My god dude. That was hard to read. My father was an abusive alcoholic but this is on another level. I would have no idea how to deal with that situation tbh.
My only advice would be to seize on that statement she made about giving up alcohol-- I hope that's not a usual thing. I would try to encourage her as much as possible in the most positive way possible.
Yeh I dunno, she has a particularly bad night, whether she wakes up the next morning really hung over, or just felt really crap through the night and she says she'll stop. Usually last a few days. There was another period where she kept pushing me and pushing me and I lost my temper and went off about the whole thing and she did cut down for a few nights, but gradually got worse again.
At the moment I think we're at a point right now where I think she might actually curb the consumption for a few days at least, I just dont know how to make it work longer term. We've approached it calmly and talked to her about it and she doesnt want to here it. We've just thought ok let her do her thing and see how it rides out and she just comsistently wipes herself out and then theres been the times I have taken so mucn then I've lost my cool and just launched into a tirade yelling at her about how much her actions are effecting everyone. Sometimes the first and last approach can result in an improvement but only for a few days.
We offer rehab all the time, she wont do it. I've told her if she doesnt sort her shit out I will drag her to rehab whether she likes it or not. I've tried the understanding approach, I've tried the I'm so angry and frustrated what do we do approach and yeh i dunno. I even told her if she got another drink it was going down the sink. She did so I just took the cup off her, poured it down the sink then grabbed the rest of her stash and it went down the sink as well. But she will just buy more.
It pisses me off because she is always smiling and happy and the sweetest person when she hasnt been drinking, all our family friends go on about what a beautiful person she is, but once she's had a few drinks its like she's equal in her obnoxiousness and abuse as she is in how sweet and happy she can be, yet ironically as soon as she gets into the alcohol she is anything but happy.
Last Sunday was a nightmare. I was in my room on the PC doing something next I hear her yelling shit like 'your a fucking asshole, your a dickhead, why dont you fucking kill yourself' and then I hear doors slammng and shit. Then she goes off to pick my sister up from work and I'm like wtf is this about. Dad walks in a few seconds later and says "wow that was a mistake" and I'm like wtf was that about? "I told her to cut down on the alcohol and ciggarettes, just checked the bank statement and we're spending $4-500 a week on alcohol and ciggarettes" Dad decided fuck this I'm gonna go work on the boat so she can get whatever it is out of her system nefore I come home, but she was still in a mood when she got back and she gave me some attitude and then I lost my shit and gave it to her about the shit she said and the way she carried on, told her the shit she said was out of line and she'd be best to shut her mouth and stop drinking because her alcohol abuse was causing massive problems in the family and it was ridiculous that anyone should habe to put up with what she did today.
Dad just kind of....I dunno he does huge hours at work in a high stress position so he just thinks fuck it and ignores her when she is like that, I tell my sister to stay lut of it if she does get involved because being younger my Mum just thinks she is being 'degraded' to the least important or respected person in the household. I'm the only one that sort of mediates it and then she accuses me of taking sides.
I personally dont drink, and I wish Dad wouldnt either (he has a couple of glasses of whiskey at night before bed) but I wish he wouldnt just so there would be an excuse to have no alcohol in the house, that way if I did find any I would just say well thats not going to happen and empty it.
As it stands, I'll wait and ride out this particular 'I'm not drinking anymore' down period and if it starts to pick up again I might resort of pouring her shit out again and talking about taking her to rehab with or without her consent. I know she has to consent to it but I can at least empty all her shit till she gets to the point she either caves or has to comsider it.