-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
The BDSM Thread
- Thread starter Captain_Spanky
- Start date
- Status
Robot Carnival
Member
S&M manga? I'm so in. Thanks for the share. Definitely gonna check this out
yeah, it describes a lot of the mental and feeling stuff that goes through both partner's head in a session and I find it very engaging.
Dabookerman
Member
Ahem... Subbed.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Is it a good idea to go to a munch alone?
Sure. Some munches have volunteers who's job it is to say hello to the newbies and try and introduce them to people.
I went to my first munches alone (though I'd be lying if I didn't say when I started taking my wife it was easier to start up conversations...).
Not been to a much yet but have visited Fet nights at local clubs alone and made so many new friends, from my experience so far it seems a welcoming community so I can imagine munches being the same.
Does anyone have experience with fulfilling a dom-role via texts / whatsapp?
Gonna try it with my SO soon. She's been getting more and more comfortable with acting on my command, relinguishing all control and do as she's told. Before, I would only focus on rewarding correct behavior. Last weekend, I introduced punishment for not following the rules, first by a proper spanking, and built up to clamps on het nipples and pubic lips for the more serious "infractions". We talked about it afterwards, and she is willing to expand this beyond the bedroom / house. I told her I'm going to be telling her what to do via texts and she has to carry out said assignments. I have no experience in this, and I'mthinking I will build this up, like we do at home. From taking off her panties and sending naughty pics, via making a sexually charged remark to a random stranger in the street, via masturbating in a public parking area, to ultimately awaiting my arrival at home with her cuffs and blindfold already on. She works at a bank, so she has to maintain a certain level of professionalism, which makes it all more exciting to do something naughty in the office.
I was wondering if any of you have any tips on how to preserve a level of dominance over a distance. Of course, ideas and tips for assignments are also welcome
Gonna try it with my SO soon. She's been getting more and more comfortable with acting on my command, relinguishing all control and do as she's told. Before, I would only focus on rewarding correct behavior. Last weekend, I introduced punishment for not following the rules, first by a proper spanking, and built up to clamps on het nipples and pubic lips for the more serious "infractions". We talked about it afterwards, and she is willing to expand this beyond the bedroom / house. I told her I'm going to be telling her what to do via texts and she has to carry out said assignments. I have no experience in this, and I'mthinking I will build this up, like we do at home. From taking off her panties and sending naughty pics, via making a sexually charged remark to a random stranger in the street, via masturbating in a public parking area, to ultimately awaiting my arrival at home with her cuffs and blindfold already on. She works at a bank, so she has to maintain a certain level of professionalism, which makes it all more exciting to do something naughty in the office.
I was wondering if any of you have any tips on how to preserve a level of dominance over a distance. Of course, ideas and tips for assignments are also welcome
So, I'm thinking about getting my GF a Valentine's Day surprise in the form of wrist restraints. The most I have done on this front is pin her with my arms, but I know she loves it. So, my question is: What type of restraint is best/safest? Cuffs? Piece of yarn? Rubber band? I'm honestly clueless on this front. Any advice is appreciated.
InfiniteBento
Member
Check out hog ties. They'll run you about $100 for a set, you can find some on etsy too. Hottest kind of way to tie someone up, imo.
Absolutely NSFW link.
Tried googling for a local munch, turns out Munch is the name of a local paper's food critic. Way to make this so much harder, food guy.
Since this is my first post in this thread, figure I should introduce myself. And what better way to do that than with an incredibly embarrassing story?
Two years ago, I saw my first professional dominatrix, and I had a lot of fun. Saw her a few more times, but she operates a few hours away...the type of distance where you have to make a day of it instead of a spur of the moment thing. So I start searching for someone closer. And last summer, I found someone. Her setup was not nearly as impressive, but if it could save me that many hours, it would be worth it. Then the session begins...
Now imagine, it's a hot July day, you're in someone's basement, they have poor ventilation and no AC, and your hands are restrained just a bit too high. You mention you're feeling warm...very warm...She releases your hands, and at once all the blood from the rest of your body rushes to fill them....you begin to lose consciousness...but realize you really don't want to be carted out to an ambulance in what you're wearing, so you fight through it. I ended up okay, but like hell if I was seeing that dom ever again.
Since this is my first post in this thread, figure I should introduce myself. And what better way to do that than with an incredibly embarrassing story?
Two years ago, I saw my first professional dominatrix, and I had a lot of fun. Saw her a few more times, but she operates a few hours away...the type of distance where you have to make a day of it instead of a spur of the moment thing. So I start searching for someone closer. And last summer, I found someone. Her setup was not nearly as impressive, but if it could save me that many hours, it would be worth it. Then the session begins...
Now imagine, it's a hot July day, you're in someone's basement, they have poor ventilation and no AC, and your hands are restrained just a bit too high. You mention you're feeling warm...very warm...She releases your hands, and at once all the blood from the rest of your body rushes to fill them....you begin to lose consciousness...but realize you really don't want to be carted out to an ambulance in what you're wearing, so you fight through it. I ended up okay, but like hell if I was seeing that dom ever again.
InfiniteBento
Member
Hanging out in someone's basement overall is 2spoopy4me. Least you know better now and nothing seriously terrible or embarassing happened lol
*saved*
krypt0nian
Banned
Been out of the thread of late. Glad to see it still going.
Anyone have any experience with a SIR/boy relationship or scene? I'm finding it a natural thing but would love to read about it more.
Anyone have any experience with a SIR/boy relationship or scene? I'm finding it a natural thing but would love to read about it more.
Yeah, I ended up with adjustable cuffs. Thanks for info. It seems like the safest bet for rookies like us. She mentioned to me that she would like to be bruised so I might investigate some sort of metal cuffs eventually.
Understand I'm just dabbling in restraints right now, so I don't want to go hardcore on her. But, uh, if she's down to go further down this sexual path, I'm sniping this. Thanks for the heads up.
woo and indeed hoo
Banned
Before you get into that you might want to check the legal situation in whatever country you live in. That might be considered assault even though it was all entirely consensual. Ridiculous I know but there you are. I'm not saying don't do it but just be aware of the potential risks. Risk Aware Consensual Kink after all
.InfiniteBento
Member
Bruising everywhere else that's hidden is fine but wrists may cause a bit of stir since that spot is incredibly visible.
Definitely should be careful when it comes to that.
Definitely should be careful when it comes to that.
Before you get into that you might want to check the legal situation in whatever country you live in. That might be considered assault even though it was all entirely consensual. Ridiculous I know but there you are. I'm not saying don't do it but just be aware of the potential risks. Risk Aware Consensual Kink after all
I wouldn't even know where to begin researching laws like that. I'm in America so I'm sure there are state specific laws about certain sex acts. I'm not exactly gonna delve into head first without looking some stuff up first, of course.
Wasn't my idea, haha. If we do go the metal route, I'm thinking about heading to a weaponry store as well.
Again, it was her idea. If she wants to eventually do that, I'm sure we'll figure something out.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Bruising for wrists and hands?
http://www.globalindustrial.com/p/s...mpaignId=T9F&gclid=CLrw2aWa4sMCFfLm7AodWCYAYw
Most big pharmacies sell these and they are reusable.
If anyone asks, she can tell them it's carpal tunnel or wrist soreness, especially in a desk job.
http://www.globalindustrial.com/p/s...mpaignId=T9F&gclid=CLrw2aWa4sMCFfLm7AodWCYAYw
Most big pharmacies sell these and they are reusable.
If anyone asks, she can tell them it's carpal tunnel or wrist soreness, especially in a desk job.
So, I thought this thread would be the place to pose this question/two cents:
I just saw 50 Shades with my girlfriend, I thought the movie was pretty crappy, she thought it was okay. She read the books, I have not.
Anyway I know the issue the BDSM community, this thread, and lots of people had with the movie was the fact that she says stop/the safeword at one point and he keeps going. This does not happen in the movie, does this come from one of the books or something?
Now, it's DEFINITELY not an accurate portrayal of BDSM, but at the same time, it's a storyline. If it was meant as a BDSM guide, maybe it would call itself "The Definitive Guide to BDSM"
Maybe I'm crazy here, but does it seem like those kind of complaints are a bit unwarranted?
That said though, the movie still sucked. I just don't think it's fair to level unfair and untrue criticisms at it.
I just saw 50 Shades with my girlfriend, I thought the movie was pretty crappy, she thought it was okay. She read the books, I have not.
Anyway I know the issue the BDSM community, this thread, and lots of people had with the movie was the fact that she says stop/the safeword at one point and he keeps going. This does not happen in the movie, does this come from one of the books or something?
Now, it's DEFINITELY not an accurate portrayal of BDSM, but at the same time, it's a storyline. If it was meant as a BDSM guide, maybe it would call itself "The Definitive Guide to BDSM"
Maybe I'm crazy here, but does it seem like those kind of complaints are a bit unwarranted?
That said though, the movie still sucked. I just don't think it's fair to level unfair and untrue criticisms at it.
She's a nurse. Aches and pains would be an easy write off. I appreciate the input guys.
Messofanego
Banned
I think it's similar to the case of American Sniper. People are more familiar with the book than the movie, so some criticisms don't transfer.
That makes sense. I just think it's weird people are calling it "The worst thing ever", leveling accusations like promoting rape, equating BDSM to rape, etc.
Having only ever read reviews of both the book and film I can't say for certain, but From what I can gather the film has been significantly changed from the book especially in areas concerning consent. No bad thing really but I still won't be watching it.
Unrealistic depictions of things can be really grating to people. To the extent that they can't find any merit or entertainment from something. But at the same time you always get people who seem entitled that fictional works must uphold their ideals when being represented. As if deviation from those ideals isn't somehow less deserving or worthy as subject matter. Well 50 shades is clearly no great literary work, but I don't think it should judged by a different measure than anything else.
Like I said, it's still a pile of crap. But not a rape-promoting pile of crap.
Yeah, I think people won't be safe out there trying that stuff sadly, but then again that's human nature. There are always idiots.
woo and indeed hoo
Banned
Understood; my comment was intended to be more of a "just bear this in mind" than anything else. A quick google threw up this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM_and_the_law
which doesn't include the US sadly but it might help you find something more specific to your state. Good luck!
Understood; my comment was intended to be more of a "just bear this in mind" than anything else. A quick google threw up this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM_and_the_law
which doesn't include the US sadly but it might help you find something more specific to your state. Good luck!
Thanks man. Much appreciated.
Found a sex crimes page for my state from there and I'm in the clear. Bruising is fine if there is consent.
Again, thanks for the warning.
woo and indeed hoo
Banned
My pleasure
. Glad you're in the clear! Now you can beat the living crap out of your ho without restraint!Um, I mean, now you can carefully investigate firmer restraint with your fully consensual partner whilst giving due consideration to all safety protocols and BDSM best practice of S.S.C and R.A.C.K.
*cough*
¬_¬
Herbspiceguy
Member
I've been wanting to go a much in my area for a while, but I'm too affraid. I've never been to one before.
I feel like the traditional stereotype bulky/more experienced doms are going to make me insecure and draw all the attention of potential subs.
I feel like the traditional stereotype bulky/more experienced doms are going to make me insecure and draw all the attention of potential subs.
TyrantGuardian
Member
Don't make assumptions like those - everyone has their own taste and within bdsm there is generally less pressure to conform to what you're "supposed to like". Just go there and meet some friendly people.
Moff
Member
maybe you shouldn't just go there to find a date but do generally meet new people, become part of a community? if finding a date is your number 1 priority, it might help you with that, too. in time. but just like with vanilla dating, if you look for dates too desperately, you probably won't be successful.
krypt0nian
Banned
Random pop in the thread to just coo over my new tag (Sir's last name) and a bunny trinket to my keychain that has a bell.
The joke is now Sir knows where I am at all times, and if I ever run away people know who to return me to
Ahem.
Sorry. Not sure many other people would get it. Just wanted to share my happiness keke
I don't get it.
UselessNapkin
Member
Also have to consider not all dominants are top and not all bottoms are submissive.
woo and indeed hoo
Banned
Get and train a dog? Seriously. The act of imposing your will over theirs and conditioning them to the behaviour you will and will not accept is fundamentally the same. I have always thought that that would help me if I ever decided to go down that path anyway. Just a suggestion .
Other than that you just can't beat personal experience. While it can be helpful to follow the path others have trod, we are all unique individuals however much common ground there may be between us in many respects and the best path for one to follow is the one that the individual finds works best for them. Sometimes the best way to proceed is to take that first step and then see where the path takes us. Baby steps are fine.
Oh and please don't take this as me being a grammar nazi jerk but "dominate' is the verb, "dominant" is the noun. For example: "I am a dominant. I dominate my sub."
.Other than that you just can't beat personal experience. While it can be helpful to follow the path others have trod, we are all unique individuals however much common ground there may be between us in many respects and the best path for one to follow is the one that the individual finds works best for them. Sometimes the best way to proceed is to take that first step and then see where the path takes us. Baby steps are fine
.Oh and please don't take this as me being a grammar nazi jerk but "dominate' is the verb, "dominant" is the noun. For example: "I am a dominant. I dominate my sub."
InfiniteBento
Member
I often switch between the two depending on if I feel like being played with or if I want to be the one playing. I love them both equally.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
/raises hand
InfiniteBento
Member
Both roles are incredibly fun. I've been hella dominate lately though. Can't wait to get back into the working field so I can splurge on toys for when I see my love
^ For some people, just the D/s dynamic is enough without anything else.
It's about whatever gets you going, man
I know some people in my social circle who are into spanking and choking but I think that's as far as they go.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
Most of my relationships with men have not gone in any particular direction, but I prefer to be dom/top if there happens to be any sort f power play. With women I could go either way, but there is something I find completely irresistible about a woman wanting to tie me up and have her way with me.
Is it there any good guides on how to properly use ropes and make decent knots and forms? My friend has been wanting to try out being tied up but I have no experience with it (other than being on the receiving end, that is). And my knot skills are terrible, can't even tie a shoelace that lasts more than half a day
She also wants to try the Shibari kind of bondage down the line but those look so dauntilingly complicated.
She also wants to try the Shibari kind of bondage down the line but those look so dauntilingly complicated.
ShadowKingpin
Member
Has anyone here ever gotten into the Master/slave thing that I keep reading about? If so, what are your experiences like?
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked