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I'm sick of all the waiting...pls respond..I confessed to u...unacceptable behavior..

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L

late to the party

Member
Long story short: It’s one-sided romance. I texted her but haven’t got any reply (Seen ✓✓). I know I am done and just to vent.

Not sure if this is the right place. Anyway It’s my first thread here and, I just want to vent…

I met this girl about six months ago at my workplace (we are not in the same office though), and we started to do lunch together about once a week or two. When I asked her for lunch (I kept asking her once a week), she always replied yes and even if it’s no she would come up a reason. Every time, I brought her to a new restaurant and we did have some very nice conversations (at least to me). At the same time, I started to text (Whatsapp) her more but she’s not that responsive. I thought it’s ok because I could not expect people to reply to my every single message and sometimes I just wanted to share with her and she may not relate. Still, I always tried to bring up something fresh and relevant and encourage her to voice out her thoughts more, although she rarely did.

From February, she started to become evasive about my lunch proposals but I still managed to get her out with me. And we still had pleasant conversations when we met. I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate). I got the sense that she’s losing interest in me while I had become more infatuated than ever with her. That’s why and when I started to become desperate…

There were many times (during our lunch times) I asked her out for movies/walk in park/dinner and she always said yes. She even proposed some movies and suggested a place for us to go. But when I make a proper invitation the very next day, she just acted evasive. At first, she declined with reasons, and then she just didn’t reply at all.

I kept texting her (with things may interest her and we have in common) but she was just ignoring my messages almost entirely. I also kept asking her for lunch (and trying my best to not be bothersome) but she always rejected me at the last minute, again with reasons (about friends/work/etc.).

I knew this could not be kept long so I stopped contacting her earlier this month. Then, only three days later, I happened to see her at the workplace so I again asked her for lunch for the week before Easter… She said yes but didn’t live up to it. Since I knew she’s busy for that week so I didn’t quite mind and instead asked her out for the Easter (via Whatsapp):

Me: It’s a long holiday; maybe we can find a day free and go out somewhere.
She: where
Me: (A lot of suggestions but I pointed out what I liked the most)
She: which one
Me: (replied in detail)

She didn’t reply since. I texted her that I didn’t like that and asked her to reject me if she wanted and just not to ignore my invitations because I was sick of all the waiting…

So a few hours ago I sent her my last message. Instead of telling her I was hopelessly in love with her, I just told her that “pursuing someone desperately will creep them out… It’s better to make mistakes and then learn from them…” It’s a short message. Not sure if it means anything or not but I guess it’s my last.

OK. Time to let go now. It’s hard though…

Sorry I didn’t realize it would be this long... as I just wanted to vent.

Share if you have any thoughts/experiences.
 
S

skybald

Member
Lose a ho, gain a ho.

but seriously, looks like you didn't take her hints and pursued it too hard. That is something you need to be more aware of
 
S

Silky

Banned
oyi1ES7.gif


It's time to move on.
 
J

JoJoShabadoo

Member
The modern-day version of this novel. Read it, it might give you some perspective on how unhealthy your obsession is haha.

It's clear that no romantic interest was involved in the first place. Don't do the whole confession thing (much less via whatsapp), and keep your invitations (I'm talking about with a different girl in the future) brief, don't list out possibilities.
 
P

pwack

Member
Your text confessional is vague and confusing. That said, don't ever text her again unless she texts you.
 
M

Malvolio

Member
It sounds like you knew she wasn't interested and pressed anyway. Chalk it up to a loss and move on. Should have saved her the frustration of spelling it out for you.
 
B

Buzzati

Banned
True story: Many years ago, I admitted to liking a girl by texting. She pretended to ignore it. Thought it was a simple rejection, so I went on with my life. Later on, I came to learn that she felt the same, but preferred I told it to her face.

I kept texting her every day (just about 3-4 messages) and tried to not to be annoying, and that’s when I noticed she became even less responsive (from to a 1/3 reply rate to a 1/6 reply rate).
Click to expand...

Yikes
 
T

TunaMarshmallow

Member
I'm sure that you're a very good guy and that you'll have lots of opportunities for healthy and fun relationships. But you should probably leave this woman alone.
 
C

CarpeDeezNutz

Member
Once is enough. Texting twice and no response... Eessh.

If a girl wants to contact you she will find a way. However and by what means she will get a hold of your ass. AND if she does not want to well...
 
R

Rayis

Member
Your first mistake was texting someone you see a few times a week everyday, you came across as hopelessly needy and that just drives most people away.
 
G

.GqueB.

Banned
You need to learn about date theater OP.

Persistence tends to be seen as creepiness in my experience. You have to strike a nice balance. I just made up this analogy that seems appropriate:

Love is a highway. If you feel that you're doing all the work hit the breaks and let her catch up.

You were doing 80 and you just kept going. These things need to be give and take. The fact that you were the one asking her out to lunch every single time should've been a giant red flag. I was talking to a girl a few weeks ago and said that I wanted to see her again and her reply was "Yea let's plan something soon". Vague, non-specific, pointless. I stopped texting her ass for like a week and a half. She hit me up last night to hang out.

This is an extreme case but you can't let things be one-sided. It's murder on your sanity because you spend a lot of time waiting.
 
C

Courage

Member
.GqueB. said:
You need to learn about date theater OP.

Persistence tends to be seen as creepiness in my experience. You have to strike a nice balance. I just made up this analogy that seems appropriate:

Love is a highway. If you feel that you're doing all the work hit the breaks and let her catch up.

You were doing 80 and you just kept going. These things need to be give and take. The fact that you were the one asking her out to lunch every single time should've been a giant red flag. I was talking to a girl a few weeks ago and said that I wanted to see her again and her reply was "Yea let's plan something soon". Vague, non-specific, pointless. I stopped texting her ass for like a week and a half. She hit me up last night to hang out.

This is an extreme case but you can't let things be one-sided. It's murder on your sanity because you spend a lot of time waiting.
Click to expand...

Are you a PUA?
 
B

BajiBoxer

Banned
Leave her alone for awhile. And I think if you are interested in a woman you are probably better off telling her in person asking her out for a dinner date or something rather than a constant string of work place lunches. I've done the text/IM thing before, and it just doesn't work with most attractive women. Confidently asking her out in person will be more effective and remove any ambiguity in whether she is interested or not, rather than fuel an unhealthy obsession.
 
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