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[Jhoan]

Date with the 25 year old ended. She had to meet up with a study group pretty soon and I needed to use the restroom badly so it conveniently ended for us right where we both needed to be. It was fun. It still felt like Groundhog Day where I was repeating blah, blah, born and raised in the city; blah, blah, Freelancer and answered frequently asked questions about the city but not so much where it felt like a chore.

It was fun to be walking and talking as opposed to sitting down to chat. I'll definitely follow up with her and see where it goes. If nothing comes out of it, then I think she can be a solid friend. I liked her personality and how relaxed she was. However the cynic in me says don't hold my breath and expect nothing. On the hand, those who dare win.

 

[Jhoan]

I know it's not the first nor the last time I'll mention this but why CMB lacks an alert for new messages in this day and age is baffling. I've had a bunch of messages get lost in obscurity because of this. I got a bunch of matches in the last few days and got a reply or two in before women seemingly forgot to check the app for new messages and the chat expired.

The date from the other day was a bust because I followed up with the girl the next day and never heard anything back. I suppose it's karma for ghosting the previous girl I went out with but I'm not even mad to be honest since in retrospect, the girl asked me too much questions about my job which felt like probing. I had a feeling that I wasn't going to hear back from her so it further supports my cynicism. On the plus side, I've been chatting with a 23 year old that's been constantly replying so I expect a date out of it but I'm not holding my breath.

 

[GK86]

I went on a triple date with a Tinder Group match last night. The women were cool, but not what we were expecting. One of them, didn't look like her photos. Another one, I think she had a bf. My buddies and I went in just to have a good night and meet new people. The girls invited us to a fund-raiser for cancer, so I ain't mad.

I did meet this cute girl there and got her number. Made tentative plans for next weekend.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Normally I wouldn't even fuck with a white any woman who answered "All Lives Matter" to that one question on OkCupid, but I've already put a few weeks into texting this 27-year-old, and dammit, I'm at least gonna get a date (and hopefully sex) outta this.

(we were supposed to have gone on a date already, but she was the one who had to cancel due to her schedule, and then I got sick this week and had to delay the one we were supposed to have today)

That's funny. There's way too many labels these days. Why does it make you bail out?

Oops, didn't notice this response for some reason. Honestly, I've just found that it tends to be used by people who have a very flattering view of their own intelligence. The women in my area who use it tend to try really hard to sound "enlightened" on their profiles. It's so consistent and cringey that I've decided to stop wasting my time reading these long-winded profiles by quitting as soon as I see that they self-identify as sapiosexual.

 

[Tuturu Jones]

This might come as an odd one, but a while back I matched with a girl in a wheelchair and she's a real nice gal and we're going on a date this weekend for some food or something, not quite sure yet but I'm honestly worried about etiquette, anyone has any experience with this?
I'm probably overthinking this but I feel like I'm going to become a sweaty mess if we reach some stairs or something.

 

[GK86]

This might come as an odd one, but a while back I matched with a girl in a wheelchair and she's a real nice gal and we're going on a date this weekend for some food or something, not quite sure yet but I'm honestly worried about etiquette, anyone has any experience with this?
I'm probably overthinking this but I feel like I'm going to become a sweaty mess if we reach some stairs or something.

I have never dated a wheelchair user, but

-I wouldn't try to help unless asked to.
-Don't ask what happened. Let her tell you when she is ready.
-Don't crotch down to talk to them.

Other than that, treat them how you would treat anyone else.

 

[Tuturu Jones]

I have never dated a wheelchair user, but

-I wouldn't try to help unless asked to.
-Don't ask what happened. Let her tell you when she is ready.
-Don't crotch down to talk to them.

Other than that, treat them how you would treat anyone else.

Yeah, I was thinking about that, pushing her chair is a big no unless she asks, honestly never interacted with someone in a wheelchair before. Fun part will be if this works out and going back to my place, I live in the fourth floor and there's no elevator.

 

[Jhoan]

I went on a triple date with a Tinder Group match last night. The women were cool, but not what we were expecting. One of them, didn't look like her photos. Another one, I think she had a bf. My buddies and I went in just to have a good night and meet new people. The girls invited us to a fund-raiser for cancer, so I ain't mad.

I did meet this cute girl there and got her number. Made tentative plans for next weekend.

Interesting to see the Tinder Social get put into practice. I don't have/know any single friends that would be down to do it. Do you think do you would do it again?

Normally I wouldn't even fuck with a white any woman who answered "All Lives Matter" to that one question on OkCupid, but I've already put a few weeks into texting this 27-year-old, and dammit, I'm at least gonna get a date (and hopefully sex) outta this.

Oops, didn't notice this response for some reason. Honestly, I've just found that it tends to be used by people who have a very flattering view of their own intelligence. The women in my area who use it tend to try really hard to sound "enlightened" on their profiles. It's so consistent and cringey that I've decided to stop wasting my time reading these long-winded profiles by quitting as soon as I see that they self-identify as sapiosexual.

Good luck with the date! It's not your future wife so have fun with it. Try not to let the All Lives Matter thing bother you.

As to the second paragraph, no worries man! I tend to procrastinate on things as well. I've read some really long profiles of women looking for something super specific that made me bail out. In my neck of the woods, it's usually either mousy types or hipsters that identify as sapiosexual.

So that 23 year old that I've been talking to told me that her week is busy because she has class, work, has to pack her bags, and then she's off to Florida and DC for Spring Break which starts next weekend. I don't feel like responding any more unless she can somehow squeeze a little bit of time into her schedule to meet up. I suppose that I may as well try at the very least but if she says that she can't, then I'll take it as an L and move on. I haven't had a date where I made out/got super physical with a girl since November. I'm considering taking a break from online dating for a month or so. Even "Liking" girls on OKC's Quickmatch feels like a chore.

 

[GK86]

Interesting to see the Tinder Social get put into practice. I don't have/know any single friends that would be down to do it. Do you think do you would do it again?

I would do it again. The hardest parts were setting up a date, since we had six people to try and line up our schedules with, and the initial messaging.

The messaging part was interesting. Out of my group, I ended up taking the lead. I didn't know who to focus on, so I opened up a line with all three. The convo flowed all over the place at the start, and became more focused as it went along.

The actually date part I can't speak of yet, since it took place at an event, so I/we not only spoke to them, but other people there. Obviously we spent more time talking to them.

 

[Jhoan]

I would do it again. The hardest parts were setting up a date, since we had six people to try and line up our schedules with, and the initial messaging.

The messaging part was interesting. Out of my group, I ended up taking the lead. I didn't know who to focus on, so I opened up a line with all three. The convo flowed all over the place at the start, and became more focused as it went along.

The actually date part I can't speak of yet, since it took place at an event, so I/we not only spoke to them, but other people there. Obviously we spent more time talking to them.

That makes sense since everyone is "busy" with day to day obligations. It sounds like a group conversation that one is thrust into on Facebook that gets chaotic until someone steers it in a direction where everyone participates. Did you guys agree to meet at this event or was it a preset place ala what OKC does with their events?

 

[GK86]

That makes sense since everyone is "busy" with day to day obligations. It sounds like a group conversation that one is thrust into on Facebook that gets chaotic until someone steers it in a direction where everyone participates. Did you guys agree to meet at this event or was it a preset place ala what OKC does with their events?

Yeah, we agreed to it. When we asked them out, they said they had prior plans, but that we should come. Since it was for a good cause.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Good luck with the date! It's not your future wife so have fun with it. Try not to let the All Lives Matter thing bother you.

Fair enough. Hadn't thought of it like that. I have this tendency to harshly pre-judge people from online dating as though I'm evaluating our long-term compatibility, and I think it's been preventing me from maximizing my dating potential.

I need the dating experience anyway. Still haven't gone on any real dates (there was two "friend" dates with one girl) since becoming single again despite talking with a few women for quite a while. Gotta keep putting myself out there.

 

[True Savior]

Kyledk05 you should really stop the long-term compatibility thinking. That tends to be toxic. Just go on dates. Meet people. Whatever happens, happens. Don't even spend too much thinking about what the hell are you going to do/where on the date.

I woke up early this weekend, sent a message to three girls if they were woken. One answered. I asked "Let's go have some breakfast". "Ok". The rest was a fun day with her. No need to complicate stuff.

 

[artsi]

I have kind of strange problem, I have no trouble getting matches on Tinder but almost all of them are from neighbouring towns (either 30 or 50 minute drive away). It's like my town (pop. 90,000) is a tinder black hole or I'm just not compatible with the local girls, lol.

 

[Shanlei91]

Fair enough. Hadn't thought of it like that. I have this tendency to harshly pre-judge people from online dating as though I'm evaluating our long-term compatibility, and I think it's been preventing me from maximizing my dating potential.

I need the dating experience anyway. Still haven't gone on any real dates (there was two "friend" dates with one girl) since becoming single again despite talking with a few women for quite a while. Gotta keep putting myself out there.

That's what I'm doing - thinking of the longterm with my online dating. See if a woman wants to have kids, isn't crazy, has a job, etc. As result, online dating is now a lot less fun.

Especially if you need the dating experience, just go out with whoever you vibe well with.

I have kind of strange problem, I have no trouble getting matches on Tinder but almost all of them are from neighbouring towns (either 30 or 50 minute drive away). It's like my town (pop. 90,000) is a tinder black hole or I'm just not compatible with the local girls, lol.

 

[SonicXtreme]

i got super liked by a bot yesterday on tinder 0_0

i wonder if the sap actually paid for those..

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Man, I've got no idea of what to put on my bio. I don't really like talking about myself, too worried about presenting a misleading image.

 

[SonicXtreme]

Man, I've got no idea of what to put on my bio. I don't really like talking about myself, too worried about presenting a misleading image.

for what site?

 

[Moose Biscuits]

for what site?

Sorry, for Tinder.

 

[SonicXtreme]

Sorry, for Tinder.

you really don't need to write a lot on tinder, less is more there. just mention 5 hobbies/things you'd want a partner to do with (so they have some conversation points), and maybe hint at whether you want long term or short, but beyond that nothing over a sentence or two is ever going to get read there

 

[El Daniel]

Man, I've got no idea of what to put on my bio. I don't really like talking about myself, too worried about presenting a misleading image.

Don't bother. Just have some good pics and that's all you need. I read somewhere a bad bio could put people off but a good bio will not attract people who weren't interested in the first place. I have no bio and I don't think I would have more matches with it.

 

[No_Style]

Anyone pay for Match.com? Worth it? I see some cute girls and I am tempted to go in for a month or their best value offer.

 

[SonicXtreme]

Anyone pay for Match.com? Worth it? I see some cute girls and I am tempted to go in for a month or their best value offer.

i pay for it, but it depends. have you really drug POF/tinder/bumble/OKC dirt dry?

are you ok with mostly more mature, really successful women? most are on there for marriage, not for fun. the sweet spot for the site is 26-50, college educated and a lot of them higher than that, lots more world travelers than women who want to go to a dive bar.

are you ok with messaging people with no idea of whether they pay or not (if they don't they can't reply and you'll never know if they do and just ignored it or if they don't pay) , as well as having tons of fake accounts on the site? (they smurf profiles, and when your subscription ends you will get tons of mystery likes from them, only to subscribe and not find them. this is one of the ways they get people to join the site; lots of those cuties are site made spam)

it's very anti consumer (the day my last subscription ended, a girl i was talking to offsite remarked that my old profile now was completely different, and was changed to one of these cheese profiles they populate the site with to spurn nonpayer's interest), but if you're ok with those things it's something to do. but i stress that you really should feel like you emptied the free sites

 

[No_Style]

Thanks for the impressions! I will take it all into consideration. I feel like I have exhausted my local options but that's because I haven't been able to activate Tinder

 

[Ogodei]

http://pastebin.com/T8gUd1iE

Text off of my OKCupid profile for y'all's critique.

I tend to get profile views off of my messages, which is a good sign, but then nothing. Of course it could just be that I'm not a good match for them, but no sense in making unforced errors here.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Sigh. Talking with older women on OkCupid has proven sorta frustrating so far. I've had two women who I was really hitting it off with over text cancel dates because their work lives were so hectic.

(Before anyone says it - I know that's a common excuse used to let people down gently, but I'm fairly sure both women were genuine about this? The first one actually deleted her account and took herself out of the dating game completely, and the second assured me multiple times that she hadn't lost interest and would hit me up when things calmed down.

The other woman from this post ended up getting back in touch with me today, too! What is happening?!

That's what I'm doing - thinking of the longterm with my online dating. See if a woman wants to have kids, isn't crazy, has a job, etc. As result, online dating is now a lot less fun.

Especially if you need the dating experience, just go out with whoever you vibe well with.

Kyledk05 you should really stop the long-term compatibility thinking. That tends to be toxic. Just go on dates. Meet people. Whatever happens, happens. Don't even spend too much thinking about what the hell are you going to do/where on the date.

I'll do my best. I think that tendency was a defense mechanism born out of my anxiety and insecurity. Now that I'm feeling a bit more confident, it's only just occurring to me that I don't have to make sure every woman is suitable as a life partner before messaging them. It's weird, lmao.

 

[Jhoan]

http://pastebin.com/T8gUd1iE

Text off of my OKCupid profile for y'all's critique.

I tend to get profile views off of my messages, which is a good sign, but then nothing. Of course it could just be that I'm not a good match for them, but no sense in making unforced errors here.

I know you cleaned it up since I saw your update in the Dating-Age thread (I agreed with pretty much everything said there including nixing the video game stuff) but I wanted to add that in your I'm good at section, What are you good at cooking that your friends love? And then in the Message Me section you can make a joke to do a Throwdown/cook off or something like that. Maybe throw in a joke that the key to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

On another note, the 23 year old canceled tomorrow's date so I was happy. I was hoping that she would cancel because it means that I can do other stuff e.g. either attend a drawing event that meets tomorrow night or watch my CW shows. I figured that she was going to can since she mentioned having a busy week so no real surprises there.

In any case, I left the ball in her court and told her to let me know when she gets back from Spring Break because I honestly don't care at this point. I think this is the mentality that I should always have when it comes to dating although that comes and goes for me.

I also got a few "Likes" on OKC today and like what I saw so I will reciprocate and see how that goes. One of the girls is half Peruvian, half Jewish which so happens to scratch my thing for hitting it off with Jewish girls if there's chemistry.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

So, when I installed tinder I spent half an hour deleting all the things I had 'liked' near ten years ago when I signed up to Facebook and still used it on more than a yearly basis.

Is it worth going back in and adding 'likes' for things that I enjoy nowadays? Granted it'll be mostly videogames and anime but w/e.

 

[Ogodei]

Wandered back on to PlentyOfFish and instantly wondered why i bothered. Did get a few "meet me's," but from people with usernames like "babyboo" and you think, "perpetually single isn't always a bad thing."

 

[Makonero]

So, when I installed tinder I spent half an hour deleting all the things I had 'liked' near ten years ago when I signed up to Facebook and still used it on more than a yearly basis.

Is it worth going back in and adding 'likes' for things that I enjoy nowadays? Granted it'll be mostly videogames and anime but w/e.

Likes only show up if you have them in common with someone, so there's no use really. It's kind of funny to see who shares likes with you though, it's super uncommon.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Alright then.

Man I wish I had something interesting to put in my description or interests or something.

 

[Will the Thrill]

Likes only show up if you have them in common with someone, so there's no use really. It's kind of funny to see who shares likes with you though, it's super uncommon.

It feels like 90% of people on tinder don't understand that, I always see "Ignore all my interests they are from 8th grade" lol

 

[SonicXtreme]

So, when I installed tinder I spent half an hour deleting all the things I had 'liked' near ten years ago when I signed up to Facebook and still used it on more than a yearly basis.

Is it worth going back in and adding 'likes' for things that I enjoy nowadays? Granted it'll be mostly videogames and anime but w/e.

i'm fairly positive the list of 'likes' on tinder is not endless, it's most definitely got a hard cap, i've got thousands of page likes on FB and the profile only lists like 100 or so, and i've never seen some that would be insanely common if it didn't do that

 

[TangerineCloud]

All right, I have three different first dates with three different women in the next few days. However, I a very strong preference for one of these women (the woman who got back in touch with me the other day) over the other two. How do you guys handle this? I don't just wanna sabotage my dates with the others, but I am finding that I care a lot less about communicating with them now that this one woman is back in the picture.

 

[GK86]

All right, I have three different first dates with three different women in the next few days. However, I a very strong preference for one of these women (the woman who got back in touch with me the other day) over the other two. How do you guys handle this? I don't just wanna sabotage my dates with the others, but I am finding that I care a lot less about communicating with them now that this one woman is back in the picture.

By not putting all your eggs in one basket.

You have countless examples in this thread, the Dating-thread, or threads in the OT, where people were ghosted/don't hear back after one or a string of good dates.

 

[TangerineCloud]

By not putting all your eggs in one basket.

You have countless examples in this thread, the Dating-thread, or threads in the OT, where people were ghosted/don't hear back after one or a string of good dates.

Oh, yeah, don't get me wrong, I very much want to avoid putting all of my eggs in that one basket. I plan on seeing these other two dates through regardless of how things go this weekend with the woman I prefer. I guess more than anything I'm wondering how you guys manage to maintain enthusiasm for other dates when you're excited about a particular person. I'm finding that I'm starting to check out mentally in my texts with the other women. Do you just force it? Fake it till you make it?

 

[SonicXtreme]

Oh, yeah, don't get me wrong, I very much want to avoid putting all of my eggs in that one basket. I plan on seeing these other two dates through regardless of how things go this weekend with the woman I prefer. I guess more than anything I'm wondering how you guys manage to maintain enthusiasm for other dates when you're excited about a particular person. I'm finding that I'm starting to check out mentally in my texts with the other women. Do you just force it? Fake it till you make it?

just go out with the one you really like and delay the other 2 , say you have to work OT or something. see how it goes, if it goes really well you'll know what to do but if it's not good just reschedule with the other girls. you might lose your chance but it's really draining , to me, to date a bunch of different girls in the same week, if you can really mentally juggle that go ahead but i never have a good experience with it

of course what will happen is that date will flop and the other two will disappear on you and you won't have any action for 3 months then you'll get 5 girls attention at the same time again and repeat, if you're me anyway lol

 

[Jhoan]

Oh, yeah, don't get me wrong, I very much want to avoid putting all of my eggs in that one basket. I plan on seeing these other two dates through regardless of how things go this weekend with the woman I prefer. I guess more than anything I'm wondering how you guys manage to maintain enthusiasm for other dates when you're excited about a particular person. I'm finding that I'm starting to check out mentally in my texts with the other women. Do you just force it? Fake it till you make it?

Pretty much. It helps to be a bit cynical and expect a cancel at the last minute. If you spaced them out between days and one of them doesn't go well, try not to let it shake your confidence. It can suck the mood out of you having been on back to back dates. Keep your options open because you can have wonderful chemistry with one girl only to never hear from her again.

 

[jwk94]

Does anyone know of a good interracial dating site/app? I just tried Black People Meet and you need to pay to message people. I honestly don't understand why you'd do that.

 

[Ogodei]

Does anyone know of a good interracial dating site/app? I just tried Black People Meet and you need to pay to message people. I honestly don't understand why you'd do that.

The, for want of a better word, "niche" dating sites trade off the fact that people desperate to find "their people" are willing to pay, as opposed to the free sites we're you're willing to sort through general population.

It's what ruined geek2geek, which allegedly was halfway legit at one point before ownership decided they could make more off of scamming desperate nerds.

 

[bananafactory]

Hey guys, I didn't post in here often but I did seek advice a few times and I just wanted to say thanks to this thread and everyone who put an effort into making it exist and helping others like myself out. I got some good tips on dating in general and most importantly you guys gave me the courage to keep putting myself out there. It took years and years of effort, horrible dates, anxious nights, and disappointments.

But I finally met the love of my life last fall and couldn't be happier.

I hope everyone else finds the success and happiness that I did. Thanks again to anyone who helped me out

 

[jwk94]

Hey guys, I didn't post in here often but I did seek advice a few times and I just wanted to say thanks to this thread and everyone who put an effort into making it exist and helping others like myself out. I got some good tips on dating in general and most importantly you guys gave me the courage to keep putting myself out there. It took years and years of effort, horrible dates, anxious nights, and disappointments.

But I finally met the love of my life last fall and couldn't be happier.



I hope everyone else finds the success and happiness that I did. Thanks again to anyone who helped me out

Congrats! you and the lady/boy (I'm not sure which one is you so forgive me) look good together!

 

[TangerineCloud]

Oof, got my first of the three dates coming up in just a few hours. Wish me luck, y'all. I feel nervous. This is technically like the first actual date I'll have ever been on. Not feeling super confident right now.

 

[GK86]

Congrats, Banana. Always glad to hear success stories.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Just got back from the date! We had a fairly enjoyable conversation for two hours over lunch, but it was really nothing to write home about. Not gonna write her off just yet (unless she says she's not interested anymore lol).

EDIT: She wants to make out and says she wished I had made a move at the end of the date. Nice.

Now the wait for tomorrow night and date #2.

 

[perfectchaos007]

So what's the end game for all these bots on Tinder? Do they hope to sell you something? phish for your credit card info? I mean surely they have a purpose.

 

[Jhoan]

Just got back from the date! We had a fairly enjoyable conversation for two hours over lunch, but it was really nothing to write home about. Not gonna write her off just yet (unless she says she's not interested anymore lol).

EDIT: She wants to make out and says she wished I had made a move at the end of the date. Nice.

Now the wait for tomorrow night and date #2.

That's great to hear! Especially the kicker at the end when she said that wanted you to make a move. I wish women were more direct instead of waiting for guys to initiate but it varies from person to person. Good luck on the next couple of dates. It's been interesting to see Xun's similar success after lamenting about being sick a few weeks back.

So what's the end game for all these bots on Tinder? Do they hope to sell you something? phish for your credit card info? I mean surely they have a purpose.

I think it's to get credit card info off of poor saps who fall for it and sell porn/cam girl. It's so easy not to fall for it unless one is ABSOLUTELY desperate.

I'm going to recommend listening to NPR's Planet Money #513 because economics was applied as dating advice. Then listen to the Planet Money episode of Why Oh Why, a dating podcast in which the host actually took the advice and delves more into details as to the why her relationship ended. It's good stuff!

In a nutshell, the economist in that episode recommended doing 15 minute Skype meetings with a potential match to save time meeting up face to face if there's no chemistry. He didn't expect anyone to take his advice seriously.

 

[artsi]

In a nutshell, the economist in that episode recommended doing 15 minute Skype meetings with a potential match to save time meeting up face to face if there's no chemistry. He didn't expect anyone to take his advice seriously.

Honestly it's kind of amazing that we're living in facetime era, but online dating is still like 99% text messages and static pictures.

I've had more and more girls send me (and I send back of course) voice messages or videos on Whatsapp before meeting, which is kind of nice.

 

[Jhoan]

Honestly it's kind of amazing that we're living in facetime era, but online dating is still like 99% text messages and static pictures.

I've had more and more girls send me (and I send back of course) voice messages or videos on Whatsapp before meeting, which is kind of nice.

Pretty much. Personally I rarely get a proposition to do Skype/Google Hangouts/Whatsapp these days and prefer using text as a means to a date. I don't chat quite as much via text as I did in the past unless it's with friends. However, I can definitely see why doing video chat saves so much time than spending time getting to mutually agreed place for a face to face meeting.

 

[TangerineCloud]

Will probably do a more fleshed out update later, but I just got back from the date with the woman I was really excited about. It was nice. We shared a small kiss at the end.