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When Men Cry

Onivulk

Banned
Crying is neat. I went nearly 4 years without crying and then recently I've cried about 3 times. One from happiness, one from beautiful music, and one from a great movie.

It's a great feeling actually. Idk any of the science behind it but I always feel fantastic after.

Would recommend
 
If I'm going about my business an see a grown person crying, and they aren't in some kind of physical distress that I could call an ambulance for, I'm just going to leave them be. Typically they're gonna be crying over some social thing like family problems or something and I don't want to get roped into that.

Plus if for whatever reason I was compelled to cry in public I'd prefer to be left alone as well.
 
I physically conditioned myself so that even the most stressful high emotional situations don't make me cry. It's unhealthy, caused me a lot of issues but I no longer have the ability to fix it.

I found that if I watch something emotional however, I can cry. I use that as my outlet. And I've always encouraged my son that if he's as enough to cry, then cry. He's much more outwardly emotional than I am. Which I'm happy about.
 

RinsFury

Member
I find it's better to cry than to keep feelings pent up and compartmentalized. I usually feel somewhat better afterwards.
 

Tyaren

Member
I wasn't raised that I can't cry as a man. I was raised to express my feelings and that sometimes crying and letting it all out is a great relief of pressure, frustration and stress.
Funnily enough I turned out to not cry easily afterall. I can't remember the last time I cried publicly. Probably when I was still a child.
I tend to shed a couple of tears when sitting on the couch, watching a very sad movie or game though.
 

WriterGK

Member
Everyone watch Brene Brown about shame she is a goddamn Ted X talk guru and rightly so. Men should be able to cry. I sometimes even cry when I listen to music.
 
Everyone watch Brene Brown about shame she is a goddamn Ted X talk guru and rightly so. Men should be able to cry. I sometimes even cry when I listen to music.

I find that crying from watching or reading something emotionally triggering and the crying I remember as a kid when I literally could not handle the stress of a situation are two very different phenomena. The former is a great stress relief for me even to this day. The latter is something I only associate with negative emotions and can't ever remember being beneficial in any way. Quite the opposite actually.
 
I tend to go stoic when I'm feeling down, just doing my best to not feel anything. I think I actually cry more when just stressed. And there are a few movies that make me tear up.
 
Depends on the reason and the frequency of the crying.

Loss of a loved one, some other emotional trauma, a few tears after watching a said movie.

Sure.

Constantly crying because of something like a movie.

Man the fuck up. Applies to women as well.

In real life moments of dread, uncertainty, emotion, and sadness I will not cry around others. It inhibits my reactions and my focus to push forward, and it distracts those around me who are also trying to push on.

Put me in front of a movie though, and i'll cry every time. You'd hate to watch The Simpsons with me. I probably cry half the episodes in early seasons!

My wife and an old close friend know I cry at everything. Everyone else tells me i'm very contained emotionally, and very stoic.
 

robosllim

Member
If I'm going about my business an see a grown person crying, and they aren't in some kind of physical distress that I could call an ambulance for, I'm just going to leave them be. Typically they're gonna be crying over some social thing like family problems or something and I don't want to get roped into that.

Plus if for whatever reason I was compelled to cry in public I'd prefer to be left alone as well.
Yeah, I kinda find it weird that someone would offer to "help" anyone that is crying, man or woman. I guess maybe certain people would appreciate a "there there" and a tissue, but I doubt they're in the majority.
 

WriterGK

Member
I find that crying from watching or reading something emotionally triggering and the crying I remember as a kid when I literally could not handle the stress of a situation are two very different phenomena. The former is a great stress relief for me even to this day. The latter is something I only associate with negative emotions and can't ever remember being beneficial in any way. Quite the opposite actually.

That's exactly the problem. We should never been have been told that the latter is something negative and not being beneficial. People should have embrace it even for grown up men.
 
Is there actually truth to men getting more prone to crying as they age? I've noticed I'm more affected by like movies or sad stories on podcasts nowadays and I hate it. Do I have more of this to look forward to ask I get further into my 30s?

In another note, the crying I really don't like is crying simply because a situation is frustrating. It literally accomplished nothing. I always tell my self that time spent crying about a problem is time I could be spending figuring out how to fix the problem. If it's not a problem that can be fixed then I've just gotta learn to deal with it.
 
Recently watched 13 Reasons Why and that made me tear up. Then I found out a family member is suffering from severe depression and might possibly be considering suicide and I broke down. This was all in solitude though and even though no one close to me will ever know about it, just the act of crying made me feel better.
 

SuperOrez

Member
I feel like crying in general, doesn't matter if its man or woman, puts you in such a vulnerable position that I do feel it's weak. I'm a dude. I do my best not to cry in front of anyone because I don't want to be taken advantage of when I'm in that state.
 

jb1234

Member
Is there actually truth to men getting more prone to crying as they age? I've noticed I'm more affected by like movies or sad stories on podcasts nowadays and I hate it. Do I have more of this to look forward to ask I get further into my 30s?

As you age, you acquire more baggage. People close to you die, bad shit happens to you, etc. etc.

It's certainly opened the waterworks more for me in my 30s.
 

oxrock

Gravity is a myth, the Earth SUCKS!
Just goes to show that double standards cut both ways. Men have to shove down their emotions and pretend to not feel any pain lest they appear human. Women have to conform to outrageous standards to feel adequately beautiful. As I recall, it was mostly peers growing up who gave their all to instill these ridiculous ideals. My older brother was big into this too. People are quick to throw out the "man up" or "be a man" card. Just as I can imagine one of the most popular insults to be hurled at a female is that they're ugly. Society as a whole is not as highly evolved as we often imagine it to be. In my opinion it takes more courage and "manliness" to just be who you are and ignore the constraints others try to impose on you.
 

SugarDave

Member
Macho man mentality will probably never go away. Some people cry or are more emotional than others, all you can do is try not to be a twat to others.

I've never been one to hide the fact that I've cried at a particular thing or try and make myself sound harder by masking how affected I am behind the annoying phrase "man tears". In the past, I've had conversations where I've opened up about my mental health issues and physically can't stop the tears from beginning to flow.

If someone told me I shouldn't because I'm a man, I wouldn't feel ashamed. I'd just feel sorry for them.
 

Wag

Member
I know a man ain't supposed to cry
But these tears I can't hold inside
Losin' you would end my life you see
'Cause you mean that much to me
You could have told me yourself
That you loved some one else
Instead I heard it through the grapevine
Not much longer would you be mine
Oh, I heard it through the grapevine
And I'm just about to lose my mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhr6TUUilEs
 
Is there actually truth to men getting more prone to crying as they age? I've noticed I'm more affected by like movies or sad stories on podcasts nowadays and I hate it. Do I have more of this to look forward to ask I get further into my 30s?

In another note, the crying I really don't like is crying simply because a situation is frustrating. It literally accomplished nothing. I always tell my self that time spent crying about a problem is time I could be spending figuring out how to fix the problem. If it's not a problem that can be fixed then I've just gotta learn to deal with it.

Actually back in my teens early 20's it would take a lot to make me cry, if anything. I was probably more detached and a little bit more immature, no commitments, hadn't lost any family or friends and just generally bit inexperienced at life.

Now in my 30's I find crying can happen at any times with books, games, music, films and more. Recently I was watching The Keepers on Netflix and I had a cry on one of the scene where one of the victims became a lawyer at 49. Was just so happy for her and it showed how amazing the human spirit is.

As for seeing someone upset, that has happened to me with a guy I saw crying, I went over and said you ok? He told me to fuck off. Suppose it depends again on the individual who's crying as well, sometimes people just want some space to let it out.
 
Nothing wrong with it.

I've cried in happiness, cried in sadness, cried at music, cried at films, cried at sport.

It's a natural reaction and one I am not ashamed of.
 

Disxo

Member
I am a man and I cry quite a lot.
Whether I am talking to my parents/brother by the phone.
After seeing something sad.
After having a quick glimpse of the people that I loved. (Like reminding myself of my dead grandpa after smelling cigarretes).

Quite a lot of cases actually, I dont give a fuck, I cried on my way home today after having a very heartwarming moment.

SHOW THAT CRYFACE FELLAS
 

Speevy

Banned
Game of Thrones got ya covered

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Rad-

Member
Let's be honest, we men look really dumb when we cry. I guess it's because we try our hardest not to cry and then what comes out is like a mix of holding it back and weeping. That Peter Parker gif pretty much says it all.
 

Nohar

Member
I avoid crying at all cost, mainly because of the social stigma, but also because I refuse to "break". I didn't cry in years (I am not counting the times I've felt genuinely moved by TV series and such; I'm talking solely about emotional distress here, and all of these times have been in private).
I have no problem with shedding tears of joy, or when it is over something fictional. Pure sadness however? No. I get moody, I withdraw from social interactions, but I actively try to avoid reaching a point at which I would shed tears in public.

I cried playing Undertale. That's all you fuckers will get from me!

I cried too. I lost someone not long before playing that game. I was... not a mess, but quite fragile. The game helped me to move on, in its own way.
 

Dead Guy

Member
I think most people here have already nailed it with how masculinity has been seen for the past several hundred years and that crying is seen as weakness.

I would just add that due to this you rarely see grown men cry, so when you do see it, it can be an incredibly uncomfortable experience to a lot of poeple.

The only time I ever saw my dad cry was when his father died and I still remember how uneasy it made me
 
Culture, I guess. I don't cry very often, and when I feel the urge coming on, I do my best to suppress it. Something about it makes me feel really shitty, even if I'm alone.

Few months ago I was feelin' pretty depressed, was alone, and drinking a ton. Threw on a CD and started surfing the net, and I dunno, emotionally I kind of burst for a bit.

I think it was a good thing really, to get some of that shit out, but I still don't like that it happened.
 

jb1234

Member
When I first came down with my chronic illness, I cried a LOT. Like daily. But especially in the last couple of years, the tears stopped and I've become numb to most emotions.

(Sometimes movies still get me, though, especially if I relate to the characters and situations they're in.)
 

Dereck

Member
I've cried twice within the last 8 months which is more times than I've cried in the last 7 years, no regrets or embarrassment about it.
 

SomTervo

Member
Yes, it is weird. I agree with you. There is a serious social stigma surrounding it that seems to go back to the dawn of civilization or earlier. I have always been someone prone to becoming emotional (see, it's even hard to say "prone to tearfulness") like when watching a movie or getting into a miscommunication with someone or something, and always feel embarrassed of it.

It doesn't go back anywhere. It goes back and forth from stigmatised to not throughout history.

At the turn of the 19th century "sentimentality" was all the rage and the more a guy cried at stuff the more he was respected.
 

SummitAve

Banned
I don't know anybody in real life who would care if a man was crying. I think this is more of a percieved thing as a result of cliche being used in various forms of media. I mean maybe it is in some tough guy inner city or rural circles, but that isn't representative of shit.
 

Darklor01

Might need to stop sniffing glue
Crying is neat. I went nearly 4 years without crying and then recently I've cried about 3 times. One from happiness, one from beautiful music, and one from a great movie.

It's a great feeling actually. Idk any of the science behind it but I always feel fantastic after.

Would recommend
Watch A Dog's Purpose or that scene from the beginning of the movie Up.
 

maomaoIYP

Member
The sight of a crying man usually unnerves me, we've been so conditioned not to cry that if I see a man crying, my assumption is that his situation is so dire that nothing I can do will help him.

Also maybe related to this is that I've mastered the art of crying completely silently. A few years ago I was crying so hard in my work cubicle that I got my desk all wet but my immediate neighbor had no idea at all.
 

jwk94

Member
Women can't wear the same outfit to a wedding and a funeral. Men can.

Can't you get two different dresses, though? I have two suits that I alternate depending on the situation.

Sure, now which one of the plethora of dresses should I wear? Because society says I should have 1 of everything or else I am boring or curmudgeonly.

Isn't that what this whole thread is about? Screw society and wear what works for you.
 

Lynd7

Member
I dunno, I was brought up with crying being ok. Sometimes it feels good to let it out like that.

Although between my early 20s and now (30) I have found I haven't been able to really, maybe nothing sad enough has happened, but I find it physically harder to now it feels.
 

entremet

Member
Why is men crying still seen as a sign of weakness and why do some people (myself included) not think to offer assistance when we do see them crying? (As rare it might be)

I've been thinking about this for a few hours and I get the argument about masculinity, not showing emotions, etc but is that still an acceptable argument?

I ask because I saw a guy crying earlier and then noticed a few others walking past and laughing at him and mouthing what clearly looked like 'pussy' to each other.

I also noticed that no-one (myself included) wanted to offer assistance. It only occured to me after the fact (even then I rationaled it by saying he probably wouldn't have wanted my help), whereas if it was a crying woman I probably would have offered a tissue and asked if everything was okay.

Isn't it weird that we still have a social hangup on offering help to a crying man?
It was not historically if you read ancient texts. Kings were depicted as crying. It’s rather new though in human history.
 
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