I get what you mean and we're not going to agree on this but here's where I stand:
They are good movies. They are called Spider-Man. They are good Spider-Man movies.
And they are the default version of the character for millions of people around the world. And if some of these people looked at the comics, they might say: "that's not how the real Spider-Man would act!" Which is why I don't care about such things when it comes to characters that have been around for decades. Looking for consistency is useless. Nolan's Batman is different from current comic Batman who is different from 60s Batman who was wildly different from 39 Batman. But they're all valid interpretations of the concept.
And for what it's worth, Raimi's Spider-Man perfectly embodied the essence of the 70s Spider-Man reprints I used to read as a kid. So they are a faithful adaptation from my point of view. But even then, I love Man of Steel and that depiction of Superman is wildly different from the Superman I like in the comics. I still consider it to be a Superman film.
Anyway, the internet would be a much happier place if comic-book fans could realize that their version of a particular character is not the one and only.
Nolan's Batman still maintains the essence of the Batman and Bruce Wayne character though. And that's where my problem has come from the portrayals of Peter and MJ in these movies. The Man of Steel movie, one of my favorites. The Superman is different but I believed you could see the formation of his core ideals there, a consistency. With these characters, regardless of what is happening, they maintain some form of consistency. Red Son Superman still has the same ideals and traits, Ultimate Peter Parker, Ultimate Reed Richards, and so on amd so forth. My version of Spider-Man has been around forever, just never accurately portrayed in a movie to me. His core character traits such as putting the world on his shoulders, being a damn near genius, being a dude with no confidemce who fails upward in his personal life, has supreme confidence as Spider-Man, being a pest as Spider-Man, being so fucking serious all the same, that's been around forever.
That's all. So again, the Raimi joints? Fine movies. Good even. But they ain't good Spider-Man portrayals.