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Bowel-Gaf, emergency help needed.

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C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Before I write ANYTHING else, I already contacted the hospital and I'll give you their take soon.


I've been trying for 2 hours now, and this has to be the worst shit ( getting the puns out of the way early ) I've been through. Finally I gave up and "it" receeded painfully.

In the essence of brevity and for the sake of keeping it civil I'll post this pic explaining the feeling and what I almost assume is pretty much an apt visualization of the real thing. Pushing will only make me bleed more and hurt. Nothing is moving.

2e3pkr9.png




* I'm on a lowcarb diet, reaching the end of my 4th week as of today. Getting less than 20g of carbs ( almost all of which are fibers nonetheless )

* I've been constipated before but this was something else, it felt like a rock, I even saw a drop of blood ...

*I tried lubrication with olive oil, reading a book, taking it easy, breathing slowly focusing etc etc blablabal, nothing worked. At ALL.


Alright...

So obviously I called the hospital and my god this was worse than any tech support I've been through..

They put my through to a nurse and here is the gist of it :

me : explaining my situation
nurse : did you say you were on a low-carb diet? What kind of bizarre diet is that?And why the heck are you on it? ( thats a quote and literally the first thing she said after " hello how may I help you ")

me : *Stunned* uhm, low-carb is err...well I'm trying to lose weight so...
nurse : *interrupts me* Well stop it immediatlely, you gotta eat fibers ( goes on a rant about my diet , which I already know and concurred contributes to my situation )
nurse : *still ranting*

me : please, what should I do?
nurse : there are laxatives.
me : all the pharmacies are closed for another 10 hours
nurse : if your situation gets worse,, you should visit the hospital.

me : but will laxatives really help? I mean I'm "carrying" a rock down there.
nurse : I cant give a diagnosis. Bye




Alright, so what do I want from gaf? Well answers and help obviously. Right now, my body feels "ok", I dont have the sensation that I need to go. But I AM aware that there is alot down there that has to get out.

I'm afraid that waiting til tomorrow will make things worse but I feel that simple fears don't constitute a trip to the emergency ( again, I feel "ok" now ".


Ok, if there is ONE question I want answered is :

- Will laxatives help even at this late stage of constipation or do I need medical help from the hospital?



I dont know what else to write so... hopefully someone will set my fears to rest.
 
M

Mik2121

Member
Checks image.. *oh, a long 'O'..*

*Starts Reading thread..*

WTF????

*Checks Title*

Wait, that says "Bowel", not "Vowel".. fuuuu..

*Leaves thread*
 
M

madara

Member
By god dont force it. I did after my first surgery and had to go back to hospital and could not sleep right for two weeks until the swelling went down. Take your time, try not panic, make slow downward movements with your hands over your stomach. Stool softner pill isnt a bad idea.
 
G

Gaborn

Member
This won't end well:

Psshh. That's nothing. I went without crapping for almost three weeks once when I was little, because I thought it was "fun" to "defeat" the urge to crap. Worst idea ever. The end result? A visit to the doctor to lubricate my asshole, over three hours of pushing and straining on the john before anything started showing itself, and then one of my parents had to physically, with hands ineffectually wrapped in toilet-paper, drag the hulking, rock-hard beast out. I KNOW what women go through when they give birth. So, er, the moral should be to eat lots of fiber, drink lots of water, and for the love of all that is good and holy, take a shit when your body wants to.
Click to expand...
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Fucking hell

You guys are scaring me. I thought laxatives where for someone in my situation
 
R

Relix

he's Virgin Tight™
Corky said:
Fucking hell

You guys are scaring me. I thought laxatives where for someone in my situation
Click to expand...

If the shit can't come out what's the deal with pushing even more of it out?
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Relix said:
If the shit can't come out what's the deal with pushing even more of it out?
Click to expand...

maybe I'm mixing laxatives and stool softeners together. It is TOO hard to come out naturally, the turtling is soo minimal that I cant even pull it out physically :[
 
W

wenis

Registered for GAF on September 11, 2001.
Grabs water, takes beano, fiber pills...

yeah good luck with that.

btw what episode of southpark is that?:lol
 
S

SnakeswithLasers

Member
Corky said:
Fucking hell

You guys are scaring me. I thought laxatives where for someone in my situation
Click to expand...
Go to the doctor. They'll probably just give you an enema and it'll be good.

Also, are you sure you're not addicted to pain pills?

Edit: And I'm pretty sure laxatives and such are too late for you. The work while it's still forming deep within your craggy tunnel, not when it's crowning on your asshole. But I may be wrong.
 
S

Spoo

Member
Corky said:
Fucking hell

You guys are scaring me. I thought laxatives where for someone in my situation
Click to expand...

Corky, there is no possible way your shit will stay there forever. Drink plenty of water, and, if you feel you can squeeze even a bit out, go ahead and try. Try eating pears if you get hungry.

Just give it time.
 
C

CrankyJay

Banned
CSI person: It seems the victim couldn't perform a bowel movement because he was on a low-carb diet.

Horatio: You could say...

His dilemna is...

A bit corky

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
 
S

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
Is there a Bowel-Gaf?
Anyways, the doctor will probably have to use a metal clamp to pull that out. It won't feel good but it's your only hope.
 
G

GDGF

Soothsayer
There is this citrus tasting stuff that makes you take an epic shit. You need it. It's called Magnesium Citrate or something. Drink the whole bottle.

WAL06670_89917_5.JPG


Buy this tomorrow and drink the whole bottle. It's over the counter.
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Shick Brithouse said:
I somehow missed the part where you "lubricated with olive oil". :lol :lol :lol
Click to expand...

xD come on dawg I was desperate, its not like I want to smear my shit with vaseline. I'm pouring some olive oil on that shit.
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
SnakeswithLasers said:
Go to the doctor. They'll probably just give you an enema and it'll be good.

Also, are you sure you're not addicted to pain pills?
Click to expand...

I will get some in later in a couple of hours , 8 or so.

I'm not sure what you mean with that pain pill thing. I never take pain pills :eek:
 
C

ClovingWestbrook

Banned
Corky said:
Before I write ANYTHING else, I already contacted the hospital and I'll give you their take soon.


I've been trying for 2 hours now, and this has to be the worst shit ( getting the puns out of the way early ) I've been through. Finally I gave up and "it" receeded painfully.

In the essence of brevity and for the sake of keeping it civil I'll post this pic explaining the feeling and what I almost assume is pretty much an apt visualization of the real thing. Pushing will only make me bleed more and hurt. Nothing is moving.

2e3pkr9.png




* I'm on a lowcarb diet, reaching the end of my 4th week as of today. Getting less than 20g of carbs ( almost all of which are fibers nonetheless )

* I've been constipated before but this was something else, it felt like a rock, I even saw a drop of blood ...

*I tried lubrication with olive oil, reading a book, taking it easy, breathing slowly focusing etc etc blablabal, nothing worked. At ALL.


Alright...

So obviously I called the hospital and my god this was worse than any tech support I've been through..

They put my through to a nurse and here is the gist of it :

me : explaining my situation
nurse : did you say you were on a low-carb diet? What kind of bizarre diet is that?And why the heck are you on it? ( thats a quote and literally the first thing she said after " hello how may I help you ")

me : *Stunned* uhm, low-carb is err...well I'm trying to lose weight so...
nurse : *interrupts me* Well stop it immediatlely, you gotta eat fibers ( goes on a rant about my diet , which I already know and concurred contributes to my situation )
nurse : *still ranting*

me : please, what should I do?
nurse : there are laxatives.
me : all the pharmacies are closed for another 10 hours
nurse : if your situation gets worse,, you should visit the hospital.

me : but will laxatives really help? I mean I'm "carrying" a rock down there.
nurse : I cant give a diagnosis. Bye




Alright, so what do I want from gaf? Well answers and help obviously. Right now, my body feels "ok", I dont have the sensation that I need to go. But I AM aware that there is alot down there that has to get out.

I'm afraid that waiting til tomorrow will make things worse but I feel that simple fears don't constitute a trip to the emergency ( again, I feel "ok" now ".


Ok, if there is ONE question I want answered is :

- Will laxatives help even at this late stage of constipation or do I need medical help from the hospital?



I dont know what else to write so... hopefully someone will set my fears to rest.
Click to expand...

Hey man, I can sympathize. I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and have at times not been able to go for a week or more. Definitely feel your pain. I have been on everything you can imagine. Here is the best stuff that works IMMEDIATELY!

395792275_aee861cf6b.jpg


Its whats used for prepping for a colonoscopy. It literally cleans you out. Unfortunately a physician will have to prescribe it. Let them know you have tried everything. If they won't prescribe it the only thing left is an enema and from my experience even that may not work. Good luck.
 
H

hydragonwarrior

Member
tbh bring a book/DS/PSP and just wait it out at the hospital - and it's sunday, nothing to lose really since ur left with two options anyway:

A) wait at home with the rock while waiting for a reply from gaf for advice

B) wait in the hospital with the rock while waiting for a doc
 
G

Gaborn

Member
Corky said:
I will get some in later in a couple of hours , 8 or so.

I'm not sure what you mean with that pain pill thing. I never take pain pills :eek:
Click to expand...

When I was having my *cough* issues earlier the doctors gave me hydrocodone in case I needed it after my release. They came with a prescription of colace (a stool softener) because hydrocodone (and I assume similar pain pills/narcotics) reduce the amount of water in shit, basically making them much harder.
 
S

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
Corky said:
I will get some in later in a couple of hours , 8 or so.

I'm not sure what you mean with that pain pill thing. I never take pain pills :eek:
Click to expand...
My cat had the same problem as you and they had to stick a metal rod up her ass to pull it out. You should just do it and get it over with.
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
LovingSteam said:
Hey man, I can sympathize. I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and have at times not been able to go for a week or more. Definitely feel your pain. I have been on everything you can imagine. Here is the best stuff that works IMMEDIATELY!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/395792275_aee861cf6b.jpg[/IMG

Its whats used for prepping for a colonoscopy. It literally cleans you out. Unfortunately a physician will have to prescribe it. Let them know you have tried everything. If they won't prescribe it the only thing left is an enema and from my experience even that may not work. Good luck.[/QUOTE]

thank you very much, I will definitely bring this up. Thankfully I only haven't gone in maybe 48hours so its not THAT bad ( I usually go maybe 2 times every 3 days or so ).

I just dont want to go to bed and have my insides rupture. But right now I'm drinking water continuously
Click to expand...
 
G

GDGF

Soothsayer
LovingSteam said:
Hey man, I can sympathize. I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and have at times not been able to go for a week or more. Definitely feel your pain. I have been on everything you can imagine. Here is the best stuff that works IMMEDIATELY!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/395792275_aee861cf6b.jpg[IMG]

Its whats used for prepping for a colonoscopy. It literally cleans you out. Unfortunately a physician will have to prescribe it. Let them know you have tried everything. If they won't prescribe it the only thing left is an enema and from my experience even that may not work. Good luck.[/QUOTE]

Magnesium Citrate is the next best thing to that stuff. Don't need a prescription either.
Click to expand...
 
F

flsh

Banned
I hope you bought some low carb milk for your silly diet :lol
Go and drink all of that milk.

*I just want to clarify that I'm not a doctor and am not responsible for the massive explosion that will surely ensue after you drink a lot of milk.
 
M

Matrix

LeBron loves his girlfriend. There is no other woman in the world he’d rather have. The problem is, Dwyane’s not a woman.
GDGF said:
There is this citrus tasting stuff that makes you take an epic shit. You need it. It's called Magnesium Citrate or something. Drink the whole bottle.

WAL06670_89917_5.JPG


Buy this tomorrow and drink the whole bottle. It's over the counter.
Click to expand...

I had to take two bottles of this crap for my colonoscopy and it causes lovely explosive diarrhea. I can imagine this rocket ship he's carrying in his ass will come flying right out from this stuff.
 
C

Cr0wn0

Member
You need an enema buy the pack of two. Do one at a time if you have to use both and your still messed up you need to goto the hospital. Good luck
 
A

ATF487

Member
LovingSteam said:
Hey man, I can sympathize. I have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and have at times not been able to go for a week or more. Definitely feel your pain. I have been on everything you can imagine. Here is the best stuff that works IMMEDIATELY!
Click to expand...

I'm not sure which IBS is worse, I have D so I go all the time, but it must be painful to go for more than a week without a dump
 
G

GDGF

Soothsayer
Amakusa said:
.....I'm trying to not to laugh dude *fail* :lol
Click to expand...

I've had my butt problems before, so I know what I'm talking about. I still have that get well card, btw :lol
 
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