Support NeoGAF

[scotcheggz]

Is it there any good guides on how to properly use ropes and make decent knots and forms? My friend has been wanting to try out being tied up but I have no experience with it (other than being on the receiving end, that is). And my knot skills are terrible, can't even tie a shoelace that lasts more than half a day
She also wants to try the Shibari kind of bondage down the line but those look so dauntilingly complicated.

You can google search Shibari (copy paste: しば&#12426 on Google.co.jp and learn a lot about the types of knots Etc. from the illustrations, it's nothing cement but it can give you an idea. You can practice on your own ankles too. You'll want at least 2x ten foot ropes. You can usually buy soft cotton or silk ropes died all sorts of colours pretty cheaply from most sex shops (at least here in the UK). Cotton is supposedly better than silk, I think I read somewhere silk can have complications. Jute and hemp are proper, but both have some downsides, price and in one of those two, you have to prep the rope properly iirc. Mine are just inexpensive black cotton.

You could try looking up workshops too, I went to a 3 day workshop in London which was great fun and not expensive.

The knots and patterns look complicated but in reality they're not that hard. A simple way to start is tying cuffs then using the rest of the rope to tie the arms together, behind the back, ends go over the shoulders, fancy it up across the chest and tie the two lose ends after that to his/her ankles. It's easy, looks good to start and will definitely make your partner immobile. Use a blindfold if you're worried about fumbling about, it plays into the fantasy for a lot of people and you can relax a bit those first couple of goes.

Had some pretty funky times with a couple of ropes honestly, definitely recommend.

Edit: one thing to watch is circulation. Not so much in the tightness of the ropes, but they'll be in one position for a long time, when you untie them it's best to do it slowly and allow her to relax back into natural positions, so you might have to be quite gentle.

 

[Hylian7]

So, there's a topic I kind of want to bring up in here, however I'm not 100% sure the topic will be welcome here. Should I just say fuck it and post it anyway or PM someone here first to get their opinion on it?

 

[scotcheggz]

So, there's a topic I kind of want to bring up in here, however I'm not 100% sure the topic will be welcome here. Should I just say fuck it and post it anyway or PM someone here first to get their opinion on it?

Fuck it man, I'm sure it's alright

 

[freenudemacusers]

When procuring a paddle, should it be calf, lamb or wood?

Asking for a friend ofc

 

[Hylian7]

Alright, here it goes: Rape scenes/fantasies

My girlfriend suggested it a long time ago, I wasn't really gunning for it myself, but I decided "Why the hell not". Turned out I enjoyed it immensely, and she enjoyed it even more.

The first time we did it we agreed to do it one night when she came home from work, I would hide somewhere in the apartment and grab her and go from there.

We've done more and more variations on it since then, including a "date rape" scenario (no, not with any kind of drugs involved).

We go further and further with these things and we both enjoy the hell out of it. She even likes to make it more "realistic" by having fake tears afterward.

This is all consensual of course, but I'm curious if I'm alone in this here.

Again, if this is not a welcome topic here, I will edit all this out.

 

[scotcheggz]

When procuring a paddle, should it be calf, lamb or wood?

Asking for a friend ofc

Not much of an expert in paddles, but I think the consensus is leather is gonna sting more than wood, wood is gonna thud more than leather. I've only really ever used a tussle whip.

By the way, just wanna say that I love that we have a BDSM thread.

 

[scotcheggz]

Alright, here it goes: Rape scenes/fantasies

My girlfriend suggested it a long time ago, I wasn't really gunning for it myself, but I decided "Why the hell not". Turned out I enjoyed it immensely, and she enjoyed it even more.

The first time we did it we agreed to do it one night when she came home from work, I would hide somewhere in the apartment and grab her and go from there.

We've done more and more variations on it since then, including a "date rape" scenario (no, not with any kind of drugs involved).

We go further and further with these things and we both enjoy the hell out of it. She even likes to make it more "realistic" by having fake tears afterward.

This is all consensual of course, but I'm curious if I'm alone in this here.

Again, if this is not a welcome topic here, I will edit all this out.

It's not my thing, but my ex was big into this. The furthest I would push it was to force her head into the pillow etc. but yeh, not my thing, I'm alright with domination and force, but it's the aggression that I can't get into. She would ask me to call her pretty brutal names and actually asked me to full fist punch her but I said I wasn't cool with it and she was fine with my limits.

As a story for you, I knew of a couple that used to play out this kinda vibe by him tying her up, driving to the woods near my city and tying her to a tree. A sort of kidnap/rape roleplay. Dunno too many more details than that however.

 

[Hylian7]

It's not my thing, but my ex was big into this. The furthest I would push it was to force her head into the pillow etc. but yeh, not my thing, I'm alright with domination and force, but it's the aggression that I can't get into. She would ask me to call her pretty brutal names and actually asked me to full fist punch her but I said I wasn't cool with it and she was fine with my limits.

As a story for you, I knew of a couple that used to play out this kinda vibe by him tying her up, driving to the woods near my city and tying her to a tree. A sort of kidnap/rape roleplay. Dunno too many more details than that however.

The weird thing to me is that I'm able to completely seperate these things in my head with no problem whatsoever.

I'm calling her a filthy bitch and slapping her in the face and then an hour later we are snuggling.

 

[scotcheggz]

The weird thing to me is that I'm able to completely seperate these things in my head with no problem whatsoever.

I'm calling her a filthy bitch and slapping her in the face and then an hour later we are snuggling.

Totally man, I fully believe people can do that, I'm not judging at all. Just for me I can't get into it. I think my kink as a Dom and a sub is more down the road of the slow build, torturous route.

 

[InfiniteBento]

Alright, here it goes: Rape scenes/fantasies

My girlfriend suggested it a long time ago, I wasn't really gunning for it myself, but I decided "Why the hell not". Turned out I enjoyed it immensely, and she enjoyed it even more.

The first time we did it we agreed to do it one night when she came home from work, I would hide somewhere in the apartment and grab her and go from there.

We've done more and more variations on it since then, including a "date rape" scenario (no, not with any kind of drugs involved).

We go further and further with these things and we both enjoy the hell out of it. She even likes to make it more "realistic" by having fake tears afterward.

This is all consensual of course, but I'm curious if I'm alone in this here.

Again, if this is not a welcome topic here, I will edit all this out.

I'm not big on the crying after part but I enjoy excessive force immensely. Major turn on for me and the addition of toys makes it even better. Don't ask me, just take me. Yes please.

When procuring a paddle, should it be calf, lamb or wood?

Asking for a friend ofc

I prefer the sting of leather personally.

 

[Hylian7]

Good to hear that topic is acceptable here. She even surprises herself that she likes this kind of thing, because she never thought she would before we met. Rape play is indeed awesome and I was actually surprised the first time I tried it that I like it as much as I do. She was already 95% sure she would like it before the first time we tried it, and she was right.

 

[freenudemacusers]

hmm, think i'll be going leather. kiki dm here i come 😷💅👏

 

[Frozenprince]

Anybody here have experience with blood play?

 

[Hylian7]

I'm not sure if it's what she's thinking, but I can tell you that I was somewhat hesitant at first to admit to liking "rape" fantasy.. and sometimes, I still am, because I'm afraid it will only re-enforce a really dangerous mindset that some men seem to have about women that "secretly want it."

Sometimes I still worry that me liking rapeplay will only lead to other people using it as justification for their misogyny and rape. /shiver



Not me... I can't do it, it scares me way too much.

I actually had the same hesitation about it, except more along the lines of "I'm exactly what I don't want to be." but yet I'm able to completely seperate rape fantasy scenes from everything else in my head. I don't really know how I do it, I just do. She's actually impressed that I'm able to do it so well.

 

[Frozenprince]

Man I need to go to sleep.

Really I'm glad your first experiences went well. Just keep doing things the safe way.

 

[InfiniteBento]

Anybody here have experience with blood play?

I've been asked to try this once with an ex. I couldn't bring myself to do it. The thought of purposely being cut is a solid NOPE.

 

[Frozenprince]

I'v always enjoyed it but that's because to me it's less of a sexual thing and more of a spiritual connection on an intimate level.

Then again I'm basically a walking example of when BDSM/ D/s goes wrong so I wouldn't take advice from me.

Most people tend to have that squicked out reaction. And it's fully understandable, just figured I'd pop in and ask around anyways.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

Anybody here have experience with blood play?

Hehe I'm super squeamish about blood so it's been an instant boner-killer for me in the past.

I'm not sure if it's what she's thinking, but I can tell you that I was somewhat hesitant at first to admit to liking "rape" fantasy.. and sometimes, I still am, because I'm afraid it will only re-enforce a really dangerous mindset that some men seem to have about women that "secretly want it."

Sometimes I still worry that me liking rapeplay will only lead to other people using it as justification for their misogyny and rape. /shiver

Yeah this is hard for me as well, some people really do misconstrue the appeal behind rape play or excessive force. It's not like I actively want to rape someone or be raped. It's just very sexy to have that level of trust in someone and to share that experience that you really can't have with someone you're just casually playing with.

 

[Hylian7]

Yeah this is hard for me as well, some people really do misconstrue the appeal behind rape play or excessive force. It's not like I actively want to rape someone or be raped. It's just very sexy to have that level of trust in someone and to share that experience that you really can't have with someone you're just casually playing with.

Basically this. We use the whole thing of "she secretly wants it" during the scenarios, but it's still super easy to separate it in my head what the difference is between that and everything else.

 

[Frozenprince]

People have a hard time separating the intimate acts from the dark aspects they connotate.

It's why I have only had one real partner I'v discussed blood play with, most people just think I'm a sociopath for wanting/enjoying it when it's not about the pain or the blood at all really.

 

[RELIGHT]

Not gonna lie, been lurking this thread for quite some time when my normal resources couldn't finish me.

 

[UselessNapkin]

The last time I did needle play, my play partner made a hand print turkey on my stomach with my blood. :3

 

[Frozenprince]

Do you mind sharing?

I don't want to get into details (I'm 100% sure he still googles my name and all my user name variations to stalk me and ruin my life) but I spent way too long in a manipulative and abusive power exchange relationship where I enabled a lot of bad things, then ended up in another one where I did the same thing because I am stupid.

If you really wanna know I'd talk about it in PM's or something but, it's mostly just the three year saga of me being an idiot.

 

[Hylian7]

I don't want to get into details (I'm 100% sure he still googles my name and all my user name variations to stalk me and ruin my life) but I spent way too long in a manipulative and abusive power exchange relationship where I enabled a lot of bad things, then ended up in another one where I did the same thing because I am stupid.

If you really wanna know I'd talk about it in PM's or something but, it's mostly just the three year saga of me being an idiot.

If you're being abused, you are NEVER an idiot for being an victim. I don't care if you "enable" it by having any kind of TPE relationship, it doesn't matter. Abuse is never part of it. You are not an idiot, don't feel that way about yourself.

 

[Frozenprince]

If you're being abused, you are NEVER an idiot for being an victim. I don't care if you "enable" it by having any kind of TPE relationship, it doesn't matter. Abuse is never part of it. You are not an idiot, don't feel that way about yourself.

I try not too, but you get broken down that bad you just have good and bad days, ya know?

I'm making myself feel better with alcohol and terrible pop music. Like a healthy person!

 

[Sai-kun]

I try not too, but you get broken down that bad you just have good and bad days, ya know?

I'm making myself feel better with alcohol and terrible pop music. Like a healthy person!

are you me?!?! <3

 

[Frozenprince]

are you me?!?! <3

I don't know! Quick lets do a prince and the pauper and take each others lives. That'll solve it.

 

[krypt0nian]

Found a book called Different Loving - The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission.

Any thoughts? Recommends?

 

[esms]

GF loved the cuffs. Thanks for suggestions, guys.

This leads me to my next inquiry. She's interested in waterproof cuffs (big into shower stuff). What would be the best bet for cuffs like that?

 

[Pai Pai Master]

Speaking of music, do any of y'all play music during scenes?

I don't, but there are a few songs that put me in a really submissive mindset.

In particular, this one: Dissolved Girl - Massive Attack

A lot of portishead and bjork when I'm getting messed with

 

[Sai-kun]

GF loved the cuffs. Thanks for suggestions, guys.

This leads me to my next inquiry. She's interested in waterproof cuffs (big into shower stuff). What would be the best bet for cuffs like that?

ooooh i'm interested in this as well.

 

[Darksol]

For shower sex you should always make sure you invest in some heavy duty suction grip handles.

Kinky shower sex is fun, but not cracking your head open is even more fun

 

[neorej]

Thought I'd return and share our experience from the other day. It was really great. We agreed on two safewords, one where the games would stop entirely, and one where an assignment would be too much out of line for her, but she'd want the games to continue. She completely surrendered her body to my will, and she did everything I demanded. She's kind of shy, so when I told her to take the drive home wearing nothing but her lingerie, boots and wintercoat, she hesitated, she even said no, but I pushed through and she went along with it.

After she came home, I had the cuffs, ties and rope laid out and she immediatly knew the game wasn't done yet. We had a great evening and night, and the next morning we talked about the experience. She was particularly turned on by being coerced into driving home semi-naked, being dominated like that made her "oozing with excitement" (her words). Getting tied down, whipped, spanked and electro'd was an extremely pleasant bonus at that point. It's definitely something we'll do again.

 

[maquiladora]

This thread...is hot.

That is all.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

Awesome neorej, so glad you two had a good experience.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

tea or ice cream, cuddling and cartoons. or a shower and a hot bath.

regular ass vanilla sex is also good after a really intense play session, particularly if I was on the receiving end

 

[Darksol]

Aftercare for us, particularly after consensual non-consent, almost feels like part of the scene as well. My sub wants forced aftercare even though in the moment she may seem reticent.

Cuddles, watching a movie, going for a walk, another round of sex, going out for a bite to eat -- all are pretty common after a scene.

 

[oktarb]

New to the thread. Hi everyone. Me and my girl live in the Sf area. Great area for this fetish/way of life. Just made this last weekend for an addition to our collection.



You can clip clasps to various points. Core is bamboo.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

DAMMIT.

I wish my current gf was into it. I need a good paddlin'

Edit: whoof @ that link

 

[InfiniteBento]

Bubble baths and sweets after a long session is god tier.

I'm preparing to be away from my love for the next 5 months since I'm moving to attend school

I must stock up on toys and new underwear for future photos and online escapades ;A;

Anyone wanna recommend me some cute toy sites?

 

[esms]

Can I be a wet blanket and just emphasize staying safe in these situations?

Water makes for really slippery, sometimes really dangerous movements... and even if it's a matter of tying someone/restraining someone near water, gotta be careful about breathing and stuff.

I wanna make it clear that I'm not saying that you shouldn't, rather, please be safe!

IMHO your best opinion is going to be ropes at that point. I think a lot of metal rusts, so I wouldn't recommend those.


*edit: One of the threats that my partner uses on me is caging me in a large cage (like dog cage/kennel), and hosing me down with cold water. I'm not sure if that's the same kind of "shower stuff" (water stuff), or if you're referring to bondage/sex in the literal shower.

Yeah, sex in the literal shower.

For shower sex you should always make sure you invest in some heavy duty suction grip handles.

Kinky shower sex is fun, but not cracking your head open is even more fun

I've had a lot of shower sex with her, and the only time I fell was when I was beyond drunk. Lesson learned.

I'll grab some rope for when she wants to give it a go. I'll also have to learn how to tie a good knot. A sailor I am not.

 

[InfiniteBento]

A Hitachi is all you need.

(jk, sorta)

I actually get a lot of my toys from Amazon :x. Solo play fun includes your own set of clamps (as sexy as clover clamps are on paper, adjustable clamps work better imho), some clothespins (watch out for splinters! My Sir tests each one before okay-ing them on me xD), a set of anal plugs (metal or glass for me), and a small mini vibrator in additional to the God of All Gods, the Hitachi.

Oh, and this is my personal favorite plug.

I'm not into pet play, but I like having a fluffy handle. Just have to be careful not to get lube on it... it never really dries the same

Also, if you're not into the tail thing, this one makes for great pictures. I have a set of 3 in various sizes and colors

I love tails but they can be so expensive. I want one like this (NSFW!)

The best place to get them is Kitten's Playpen btw ! I'm hoping when I get extra income I can indulge in getting one with a pink bow but I may buy a bigger plug for it since I like the wide spread feeling a bit more :3

I have an obsession with cute toys. Pink ones with hearts or glass ones. The plugs you listed are cute but aren't big enough for my taste :X

I love this toy personally. It'll be the first edition to my collection once I'm all moved out

 

[Pai Pai Master]

Also, if you're not into the tail thing, this one makes for great pictures. I have a set of 3 in various sizes and colors

Ah, pretty! Gotta buy this.

 

[InfiniteBento]

Yeah, sex in the literal shower.



I've had a lot of shower sex with her, and the only time I fell was when I was beyond drunk. Lesson learned.

I'll grab some rope for when she wants to give it a go. I'll also have to learn how to tie a good knot. A sailor I am not.

Here is a great site for knots

 

[oktarb]

Here is a great site for knots

Great recommend. Thanks!

 

[esms]

Here is a great site for knots

Fantastic site. Thanks a bunch.

 

[sphinx]

whether it's about straight sex, gay sex or anything in between, I believe this kind of sex is the only one that is truly passionate and exciting....

everything else is nice and has it's place but.... no, this is it.

 

[krypt0nian]

whether it's about straight sex, gay sex or anything in between, I believe this kind of sex is the only one that is truly passionate and exciting....

everything else is nice and has it's place but.... no, this is it.

I want to say that anyone with a specific fetish would say the same about that fetish. But I get what you're saying.

 

[Moff]

I'm such an idiot I always thought that was a quote by frank underwood

but yeah, I wanted to post something similiar, I believe most people who have sex include power dynamics on some level

 

[Turin]

True. I've always felt there's more power in being on the submissive end. For me anyway.