By that I mean, I need to feel more loved and wanted, and to desire more stability in the relationship. Is it wrong to ask someone this and hope that things can get better or should you just not be in such a relationship to begin with.
Long story short, I have been with my girl for about 3 years and our relationship has been very up and down. We have broken up probably a dozen times, mostly because she never knew what she wanted. She was in, she was out, she loved me, she hated me, she wanted space, she wanted me back. Surely a lot of this is my fault for even going back and allowing someone to treat me like a fucking yo-yo but it is what it is and its in the past. Now fast forward to year 3 and after her getting some therapy and an extended break up she tells me that she wants to get married, that's she ready to move the relationship forward. And I told her that I actually was not ready for that, that I need to see some stability long-term before we take that step. I offered to move in with her and work on building toward marriage, but she will not hear a word of it.
She wants to get married NOW and she has "nothing more to give" in terms of showing her love and affection for me. I suppose after writing this all out that there are a ton of red flags here and I do believe that I am representing things fairly accurately. I guess my question to you guys is this, is it not fair that I ask my SO to consider what my wants and needs are before marriage. If there are things lacking in our relationship, is it permissible for me to point those things out and ask her to work on them or am I being totally unfair to her and asking her to be someone she is not. Thanks