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What "simple things" can't you do?

L

LegendofLex

Member
A few things:

- Properly coil ropes/cables/hoses/cords without twisting them
- Chew steak without ending up with an unchewable wad of meat in my cheeks
- Drive a conversation (I can play off of other more sociable people, though); it gets even worse when it's late at night and I'm tired
- Whistle loudly using my fingers
- Wink my right eye; actually, the entire right side of my face seems to have lost some of its muscle strength at some point in elementary school
- Form close bonds with other men
 
F

FUBAR McDangles

Member
It is very, very difficult for me to blow up a balloon. Red face blowing as hard as I can. Nothing. I dont want to say I cant, but...i cant. Spoke to a doctor about it one time and he just shrugged it off. Im in good shape, never smoked, dont have any diseases of the lung or anything. I just cant blow up a balloon.
 
T

TMC

Member
LegendofLex said:
A few things:

- Properly coil ropes/cables/hoses/cords without twisting them
- Chew steak without ending up with an unchewable wad of meat in my cheeks
- Drive a conversation (I can play off of other more sociable people, though); it gets even worse when it's late at night and I'm tired
- Whistle loudly using my fingers
- Wink my right eye; actually, the entire right side of my face seems to have lost some of its muscle strength at some point in elementary school
- Form close bonds with other men
Click to expand...

Just sounds like an overcooked steak to me.

I always end up checking YouTube when I need to tie a tie.
 
S

sikkinixx

Member
Snap my fingers on my right hand. Left hand is no issue, right hand though. Yeah...

Speak another language despite nearly every person in my family being able to.
 
D

DrEvil

not a medical professional
I can't stop on skates / skis / snowboards.

I can skate, ski and snowboard no problem, but the actual act of stopping via the quick pivot turn scares the hell out of me. I can't seem to do it without worrying about tumbling over myself.
 
M

MicH

Member
Man, I feel so sad for all you guys who can't swim or ride a bike. That was all I did as a kid and it was amazing. Everyone should learn how to do those.
 
P

PSqueak

Banned
Xe4 said:
resizepicture.php

This is the "standard" method.

shoelace-1.jpg

This is "bunny ears". The difference is you make two loops and tie them instead of wraping lace around one and passing it through. More people do the standard, mostly because it lasts longer before becoming untied. Bunny ears is easier for kids to learn though, so it's useful in that regard.
Click to expand...

Man, I KNOW how to tie my shoes and yet these diagrams make it look so needlessly complicated.

Anyways, i can only whistle in a low tone, can't do those loud "dog calling" whistles.
 
T

The_Hitcher89

Member
Make a cup of tea

I think its boiling water, then a bit of milk, then a teabag and sugar to taste, but I've never done it myself

Ask me to make a cup of coffee and I'd try to distact you before running away
 
G

gatling

Member
Monkey bars. Its a coordination thing while looking up/forward. No idea why.

Patrick S. said:
I can whistle with my fingers, but only with four fingers. I can't do it using only two.
Click to expand...

4 fingers using two hands? I'm imagining it with one hand and the image is hilarious.
 
E

EhoaVash

Member
Holding a conversations. After breaking the ice its just me pretending to be looking at my phone

Also I can't swim

Can't roll, do flips
 
W

Waaghals

Member
Tence said:
Use that piece of shit. Gimme a piece of cheese, that cutter...and I will murder the cheese.
I can get off a couple of slices but after that I am going to break the cheese.
Click to expand...

This probably isn't a problem on your end.
Some of those are just inexplicably terrible at slicing cheese.

They look like all other cheese slicers, but they are useless. It is truly one of life's great mysteries.
 
N

Nicolada

Member
26 and can't ride a bike. I even had an instructor in school as a kid try to teach me, but it didn't take lol. I'd like to try again if it ever comes up.

Oh and I can't snap my fingers. Looked it up plenty of times, doesn't work for me.
 
B

BLOODED_hands

Member
Can't seem to be happy 🤔 I wonder where it all went wrong.....

Can't float in water due to two traumatic experiences when I was younger. I like to stay in the 3-4 foot area though. I've tried to learn to float from family and friends but it just doesn't work.

Can't whistle with my fingers but it's not a big deal for me.

I can and can't roll my R's. It's weird. If I try to say, "ora ora ora ora ora!" Two Ora's will be rolled and the the rest won't be rolled. :shrugs:

I like to drive, but only in the night time but I, cannot for the life of me, parallel park. Been practicing it since I got my Driver's Permit (16 year old, now 25) but I just can't get it down. Kind of why I don't want to get my Driver's License. I know that I will fail it because of my lacking parallel parking skills. I also have anxiety issues when I drive and can't seem to get rid of it or learn to overcome it.

I also cannot hold any conversation like a regular human being. I can always bring up something but it fizzles out in the middle. It's mainly because I don't have anything interesting to add to any conversation or lack any kind of interest in any conversation. I'll offer one or two thoughts and then I just drift off into nothingness. Like.... I just don't think what we are trying to discuss is interesting at all <- is what is going through my mind.

I can't chop or mince shit fast and move my fingers away. My hand-eye coordination is garbage so I have to cut, chop, dice, or mince slow as fuck.
 
Z

ZOONAMI

Junior Member
BLOODED_hands said:
Can't seem to be happy &#129300; I wonder where it all went wrong.....

Can't float in water due to two traumatic experiences when I was younger. I like to stay in the 3-4 foot area though. I've tried to learn to float from family and friends but it just doesn't work.

Can't whistle with my fingers but it's not a big deal for me.

I can and can't roll my R's. It's weird. If I try to say, "ora ora ora ora ora!" Two Ora's will be rolled and the the rest won't be rolled. :shrugs:

I like to drive, but only in the night time but I, cannot for the life of me, parallel park. Been practicing it since I got my Driver's Permit (16 year old, now 25) but I just can't get it down. Kind of why I don't want to get my Driver's License. I know that I will fail it because of my lacking parallel parking skills. I also have anxiety issues when I drive and can't seem to get rid of it or learn to overcome it.

I also cannot hold any conversation like a regular human being. I can always bring up something but it fizzles out in the middle. It's mainly because I don't have anything interesting to add to any conversation or lack any kind of interest in any conversation. I'll offer one or two thoughts and then I just drift off into nothingness. Like.... I just don't think what we are trying to discuss is interesting at all <- is what is going through my mind.

I can't chop or mince shit fast and move my fingers away. My hand-eye coordination is garbage so I have to cut, chop, dice, or mince slow as fuck.
Click to expand...

Floating is more about water buoyancy than anything else. It’s very easy to float in salt water but not pools or fresh water. Also breathing techniques allow you to float in non salt water, and understanding how to slightly use your hands and legs to stay afloat. Just squirming around violently will just make you sink faster.
 
B

BLOODED_hands

Member
ZOONAMI said:
Floating is more about water buoyancy than anything else. It’s very easy to float in salt water but not pools or fresh water. Also breathing techniques allow you to float in non salt water, and understanding how to slightly use your hands and legs to stay afloat. Just squirming around violently will just make you sink faster.
Click to expand...

Interesting. Never been in salt water. I always get jealous of people who can float like nothing. I also have asthma so that's probably why I can't properly float? I can doggie paddle for some time until my body just gets tired, lol.
 
P

psynergylover

Member
use chopsticks....my sister has tried to teach me for years!!! i watched fuckin videos on how to eat with chopsticks but there's like some glitch in my body that makes me unable to use them..
 
S

shiftplusone

Member
Remember basic cooking related measurements

How many teaspoons in a cup, How many fluid ounces is a tablespoon, that kind of stuff. I gotta ask Alexa like 7 times Everytime I'm making something
 
R

_Ryo_

Member
Also, I have a very, very, hard time remembering faces. Like, I can't even describe what my parents look like.
 
W

Wowfunhappy

Member
I can't tie a bow. This includes shoe laces. I've tried to learn all the different methods and tricks people have, my fingers just can't seem to finish the action in 75%+ of cases.

I just wear slip ons.
 
A

AlexBasch

Member
Driving. The mental stress and the panic attacks were too much to endure. I know how, but I stopped doing it, I just can't. Luckily, only my dad harasses me about it, my girlfriend and my few friends aren't pissed or "cringe" at the idea that I rely on Uber rides. Still sucks, to be honest.

And being social. I really can't stand talking to people, but my job forces me to do it, so it's either that or finding another job, which isn't a real option. Hell, I even have a empty friend list on my consoles and Steam.
 
cheebdragonite

cheebdragonite

Member
Whistling
Using chopsticks effectively
Opening up flat plastic bags

LegendofLex said:
- Drive a conversation (I can play off of other more sociable people, though); it gets even worse when it's late at night and I'm tired
Click to expand...

Also this! I much prefer group conversations so I don't have to carry through it all when it's one-to-one, unless I've really clicked with that person. :(
 
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