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Do you love your Mother?
- Thread starter threetri333
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bannedmelon
Banned
I'm certain I'll never hate someone more. I'll be mad hype for her funeral.
ultraspank
Member
Nope. She should be dead. Hope that happens soon.
My father is a hero.
My father is a hero.
RoyalLaFlame
Banned
I love her so much. The way she treats me and my family.... I put her above everything else.
Always-honest
Banned
Yes, very much.
MaddenNFL64
Member
Ya, she raised me, and my brother. We put her through hell growing up, sorry mom 
.
Love ya forever!
.Love ya forever!
Mohonky
Member
Yes of course but she's a raging alcoholic and I'm at my wits end on how to deal with it and get to either quit or see someone about it. Every night i have to watch her stagger to bed using the walls to hold herself up I just get frustrated trying to figure out why she has to drink to the point of being so trashed. Then she wakes up every half hour after going back to bed to get up and have another drink and a smoke outside, then goes back in front of the tv and passes out, wakes up half hour later, another drink and a smoke. Goes back inside sits on the couch and watches tv for a few minutes before passing out again. She'll do this till around 6am.
It drives me mental.
It drives me mental.
Bulbo Urethral Baggins
Banned
She's got demons. Every night though? Have you talked to her about it?
Mohonky
Member
EVERY night, and she is a horrible drunk, she abuses everyone, calls them assholes, says well shes better off dead, is extremely depressed when drinking etc. my old man can walk in from work and straight off the bat her first words will be something condescending or argumentive to which he'll just reply oh we started early this evening, I'm not even going to start so dont go there, we'll talk about it when you havent had a drink (by which time she wont remember or will be happy so there will be nothing to talk about).
Next day she'll be sober and she's the nicest person you'll ever meet. Everyone in the family (me, my Dad and my sister) dont know what approach to take. We've tried explaining it to her, so she tells everyone to fuck off and starts hitting it even harder. She'll push my buttons for a few weeks with it then i will lose my shit and give her the run down on how her drinking is causing everyone problems and everyone gets tired of her abusing them, starting fights, being obnoxious etc. so she'll get drunk again and blames it all on us.
Its infuriatratingly frustrating. My Dad cops the worst of it, some of the shit she says to him I just drop my jaw, I dont know how he takes it, homestly I get more worke up about it than he does because she'll say some really horrible shit about him out of nowhere. Dad just ignores her once she's had a few drinks. Occasionally he's said to her the next day when she's sobered up that he's had enough and he'll do whatever it takes, she can go to rehab, she can go back to the city to be with family there while the current job continues, whatever she wants but the getting plastered every night is wearing thin. Never changes.
She did tell me this morning she isnt drinking anymore, or at least, she isnt drinking white wine (this is the one that turns her into the most obnoxious prick and really fucks her up) but we'll see how long that lasts. On days she doesnt need to take my sister to work she starts drinking round 10am, and now my sister is leaving her job so Mum wont have to drive her, so that means she'll be able to drink more often which leaves us in a position where we're just going to have to keep an eye on her.
As to the demons, yeh her twin sister suicided over a decade ago now, she was never really the same since. She has a long history with anxiety and depression (I sort of inherited the anxiety, otherwise I would have been more stable in work and honestly would have left and found my own place to get away from all this because I need a more comfortable environment to work on my anxiety and agoraphobia, being around here can be toxic at times and doesn't help me in the slightest) and the alcohol just makes everything significantly worse.
Bulbo Urethral Baggins
Banned
My god dude. That was hard to read. My father was an abusive alcoholic but this is on another level. I would have no idea how to deal with that situation tbh.
My only advice would be to seize on that statement she made about giving up alcohol-- I hope that's not a usual thing. I would try to encourage her as much as possible in the most positive way possible.
striferser
Huge Nickleback Fan
I love my mom and my step mom.
Both of them have their fault, but i'm grateful for them being a part of my life.
Both of them have their fault, but i'm grateful for them being a part of my life.
Yes, but she is clearly going through some hard times right now. She's cheating on my father and is a compulsive liar, and the littlest things can set her off. She never used to be like that, and it's only set in over the past 6 years or so. She desperately needs to get help but she says she's fine.
Mohonky
Member
Yeh I dunno, she has a particularly bad night, whether she wakes up the next morning really hung over, or just felt really crap through the night and she says she'll stop. Usually last a few days. There was another period where she kept pushing me and pushing me and I lost my temper and went off about the whole thing and she did cut down for a few nights, but gradually got worse again.
At the moment I think we're at a point right now where I think she might actually curb the consumption for a few days at least, I just dont know how to make it work longer term. We've approached it calmly and talked to her about it and she doesnt want to here it. We've just thought ok let her do her thing and see how it rides out and she just comsistently wipes herself out and then theres been the times I have taken so mucn then I've lost my cool and just launched into a tirade yelling at her about how much her actions are effecting everyone. Sometimes the first and last approach can result in an improvement but only for a few days.
We offer rehab all the time, she wont do it. I've told her if she doesnt sort her shit out I will drag her to rehab whether she likes it or not. I've tried the understanding approach, I've tried the I'm so angry and frustrated what do we do approach and yeh i dunno. I even told her if she got another drink it was going down the sink. She did so I just took the cup off her, poured it down the sink then grabbed the rest of her stash and it went down the sink as well. But she will just buy more.
It pisses me off because she is always smiling and happy and the sweetest person when she hasnt been drinking, all our family friends go on about what a beautiful person she is, but once she's had a few drinks its like she's equal in her obnoxiousness and abuse as she is in how sweet and happy she can be, yet ironically as soon as she gets into the alcohol she is anything but happy.
Last Sunday was a nightmare. I was in my room on the PC doing something next I hear her yelling shit like 'your a fucking asshole, your a dickhead, why dont you fucking kill yourself' and then I hear doors slammng and shit. Then she goes off to pick my sister up from work and I'm like wtf is this about. Dad walks in a few seconds later and says "wow that was a mistake" and I'm like wtf was that about? "I told her to cut down on the alcohol and ciggarettes, just checked the bank statement and we're spending $4-500 a week on alcohol and ciggarettes" Dad decided fuck this I'm gonna go work on the boat so she can get whatever it is out of her system nefore I come home, but she was still in a mood when she got back and she gave me some attitude and then I lost my shit and gave it to her about the shit she said and the way she carried on, told her the shit she said was out of line and she'd be best to shut her mouth and stop drinking because her alcohol abuse was causing massive problems in the family and it was ridiculous that anyone should habe to put up with what she did today.
Dad just kind of....I dunno he does huge hours at work in a high stress position so he just thinks fuck it and ignores her when she is like that, I tell my sister to stay lut of it if she does get involved because being younger my Mum just thinks she is being 'degraded' to the least important or respected person in the household. I'm the only one that sort of mediates it and then she accuses me of taking sides.
I personally dont drink, and I wish Dad wouldnt either (he has a couple of glasses of whiskey at night before bed) but I wish he wouldnt just so there would be an excuse to have no alcohol in the house, that way if I did find any I would just say well thats not going to happen and empty it.
As it stands, I'll wait and ride out this particular 'I'm not drinking anymore' down period and if it starts to pick up again I might resort of pouring her shit out again and talking about taking her to rehab with or without her consent. I know she has to consent to it but I can at least empty all her shit till she gets to the point she either caves or has to comsider it.
Absolutely yes. My mother was a little strict with me as a kid and could lose her temper at times, but she never stopped caring. She has deeply questioned some of my life choices, but they were from a position of legitimate concern. She is very much the classic mother wolf. Also my mom is a fantastic cook and makes the best cookies I've ever eaten, bar none, and the specific way she makes them is made nowhere else I can find.
My father, ultimately yes. Like me, he's not good at displaying his emotions, so he came off as a little scary to me as a kid, but he worked his ass off for decades in miserable job conditions so he could give us everything his father never gave him (or more accurately, took from him). I see more of him in me everyday, for good or ill.
Also, reading this thread makes me want to give hugs to everyone that had crappy parents. Sorry guys.
My father, ultimately yes. Like me, he's not good at displaying his emotions, so he came off as a little scary to me as a kid, but he worked his ass off for decades in miserable job conditions so he could give us everything his father never gave him (or more accurately, took from him). I see more of him in me everyday, for good or ill.
Also, reading this thread makes me want to give hugs to everyone that had crappy parents. Sorry guys.
Joe Prodigy
Member
I don't think so. She left me when I was 7. I don't really have a positive or negative feeling towards her.
CountAntonius
Member
Indescribable amounts. The same goes for my Father. I am very fortunate.
King Cobra
Banned
I most certainly do. I love her to the point that in thank my lucky stars that she is less than 20 yesrs older than me. So in my mind there is a chance that I will die before her and I won't have to deal with living without her.
CharmingCharlie
Member
Without a doubt, YES. My dear old mum has been through so much in life from her horrible childhood in Ireland to marrying a complete and utter arsehole that was my father. She only had one goal in life and that was to have a large family which was partially denied to her by nature because she was Rhesus Negative.
In the end she had my Brother first then after several miscarriages she underwent several "experimental" procedures to have me. In my 43 years of existence I haven't felt unloved by her for a single day. She brought me and my brother up on her own, holding down jobs and sacrificing food on her plate so her kids could eat.
She is now 73 years of age and her hard life has taken a toll on her physically and mentally so I now care for her and it is an honour to do it.
My dad on the other hand was an out and out arsehole. He deserved to die painfully for what he did to my mum (beat her and nearly strangled her to death). I got my wish several years ago when the arsehole died painfully from cancer. One day I hope to fly out to South Africa, find his grave and urinate on it.
In the end she had my Brother first then after several miscarriages she underwent several "experimental" procedures to have me. In my 43 years of existence I haven't felt unloved by her for a single day. She brought me and my brother up on her own, holding down jobs and sacrificing food on her plate so her kids could eat.
She is now 73 years of age and her hard life has taken a toll on her physically and mentally so I now care for her and it is an honour to do it.
My dad on the other hand was an out and out arsehole. He deserved to die painfully for what he did to my mum (beat her and nearly strangled her to death). I got my wish several years ago when the arsehole died painfully from cancer. One day I hope to fly out to South Africa, find his grave and urinate on it.
The Albatross
Member
Yes. I love both of my parents and I'm blessed to have both of them.
I had an arguement last November with my mother about how she never lets go of the past and how she needs to let her brothers and family know she's feeling neglected. She often vented to me to the point where I dreaded her calls at times. I also suppose I felt she was pointing an accusatory finger at me (though I would visit and call her often). But she was only reminding me that as you become older, friends and family will persue their own desires and lose contact with loved ones. I took it as her just being negative as usual and projecting it towards me.
I told her she was being passive agressive to the situation, and the conversation went south and she hung up on me. That was the last time I spoke to her, as I texted her how unclassy a gesture that was and that I'd never bother her again.
Last week she passed away from a heart attack before I had the chance to apologize.
I realize now that life is too short to hold a grudge to your mother. As the child, they deal with our craziness, accept us for the idiots we are, and raise us... So as an adult, whether they are right or wrong, we have an obligation to resolve issues, be their support, and love them for who they are in return (whether they are bitter or otherwise). I kinda feel like I failed, but I hope no one makes a similar mistake.
I told her she was being passive agressive to the situation, and the conversation went south and she hung up on me. That was the last time I spoke to her, as I texted her how unclassy a gesture that was and that I'd never bother her again.
Last week she passed away from a heart attack before I had the chance to apologize.
I realize now that life is too short to hold a grudge to your mother. As the child, they deal with our craziness, accept us for the idiots we are, and raise us... So as an adult, whether they are right or wrong, we have an obligation to resolve issues, be their support, and love them for who they are in return (whether they are bitter or otherwise). I kinda feel like I failed, but I hope no one makes a similar mistake.
Dark_castle
Junior Member
Is this seriously a question. That's like asking do you like free money, do you like to have sex with the person you love.
I feel bad for saying it while some of you had really great mothers who have sadly passed away, but no. My parents wanted a son, so from the moment I was born I was already a disappointment to them.
When I was a little older, they adopted a boy, and my mother turned all the love and attention to him and completely ignored me as if I never had existed.
Wanting to make them proud despite my flaw for being a girl, I studied hard in school. But she'd never look my way. No matter what I did, my brother remained the centre of her attention.
He grew up a spoiled brat, who treated her with no respect and saw her more as a walking wallet than as a mother.
She'd always talk things right for whatever he did wrong, but when my father beat me up whenever he was in a bad mood, she wouldn't do anything.
When my brother was in the slightest bit of danger she'd run off to her sister, leaving me alone with my dad.
I remember one time he thought I had broken something, which I hadn't, and he proceeded to destroy everything I had in my room.
I knew I was going to get a beating after, and I waited in the kitchen where my mum was, and crying, I begged her on my goddamn knees to help me.
The only thing she did was lighting up another cigarette. I was around 10 years old.
So no, I do not love my mother. But my grandmother.. Even though she was powerless to do anything about what happened at home, the little kindness I've known in my childhood was given by her, and it's something I will never forget.
She turned 86 a while ago, and not a day goes by when I don't visit her.
When I was a little older, they adopted a boy, and my mother turned all the love and attention to him and completely ignored me as if I never had existed.
Wanting to make them proud despite my flaw for being a girl, I studied hard in school. But she'd never look my way. No matter what I did, my brother remained the centre of her attention.
He grew up a spoiled brat, who treated her with no respect and saw her more as a walking wallet than as a mother.
She'd always talk things right for whatever he did wrong, but when my father beat me up whenever he was in a bad mood, she wouldn't do anything.
When my brother was in the slightest bit of danger she'd run off to her sister, leaving me alone with my dad.
I remember one time he thought I had broken something, which I hadn't, and he proceeded to destroy everything I had in my room.
I knew I was going to get a beating after, and I waited in the kitchen where my mum was, and crying, I begged her on my goddamn knees to help me.
The only thing she did was lighting up another cigarette. I was around 10 years old.
So no, I do not love my mother. But my grandmother.. Even though she was powerless to do anything about what happened at home, the little kindness I've known in my childhood was given by her, and it's something I will never forget.
She turned 86 a while ago, and not a day goes by when I don't visit her.
Bulbo Urethral Baggins
Banned
I've never had to deal with anything like that. I hope someone here has some advice for you. My advice is to stay positive and let your mom know your concerns are out of love. From my experience, it may take your mother to decide she's finally had enough.
Barrylocke
Member
Things aren't exactly the best between me and her right now, which is 80% my end. I feel like she's disappointed because I haven't really reached my potential and have held myself back on things I've said I wanted to do. I'm still living at home because of this and while I am contributing moneywise, working, taking classes etc. I've made a lot of dumb mistakes that have slowed down my progress, and I've probably been taking it out on her by not speaking to her. I'm not sure how much of it is shame of myself vs. how much of it is fear of seeing disappointment in her, or maybe some of it is me feeling like it's partially her fault (it isn't at all).
I do love her however. I love my dad as well, although there's definitely more personality tension between us that makes communication more hostile. Ironically though I'm probably closer with my dad currently, because even though our relationship is tense, we still regularly communicate. The only person I really speak to on a regular basis with barely any tension or stress is my sister.
I'm hoping that when I'm viable to move out and live independently so that my parents have some breathing room from me, that it'll be a little easier to communicate with them.
I do love her however. I love my dad as well, although there's definitely more personality tension between us that makes communication more hostile. Ironically though I'm probably closer with my dad currently, because even though our relationship is tense, we still regularly communicate. The only person I really speak to on a regular basis with barely any tension or stress is my sister.
I'm hoping that when I'm viable to move out and live independently so that my parents have some breathing room from me, that it'll be a little easier to communicate with them.
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