Feel for you OP. I'm in a similar boat. I'm not suicidal but my chronic pain drives my emotional state a lot of the time. I have a couple of herniated discs and a couple of badly worn vertebrae in my lower back. So the nerves are effected for both of my legs.
My pain has been so bad that for years I have felt like my right leg was on fire constantly and I can stick pins and needles into it and not feel a thing.
I recently had some cort injections in the spring and they made a considerable difference in my levels of pain.
The biggest struggle for me is meds. I have tried almost everything and Percocet is the only one that doesn't mess me up. T3s make me throw up. Tramadol and Tramacet make me pass out within 15 to 30 minutes and I have read about the high risk of seizures when taking it with anti-depressants so I've stayed away from those. Percocet allows me to feel like I can have a life. But everyone else thinks in a heroine addict because I take them. And my doctor thinks I'm the devil if I run out a day early.
The issue is that I have gotten used to them and continually need a higher dose as time goes on.
Pain breeds pain.
The brain begins to recognize any pain or stress as a level 10 emergency. It loses the ability to evaluate how much pain the body is in and the mental response becomes the same for everything.
It's a horrifying situation to be inside of.
And I am also stuck in the "hole in the bucket" scenario of, I need to be in better physical condition to reduce my pain...but I'm in too much pain to do physical activity... and physical activity increases my pain levels.
Regarding the mental support side of this battle I have found that talking to a therapist has helped me quite a bit. I have learned that we are capable of managing our pain on the mental level. Maybe not making it disappear but we can decide to not let it control everything all the time. Many chronic pain sufferers have experienced moments of joy and happiness in their lives and then look back and realize that they weren't aware of their pain at those times. That's because it wasn't the focus for those moments. Through meditation we can learn how to make some of those moments of relief happen deliberately and gain some control over how we feel.
The book I was suggested to read is titled
"Full Catastrophe Living"
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0345536932/
I haven't read it all yet (I read the first half of a lot of books) but it's a tool to continue to use to learn with.
The other tool I was given was some audio meditation tapes (they aren't tapes but I honestly don't know what to call them- haha).
I use the "10 minute sitting" meditation at least once a day and it has helped me more than I can explain.
Here is the link.
http://presentmoment.ca/Present_Moment_HDS/Audio.html
The other tool I have used on this site is the "Bodyscan introduction". I fall asleep whenever I do it but that's not horrible I guess.
My conversations with my therapist, this book and especially the 10 minute sitting meditation is the reason I'm still alive today.
These won't fix everything but finding results from using these tools was honestly the most empowering experience I have had since my injuries began. I hope they may help your girlfriend out as well.
Best wishes.
My pain has been so bad that for years I have felt like my right leg was on fire constantly and I can stick pins and needles into it and not feel a thing.
I recently had some cort injections in the spring and they made a considerable difference in my levels of pain.
The biggest struggle for me is meds. I have tried almost everything and Percocet is the only one that doesn't mess me up. T3s make me throw up. Tramadol and Tramacet make me pass out within 15 to 30 minutes and I have read about the high risk of seizures when taking it with anti-depressants so I've stayed away from those. Percocet allows me to feel like I can have a life. But everyone else thinks in a heroine addict because I take them. And my doctor thinks I'm the devil if I run out a day early.
The issue is that I have gotten used to them and continually need a higher dose as time goes on.
Pain breeds pain.
The brain begins to recognize any pain or stress as a level 10 emergency. It loses the ability to evaluate how much pain the body is in and the mental response becomes the same for everything.
It's a horrifying situation to be inside of.
And I am also stuck in the "hole in the bucket" scenario of, I need to be in better physical condition to reduce my pain...but I'm in too much pain to do physical activity... and physical activity increases my pain levels.
Regarding the mental support side of this battle I have found that talking to a therapist has helped me quite a bit. I have learned that we are capable of managing our pain on the mental level. Maybe not making it disappear but we can decide to not let it control everything all the time. Many chronic pain sufferers have experienced moments of joy and happiness in their lives and then look back and realize that they weren't aware of their pain at those times. That's because it wasn't the focus for those moments. Through meditation we can learn how to make some of those moments of relief happen deliberately and gain some control over how we feel.
The book I was suggested to read is titled
"Full Catastrophe Living"
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0345536932/
I haven't read it all yet (I read the first half of a lot of books) but it's a tool to continue to use to learn with.
The other tool I was given was some audio meditation tapes (they aren't tapes but I honestly don't know what to call them- haha).
I use the "10 minute sitting" meditation at least once a day and it has helped me more than I can explain.
Here is the link.
http://presentmoment.ca/Present_Moment_HDS/Audio.html
The other tool I have used on this site is the "Bodyscan introduction". I fall asleep whenever I do it but that's not horrible I guess.
My conversations with my therapist, this book and especially the 10 minute sitting meditation is the reason I'm still alive today.
These won't fix everything but finding results from using these tools was honestly the most empowering experience I have had since my injuries began. I hope they may help your girlfriend out as well.
Best wishes.