got a plan for next turn that will work best if he is unaware I've found him probably.))
 
"Celia... Celia!?" A chill runs down Muun's spine, did Ehlonna die and Celia went with her?

He deactivates the Blink ring, now that it's only impeding his attacking. He can't hurry with the battle if he keeps firing into the other plane.
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
As the blue aura disappears from his armor, Tarkus continues his rampage.

((AC: 28))

Full Attack vs Bones
1d20+33+4-2 → [7,33,4,-2] = (42)
1d20+33+4-2 → [1,33,4,-2] = (36) ((ugh))
1d20+33+4-2 → [5,33,4,-2] = (40)

Damage vs Bones
1d12+21 → [9,21] = (30)
1d12+21 → [7,21] = (28)
1d12+21 → [6,21] = (27)
=57

Holy Damage:
2d8 → [8,5] = (13)
2d8 → [4,3] = (7)
2d8 → [6,2] = (8)
=21

Total: 78
 

Mike M

Nick N
Code:
Jack Perception Check:  1d20+13=26

Val Perception Check:  1d20+19=24

As Jack's systems enact their repairs, his beeps and screeches coalesce into intelligible speech once more. "The foundation of your prejudice toward my inorganic composition is flawed," he says as he removes the protruding arrow and crushes the wooden shaft to splinters in his fist. "This world is host to numerous creatures that alter their surroundings in the course of fulfilling their ecological niches. Beaver dams. Termite mounds. Would you describe these as unnatural as well? I am no different."

His philosophical lecture concluded, Jack heaves his sword and strikes again.

Jack Full Round Attack vs Bones

Attack 1: 1d20+20=40
Confirming critical: 1d20+20=24
Percentage to hit: 84
((Womp womp))

Attack 2: 1d20+15=33
Percentage to hit: 16
Damage: 2d6+10=16
((Adding a flanking bonus, because I'm pretty sure he and Tarkus are in position))


Regrettably, the Elven ranger perishes before he can articulate a counter argument. Jack chalks this up as a victory and channels another charge of his healing energy into his wounded half-orc companion before heading off in the direction of Ivor's last known location.

((Opportunistic Piety to heal up 29HP for Tarkus.))

---

Val tries not to think about the divine slaughter occurring in the skies above them. Not for the first time, the thought processes of the gods elude him. If the assembled might of the divine host is being routed such as this, what hope has Lucille, who is vested with but a fraction of their power?

What hope have Val and the others, who are vested with none?

Exercising a Herculean amount of mental compartmentalism, Val instead focuses on his duel with Evaneth's dark reflection. Deadly Evaneth who had bested the lot of them single handedly, a victory obtained only through the monk succumbing to his overwhelming guilt and surrendering. This version seems but a pale shadow of that dread memory, his flurry of blows striking nothing but air as Val successfully reads his movements every time. As Val launches into his counterattack, he wonders if this Evaneth is truly a lesser version of the conflicted monk, or if Val has simply gotten better at fighting over the course of these past six months.

Gods know he's seen a lot of it.

Code:
Val Full Attack vs Evaneth

Attack 1:  1d20+28=39
Percentage to hit: 89

Attack 2:  1d20+23=43
Confirming critical:  1d20+23=29
Percentage to hit:  15
Damage:  1d6+20=23
Bonus crit damage:  1d6+20=22+3 STR damage

Attack 3:  1d20+18=24
Percentage to hit: 59
Damage:  1d6+20=26
((Adding flanking bonus because Muun's right there. Man, what is up with these critical rolls? Makes me wonder if all the swapping back and forth between dice numbers isn't glitching out the RNG on my dice roller app))

"Tarkus!" Val shouts. "If you're done killing Bones, I could use a hand here! And where the blazes did Ivor get off to?"

((Dodge bonus on Evaneth because I can never remember that blasted thing))
 
((Evaneth gets hit once (critical doesn't confirm) and then attempts to grapple Val. He has Improved Grapple, so there's no Opportunity Attack.

39 vs Touch AC ought to hit.
Opposed Grapple check: 38. I can't remember if Val has a Freedom of Movement item. If he does, then obviously this doesn't work.

Ivor attacks Muun with a crossbow. That's a 29 versus Flat-Footed AC, which is also at a -2 penalty due to invisibility, so I'm pretty sure that hits. Make a DC 25 Fortitude save or take 8 Dexterity damage (and remember the -2 to saves). Muun takes 3 Crossbow damage and 29 Sneak Attack damage.))

Bones, in not even paying attention to the enraged half-orc standing right next to him, succumbs to an unrelenting series of axe strikes and falls into a bloody pool on the ground.

Evaneth decides to try a different strategy after seeing how deftly his last flurry of blows was neutralized, surging forward and attempting to put Val in a bear hug.

Ivor, no longer having a sure shot at Val due to Evaneth trying to grapple him, decides to switch targets and go for Muun instead; the ranger doesn't see it coming and takes a poisonous crossbow bolt to the throat.

********

Asmodeus manages to complete his successful assault on Ulamog, but not before his armies are obliterated, leaving the Eldrazi free to launch a last-ditch counterattack of his own. Asmodeus is throttled by a concentrated burst of energy even as Ulamog falls to the earth and perishes, leaving the God of the Underworld severely weakened.

Emrakul picks up on this immediately. By far the least-damaged of the Eldrazi due to not having to worry about ground-based attacks, he is in a prime position to seize the advantage, and channels as much energy as he can muster into a sustained ripple of destructive force. The prolonged assault is too much for the rest of the gods to bear, and Emrakul takes out the Raven Queen, Asmodeus, Heironeous, and Erythnul in one fell swoop - though this expenditure of energy seems to have weakened Emrakul substantially, as evidenced by the fact that he just shrunk to about half of his previous size.

The gods are dead.

((Begin Round 7))
 
Fortification: 1d20+20=33

Muun immediately pulls the bolt from his throat, and purposefully forces himself to spit up whatever blood starts to enter his throat to make the poison leave his body.

((I want to know if anything can be done about Ivor being invisible before I act.))
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
((Quintus had a plan if I'm not mistaken. Tarkus also has a way to see invisibility, but may have to end his rage to use it.))
 
((You know where Ivor is now since he attacked. He's still invisible though. Only way to stop that is magically.

Tarkus can hit Evaneh just fine. There are normally penalties for ranged-attacking into a grapple, but Muun has the feats to get around that.))
 

Mike M

Nick N
((I'll wait and see if Muun and/or Tarkus can't polish off Evaneth and free Val, Jack will probably go after Ivor pending whatever trick Quintus has up his sleeve for him.))
 
Attack Rolls (I think they hit automatically, but I could still crit) (1d20+24=36, 1d20+24=34, 1d20+19=24, 1d20+14=34)
Crit Confirm (1d20+14=30)
Weapon Damage (including Crit) (1d10+3+4=16, 1d10+3+4=14, 1d10+3+4=16, 1d10+3+4=16, 1d10+3+4=12)
Fire Damage (1d6=3, 1d6=2, 1d6=3, 1d6=5)

Muun quickly fires several shots into Evaneth's back, or at least attempts to, and quickly gazes over the massacre that has befallen the gods, his emotions becoming distraught "They're gone! What about Lucille!? Celia's gone, will Lucille be gone too!?"
 
Quintus cast Glitterdust on Ivor. He is effectively no longer invisible and also takes a -40 on stealth checks. And he can roll Will to not become blinded (DC 20).
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
((I wanted to see what would happen if I bull-rushed a grappling opponent but I think it'd be easier to just push for damage.))

As the catastrophe of the Eldrazi onslaught hits a shocking crescendo, the pounding of his heart in his ears force Tarkus' perspective to remain on the battlefield. Hearing the shouts of the silver haired ranger, he leaves behind the broken and bloody elf and rushes towards the source of struggle.

Reflex vs Grease
1d20+13 → [9,13] = (22)

Barely keeping his footing, he half runs and half slides towards the struggling swashbuckler and monk. Even as his own will begins to resurface, the supernatural rage painfully submerges his conscious once more, intent on pursuing and crushing all remaining threats.

Attack vs Evaneth
1d20+33+4-2 → [8,33,4,-2] = (43)

Damage v Evaneth
1d12+21 → [12,21] = (33)

Holy Damage
2d8 → [6,2] = (8)

Total: 33 (or 41 if hurt by Holy)
 
((Man, I don't know what happened but you guys' damage output skyrocketed these last two rounds. Tarkus just killed Evaneth, so Val is free now))
 

Mike M

Nick N
"Pardon my insensitivity," Val begins as he repeatedly strikes Evaneth in the face with the pommel of his rapier in an effort to escape the mutilated monk's embrace, "but I could give a damn about either Cecilia or Lucille. We have our own self preservation to worry about."

Val's rain of futile blows on Evaneth continues. "Let! Go! Gods! Damn! You!" As the last of the gods falls before the unfathomable eldritch horror of the Eldrazi, however, Val's blows falter as he begins giggling hysterically. "Well, I guess your traitor god wins, Evaneth!" he laughs. "All the gods are dead, there's only little old us to stop the end of existence now!"

Evaneth does not respond, but his grip grows slack and his eyes glass over. A trickle of blood seeps between the stitches in his mouth as he falls to the ground, felled by Muun and Tarkus's combined effort.

"Well then," Val says as he steps back from the corpse, running his hand through his hair as he collects himself, "I guess you lose after all."

Pivoting on his heel, he points out the glittering form of Ivor. "Five against one is poor odds, Ivor. I'd offer to let you surrender, but I fear we need dispatch you so that you cannot stab us in our backs before we are wiped from this plane."

As though on practiced cue, Jack and Val run at Ivor with their swords drawn to attack.

Code:
Jack Attack:  1d20+18=32
Percentage to hit:  26
Damage:  2d6+15=23

Val Attack:  1d20+24=42
Confirming crit, Jesus Christ:  1d20+24=34
Percentage to hit:  49
Damage:  1d6+20=23
Crit damage:  1d6+20=26 + 3 STR damage

((If Jack and Val can flank Ivor, that's another +2 and +4 to attack rolls. Dodge bonus on Ivor.))
 
Ivor, realizing that he's now severely disadvantaged, tumbles away from Val and Jack after enduring a pair of sword strikes. His glittered form runs away as fast as his Slowed dwarven legs can carry him. This happens to be in the direction opposite of the remaining Eldrazi.

Speaking of him, there is suddenly a mammoth explosion directly on top of Emrakul - the largest explosion any of you have ever seen, by a fair margin. The sky is lit up orange as a mushroom-shaped cloud forms and overtakes the rest of the clouds in the sky.

The vast majority of Emrakul's body is obliterated, and in the aftermath, the remaining fragment can be seen careening toward the ground, some small distance ahead of the party's current position.

At the same time, something is hurtling from the site of the blast to the current battleground like a missile, and it crashes hard into the ground very close by.

Closer inspection reveals the object to be Lucille. No longer in her ascended state, the broken and powerless Holy Relics rest impotently on her body; the "tattoo" of Hextor runs off of her face like an uncooked egg.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIqKWLkm2-g

"Muun," she says weakly, "I couldn't finish it. He was too strong. It's up to you now." Then she begins to laugh. "So this is what pain feels like. You know what? It... It hurts." She laughs some more, before consciousness escapes her and the gentle embrace of death envelopes her.

((You guys are out of combat, but if you really want to then you can finish off Nega-Ivor and don't have to roll for it. He is clearly running away and is no longer an immediate threat. Tarkus can also drop his rage. Consider this a short break, where you can heal up and otherwise prepare for the Final Battle.

These guys were clearly decked out in prime equipment, but since we're not going back to town for selling, I'm only listing stuff that may be better than what you're wearing.

4 Cloak of Resistance +5
4 Ring of Protection +5 (Deflection bonus to AC)
1 Full Plate +8
1 Heavy Steel Shield +5
1 Boots of Fire Resistance 10
1 Longsword +5
1 Periapt of Wisdom +8
8 Potions of Cure Serious Wounds (3d8 + 15)
Various poisons that will be useless against the last boss))
 
Muun immediately rushes towards Lucille's side, kneeling down to lift her face to look at her directly. As she speaks Muun can almost feel the same level of pain she does as she fleets from this world, finished with her duty. He forces a smile, an attempt to try and alleviate the pain through encouragement, "You did well, Lucille." He brushes aside a bit of charred hair, "You made a great ranger... The greatest I've ever known."

With her last breath, Muun oddly does not cry... somehow despite all elements that affected him through his journey, in the end he is at the same place he started. He never truly changed. His only emotion is instinct and strength. He gazes towards the rubble among the apocalypse that had just occurred. "I have nothing to live for. Even the closest thing I've ever had to a goddess is now dead.." He closes his eyes briefly, then opens them again, showing an undeniable focus that he has, "But somehow my instincts tell me to continue.. It's not vengeance.. I just feel like continuing on despite no reason to."

((I need to draw something related to this scene now.))
 

Mike M

Nick N
((I suppose Jack can upgrade to the shield and trade his great sword for the long sword since he wouldn't have the hand free. Both Jack and Val would benefit from cloaks of resistance a lot more than cloaks of charisma.))
 
((Thankfully Recitation is only rounds per level, so its gone or will be very soon hopefully. I'm guessing heroism will still be around because its 10 minutes per level, but greater heroism is only minute per level(17 minutes total because Quintus cast it himself), so we might lose that before the next battle.))

Quintus informs the party of their latest magical spoils, and takes two CSW potions for him self, he considers drinking then immediately, but figures Muun has that wand, so he might as well use it and save the potions for later. He also takes a ring of protection +5, leaving the rest for his companions.

"Man, why is everyone from Ravenloft such a downer. Nothing to live for? What about us? What about all of reality? Which we are about to save, by taking out this asshole who just defeated several gods. We are going to be famous! Besides, I noticed a few gods missing from the battle. Once we are done here, I bet we can go to Sigil and find a cleric who can give you your princess back. Hell with the right spell... I think I might be able to do it myself now."
 
((Greater Heroism will be gone before you guys make it to the next battle. 17 minutes isn't enough time to cover all of this. But yea, regular Heroism is fine to stick around))
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
It is only after sinking his axe into the retreating dwarf's skull and feeling the rogue twitch in his final moments, that Tarkus awakens from his crimson nightmare. Fully conscious again, he takes several gasping breathes as if surfacing from a great body of water. His heartbeat has slowed to a dull thud as he feels his many open wounds begin to clot. Coming down from his adrenaline high, he coughs, spitting blood onto his armor, its weight heavier and more taxing than ever.

He wordlessly looks down at his shaking hands, noting they are significantly more bloodstained than he remembers them being. Something inside of him desires to jump deep into a river, crawl into a dense forest or sink deep beneath the earth and sleep until he has become something else. But there are still miles to go before he can sleep.

Shaking the bits of bone and gore from his axe, Tarkus painfully drags himself back towards the others as a star falls from the sky and crashes in front of their group. He silently watches Muun say farewell to Lucille. The dark purple half-circles underneath the half-orc's eyes grow heavier as her spirit leaves the world and the ranger's bitter lament settles on his shoulders.

Music

The half-orc is silent for some time, struggling to find his words. He looks at the ranger and bile begins to sting his throat as he thinks of how unfair things have been. "Even when Ravenloft was saved, this world stole our lives. And even after we survived death itself, this existence steals your chance for happiness in Celia and...Lucille."

"And what of Sarm and Suvne? Their sacrifice wasted...or Evaneth, lost to darkness? Even Avalyra is gone..." The warrior begins to shake his head, his fists clinched tightly, the vein in his forehead bulging in renewed anger. "This world is cruel. An insult...what selfish greed it have, to rest destiny on our shoulders to save it when it has been so unfair to us all!" He throws his axe to the ground.

Caught in his dark thoughts, Quintus effortless solution and bravado catches him off-guard. Tarkus stares at the red-headed mage with an stunned look on his face before bursting out incredulous laughter that devolves into a fit of coughing. Quieting, he thinks about how crazy and miraculous this life can be, that even in the face of utter loss and the death of existence itself...there is always that spark of possibility and hope.

Quintus words bring him out of his shell, and remind him why he is here in the first place. Tarkus nods at Quintus "You should know it, Archmage. Foreseen with your magics and arcane knowledge."

He steps forward to punches Val lightly in the arm. "And you, Master thief, I wished to throttle when you were still Kaff, but doubt your dexterity and cunning would of allow me to."

"Never thought would become friend to living armor...or that it would show more heart than many that have one" he says, rapping against Jack's chassis with his knuckles.

"And you, outworld ranger. You find me even in the afterlife, saving me from things I dare not share to any other living soul. You fight with precision and power of a great warrior of legend." Tarkus rests his arm on Muun's shoulder before stepping back.

"I only know how to fight...but in journey with you all, I found my voice. And learn to speak my heart to others." He swallows before continuing. "So these are my words for us and only us." The half-orc retrieves his axe and draws five lines in the dirt with its hilt, around which he draws a line that surrounds them in a circle.

"These us. And whatever force it be that brought us together. We have all been through much. Us, Wormwood Initiates or Relic Hunters or Chosen Ones." He grunts at the ridiculous sounding names. "We never speak much of ourselves by name. Yet we remain together, sacrificing for each other." Tarkus eyes glass over and as he takes a deep breath and pounds his chest.

"I consider brothers of you all. I care no longer where destiny drives me...But if serving it comes with fighting for the lives of my brothers, I will serve it gladly and fight with you once more. To whatever end."

((Tarkus will don the boots if no one else wants them. Also since his rage is ended, Tarkus is at 30hp. And thanks for role-playing in this fantasy game with me guys, it's all for fun but it's meant a lot to me.))
 
Muun turns over to look at Quintis, and bluntly corrects him, "I said I had nothing to live for. Saving this world is something to die for... And I suppose you're right, it's easy to forget how powerful healing magic can be..."

He holds up his wand and walks up to Tarkus, "I never had a real family. I never even knew my parents. All I know is that they're probably conceiving me as we speak... I would be proud to have you as a brother."

((Can I just assume that the wand heals everyone to full? The actual charges being used were never kept tracked of.))

((Also, I want to ditch the now useless Ring of Blinking and replace it with a working Ring of Protection))
 
Now that Tarkus mentions it, there is no sign of either Avalyra or her mysterious, necromantically-empowered doppelganger from an alternate universe. There's hardly even a sign that there was another battle nearby. Maybe the two of them teleported away early on into their fight; for now there's no way to know.

((Re: Muun about the healing wand: Yeah that's fine. Let's just say there are 10 charges remaining after all the healing is completed. Everyone got beaten up pretty badly that battle.

And thanks, Jackben. I'll have my own words for everyone when this thing is over, but for now... your sentiment is not lost on me))
 

Mike M

Nick N
As Lucille expires, Jack sheathes his sword in his own fashion, the telescoping and folding pieces of metal collapsing upon itself until it becomes indistinguishable from the rest of the android’s back. He heaves up the heavy steel shield and longsword wielded by the twisted incarnation of Suvne and stands ready to do battle.

“What are you doing, Jack?” Val asks, his rapier dangling in his fingertips. Gesturing over the deceased vessel of Heironeous’s power, he says, “It’s over. We’ve lost. The gods made their gambit and failed.”

“Because of their efforts, I calculate that our odds of success have improved,” Jack informs everyone. “We now stand a zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero—“

“Jack, what kind of odds are those?” Val’s voice is tired and distant, his face smeared with blood and dirt as he gazes toward the writhing tentacles of the toppled Eldrazi reaching skyward to pull the heavens down and consume them.

Jack follows Val’s gaze for a moment before looking back at him. “If we do nothing, our odds of success are zero. A minimal chance of success is greater than nothing, and is therefore preferable. I would rather cease operation in the pursuit of the outlier outcome that we might succeed than in surrender because the probability is unfavorable.” The mechanical man extends his hand towards Val, a gesture that strikes Val as surprisingly human, the cumulative effort of the mechanical man’s quest to be a real person. “If you assist me, you will lend a marginal improvement to our shared chances of survival.”

Val turns his back on his android companion and kneels on the ground over the corpses of the funhouse mirror versions of their fallen friends. Rising, he thrusts one of the cloaks into Jack’s waiting hand. “Here,” Val grumbles as he undoes his own cloak. “These will be of more help than what we’re currently wearing. Though perhaps less useful for seducing women for a dance between the sheets.”

Jack stares blankly at Val. “I do not possess the capacity for procreation.”

“Jack,” Val says, clasping his futuristic follower on the shoulder, “I think in some small way I’m really going to miss you and your… Oddness.”

After listening to Tarkus’s heartening words and helping himself to the healing balm of Muun’s “happy stick,” Val begins the final march across the blighted and desolated earth that was once a forest towards the remains of the final Eldrazi. “Well, let’s go do this then,” he says as he attempts to clean his blade with the hem of his cloak. “On the upside, when I die again I suspect I will not have to worry quite so much about all the angry gods waiting have a very uncomfortable chat with me about how I stole all their things.”

((Jack and Val are turning off their Rings of Blinking because I’m pretty sure they’re useless against this next boss. We’ve already got Rings of Protection +5 anyway. Val has 62 Potions of Cure Serious Wounds. 27K gold + House discount in Alydar buys a lot of potions. Everyone take 10! Unless Lunarian wants to rule that Alydar didn’t stock that many potions, ‘cause… damn, that’s a lot of potions.

Let’s put an end to this, I’ve got Val’s epilogue locked and loaded : D))
 
The March Toward Destiny

As everyone prepares for the final battle, the emotional landscape is as varied and unfamiliar as the terrain itself. Quintus is hopeful; Val is full of despair; Tarkus is content; Muun is solemn; Jack is, as ever, curious.

Likewise, the land is, to put it mildly, disparate. Now that the party has a chance to pay attention, they realize that the effects of the Eldrazi/Astral Sea battle were absolutely devastating to the environment. There are no trees to be found anywhere; plant life in general has either disappeared, or become warped and mutated beyond recognition. A fine coat of dust seems to cover everything, and it gets thicker and thicker as the party continues on. After a fashion, someone realizes that this must be the remains of the armies that were routed by the Eldrazi menace.

The reality-warping effects of the creatures are only magnified as the march goes on. Half a tin can sits suspended in midair, spinning continuously despite a lack of propulsion. A blacksmith's furnace can be seen high in the sky, slowly rising higher into the atmosphere. A cross-section of a cat appears to be embedded in a wayward tree trunk, also hovering in the air.

In short, things are weird, and getting weirder.

Finally the remains of the mightiest Eldrazi come into view. It appears to be the very top portion of what used to be the entire creature, which could explain why it's still alive; its brain may be contained within.

It's true that it's a very small fraction of the original size of the creature. Even that offers small comfort, as that fraction appears to be roughly the size of an entire city block.

Emrakul has already begun work on situating itself. It seems to have grown a number of tentacles that are already firmly entrenched under the ground, and a spaced-out network of tentacle ends wriggles from the ground. They are not yet mobile, and can be avoided relatively easily by the party, which means the path toward their primary target is clear.

Already they can feel Emrakul's presence in their mind, body, and soul. Unfazed, they press on, and come face-to-face (so to speak) with the beast.

Fighting God

((You are all standing in a row or a group, and you can start adjacent to it if you want. So far, it has not offered any resistance.

No need to roll initiative. Take your turn. And make sure to listen to that song I just linked to. I hadn't listened to it in years before now, and it's awesome))
 
Quintus has no idea if conventional weapons will do anything to this... thing, but if so, he figures his friends should do as much damage as possible, as quickly as possible. He also hopes this thing didn't prepare a counter for haste, as he waves a hand, granting super natural speed to his allies.

((I knew preparing haste twice today would come in handy.
...No cloaks of resistance +5 are left, right?))
 

Mike M

Nick N
Quintus has no idea if conventional weapons will do anything to this... thing, but if so, he figures his friends should do as much damage as possible, as quickly as possible. He also hopes this thing didn't prepare a counter for haste, as he waves a hand, granting super natural speed to his allies.

((I knew preparing haste twice today would come in handy.
...No cloaks of resistance +5 are left, right?))

((There were four total, Jack and Val took two. I could swear someone else already got one before we left Alydar? Muun?))
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
((What is...it? Just a rooted version of this?))

Tarkus eyes the twisted and writhing purple appendages with confusion and disgust. As they move closer he can feel Emrakul's presence in his core. "Em, ra, kul. Your brothers are gone. And now we come for you, at the end of all things." He pulls Perun from its harness and wields the stained greataxe before him.

"Let it be finished!"
 

Mike M

Nick N
"The anatomy does not conform to any known configurations in my database," Jack informs Val. "This is promising."

Val cocks an eyebrow and turns his head toward the android. "Is that sarcasm? You've picked a bizarre time to become a real boy, Jack."

"It is promising," Jack explains, "in that it has an anatomy at all. That indicates that it conforms to some constants intrinsic to our own universe. If it has an anatomy, it stands to reason that it is for the purpose of sustaining life. It follows that if it is alive, then therefore it may be killed."

Val turns toward the massive mound of otherworldly biological matter and its rapidly growing forest of tentacles. "So then. Kill it until it dies. Sounds simple enough." Val looks at his own slender blade, singularly designed for inflicting damage to organs and various vital systems as opposed to hacking flesh apart wholesale. In short, it's exactly the sort of weapon Jack is prescribing, only orders of magnitude too small for the task.

((Sooooo... ideas? Jack/Tarkus/Val full frontal assault, with Quintus and Muun on backup?))
 

Jackben

bitch I'm taking calls.
((Roger. Hack and slash seems the best shot we have until we find out what it's capable of.))

His shouts of challenge having gone unheeded by the writhing tentacles burrowing through the dirt and the coral red webbing meshed into the terrain, Tarkus spits onto the ground.

"I conclude it is ugly." He turns to the swashbuckler and well-armed automaton. "Jack, Valgar. Let us sever the cords." Waiting for an opportune moment, Tarkus suddenly leaps five feet forward, unleashing three savage blows against one of the purple tentacles as it surfaces from the soil.

Full Attack vs Ugly Purple Tentacle Thing (of Emrakul)
1d20+31 → [16,31,+1] = (48)
1d20+31 → [9,31,-5,+1] = (36)
1d20+31 → [18,31,-10,+1] = (40)
Haste Attack:
1d20+31+1 → [10,31,1] = (42)

Damage
1d12+20 → [5,18] = (23)
1d12+20 → [8,18] = (26)
1d12+20 → [7,18] = (25)
Haste Attack Damage:
1d12+18 → [12,18] = (30)
=104

Holy Damage:
2d6 → [1,3] = (4)
2d6 → [4,3] = (7)
2d6 → [3,4] = (7)
Haste: 2d6 → [4,6] = (10)
=28
 

Mike M

Nick N
((Don't forget we're hasted. Also, Val chugged a Heroic Potion between the Vecna and Six Fiend fight, and that's still in effect, correct? And I'm guessing there's no flanking bonus since there's no real way to flank it.))
 
((The creature is definitely getting damaged. Tarkus's weapon cut into it pretty good. Hard to tell whether there's any damage reduction going on because this thing is so alien, but without question it is getting hurt. Also, all four attacks hit the AC threshold.

Heroic potion is still in effect. Flanking this thing is impossible due to its size.

The Holy ability doesn't seem to be triggering on Emrakul though. It's not evil. So no need to roll that from here on))
 
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