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Transgaf: 'cause boys will be girls (and vice versa)

Misha

Banned
Erica's at least portrayed as just wanting to live as a normal human and have relationships without being worried about being chased off, but I have yet to see the full ending on that route. Was thinking I'd juast perfect each of the puzzles to skip as much actual replaying and cruise on to see whatever I wanted.

I'm pretty sure thats the reason why I didn't notice the first time I went through. later on there's jokes that
she tricked toby into having sex with her by not telling him and him slightly being grossed out after
and
she has the nightmares like only guys do and the reasoning is she can't provide a child

there are also a few other incidents where they subtly react to her in not so nice ways that you already would have seen and the game credits her as "Eric Anderson". I missed most of these things also since they just seem like playful banter without the full context
(scroll down to the bottom of the "Catherine" subsection. contains spoilers btw)


though I guess the actual character has no flaws I can think of, its how the other characters and teh game treat her that are crappy
 

Misha

Banned
So I've been thinking of doing a "Every transgender character in gaming" thread and I reached an issue. I'm not sure how to classify a lot of japanese characters. It seems to be a trope in japanese fiction to have a cis character crossdress in order to be better respected and another one for them to simply be raised as the other gender but not considered as that gender in the fiction.

Characters that are examples of the former include Naoto from persona 4 and chihiro from danganronpa. In both cases they expressed themselves as the opposite gender in order to be treated in a way they'd prefer and at the end of the day were confirmed to be cis in-universe

An example of the latter is gwyndolin from dark souls. I haven't read a ton on gwyndolin but they seem to present female but largely seems to be referred to as male

one of the confusing things for me about those is that how they handle actual trans characters in japanese fiction is pretty similar. Often: "he thinks he's a girl but is actually a boy". So would these likely be the creators' interpretations of transgender individuals or would a non-binary label fit these kinds of characters or perhaps are they just cisgender with no qualifications?


of course theres other circumstances of outright crossdressing and "trap" characters where a cisgender character is assumed to be the opposite gender just by their appearance but those I'm not including purposefully
 

Platy

Member
An example of the latter is gwyndolin from dark souls. I haven't read a ton on gwyndolin but they seem to present female but largely seems to be referred to as male

one of the confusing things for me about those is that how they handle actual trans characters in japanese fiction is pretty similar. Often: "he thinks he's a girl but is actually a boy". So would these likely be their interpretations of transgender individuals or would a non-binary label fit these kinds of characters or perhaps are they just cisgender with no qualifications?

None of these characters looks to be trans ... Gwyndolin is the Bridget style of "as cis as you can be" because both were raised as daughters but still strongly identify with their birth sex.

I REALLY don't think there is any character besides those 8 that I said in the Baldur's Gate thread

Vivian
Birdetta
Poison (youtube link because every wiki has that urban legend that she was cis from start)
Krem
Erica
Sya
Ned
 

Misha

Banned
None of these characters looks to be trans ... Gwyndolin is the Bridget style of "as cis as you can be" because both were raised as daughters but still strongly identify with their birth sex.

I REALLY don't think there is any character besides those 8 that I said in the Baldur's Gate thread

Well I'm partially not asking the literal part of that in the actual work because their genders are explicitly informed, its more "is this how they might see transgender people and therefore creating characters that deep down still wish to be their assigned gender". Not to say its wrong to be that way, I just don't quite know the culture behind that since they seem to come up way more often in japanese fiction than I'd imagine would happen in real life but idk. (and admittedly I was frustrated when initially it looked like chihiro was going to be trans and turned out not to be)

and I guess one thing I'm asking is if your gender expression doesn't match your gender identity, does that make you fit under the LGBT+ umbrella? I don't entirely entirely understand all that

I wasn't really going to include them anyway unless I was going to include a wider variety and not simply transgender


I did find a few more than you mentioned but I was planning on reading including Reni Wassulmaier from grand theft auto vice city stories but I'm going to read up a bit more on them (and the point was to find as many as possible and not just positive ones so even if grand theft auto did as well as I'd expect, so long as they're actually transgender, they'd get on the list)
also a few in more indie games like Read Only Memories
 

mollipen

Member
They put a trans character on the expansion. One trans player said it sucked that she talks about the fact that she is trans with a stranger the first time they meet (you have to click like 3 dialogue options to see that she is trans ... but then again, which npc DOES NOT tell their entire life to the pc ? =P)

But, seriously—who would do that? Most trans people do the opposite of that, and try their best not to get into their pasts. There's plenty of other things that character could have told you in terms of their life story off the bat, and their trans-ness could have come up later as part of a quest or something.

And Misha—I can dig into the stuff we've put together for our PAX panels on trans characters a give you the lists we came up with.
 

Platy

Member
Nobody, Shidoshi, but nobody asks a person they just meet to deliver a letter in another city.

For an npc, telling that she changed her name because she is trans after TWO dialogue trees is pretty much their most hidden secret =P

and I guess one thing I'm asking is if your gender expression doesn't match your gender identity, does that make you fit under the LGBT+ umbrella? I don't entirely entirely understand all that

No. Gender expression has nothing to do with Gender identity that has nothing to do with Sexual orientation.

If you are going to add Gender Expression than ... you can add every butch female character ever made... which in some ways include even Samus pre-Zero Suit
 

Misha

Banned
Nobody, Shidoshi, but nobody asks a person they just meet to deliver a letter in another city.

For an npc, telling that she changed her name because she is trans after TWO dialogue trees is pretty much their most hidden secret =P



No. Gender expression has nothing to do with Gender identity that has nothing to do with Sexual orientation.

If you are going to add Gender Expression than ... you can add every butch female character ever made...
which in some ways include even Samus pre-Zero Suit

point taken.

as much as I'd like to know better, I'm still as [whatever the term is that expects certain things from certain genders because I'm pretty sure what I said at first wasn't it] as most people :p (okay not nearly as much thats an exaggeration but I'm not quite in the completely understanding mindset yet)
that's what asking questions is for though :)


oh ALSO regarding Naoto and such, I saw her come up on a few trans lists which I'm sure were wishful thinking but I was curious to ask about (I'm awful at remembering my reasoning for things :p)


But, seriously—who would do that? Most trans people do the opposite of that, and try their best not to get into their pasts. There's plenty of other things that character could have told you in terms of their life story off the bat, and their trans-ness could have come up later as part of a quest or something.

And Misha—I can dig into the stuff we've put together for our PAX panels on trans characters a give you the lists we came up with.

That would be cool. I'm mostly just trying to do a simple thread with a short bio and pic for each character basically to say "thats all we got". I figure its good for awareness and nice to cite in other threads since having it all layed out adds to credibility
 

Eusis

Member
But, seriously—who would do that? Most trans people do the opposite of that, and try their best not to get into their pasts. There's plenty of other things that character could have told you in terms of their life story off the bat, and their trans-ness could have come up later as part of a quest or something.

And Misha—I can dig into the stuff we've put together for our PAX panels on trans characters a give you the lists we came up with.
She does it after you go asking what the meaning is behind her name.

Also this made me think and remember how most RPG NPCs are completely unnatural in how much crap they tell you as a random stranger. Seriously, it'd be like getting to personally know about a quarter of the people at a mildly busy mall when you're lucky to know maybe one person's name.
 

mollipen

Member
I still think it seems like a heavy-handed way to fit a trans character into the expansion, and comes off like a perfect example of someone who isn't trans wanting to be "progressive" but not actually understanding trans characters.
 

Beth Cyra

Member
I still think it seems like a heavy-handed way to fit a trans character into the expansion, and comes off like a perfect example of someone who isn't trans wanting to be "progressive" but not actually understanding trans characters.
I still disagree with this.

There are trans folk that do very much talk about their past and are willing to share it.

We are a minority but I don't think representation should only be based on majority and so long as she was asked for the info and didn't puke it out I think it was a great choice given it is something we would likely not see the majority of the time.
 

Eusis

Member
I still think it seems like a heavy-handed way to fit a trans character into the expansion, and comes off like a perfect example of someone who isn't trans wanting to be "progressive" but not actually understanding trans characters.
It is arguably a starting point to actually using them effectively though. An awkward step is better than crap like Ace Ventura's cheap twist for a joke or even Catherine's fairer but still kind of offensive take.
 

Platy

Member
I still think it seems like a heavy-handed way to fit a trans character into the expansion, and comes off like a perfect example of someone who isn't trans wanting to be "progressive" but not actually understanding trans characters.

It is a shopkeeper. You either have the option of not saying anything and loosing a trans character because "everyone is cis unless stated otherwise" or acepting that talking that they are trans IF THE RIGHT CONVERSATION TREE IS SELECTED TWO TIMES is a completly normal way for NPCs to talk about their personal lifes.

How would YOU make this shopkeeper trans considering there is no quest atached to her ? Do you prefer OTHER people disclosing her trans status ? That she is obviously a man in drag on the pic ? I simply CANNOT see how someone could get this char more right regarding her trans status
 

Eusis

Member
Guess I should scrutinize the posts later if I'm not in enough of a "fuck the world" mode! Which is hard to get out of due to medication issues and all these horrible bills dumbfuck southern politicians keep pushing because apparently they're balls of hatred with less reason to be that way.
 

Dr. Buni

Member
I always try to avoid adding any one to the ignore list but even I left that thread with a new person on mine.
I very rarely add people to the ignore people for what they say, but I still have a bunch of people there for other reason (mostly weird/borderline NSFW avatars).

Sometimes it is really hard to not use the feature...
 

Platy

Member
aGgP0KW.png

Zero. Nothing. Nada.

I want to see the world for what it is =P
 

Eusis

Member
I should see if I DID add anyone here. The one case I can remember was at another forum and because of how horrific the avatar was to look at. When we had those weird "see what your baby would look like" ads and it was some kind of... nightmare visage of Rowan Atkinson's grown face on a baby's body with wiry hair.
 

Firehead

Member
Hi again, just waiting patiently on the waiting list for the therapist appointment. Was originally supposed to be 2-3 weeks... and it's been about 3 months now. *sighs* No idea what's going on.

I should see if I DID add anyone here. The one case I can remember was at another forum and because of how horrific the avatar was to look at. When we had those weird "see what your baby would look like" ads and it was some kind of... nightmare visage of Rowan Atkinson's grown face on a baby's body with wiry hair.
Usually just block their avatars from showing up on my browser when it comes to that. Can block those without blocking ads or whatever. ^^
Never added a user to my ignore list though...

Zero. Nothing. Nada.

I want to see the world for what it is =P
Exactly how I look at it.
 

Nudull

Banned
Most (if not all) GAF threads on trans issues are an exercise in inducing depression. I don't even bother to mention my non-cisness, these days.
 

mollipen

Member
How would YOU make this shopkeeper trans considering there is no quest atached to her ?

I wouldn't make her trans, because I don't think it adds anything to the game. Why would I care about the gender identify / sexuality / other such things of shopkeepers unless they are involved in the game deeper, such as in quests?
 

Dr. Buni

Member
Why do some people who don't use the ignore list always have to act like they are better because of that? o_O It is so weird.
Most (if not all) GAF threads on trans issues are an exercise in inducing depression. .
Even this one is a bit too down for my tastes, usually.
 

Platy

Member
I wouldn't make her trans, because I don't think it adds anything to the game. Why would I care about the gender identify / sexuality / other such things of shopkeepers unless they are involved in the game deeper, such as in quests?

So are you saying that a white male cis hetero character IS the default. If you don't care than just put more white male cis hetero characters ? This makes absolutly no sense.

Ok, lets try in another way.

You are LITERALY using 2 diferent weights for cis and trans people. This means that you are LITERALY having the prejudice that trans people need to change something to the story to be there while cis people cisness does not.

If a cis character does not need to add nothing to the story because they are cis, than a trans character can be trans just because as same !

You don't need a PRATICAL reason to make the game world more like the real world. People on this thread are not born to add something to someone's story ... we are born trans because ... I guess we just got that trait by trowing the dice. The same should happen on a game.

IF you need a character on a quest to talk about identity, yes, a trans character will help your quest ... but trans characters can and NEED to exist everywhere else because if you go by your standards than we would have EVEN LESS than the 8 trans characters we already have.

Remember the Poison you always love ? Beat em Ups does NOT NEED a "checklist". It adds NOTHING to the Final Fight game to make Poison trans... so she would NOT be trans in final fight, meaning that she would not be trans in Street Fighter.
 

Lady Gaia

Member
I wouldn't make her trans, because I don't think it adds anything to the game. Why would I care about the gender identify / sexuality / other such things of shopkeepers unless they are involved in the game deeper, such as in quests?

It's easy to see how we get to conclusions like these, but think about it in other terms and it becomes harder to accept. Why give townspeople in games a hair color, unless it's involved in something deeper like a quest? Stated like that it sounds frankly ridiculous, and most people wouldn't argue that there's one "default" hair color for characters, either. You give people a range of appearances because it contributes to the illusion of a living, breathing world even if it is just skin deep.

As for threads touching on trans representation? Sure, there's a lot of ignorance and bias but there's also quite a bit of support from allies. I find the latter energizing and encouraging, because a decade back they wouldn't have been so numerous.
 

mollipen

Member
So are you saying that a white male cis hetero character IS the default. If you don't care than just put more white male cis hetero characters ? This makes absolutly no sense.

I don't do that at all. I've spent years arguing that character creation should be the default, unless you can justify your main character. Two weeks ago, I was sitting in England telling the developers of Homefront: The Revolution that I thought their main character was done poorly, and that they should either make him a more worthwhile character or have him be selectable in terms of gender / race.

What I'm arguing is that if you're going to put minorities in your game, don't put them in as token characters. Give them value, at least for now, as we struggle to have positive representation in our games*. Token characters can grow to have value, but that's not a good reason for their initial inclusion. Me, personally, I don't want to be something for someone else to include as a way to make themselves feel better, or show how "progressive" they are. And if you're going to include us token characters, at least get it right. That's what I want.

* And to be clear, I don't mean every minority or trans character has to be a good person. You can have characters that are written to be the bad guy or jerks or shitty people or whatever else, and still have them well-written.

If a cis character does not need to add nothing to the story because they are cis, than a trans character can be trans just because as same !

CIS people are like 99+% of the population. You're going to have to throw in a bunch of them that have little to no value to populate your world, unless you want a game that's unrealistic.


You don't need a PRATICAL reason to make the game world more like the real world.

But let's be honest here: the "real world" typically doesn't have examples of us in it most of the time. There aren't that many of us to guarantee that you'll always have on trans person in a group of ten, or a hundred, or even a thousand. Over-including us makes games less realistic—which I'm totally fine with! But that isn't striving for realism, it's the opposite.


IF you need a character on a quest to talk about identity, yes, a trans character will help your quest ... but trans characters can and NEED to exist everywhere else because if you go by your standards than we would have EVEN LESS than the 8 trans characters we already have.

And all I'm saying is don't half-ass their inclusion. The point that a trans character in a world with gender-change potions and belts and whatnot doesn't make a lot of sense has been brought up, and that's a damn fine point. Our notion of being "trans" wouldn't exist there, but similar ideas could still be done.

Maybe you go on a quest for this person, and you find out it's a cursed belt that causes gender change, and you take it back to them and warn them, but they admit that's what they wanted? Or maybe you've got a character who was cursed by the belt, realized that was who they were always meant to be, and now are trying to save themselves from people who want to force them to remove it?

A bit of creativity would come up with plenty of great ways to include trans characters without tossing someone in who tells you their gender story shortly after meeting you which is not at all a thing most of us would do.


Remember the Poison you always love ? Beat em Ups does NOT NEED a "checklist". It adds NOTHING to the Final Fight game to make Poison trans... so she would NOT be trans in final fight, meaning that she would not be trans in Street Fighter.

I've never not said Poison's reason for being trans wasn't dumb. It is! But she's grown into something more over time, and she's also a product of an era that had less concern for us. We can do better in 2016 in terms of character creation.

P.S. - I still love you Platy, even if you think I'm dumb on this. <3
 

Watch Da Birdie

I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
Japan just seems to draw a female character and then say they're trans for a quick character "quirk", so I really don't know how to feel about characters like Poison and Bridget---I feel like they probably do more harm than good to the community overall. I know they always gave me so much anxiety...

I've often wondered how I'd represent a trans character in fiction and I've never come to a satisfying answer---I mean given my own struggles I feel like if I ever wrote something I'd go that route, but I worry about representation since I'm not that far into the process I don't think I could be a good representative for the group as a whole. A lot of this stuff is still new for me and I stumble around the terminology and fear offending others due to my own naivety.
 

Beth Cyra

Member
Japan just seems to draw a female character and then say they're trans for a quick character "quirk", so I really don't know how to feel about characters like Poison and Bridget---I feel like they probably do more harm than good to the community overall. I know they always gave me so much anxiety...

I've often wondered how I'd represent a trans character in fiction and I've never come to a satisfying answer---I mean given my own struggles I feel like if I ever wrote something I'd go that route, but I worry about representation since I'm not that far into the process I don't think I could be a good representative for the group as a whole. A lot of this stuff is still new for me and I stumble around the terminology and fear offending others due to my own naivety.

Nah nothing wrong with Bridget.

He isn't trans and never has been presented as such.

I do however take issue with Poison.
 

Watch Da Birdie

I buy cakes for myself on my birthday it's not weird lots of people do it I bet
Like is it offensive to say that I think,as someone who aspires to be seen as a woman fully, that there are a lot of hurdles to overcome and that characters like Poison gloss over those issues as basically characters drawn to be perfectly female except for a quick footnote saying they're born male to either act as a weird form of censorship or fetish fuel? I just feel like Poison represents an unrealistic body image for everyone that's impossible to reach and the character always bothered me for that reason, I'll never be able to look like her and that really upsets me.

And I see why you don't see Bridget as trans, looked up the character and saw that it's not his choice to be seen as a woman but his culture and he fights to prove his masculinity---ah, see, that's why I have so much trouble figuring out what Japan means to say with their characters who cross gender boundaries.
 

Lady Gaia

Member
... characters like Poison gloss over those issues as basically characters drawn to be perfectly female except for a quick footnote saying they're born male to either act as a weird form of censorship or fetish fuel? I just feel like Poison represents an unrealistic body image for everyone that's impossible to reach and the character always bothered me for that reason, I'll never be able to look like her and that really upsets me.

The same could be said by the vast majority of cisgender women regarding female representation in most forms of media. Idealized, frequently Photoshopped feminine forms are everywhere and don't reflect reality especially well. In other words: welcome to being female in today's society.
 

Platy

Member
Poison specificaly does not enter in that "quirk" because she KINDA has a crap transphobic reason to be trans that she is representing the prostitution on the bad neightbours of Metro City. Did they NEEDED her to be trans ? no, cis prostitution also exists... but she is representing specificaly a group of people that can be found in that setting
 

Misha

Banned
And I see why you don't see Bridget as trans, looked up the character and saw that it's not his choice to be seen as a woman but his culture and he fights to prove his masculinity---ah, see, that's why I have so much trouble figuring out what Japan means to say with their characters who cross gender boundaries.

that's what I was talking about on the last page. Definitely seems like cultural difference to me. It just isn't something that ever comes up in western (American?) society
 
Evening.


So right now, I'm working over my plans to get out of this abusive relationship. It's hard.


I think i'll be chosing a new name so a name attached to the awful things I've been through these past 3 years.

So here's hoping I can figure this out.


I need to be happy with myself, which I am far from.
 
Last weekend I found my digital camera. I had forgotten about it since I bought a decent smartphone in February 2015, only using it when I needed a tripod. I was wondering what was inside the memory.

Wow. Apparently I had been tracking all of my evolution ever since I began HRT, week after week... Then the gory ffs pics come, and after that there are not more pics until the day before the breast augmentation. It's been some time since I saw quality pictures of my chest with no cheat angles and lens aberration.

Pretty much I've been sugar coating my pre-surgery breast look. Even if I am not happy with what I got, It's better than what was before. At least in aesthetic terms, pain and movement are still a bitch. But oh well, it has taken me 5 months to get used to them, even if I still think of getting them upgraded in a future.



Looks like I have missed 1-2 days of GAF. HTTPS again?
 

Beth Cyra

Member
Evening.


So right now, I'm working over my plans to get out of this abusive relationship. It's hard.


I think i'll be chosing a new name so a name attached to the awful things I've been through these past 3 years.

So here's hoping I can figure this out.


I need to be happy with myself, which I am far from.
Being happy is most important Ice. If you need please reach out via PM and I'm always here to chat or listen if you need.
 
Evening.


So right now, I'm working over my plans to get out of this abusive relationship. It's hard.


I think i'll be chosing a new name so a name attached to the awful things I've been through these past 3 years.

So here's hoping I can figure this out.


I need to be happy with myself, which I am far from.

The most important thing about leaving an abusive relationship is realizing we are in one. It's hard, it's really freaking hard but you can do it and it's okay to ask for help, we're here for you.

I think it's a good idea to change the name if it helps you putting all those bad thoughts behind you, I've known some people who have done the same before and I think it's really empowering to stand up and re-brand yourself and assert your independence from the abusive partner.


I happen to like Poison. I think she represents a fairly limited slice of the trans spectrum but it's still something that in my opinion is important. She passes so flawlessly and no one has any issues with her until it's disclosed that she's trans. It shows the way people freak out at trans people and how transphobia is inherent regardless of passing or body type. Besides, trans sex workers are hardly rare sadly and I think that trans people who transition when they are young (11~12 pre-puberty) deserve just as much representation as those who transition well past that and they're just as trans as anyone else.



AppleSeason, I think I know how you feel. I'd love to talk to you more but I'd rather do that in private.
 

mollipen

Member
Good luck with everything IceDoesntHelp—really hope you can figure out your situation and get yourself in a better place.


I've often wondered how I'd represent a trans character in fiction and I've never come to a satisfying answer---I mean given my own struggles I feel like if I ever wrote something I'd go that route, but I worry about representation since I'm not that far into the process I don't think I could be a good representative for the group as a whole. A lot of this stuff is still new for me and I stumble around the terminology and fear offending others due to my own naivety.

In my arguing about the whole Baulder's Gate thing, I thought about what I'd do if I were making a character that I thought was a good representation. This was my (not deeply considered) thought for a trans side NPC.

Post-apocalypse type game, let's say zombies. At one point, you walk in and catch female NPC you've been introduced to before doing something suspicious. You confront them, they say they're planning to sneak out to go on a run for something. You could press them on what they're planning to do and why, turn them in, or ignore it.

If pressed, they say there's a medical center in the area, and they're going there to get medication that they need. Your char says the base has plenty of medicine in the stockpile—the girl nervously says she needs something they don't have. You'd have the option to tattle on them for their own safety, ignore what's going on, agree to help, or say you want to know more or you'll warn the others that she's going to sneak out.

At that point, if you've pressed them again, it would lead to her revealing that she's trans, and that she needs specific medication for her situation. You could then go with her, or let her go on her own.

If you go with her, you have some adventures, and then you're in the pharmacy area of the medical center. Just as you get there, a horde of zombies are bearing down on you. She begs you to hold them off while she looks for what she needs. You can agree, or you can push her to tell you what she's looking for so you can help her find it faster before the zombies break it. If she already told you back at the base, then she tells you rather quick, but if she didn't, then it takes an additional section of dialog to convince her. If you know enough about medication, then you know her situation from what she needs.

Two different ways to find out that she's trans, both in ways that would make sense for the situation and come up in ways that wouldn't be forced. Again, an off-the-top-of-my-head idea, but I think it could be interesting.


AppleSeason said:
Wow. Apparently I had been tracking all of my evolution ever since I began HRT, week after week... Then the gory ffs pics come, and after that there are not more pics until the day before the breast augmentation. It's been some time since I saw quality pictures of my chest with no cheat angles and lens aberration.

I've been taking at least a few photos of my facial progress a month, and looking at the timeline is pretty crazy. I wish I'd been tracking my chest progress as well. *heh*
 

Platy

Member
Ok, Fighting games allow for checklists and RPGs have lots of ways to make a character trans.

But what if it is a .... 2d platformer ? a racing game ? a moba ? a game with little to no story ? a puzzle game ? a Beat em up ?

Your choice is no trans people allowed in these games ?
 
Butterfly Witch[/quote said:
AppleSeason, I think I know how you feel. I'd love to talk to you more but I'd rather do that in private.
I'm available most of the time, although it's not that recommended to talk to me... I am a broken record most of the time.

I've been taking at least a few photos of my facial progress a month, and looking at the timeline is pretty crazy. I wish I'd been tracking my chest progress as well. *heh*

There wasn't any differences facial wise, tbh as I never had any luck with subcutaneous fat. It's more like I try to smile more post-ffs, and better kept eyebrows

For the breast development... well, I know pretty well my timeline. During the first 8 months of DIY I got nothing, then 4 months of constant growth when switched to cypro, then stopped completely with growth so minimalistic that it was hard to notice. I remember getting happy when I moved from fitting inside a push up to actually having my breasts pushed. And right now I haven't bought a push-up yet... I had to take it easy, start with the post-surgery ones, then graduate to underwire... Maybe for june I will try one. Problem is that my breast implants are strongly fitted in place (under muscle) and don't really have movement, so I don't know how this will work. If I jump, my natural breast moves but the implant remains solid.


Small life updates:

- I'm going back to the girls lgbt support group. More like a lesbian / women in general oriented thing as the "mixed" group was 99% gay and tend to look transwomen with disdain and as "unaccepting gays that should crossdress instead". This would not happen if genders were 50/50, but they as a mass this happens too often. I stopped going to that one after being really really hurt when they thought I was a crossdresser.

- I've resumed the booze, with obvious results when you have no alcohol tolerance and one single beer will knock you down. It's not like I had a drinking problem and I stopped foind it because of my fitness obsession.

- 4 months left of SRS saving, even if I am still unsure about going under the knife and feeling like I am doing it to comform to society and be accepted. Even though having a dick is starting to become more than just a social problem. I had heard about weakened bladder / muscles but never expected this would happen, translating into surprises when I think I'm done peeing and something starts falling when I get up. This absolutely did not happen before. Add increased tucking pain, and penile skin becoming so thing that usage in "the old way", be it masturbation or toys results in pain and skin tearing.

- Most painful Electrolysis session ever. I'm worried about my T levels when I get a blood test next month, as I have seen regrowth in areas that had been hairless for years. Neck hair is not fun at all even with EMLA and ibuprofen.

- Worrying World of warcraft can become a problem. Right now I'm playing for an hour every day, and that game always scares me about becoming addicted to it. It's mostly that I don't have any series to watch before bedtime and arrive home too late to play Skyward Sword (link, what have you been taking?)

PS: I was considering doing the Poison cosplay post-BA, but I'm unsure about if I have enough boobage for it, not no mention muscle tone. Also, I truly fear stilettos.
 

Misha

Banned
I feel like for transgender related topics its worth dealing with all the crap that happens in the discussions since a large portion of it genuinely is ignorance. you still get the people who know better but just want to be hateful but its not like topics like sexism where everyone is already coming in with a decent bit of knowledge and it just ends up being depressing with no benefit
 

Anura

Member
I can't tell you as I never used the chat myself. Not that I didn't want too, I just never got around to asking lol.

I'm a lazy bum.
 
Outside of here and a forum a bit more hidden than the media, I mostly comunicarte with others in the "guild" through a secret Facebook group or directly.

I try to avoid the few chat channels I know of. You either get chasers or people with really weird ideas. I just go to see how one person I can only contact through a channel is doing.

Depressive and suicidal feelings day. I should not have done my nails today... If at least they were dry I could concentrate on the guitar. And yesterday I was doing great, I even felt ready to go with SRS and accept things and move on. It's even weirder since I've been working out and I my stress levels should be down. Or maybe some chapters of Whipping girl for me depressed. Dunno. I wish I could be with somebody. Just to forget a bit about all of this.
 
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