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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)

tiff

Banned
Is the chat official ?
If it is than a log and a pm to some admin atleast stop then from doing it here.... or maybe even banning then on the irc
If EviLore runs the IRC then definitely do this. If harassment doesn't fly here then I doubt it does there either.
 

shintoki

sparkle this bitch
Oh, yikes. Guess once threat of moderation's gone GAFers are as bad as any other.

Like most sites, depends on who you associate with. Most I've played games with or talked share all the same opinions and don't change particular much. They maybe slightly more vulgar or less formal. But that just comes with the instant chat vs written responses.

While there have been some who clearly would get banned for some of the shit they say also.

2nd, They may not be Gaffers, but former Gaffers for example.
 
Everyone, I was a major ass to transgendered gaffers last year in one of the threads about the lesbian couple whose son was transgendered. Even though I didn't mean to be transphobic, I was and it was every bit as douchy as being racist or homophobic.

Sorry everyone.
 
A few terrible people in #ga just totally fucking shattered the confidence and self worth I've been trying to build up.

No, it's totally hilarious to call me a dickgirl. No, please ask me how long my penis is. How could that possibly be offensive?

I left the chat before I started crying at work so I don't know who they were.

Come to Tinychat.. you won't have those problems there..
 
Ah, that's horrible. Wish I had been there for support :(

If it means anything, you know we won't tolerate any of that in #PKGAF. Period.

Just don't let it get you down, alright? People say stupid stuff all the time, and sometimes it can't be stopped, so all I can say is don't take it to heart (and find a way to get some logs, but that's secondary).
 

Risette

A Good Citizen
Anybody got a good link of comprehensive trans information for parents? Preferably easy to understand because English isn't my mom's first language. I've been talking about it with her recently since I'm about to graduate from HS and am now going to pursue my transition, but I don't think she really gets it yet. It seems she thinks that being trans is another way to be gay (this sounds kinda bad but I don't know how else to say it...) or something.

She's not being unaccepting or anything but I really want to clear it up for her. I think it's detrimental to our conversation if she doesn't get what exactly we're talking about...
 
Anybody got a good link of comprehensive trans information for parents? Preferably easy to understand because English isn't my mom's first language. I've been talking about it with her recently since I'm about to graduate from HS and am now going to pursue my transition, but I don't think she really gets it yet. It seems she thinks that being trans is another way to be gay (this sounds kinda bad but I don't know how else to say it...) or something.

She's not being unaccepting or anything but I really want to clear it up for her. I think it's detrimental to our conversation if she doesn't get what exactly we're talking about...
What is her first language? It might be easier to just give her resources in her native language.
 

tiff

Banned
It seems she thinks that being trans is another way to be gay (this sounds kinda bad but I don't know how else to say it...) or something.
My dad's the same way, when I came out to him (by accident) he lectured me on not bringing home guys because it's the one thing he won't tolerate.
 

mollipen

Member
Billie - really sorry about what happened to you in that chat. It's something you'll have to deal with sooner or later, though, so as painful as it is, it'll make you a stronger person.

Bel Marduk - Thank you for your apology. It really means a lot.
 

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
...and besides the boring paperwork to change your birth certificate and ID, it is basicaly it.
99% is diferent in the female to male case

thanks for the detailed explanation. Jenna Talakova had it easier, she started at 14.

it's sort of dirty question and the answer is pretty obvious but I'll ask it anyway: do transwomen get wet during sex? I mean they should but since I know nothing about how it works...
 

Amalthea

Banned
My dad's the same way, when I came out to him (by accident) he lectured me on not bringing home guys because it's the one thing he won't tolerate.

My parents always told me that they were okay with me being gay, my father often told me that he thinks I'm gay. When I came out as trans they told me this is the thing they don't tolerate. (They got over it during the last ten years)
 

Dead Man

Member
Everyone, I was a major ass to transgendered gaffers last year in one of the threads about the lesbian couple whose son was transgendered. Even though I didn't mean to be transphobic, I was and it was every bit as douchy as being racist or homophobic.

Sorry everyone.

Public apologies are hard, so well done!!
 
This is something I've always felt slightly uneasy with. Surely, playing with dolls or wanting to wear women's clothing isn't a prerequisite to being (or wanting to be) a woman. You can be a man and enjoy such things. You can also be a woman and have no interest in Barbies. It kind of reminds me of the whole like of thinking similar to, "I knew my son was gay as a child because he just loved make-up and didn't like sports at all". It just seems like a very constraining definition of what it means to be a man or a woman, mired in stereotypes. But I suppose that how one comes to get a feel for one's own gender is a very personal journey. And since the concept of gender is a social construct, I may be wrong.
 
I wish people wouldn't say gender is a social construct like it's an established fact. It certainly isn't a social construct in my experience of gender. I always said I'd want the body of a woman even if I was the only person on the planet.
 

Kinyou

Member
I am just going to put this link here, and you can read it or you can not. I'm not going to say what it is—you have to make the choice on what to do with the link. It's totally safe for work... well, I mean, in terms of visuals and whatnot.

Yup.

Link
inout487y89.gif
 
it's sort of dirty question and the answer is pretty obvious but I'll ask it anyway: do transwomen get wet during sex? I mean they should but since I know nothing about how it works...

I could give a very long and detailed answer to this but simply: it depends.

This is something I've always felt slightly uneasy with. Surely, playing with dolls or wanting to wear women's clothing isn't a prerequisite to being (or wanting to be) a woman. You can be a man and enjoy such things. You can also be a woman and have no interest in Barbies. It kind of reminds me of the whole like of thinking similar to, "I knew my son was gay as a child because he just loved make-up and didn't like sports at all". It just seems like a very constraining definition of what it means to be a man or a woman, mired in stereotypes. But I suppose that how one comes to get a feel for one's own gender is a very personal journey. And since the concept of gender is a social construct, I may be wrong.

It's not quite so straightforward. They way you've described it makes it seem like the artefacts of femininity/masculinity come first, and the gender identity comes later. For those trans people who "know" as children, it was very much that our choices of toy, the friends we made, etc. were because we knew who and what we were. When we're old enough to understand that while everyone treats us like (for example) a boy when we know inside that we're a girl, we strike out for everything we can reach that will affirm who we are against the constant proclamations of no you are not. It's because these things are stereotypically feminine (and coded as such in TV adverts, in toy shops, and the playground) that we reached for them, whether or not we grew up to be super-feminine or tomboys.

I imagine that if you ask a cisgender boy playing with a Care Bear if he wants to be a girl, he'd say no and mean it. He just likes his Care Bear.

I had My Little Ponies and Flower Fairies and when I became a member of the Care Bear Club they sent the membership pack to Danielle instead of Daniel by mistake and I was so happy about that I kept the envelope and welcome letter long after my parents had called and got it changed. I protested to my parents that I was supposed to be a girl, I tried to escape when they cut my hair, I wrote little picture books about it with illustrations of miserable boys turning into happy girls, and bless them even though they didn't take it seriously (they talked to a psychiatrist who assured them it was just a phase) my hyper-Christian parents at least let me play with what I wanted and be friends with who I wanted. If I'd been born in 1999 instead of 1979 it's pretty likely I'd have been one of those transitioning six year-olds everyone's having kittens about.

None of this means every trans woman who knew as a child chose feminine toys, nor that every trans woman knew as a child. In fact, as more and more trans kids are identified as children and allowed to be who they are, reaching towards hyper-feminine (or hyper-masculine, for trans boys) toys and activities will decrease because those kids won that battle: they don't need to fight the world any more. They can relax.

Also, omg I think I just worked out where my hoarding instinct came from. mindblown.gif
 

Dariee

Member
In regards to that story: I don't have much of a phobia, but one of the few things that come close includes genetalia of any form and alterations to that
knives, scissors, needles etc.


Edit: now realizing this might sound offensive in the light of surgical interventions, for instance 'sex change' related. Obviously not meant like that, so my bad if anyone got me wrong.
 

Platy

Member
In regards to that story: I don't have much of a phobia, but one of the few things that come close includes genetalia of any form and alterations to that
knives, scissors, needles etc.

I'm pretty sure that if science gave transgender people an option that would be like "take this pill, sleep and wake up with your favorite genital" people would not even THINK of doing anything related to those things


...or did you said about the gross meal stuff ?
 

EatChildren

Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
I wish people wouldn't say gender is a social construct like it's an established fact. It certainly isn't a social construct in my experience of gender. I always said I'd want the body of a woman even if I was the only person on the planet.

To be fair if I were the only person on the planet I'd want the body of a woman too. Gotta keep myself entertained somehow.
 

Emitan

Member
Got an apology from someone! I'm feeling a lot better now. I really don't want to reread the logs to see if anyone else said anything.

Edit: lol eatchildren
 
I wish people wouldn't say gender is a social construct like it's an established fact. It certainly isn't a social construct in my experience of gender. I always said I'd want the body of a woman even if I was the only person on the planet.

If you were the only person on the planet and always had been, how would you know which body would fit you best with no frame of reference?
 

Platy

Member
If you were the only person on the planet and always had been, how would you know which body would fit you best with no frame of reference?

It is possible you don't know what exactly you want ... but i'm SURE that you will fell that your beard/huge breasts are a pain in the ass .... hell, we could even go smaller and do stuff like monobrow or hairy ears/nose =P
 

Dariee

Member
I'm pretty sure that if science gave transgender people an option that would be like "take this pill, sleep and wake up with your favorite genital" people would not even THINK of doing anything related to those things


...or did you said about the gross meal stuff ?
That's what I was referring to, yes.

Though my bad working could be interpretated like a 'don't alterate your body (especially genetalia) by using surgery/knives/needles etc' i.e. making it sound like a transphobic thing. Which was (hopefully obviously) not what I meant. But just to be sure, put the edit in there.
 
I never said always had been.

But if you take away society shouldn't any social construct just fall away?

Then you would have had the time to assimilate it and it would still be in your head, but without anyone to compare yourself to, you'd feel less compelled to want a particular body over another.
 

zoukka

Member
A few terrible people in #ga just totally fucking shattered the confidence and self worth I've been trying to build up.

No, it's totally hilarious to call me a dickgirl. No, please ask me how long my penis is. How could that possibly be offensive?

I left the chat before I started crying at work so I don't know who they were.

Goddamn I want that log so I can put those mofos on ignore. That is if they even use real nicks there.
 

Risette

A Good Citizen
I figured that was the case, but I didn't want to assume. I don't know Spanish, but I'll see what I can dig up.

Edit: Okay, I found this. It has a booklet (Our Trans Children) in both English and Spanish. Hope that helps. :)

The New York chapter of PFLAG has information in Spanish.

http://www.pflagnyc.org/support/resources
Thanks, I'll show these to her if I feel like she still doesn't quite understand next time we talk about it.

In slightly related news, I just realized that my driver's permit says F -- no, I didn't do it on purpose! (I didn't even fill out those forms!)... Should I leave it as is?
 

Stumpokapow

listen to the mad man
RE: #ga, since any apology Billiechu got was obviously not public;

irc.gamecubecafe.com #ga

1) It's not "GAF's official IRC channel". It is an IRC channel where a lot of people from GAF hang out, but it's not a 1:1 thing, there are people in the chat with no GAF accounts, and the rules are not exactly the same.

2) Just the same, everyone is welcome in #ga and typically people are banned for that kind of stuff, or gay-bashing, or racial slurs, or whatever. Unfortunately there are relatively few ops and they aren't around 100% of the time at all. I am not an op in #ga. I understand that since then a few people got added to the OP list to help with responsiveness. If you do decide to come back (your call, obviously) and face any other kind of abuse then you should feel free to PM anyone who is opped and if they're around, they will kickban the offenders. Rukes is a robot.

PM them on IRC, not on NeoGAF, because again, see #1.
 
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