Terrible doesn't begin to describe the time you lost and what you had to deal with OP. I also had an abusive childhood. In many ways I was able to brush it off because I didn't realize how messed up it was until I talked to other people and they would look at me funny because of something I did or said.
It's great you're working to cope, therapy, friends and finding joy in non destructive ways is the best thing you can do for yourself (easier said than done I know)
Time and perspective are great things. I don't think you realise till after how important it is in fact.
Also thank you guys for the kind words and support Gaf has been the fucking GOAT for me the past year since I joined. You know what it was scary typing out that paragraph in the OP. It felt wrong like it needed to be pushed down far as possible like I've been doing all this time and outwardly projecting it onto myself with the self harm. But it feels good having said it, well typed it. Its not keeping me prisoner anymore, cliched as that sounds.
I don't know if I'm a good person. I feel like I'm discovering my personality. As in, I don't have to put up with people just cos I'm desperate and I'm not a cash machine and I'm not awful or poisonous, I'm just me. Don't know what that is yet, but we'll see.
It is helpful. I absolutely agree. You become so used to something, it becomes normal, even when its clear afterwards like, now, it isn't. And its really taken me a long time to get here and its really scary to consider the idea that maybe it wasn't my fault and maybe he was just evil and would have taken it out on anyone.
And squirtle man. Did you see pokemon origins he fucked up that charmander.
I had batteries for my gameboy advance. They didn't always last long. But enough to play through firered like 15 times. I used to just play through it, then restart and play it again.
Time and perspective are great things. I don't think you realise till after how important it is in fact.
Also thank you guys for the kind words and support Gaf has been the fucking GOAT for me the past year since I joined. You know what it was scary typing out that paragraph in the OP. It felt wrong like it needed to be pushed down far as possible like I've been doing all this time and outwardly projecting it onto myself with the self harm. But it feels good having said it, well typed it. Its not keeping me prisoner anymore, cliched as that sounds.
I don't know if I'm a good person. I feel like I'm discovering my personality. As in, I don't have to put up with people just cos I'm desperate and I'm not a cash machine and I'm not awful or poisonous, I'm just me. Don't know what that is yet, but we'll see.
february, to november
Well yes, very much so. Thats what has turned me against religion. Priests (a specific priest, rather) when I told him at least, a part of what had happened to me, said 'it was all part of gods plan'
OP you need to learn how to write stories better, attempting to read that gave me a headache, way too many diversions and going off on tangents that have no significance etc.
Anyways my condolences, I hope shed life wasn't too rough on you.
Seriously?OP you need to learn how to write stories better, attempting to read that gave me a headache, way too many diversions and going off on tangents that have no significance etc.
Anyways my condolences, I hope shed life wasn't too rough on you.
Seriously?
OP you need to learn how to write stories better, attempting to read that gave me a headache, way too many diversions and going off on tangents that have no significance etc.
Anyways my condolences, I hope shed life wasn't too rough on you.
Seriously what? That story had way too many insignificant details like what the shed was made of, timeline of pots and bags of soil instead of talking about why his mum and siblings weren't helping him the whole time his dad was locking him in a shed for 9 months! This is something out of a horror story and not really something someone would go on a video gaming forum to vent about. If one of my sisters were locked in a shed I would go get them out, I don't care what the consequences are, so there are so many missing details about important stuff but instead I'm getting details like Pokemon Gold and silver etc? Were you playing video games in there the whole time? Why were you being singled out from your brothers and sisters?
You are being ridiculous.Seriously what? That story had way too many insignificant details like what the shed was made of, timeline of pots and bags of soil instead of talking about why his mum and siblings weren't helping him the whole time his dad was locking him in a shed for 9 months! This is something out of a horror story and not really something someone would go on a video gaming forum to vent about. If one of my sisters were locked in a shed I would go get them out, I don't care what the consequences are, so there are so many missing details about important stuff but instead I'm getting details like Pokemon Gold and silver etc? Were you playing video games in there the whole time? Why were you being singled out from your brothers and sisters?
I'm so sorry OP talking about his feelings in a way he's comfortable with has inconvenienced you so much, Master Snaggle. I'll make sure we all run our OPs by you before posting.Seriously what? That story had way too many insignificant details like what the shed was made of, timeline of pots and bags of soil instead of talking about why his mum and siblings weren't helping him the whole time his dad was locking him in a shed for 9 months! This is something out of a horror story and not really something someone would go on a video gaming forum to vent about. If one of my sisters were locked in a shed I would go get them out, I don't care what the consequences are, so there are so many missing details about important stuff but instead I'm getting details like Pokemon Gold and silver etc? Were you playing video games in there the whole time? Why were you being singled out from your brothers and sisters?
*rude nitpicking*
Seriously what? That story had way too many insignificant details like what the shed was made of, timeline of pots and bags of soil instead of talking about why his mum and siblings weren't helping him the whole time his dad was locking him in a shed for 9 months! This is something out of a horror story and not really something someone would go on a video gaming forum to vent about. If one of my sisters were locked in a shed I would go get them out, I don't care what the consequences are, so there are so many missing details about important stuff but instead I'm getting details like Pokemon Gold and silver etc? Were you playing video games in there the whole time? Why were you being singled out from your brothers and sisters?
He's recalling memories from a traumatic experience, not some creative writing experiment you doofus. Some details you're asking for he won't answer because maybe he genuinely doesn't know or uncomfortable or can't say. I'm sure he wants to know why his mum and siblings let this happen too if he doesn't. It was probably fear if he was locking his child in a fucking metal shed.Seriously what? That story had way too many insignificant details like what the shed was made of, timeline of pots and bags of soil instead of talking about why his mum and siblings weren't helping him the whole time his dad was locking him in a shed for 9 months! This is something out of a horror story and not really something someone would go on a video gaming forum to vent about. If one of my sisters were locked in a shed I would go get them out, I don't care what the consequences are, so there are so many missing details about important stuff but instead I'm getting details like Pokemon Gold and silver etc? Were you playing video games in there the whole time? Why were you being singled out from your brothers and sisters?
From my own abuse experiences, I can say that I will never be quite the same as those around me, and my level of emphathy is lower than most humans. That does not make me a "bad person", however. It's great that you were able to open up about what has happened to you - may you continue your recovery.Time and perspective are great things. I don't think you realise till after how important it is in fact.
Also thank you guys for the kind words and support Gaf has been the fucking GOAT for me the past year since I joined. You know what it was scary typing out that paragraph in the OP. It felt wrong like it needed to be pushed down far as possible like I've been doing all this time and outwardly projecting it onto myself with the self harm. But it feels good having said it, well typed it. Its not keeping me prisoner anymore, cliched as that sounds.
I don't know if I'm a good person. I feel like I'm discovering my personality. As in, I don't have to put up with people just cos I'm desperate and I'm not a cash machine and I'm not awful or poisonous, I'm just me. Don't know what that is yet, but we'll see.
He's recalling memories from a traumatic experience, not some creative writing experiment you doofus. Some details you're asking for he won't answer because maybe he genuinely doesn't know or uncomfortable or can't say. I'm sure he wants to know why his mum and siblings let this happen too if he doesn't. It was probably fear if he was locking his child in a fucking metal shed.
Hey man you don't need to start calling me names, I wasn't insulting OP just saying it was a weird way of telling the story.
So it's ok for everybody to insult me now? Is that how this works?
...Holy fucking shit.i found out exactly how long i spent in there. the longest at one time i spent was from my birthday in 2005 which is february, to november that same year.
Have you seen OP's other threads like the adopted cats etc? This thread just seems to have come out of leftfield when he seems like such a happy guy. I'm sorry about being insensitive OP, it's pretty crap what happened to you but would love to hear some more details about how this was allowed to happen? Maybe it can help us all prevent it in future for other people that might be vulnerable or look for tell tale signs of someone being abused right under our noses.
No, but you're being an insensitive asshole and you're damn well going to get called out for it.
The thing is when you are in these situations there are certain things that stand out in your mind. Like him using Pokemon as time posts that helps him remember somewhat the time frame of when this happened. Or the way the shed looked smelled or what was in it. These are the point of view that he's remembering and trying to get it through to us.
People are saying it's highly insensitive to point out how someone writes about a highly sensitive subject. Who cares how he wrote his story. He wrote it... To us. And we should be touched and honored to read this story from a fellow gaffer. Have respect