-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Welcome to Erf! [NeoGAF XCOM Let's Play]
- Thread starter Jintor
- Start date
Director of Operations – CLASSIFIED T2_MINOR_OMICRON // DOCUMENTATION>REQUEST_LOG 005A
Dr. Billiechu:
Dr. Vlodrin:
Lt. Corky:
Sq. Ld. PBAlfredo:
Dr. Slackbladder:
Cpl. Frontieuk:
Dr. Jamie OD
Dr. Billiechu:
- Request to deny sale of damaged UFO flight computer to
- DENIED[REDACTED]
- Request to deny sale of two alien corpses to Council Nations – DENIED
- Request for additional surgical equipment – APPROVED
- Proposal to limit the use of explosives in tactical situations – UNDER CONSIDERATION
Dr. Vlodrin:
- Proposal for the construction of additional Power Generator on LVL-1 – APPROVED
- Proposal for more active use of artificial intelligences in XCOM operating procedures – UNDER CONSIDERATION
Lt. Corky:
- Temporary benching of Cpl. Frontieuk for medical recovery - APPROVED
- Temporary promotion of Pvt. Deraldin to active Contact Team Alpha – APPROVED
- Rank-based armour distinctions – APPROVED
Sq. Ld. PBAlfredo:
- Request to track aerial kills via markings on Interceptors – APPROVED
Dr. Slackbladder:
- Request for additional supplies of bleach – APPROVED
- Request for “Fresh, nubile test subjects” – DENIED
Cpl. Frontieuk:
- Request for additional pain medication – APPROVED
- Request for “your mum to blow me” – DENIED [request forwarded to Cpl. Thy]
Dr. Jamie OD
- Confirmation of pending XSAT-002 launch – APPROVED
KO Traveling Hobo
Member
TemplaerDude
Member
I need more updates!!
KrM DeLorean
Member
Just amazing. Great work on the dialog, keep it up!
frontieruk
Member
Thats what your mum said last night
Unknown Soldier
Member
Easy for you to say when you're not the one out there getting shot up by alien scum.
whalleywhat
Member
You seem shaken up. How's your Will?
He's contemplating his mortality after he saw frontieruk go down with that injury.
Unknown Soldier
Member
I wasn't Mortally Wounded, so my Will should not have changed from the initial value.
whalleywhat
Member
Alright, but why are you waving that gun around?
Unknown, you better keep your distance from these ET-lifeform sympathizers. There seems to be something serpentine in their general behavior, don't you agree?
Unknown Soldier
Member
I do. Maybe I should shoot them and see what happens. If they die, we'll know for certain they were human. If they start glowing and then change into Thin Men before dying, we'll know for certain they were alien infiltrators!
"...I'll be completely honest with you, Director, I'm not really sure how this thing works. It's not my field. No panhandling is about as much as I know. But my team assures me we'll be getting a sufficient amount of power to get another three or four facilities up before we'll need more generator space."
"It seems adequete for the moment, Dr. Vlodril, given our available resources. Pass my compliments on to the construction and planning teams."
"Of course. Have you had time to consider my proposal regarding some kind of advanced training facility for our ground troops just yet?"
"There's been a lot on my plate, but yes. I think-"
"Sir, priority one message from Communications!"
"What is it now- oh."
"Hmmm. Another set of simultaneous abductions. Once is bad luck, but twice is the beginning of a pattern..."
"I'll get Dr. Pickles on it right away, sir. Orders?"
"We'll talk later, Vlodril. I assume Skyranger-1 and Contact Team Alpha are already prepped, Lt. Eidelon?"
"They're just waiting on a destination, sir."
"Sacrifices... war is always about sacrifices."
"...sir?"
"...Get Nigerean High Command on the line, now, and tell them not to blow us out of the sky when we show up to save their asses."
KO Traveling Hobo
Member
Look on the bright side. It could have been Very Difficult.
whalleywhat
Member
You have truly personified Panic here.
Incendiary
Banned
Oh my god I'm dying here. This is a great thread. Subscribing! I wish I had signed up for this now.
Unknown Soldier
Member
Very few things are more total BS in this game than when one of your junior squad members panics and shoots one of your vets in the back and crits him for a one shot.
CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET
//INCIDENT REPORT_0004//
OPERATION SECRET PRIEST
<<LAGOS, NIGERIA>>
16 March 2015
CONTACT TEAM ALPHA
Cpl. Mupod
Cpl. UnknownSoldier
Cpl. Thy
Pvt. Deraldin
---Audio Transcript Excerpt – CONTACT TEAM ALPHA ---
Mupod: How you doin’, rookie? Different from Russia, ey?
Deraldin: Is okay.
Unknown: I don’t like this. I wish Frontie and his big-ass rocket launcher were here.
Mupod: I’m okay without explosions right in my face, thanks.
Deraldin: I am hearing much about Cpl. Frontie. He is big hero.
Thy: That’s… a matter of opinion.
Bluey: Suit up, ladies, we’re coming in on the LZ now.
<<-timestamp advance 73 seconds->>
UnknownSoldier: Rookie, take point.
Deraldin: Da – enemies spotted.
Deraldin: They are moving away…
Mupod: Don’t just stand there, rookie, get to cover.
Deraldin: Understood… two more.
Deraldin: They are also running.
Mupod: Well, that’s better than shooting at us-
Deraldin: Oh, shit!
[unidentified weapon discharge]
Thy: Chin up, rookie, you’re good.
Deraldin: Is not so different from normal gunfire, I suppose.
UnknownSoldier: I see movement!
[automatic weapons fire]
UnknownSoldier: Haha, suck on that.
Thy: Any idiot can shoot through a car frame.
UnknownSoldier: But unlike you, I can hit.
//INCIDENT REPORT_0004//
OPERATION SECRET PRIEST
<<LAGOS, NIGERIA>>
16 March 2015
CONTACT TEAM ALPHA
Cpl. Mupod
Cpl. UnknownSoldier
Cpl. Thy
Pvt. Deraldin
---Audio Transcript Excerpt – CONTACT TEAM ALPHA ---
Mupod: How you doin’, rookie? Different from Russia, ey?
Deraldin: Is okay.
Unknown: I don’t like this. I wish Frontie and his big-ass rocket launcher were here.
Mupod: I’m okay without explosions right in my face, thanks.
Deraldin: I am hearing much about Cpl. Frontie. He is big hero.
Thy: That’s… a matter of opinion.
Bluey: Suit up, ladies, we’re coming in on the LZ now.
<<-timestamp advance 73 seconds->>
UnknownSoldier: Rookie, take point.
Deraldin: Da – enemies spotted.
Deraldin: They are moving away…
Mupod: Don’t just stand there, rookie, get to cover.
Deraldin: Understood… two more.
Deraldin: They are also running.
Mupod: Well, that’s better than shooting at us-
Deraldin: Oh, shit!
[unidentified weapon discharge]
Thy: Chin up, rookie, you’re good.
Deraldin: Is not so different from normal gunfire, I suppose.
UnknownSoldier: I see movement!
[automatic weapons fire]
UnknownSoldier: Haha, suck on that.
Thy: Any idiot can shoot through a car frame.
UnknownSoldier: But unlike you, I can hit.
Thy: You’ll see. Firing…
[sniper rifle fire]
Thy: …
UnknownSoldier: I speak only the truth, my friend.
Mupod: Stop pissing around and hold your position for the moment - I don’t like the look of that engine-
[explosion]
UnknownSoldier: I see glowing back there…
Deraldin: Enemy is retreating! Advancing!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Deraldin: Missed, you little shit! Oh, fuck!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Bluey: Hey, what’s going on out there? You idiots are scratching my ride!
Mupod: Sorry Bluey, we’re a little busy right now…
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: …deaing with some uninvited guests.
[sniper rifle fire]
Thy: …
UnknownSoldier: I speak only the truth, my friend.
Mupod: Stop pissing around and hold your position for the moment - I don’t like the look of that engine-
[explosion]
UnknownSoldier: I see glowing back there…
Deraldin: Enemy is retreating! Advancing!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Deraldin: Missed, you little shit! Oh, fuck!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Bluey: Hey, what’s going on out there? You idiots are scratching my ride!
Mupod: Sorry Bluey, we’re a little busy right now…
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: …deaing with some uninvited guests.
TemplaerDude
Member
In Soviet Russia, alien... uhh.... something... fuck. Come on part two!
[sniper rifle fire]
Thy: X-ray down.
Deraldin: Good shot, sir.
Thy: See, the rookie knows talent when he sees it, Unknown.
Unknown: Sure, but he’s the rookie.
Mupod: Get away from that cab, rookie, the engine’s about to blow.
Deraldin: Da, on it.
[explosion]
Unknown: Just in time–
Deraldin: I see target, taking shot!
[automatic weapons fire]
Deraldin: Got it!
UnknownSoldier: Look at that, the rookie popped his cherry.
Mupod: You never forget your first kill. Heading out – contacts!
Thy: Mupod, they're hiding behind the same car!
Mupod: Their last mistake.
[Frag grenade pin]
[Explosion]
DUFFMCWALIN
Member
This is so good. Sub'd. Wished I signed up.
Zod the Bear
Member
Hoping to get onto the flight list down the road.
Sub'd!
Sub'd!
MEMORANDUM:
To: Dr. Slackbladder
From: Dr. Mindlog
Subject: The lack of support for my research.
Also, please add more sanitary napkins to our weekly requisition order.
To: Dr. Slackbladder
From: Dr. Mindlog
Subject: The lack of support for my research.
Yet again my requests have been denied. I hope you actually made an effort this time. My methods may be unorthodox, but I believe a breakthrough is coming soon. Please impress upon the Director the urgency of our work.
Also, please add more sanitary napkins to our weekly requisition order.
Mupod: I, uh
no effect on targets.
Thy: Looks like the nade wasnt powerful enough to chain reaction the fuel tank.
UnknownSoldier: Told you we couldve used Frontie and his death rockets.
Mupod: Fucking explosions.
Thy: Whatever, cleaning up.
[sniper rifle fire]
Mupod: Good shot.
UnknownSoldier: Moving up
Mupod: Last ones run off again.
[explosion]
Deraldin: Fuel went up.
Mupod: Holding position for now, get your asses up here.
Thy: Roger.
UnknownSoldier: Roger.
Mupod: Rookie, take point.
Deraldin: Again?
UnknownSoldier: Youre the rookie, deal with it.
Deraldin: Moving targets spotted!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Deraldin: Retreating, retreating!
Mupod: Fuckers coming this way!
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: Argh, shouldve used the pistol fuck, taking fire!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Thy: Flank the little shit!
Mupod: On it-
[shotgun blast]
UnknownSoldier: Firing!
[automatic weapons fire]
UnknownSoldier: Neutralised.
Thy: Looks like the nade wasnt powerful enough to chain reaction the fuel tank.
UnknownSoldier: Told you we couldve used Frontie and his death rockets.
Mupod: Fucking explosions.
Thy: Whatever, cleaning up.
[sniper rifle fire]
Mupod: Good shot.
UnknownSoldier: Moving up
Mupod: Last ones run off again.
[explosion]
Deraldin: Fuel went up.
Mupod: Holding position for now, get your asses up here.
Thy: Roger.
UnknownSoldier: Roger.
Mupod: Rookie, take point.
Deraldin: Again?
UnknownSoldier: Youre the rookie, deal with it.
Deraldin: Moving targets spotted!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Deraldin: Retreating, retreating!
Mupod: Fuckers coming this way!
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: Argh, shouldve used the pistol fuck, taking fire!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Thy: Flank the little shit!
Mupod: On it-
[shotgun blast]
UnknownSoldier: Firing!
[automatic weapons fire]
UnknownSoldier: Neutralised.
Thy: I’m going up high.
Deraldin: Advancing…
[explosion]
Mupod: Truck back there just went up… advancing. I see a little guy, far end.
Thy: No visibility on target, Mupod.
Mupod: Damnit – bastard’s retreating.
Deraldin: Moving up…
UnknownSoldier: Taking cover by the drop pod.
Thy: I’ll keep an eye out…
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: Little bastard scurrying towards your position, Unkno- shit!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Mupod: Truck’s up in flames!
Thy: Firing-
[sniper rifle fire]
Thy: Missed the target!
Mupod: Peekaboo, motherfucker.
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: Tango down.
Deraldin: Engaging!
[automatic weapons fire]
Thy: Rookie doing good work.
Deraldin: Target is down.
Mupod: I think that’s the last of them…
Central: Confirmed, Contact Team Alpha. We’re done here.
UnknownSoldier: Total milk run. How’d you like your first mission out, Deraldin?
Deraldin: Is good. I hope all missions are like this, sir.
Thy: Don’t we all.
---Transcript Ends---
KILLS/MISSION BOARD:
Mupod – 7/4 (+2)
Frontieuk – 7/3 (-)
Thy – 5/4 (+2)
UnknownSoldier – 4/4 (+2)
Deraldin – 2/1 (+2)
Deraldin: Advancing…
[explosion]
Mupod: Truck back there just went up… advancing. I see a little guy, far end.
Thy: No visibility on target, Mupod.
Mupod: Damnit – bastard’s retreating.
Deraldin: Moving up…
UnknownSoldier: Taking cover by the drop pod.
Thy: I’ll keep an eye out…
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: Little bastard scurrying towards your position, Unkno- shit!
[unknown weapon discharge]
Mupod: Truck’s up in flames!
Thy: Firing-
[sniper rifle fire]
Thy: Missed the target!
Mupod: Peekaboo, motherfucker.
[shotgun blast]
Mupod: Tango down.
Deraldin: Engaging!
[automatic weapons fire]
Thy: Rookie doing good work.
Deraldin: Target is down.
Mupod: I think that’s the last of them…
Central: Confirmed, Contact Team Alpha. We’re done here.
UnknownSoldier: Total milk run. How’d you like your first mission out, Deraldin?
Deraldin: Is good. I hope all missions are like this, sir.
Thy: Don’t we all.
---Transcript Ends---
KILLS/MISSION BOARD:
Mupod – 7/4 (+2)
Frontieuk – 7/3 (-)
Thy – 5/4 (+2)
UnknownSoldier – 4/4 (+2)
Deraldin – 2/1 (+2)
KO Traveling Hobo
Member
"Septic Mupod" sounds more like a xeno than a soldier.
Incendiary
Banned
Mupod aka "Septic" ....because when he's on the battlefield, the aliens are up shit creek.
Unknown Soldier
Member
Looks like I have some competition for the Support spot in the squad now.
Excellent work by our field operatives. We can only hope every operation goes this well.
Request: As the expansion of XCOM HQ is going to be vital to the long term success of the project, I request a preliminary geological survey as well as the current layout and upcoming facilities under construction, if any. (I want to see the Engineering view of the base.)
Also, I just realized, if I'm the Central Operations Officer, does that make me Bradford's stand in? Basically, my job is to repeat what the UI says and make weird comments in the Situation Room?
Request: As the expansion of XCOM HQ is going to be vital to the long term success of the project, I request a preliminary geological survey as well as the current layout and upcoming facilities under construction, if any. (I want to see the Engineering view of the base.)
Also, I just realized, if I'm the Central Operations Officer, does that make me Bradford's stand in? Basically, my job is to repeat what the UI says and make weird comments in the Situation Room?
Director of Operations – CLASSIFIED K9_DIMINISHED_SIGMA // EMAILS>RE: GEOLOGICAL/FACILITY PROPOSED DEVELOPMENT MAP – CENTRAL OPERATIONS OFFICER
Cpt. McNum,
I have attached a copy of the current ‘anthill’ map of XCOM HQ – Dr. Vlodril absolutely refuses to consider surveying a more traditional top-down view of our base structures and I have no idea why. He tells me that the current base expansion plan calls for a 2 by 2 set of Uplink facilities to the left of the access lifts, with a chain of power generators working their way towards the thermal steam vent on the lower substratum. Workshops and research labs as required are to be located in the higher strata to the right of the lift, beyond the generators, while some kind of training facility is to be constructed next to the Uplink facility block in the top left quadrant. If you or any members of the team have any insight into optimising our current layout, please feel free to forward it to myself or Dr. Vlodril.
On a side note, it has become increasingly clear to me that much of Dr. Vlodril’s time is being taken up by managing construction-related affairs when he should be more closely supervising our traditional manufacturing processes, which – aside from the field of Satellite Technology – is beginning to suffer for it. If you would be so kind as to find me a candidate in engineering to head up our Construction teams full-time, I would be appreciative. Ensure someone !applies as soon as possible.
In regards to your second inquiry: your role is general in nature, but primarily consultory, as befits a man of your experience. Your secondary role is to ensure that I, as Director, are kept informed of all current and relevant operating aspects of XCOM. I would appreciate it, however, if you henceforth refrained from reading aloud every single bloody report in the situation room.
Director Jintor.
---ATTACHED---
---END COMMUNICATION---
Cpt. McNum,
I have attached a copy of the current ‘anthill’ map of XCOM HQ – Dr. Vlodril absolutely refuses to consider surveying a more traditional top-down view of our base structures and I have no idea why. He tells me that the current base expansion plan calls for a 2 by 2 set of Uplink facilities to the left of the access lifts, with a chain of power generators working their way towards the thermal steam vent on the lower substratum. Workshops and research labs as required are to be located in the higher strata to the right of the lift, beyond the generators, while some kind of training facility is to be constructed next to the Uplink facility block in the top left quadrant. If you or any members of the team have any insight into optimising our current layout, please feel free to forward it to myself or Dr. Vlodril.
On a side note, it has become increasingly clear to me that much of Dr. Vlodril’s time is being taken up by managing construction-related affairs when he should be more closely supervising our traditional manufacturing processes, which – aside from the field of Satellite Technology – is beginning to suffer for it. If you would be so kind as to find me a candidate in engineering to head up our Construction teams full-time, I would be appreciative. Ensure someone !applies as soon as possible.
In regards to your second inquiry: your role is general in nature, but primarily consultory, as befits a man of your experience. Your secondary role is to ensure that I, as Director, are kept informed of all current and relevant operating aspects of XCOM. I would appreciate it, however, if you henceforth refrained from reading aloud every single bloody report in the situation room.
Director Jintor.
---ATTACHED---
---END COMMUNICATION---
Dear Professor
,
Thank you for accepting this offer from the United Nations
Combat Unit. Please find enclosed two tickets to Dresden, Germany, where you are to report to UNU-FLORES, Dresden. Here you will be subject to genetic and retinal identification before being directed onwards. Your identifier codename is Sonicmj1; please identify yourself at reception in order to begin security clearance procedures.
Arrive by 20 March 2015 at 1800 hours. We do not recommend relocating family or dependants for this position. You will receive a further briefing and appropriate classified materials at UNU-FLORES.
Congratulations.
Lt. Corky
Office of Logistics and Maintenance
United Nations
Combat Unit
"Vigilo Confido"
[REDACTED]
Thank you for accepting this offer from the United Nations
[REDACTED]
Arrive by 20 March 2015 at 1800 hours. We do not recommend relocating family or dependants for this position. You will receive a further briefing and appropriate classified materials at UNU-FLORES.
Congratulations.
Lt. Corky
Office of Logistics and Maintenance
United Nations
[REDACTED]
"Vigilo Confido"
From: Cpt. McNum
Subject: "Dealing with Panicky Politicians"
First of all, my commendations on the Situation Room display. While the hologlobe is impressive, I have taken a liking to the big friendly color coded map of the world displaying, what I will have to assume is a very abstracted display of how scary the aliens are in the funding nations. The manual, and yes, I read instruction manuals, suggests that any country reaching an alarming level 5 (color coded in red, of course) could withdraw funding from the project. Further, if eight countries do so, we're done for and should start learning to speak Martian, or whatever.
Anyway, my point is that politicians are a scared lot, not so much of the aliens, hell, they'd probably sign a pact or something with them if they thought it would benefit them, but of their population. They'd like to be able to say they're doing something. Which is where we come in, isn't it? What we can do, if there aren't any aliens to shoot in the area, is launch satellites. Let them make that fact public. "The government is looking after us! Yay!" and all that. Of course, an eye in the sky won't actually change much for them, but it will for a while quell any extreme panic.
But to cut it short, I have a couple of strategic suggestions with this in mind:
Strategic suggestion 01: We must, if possible, always have one satellite either in production or reserve, as well as the capability to launch it, to be able to decrease panic in countries reaching panic level 5.
Supplemental: The launch of emergency panic reduction satellites should be delayed to as close to the next Council Report as possible for maximum impact and flexibility.
/// CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET ///
Strategic suggestion 02: It may also be prudent to work out a list in advance of... expendable countries in case we can only save one or two out of several level 5s.
Obviously, it's not a choice we want to make, and most certainly not an option anyone should know we're considering, but... It pays to be paranoid enough to be prepared for this. ETs we can handle. Politicians are something else. Something more sinister.
/// CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET ///
And now back to reading manuals, and checking the UFO conspiracy websites. It's the most reliable source of news in the business. And yes, it's a secure connection, they think I'm from Hawaii.
Signed
Cpt. McNum Central Operations Officer
- VIGILO CONFIDO -
Subject: "Dealing with Panicky Politicians"
First of all, my commendations on the Situation Room display. While the hologlobe is impressive, I have taken a liking to the big friendly color coded map of the world displaying, what I will have to assume is a very abstracted display of how scary the aliens are in the funding nations. The manual, and yes, I read instruction manuals, suggests that any country reaching an alarming level 5 (color coded in red, of course) could withdraw funding from the project. Further, if eight countries do so, we're done for and should start learning to speak Martian, or whatever.
Anyway, my point is that politicians are a scared lot, not so much of the aliens, hell, they'd probably sign a pact or something with them if they thought it would benefit them, but of their population. They'd like to be able to say they're doing something. Which is where we come in, isn't it? What we can do, if there aren't any aliens to shoot in the area, is launch satellites. Let them make that fact public. "The government is looking after us! Yay!" and all that. Of course, an eye in the sky won't actually change much for them, but it will for a while quell any extreme panic.
But to cut it short, I have a couple of strategic suggestions with this in mind:
Strategic suggestion 01: We must, if possible, always have one satellite either in production or reserve, as well as the capability to launch it, to be able to decrease panic in countries reaching panic level 5.
Supplemental: The launch of emergency panic reduction satellites should be delayed to as close to the next Council Report as possible for maximum impact and flexibility.
/// CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET ///
Strategic suggestion 02: It may also be prudent to work out a list in advance of... expendable countries in case we can only save one or two out of several level 5s.
Obviously, it's not a choice we want to make, and most certainly not an option anyone should know we're considering, but... It pays to be paranoid enough to be prepared for this. ETs we can handle. Politicians are something else. Something more sinister.
/// CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET ///
And now back to reading manuals, and checking the UFO conspiracy websites. It's the most reliable source of news in the business. And yes, it's a secure connection, they think I'm from Hawaii.
Signed
Cpt. McNum Central Operations Officer
- VIGILO CONFIDO -
TemplaerDude
Member
I wish I could get some architecture credits by putting fucking "Simtower" on my resume.
INTERNAL RECORDS – CLASSIFIED H5_LAMBDA // MINUTES>STRATEGIC LEVEL EXECUTIVE MEETING TRANSCRIPT 007
21 March 2015
Present:
McNum: Public awareness is ramping up in a major way, Director. The Emperor of Japan made a public statement yesterday urging calm while you were briefing Professor Sonicmj1, and that French bastard just tripled his bounty for anybody who can get him an alien corpse.
Pickles: Obviously, Nigeria has settled down somewhat after Operation Secret Priest-
Vlodril: Express my thanks to their High Command for the additional engineering teams, by the way-
Pickles: -but worldwide, we’re not looking at a great situation here.
McNum: Even Russia and China are flipping out, and as far as we can tell nobody there’s even seen a goddamn UFO over there during the last two weeks. We’re thinking conspiracy theorist agitators and political dissidents are stirring up trouble-
Pickles: -which frankly, wouldn’t normally be a huge problem, but we desperately need stability right now. Destabilised countries are going to begin concentrating on their own anti-xeno projects, on dealing with troubles on the homefront, and they’re not going to be giving us the material support that the project needs.
McNum: We need to get our eyes in the sky as soon as possible.
Director: Dr. Vlodril, Dr. Jamie, please report.
Vlodril: I’ll let Dr. Jamie handle this one.
Jamie OD: Ahem. Well, I must admit I’ve never had to work with this kind of equipment before, but the principles are pretty basic. Apart from the traditional recon and surveillance equipment, the quantum gravitational field detectors must be calibrated to the highest possibl-
Director: Cut to the chase, Dr. Jamie.
Jamie OD: Right, right. Well, Engineering has already completed building and calibrating XSAT-02, but the required calculations for geostationary orbit haven’t quite been completed yet – mainly because we don’t know where to put it.
Vlodril: Director, we need to know which country the satellite should cover.
Director: McNum, Pickles?
McNum: Sir, to be frank, the South American countries are teetering on the edge of chaos, but… well, that’s how it’s been there for months now.
Pickles: Egypt is also on the brink, but…
McNum: Japan is one of our highest funding nations, and both Dr. Vlodril and Dr. Billiechu are telling me that their scientific and engineering knowledge is invaluable to the war effort.
Director: Hmmm. We’ll have to transfer an interceptor across for air coverage.
Corky: Sir, Babeslayer has been grousing about PBAlfredo’s aerial dominance recently, and PBAlfredo says he’s getting sick of the weather around here. I think he’d like a working holiday in Japan.
Director: Done, then.
Jamie OD: One more thing – we’ve reached our maximum capacity for satellite uplinks that we can connect to from our current facilities. The team is going to require another uplink facility.
Sonicmj1: We have a solid idea of where we want to place it, but-
Director: You’ll have to wait for our next cash infusion, gentlemen; hopefully it’s not too far away. We can’t afford to divert our resources just yet.
Jamie OD: So long as it’s priority one, I’m satisfied.
Director: Right. Science Team, report.
21 March 2015
Present:
- Director Jintor
- Dr. Billiechu
- Dr. Pickles
- Dr. Slackbladder
- Dr. Mindlog
- Dr. Vlodril
- Prof. Sonicmj1
- Dr. Jamie OD
- Cpt. McNum
- Lt. Corky
McNum: Public awareness is ramping up in a major way, Director. The Emperor of Japan made a public statement yesterday urging calm while you were briefing Professor Sonicmj1, and that French bastard just tripled his bounty for anybody who can get him an alien corpse.
Pickles: Obviously, Nigeria has settled down somewhat after Operation Secret Priest-
Vlodril: Express my thanks to their High Command for the additional engineering teams, by the way-
Pickles: -but worldwide, we’re not looking at a great situation here.
McNum: Even Russia and China are flipping out, and as far as we can tell nobody there’s even seen a goddamn UFO over there during the last two weeks. We’re thinking conspiracy theorist agitators and political dissidents are stirring up trouble-
Pickles: -which frankly, wouldn’t normally be a huge problem, but we desperately need stability right now. Destabilised countries are going to begin concentrating on their own anti-xeno projects, on dealing with troubles on the homefront, and they’re not going to be giving us the material support that the project needs.
McNum: We need to get our eyes in the sky as soon as possible.
Director: Dr. Vlodril, Dr. Jamie, please report.
Vlodril: I’ll let Dr. Jamie handle this one.
Jamie OD: Ahem. Well, I must admit I’ve never had to work with this kind of equipment before, but the principles are pretty basic. Apart from the traditional recon and surveillance equipment, the quantum gravitational field detectors must be calibrated to the highest possibl-
Director: Cut to the chase, Dr. Jamie.
Jamie OD: Right, right. Well, Engineering has already completed building and calibrating XSAT-02, but the required calculations for geostationary orbit haven’t quite been completed yet – mainly because we don’t know where to put it.
Vlodril: Director, we need to know which country the satellite should cover.
Director: McNum, Pickles?
McNum: Sir, to be frank, the South American countries are teetering on the edge of chaos, but… well, that’s how it’s been there for months now.
Pickles: Egypt is also on the brink, but…
McNum: Japan is one of our highest funding nations, and both Dr. Vlodril and Dr. Billiechu are telling me that their scientific and engineering knowledge is invaluable to the war effort.
Director: Hmmm. We’ll have to transfer an interceptor across for air coverage.
Corky: Sir, Babeslayer has been grousing about PBAlfredo’s aerial dominance recently, and PBAlfredo says he’s getting sick of the weather around here. I think he’d like a working holiday in Japan.
Director: Done, then.
Jamie OD: One more thing – we’ve reached our maximum capacity for satellite uplinks that we can connect to from our current facilities. The team is going to require another uplink facility.
Sonicmj1: We have a solid idea of where we want to place it, but-
Director: You’ll have to wait for our next cash infusion, gentlemen; hopefully it’s not too far away. We can’t afford to divert our resources just yet.
Jamie OD: So long as it’s priority one, I’m satisfied.
Director: Right. Science Team, report.
Billiechu: Before I start, I wish to protest most strongly against the constant use of explosives in the field-
Director: The contact team does what is necessary to minimise the amount of body bags we have to take back.
Billiechu: With respect, sir, we have enough trouble reconstructing alien technologies when they self-destruct. We don’t need those… meatheads blowing the fragments up as well.
McNum: Doctor, with respect, the longer those ‘meatheads’ are alive, the more tech you and your lab monkeys are going to get to play with.
Billiechu: …quite. In any case, Dr. Slackbladder and Dr. Mindlog have much to report.
Director: Very well, have at it.
Slackbladder: Sir, me and my associate would like to thank you again for this very, very rare opportunity to reach beyond the knowledge of modern medicine and become pioneers on the road to-
Director: Skip the flowery prose, Doctor, we’re on a schedule here.
Mindlog: We know they bleed, and that we can kill ‘em. I think we’ve figured out how we can keep the bastards alive.
McNum: What?
Director: Go on.
Slackbladder: Sir, on a cursory analysis the aliens appear to share a relatively similar neurological and genetic structure to our own. We know they don’t need any kind of gear to survive in Earth atmosphere, so there’s no need to worry about building some kind of environmental containment-
Mindlog: A standard prison will do, although of course I urge far greater security than any government lockup. But our main discovery is- well, take a look.
Director: Genetic engineering?
McNum: We’re fighting… clones?
Slackbladder: That’s what the corpses tell us. Of course, we’ve yet to perform a completely considered autopsy just yet – but well, to be frank-
Mindlog: - we’d rather the Contact Team bag us a live one.
McNum: What?
Corky: And how precisely do you propose to do that?
Slackbladder: I’ve been talking to Dr. BigJiantRobut and Dr. Vek, and they reckon that they can create a… well, it’s basically an alien taser, to simplify.
Corky: And what’s the range like on this thing?
Mindlog: …uh…
McNum: Answer the question.
Slackbladder: …less than a meter.
Corky: …ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MINDS?
Director: The contact team does what is necessary to minimise the amount of body bags we have to take back.
Billiechu: With respect, sir, we have enough trouble reconstructing alien technologies when they self-destruct. We don’t need those… meatheads blowing the fragments up as well.
McNum: Doctor, with respect, the longer those ‘meatheads’ are alive, the more tech you and your lab monkeys are going to get to play with.
Billiechu: …quite. In any case, Dr. Slackbladder and Dr. Mindlog have much to report.
Director: Very well, have at it.
Slackbladder: Sir, me and my associate would like to thank you again for this very, very rare opportunity to reach beyond the knowledge of modern medicine and become pioneers on the road to-
Director: Skip the flowery prose, Doctor, we’re on a schedule here.
Mindlog: We know they bleed, and that we can kill ‘em. I think we’ve figured out how we can keep the bastards alive.
McNum: What?
Director: Go on.
Slackbladder: Sir, on a cursory analysis the aliens appear to share a relatively similar neurological and genetic structure to our own. We know they don’t need any kind of gear to survive in Earth atmosphere, so there’s no need to worry about building some kind of environmental containment-
Mindlog: A standard prison will do, although of course I urge far greater security than any government lockup. But our main discovery is- well, take a look.
Director: Genetic engineering?
McNum: We’re fighting… clones?
Slackbladder: That’s what the corpses tell us. Of course, we’ve yet to perform a completely considered autopsy just yet – but well, to be frank-
Mindlog: - we’d rather the Contact Team bag us a live one.
McNum: What?
Corky: And how precisely do you propose to do that?
Slackbladder: I’ve been talking to Dr. BigJiantRobut and Dr. Vek, and they reckon that they can create a… well, it’s basically an alien taser, to simplify.
Corky: And what’s the range like on this thing?
Mindlog: …uh…
McNum: Answer the question.
Slackbladder: …less than a meter.
Corky: …ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MINDS?
lorebringer
Member
I volunteer to taser the first alien, think of the GLORY
There's a promotion for that right?
Guys?
There's a promotion for that right?
Guys?
XANDER CAGE
Member
Trust me guys I can totally build a tazer. I electrocute myself all the time, can't be THAT hard to electrocute someone else.
Director: Lieutenant-
Corky: First Billie here wants to stop my soldiers saving their own asses out on the field, and now Dr Freakshow and Igor here want to throw them headfirst into a meatgrinder just to pull some worthless xeno scum back for their goddamn petting zoo? Fuck that!
Billiechu: Sir, there are tactical advantages to this plan-
McNum: …I concur.
Corky: McNum?
Billiechu: If we can… open some kind of line of communication to a living specimen, imagine what cosmic wonders we could learn about. What they might have to teach us.
McNum: Sir, if we could open a line of communication, we could kick their teeth in until they told us what we need to hear.
Slackbladder: Actually, these ones don’t have teeth, or even mouths-
McNum: Shut it, doctor. Sir, this is a golden opportunity.
Director: Hmm. I must say-
Corky: You’re not going to let these idiots just throw away lives, are you, Director?
Director: We have an overriding objective here, Lieutenant: the defence of Earth. And… well, I hardly think lives would be wasted if we were to learn something that could drive these bastards back where they came from.
Mindlog: That’s probably space, Directo-
Director: I was about to say that I don’t think that we can pursue this objective immediately. We’re under-resourced as it is.
Pickles: If we get the satellite network up and running soon, we’ll be flush. It is my recommendation we continue expanding our coverage areas, at least in the short term.
McNum: True. But, as a matter of principle, sir, we cannot fight this war entirely defensively. At some point in time, we’re going to have to go after them. And the first step on that path is to capture one of these… things… and make them talk.
Director: I’m in agreement, Captain-
Comms: Sir, urgent message from the Council!
Director: Damnit. Science Team, Engineering, you’re dismissed. Operations, meet me in the Situation Room. McNum, we’ll discuss this later.
<<-timestamp advance +65 seconds->>
Mindlog: …Are they all gone?
Slackbladder: …I think so.
Mindlog: You hear that, Slack? We’re gonna get to cut up a live one!
[high-five]
---Transcript Ends---
Corky: First Billie here wants to stop my soldiers saving their own asses out on the field, and now Dr Freakshow and Igor here want to throw them headfirst into a meatgrinder just to pull some worthless xeno scum back for their goddamn petting zoo? Fuck that!
Billiechu: Sir, there are tactical advantages to this plan-
McNum: …I concur.
Corky: McNum?
Billiechu: If we can… open some kind of line of communication to a living specimen, imagine what cosmic wonders we could learn about. What they might have to teach us.
McNum: Sir, if we could open a line of communication, we could kick their teeth in until they told us what we need to hear.
Slackbladder: Actually, these ones don’t have teeth, or even mouths-
McNum: Shut it, doctor. Sir, this is a golden opportunity.
Director: Hmm. I must say-
Corky: You’re not going to let these idiots just throw away lives, are you, Director?
Director: We have an overriding objective here, Lieutenant: the defence of Earth. And… well, I hardly think lives would be wasted if we were to learn something that could drive these bastards back where they came from.
Mindlog: That’s probably space, Directo-
Director: I was about to say that I don’t think that we can pursue this objective immediately. We’re under-resourced as it is.
Pickles: If we get the satellite network up and running soon, we’ll be flush. It is my recommendation we continue expanding our coverage areas, at least in the short term.
McNum: True. But, as a matter of principle, sir, we cannot fight this war entirely defensively. At some point in time, we’re going to have to go after them. And the first step on that path is to capture one of these… things… and make them talk.
Director: I’m in agreement, Captain-
Comms: Sir, urgent message from the Council!
Director: Damnit. Science Team, Engineering, you’re dismissed. Operations, meet me in the Situation Room. McNum, we’ll discuss this later.
<<-timestamp advance +65 seconds->>
Mindlog: …Are they all gone?
Slackbladder: …I think so.
Mindlog: You hear that, Slack? We’re gonna get to cut up a live one!
[high-five]
---Transcript Ends---