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[haxan7]

One time I jerked off while rubbing and sniffing my sister's panties

 

[J-Roderton]

One time I jerked off while rubbing and sniffing my sister's panties

Cutting out the middle man here. I can respect that.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

One time I jerked off while rubbing and sniffing my sister's panties

You didn’t play this game right.

But that’s ok.

 

[haxan7]

shit

 

[bitbydeath]

One time I jerked off while rubbing and sniffing my sister's panties

Plot twist: Haxan doesn’t have a sister and the undies belonged to his mother.

 

[Captain Zyrain]

Oh my.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

Plot twist: Haxan doesn’t have a sister and the undies belonged to his mother.

No. The plot twist is he’s trying to throw us of suspecting him of the cum closet.

 

[J-Roderton]

No. The plot twist is he’s trying to throw us of suspecting him of the cum closet.

A confession that shall live in infamy.

 

[Scopa]

A confession that shall live in infamy.

The poor people who bought that house.

 

[Papa]

shit

In the panties?

 

[Papa]

The poor people who bought that house.

Poor people can’t afford houses.

 

[Sqorin Hammerfarf]

You guys are all acting like you don't have a cum closet too. Ain't nobody's hands clean in this thread.

 

[Scopa]

Carpet does the job.

 

[JimiNutz]

Carpet does the job.

It's never on the carpet for long anyway since the dogs lick it up pretty quickly. Sometimes they catch it in the air before it even hits the floor.

 

[Kadayi]

One time I jerked off while rubbing and sniffing my sister's panties

Gangster No.1 right here.

There are no gifs....

 

[Fujan]

Gangster No.1 right here.

There are no gifs....

Just many, many films instead.

 

[Beard of the Forest]

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

GAFfession #1​

I suffer from such severe premature ejaculation that I can't really have sex. Like I will literally cum in my pants from just heavy kissing/foreplay and if I do make it anywhere near a vagina I cum within one or two strokes at best. Same when I masturbate (I can make myself cum in under a minute). Alcohol, delay creams/condoms etc can help a bit but only make me last a few minutes at best. I'm in my 30s as well and have always been this way so it. The only thing that has ever helped me to have a 'normal' sex life is antidepressants which do significantly delay my ejaculation. Means I have to take the medication for life if I want to have normal sex.

GAFfession #2
​

My ex and I always showered together. One time she was sitting down in the shower, and I peed on her back without her knowing.

GAFfession #3
​

So, a few years ago I thought it would be a brilliant idea to share a small apartment with one of my friends from work. It turned out he was incredibly lazy and often relied on me to pay the bills, saying he couldn't afford it when really it's because he spends far too much money on comic books and going to the movies. He also lied pretty frequently about little things in order to avoid doing regular shared chores, such as doing dishes and that sort of thing. We only had one bathroom, and this guy would seriously spend an hour or two in there shitting while watching videos or reading his comics. One day, I had to pee really badly and held it for as long as I could while he was yet again hoarding the bathroom. I couldn't hold it any longer and I was already pretty upset with him that day, so I ended I doing something I'm not very proud to admit. I took my roommate's favorite drinking glass (a prized Spider-Man glass he got at a convention that he uses over and over again all day everyday), and filled it near the brim with the contents of my aching bladder. I poorer it down the kitchen sink, rinsed it and the sink out, then set the glass back in its usual resting spot. This became a regular routine. Even when he wasn't in the bathroom, I started doing this out of spite. I even rationalized with myself that doing this was somehow saving myself money on our monthly water bill, which usually I alone was paying. He never found out about these transgressions, and I don't regret doing it to him, nor the fact that we are no longer friends. My only regret is that Spider-Man deserved better.

 

[J-Roderton]

Two pee themed confessions.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

Ha I actually didn't proper read these before posting, but yeah that's a gnarly coincidence.

 

[haxan7]

In the panties?

there may have been traces

 

[Kadayi]

No 1: The spice must flow

No 2: lol

No 3: Stan is spinning in his grave like a dynamo

 

[Cunth]

Haha number 2

 

[TrainedRage]

I wanted to stay out of this thread until it all died down. I don't want to give myself away. But im laughing so damn hard right now.
This thread deserves an Oscar.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

I wanted to stay out of this thread until it all died down. I don't want to give myself away. But im laughing so damn hard right now.
This thread deserves an Oscar.

Cum closet right there

 

[Scopa]

Todays are much better. Very good. I approve.

I wanted to stay out of this thread until it all died down. I don't want to give myself away. But im laughing so damn hard right now.
This thread deserves an Oscar.

Cum closet right there

You disgust me TrainedRage

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

GAFfession #1​

On Grindr the guys I meet and hook up with... if i'm bored and they happen to tell me where they work if it is close I sometimes drive by and shop in the stores or wherever to make sure they see me. I get a kick out of their reactions. About 50/50 are out and others not. I even go out of my way to avoid talking to them I like to see them try to avoid me or act like they didn't see me. I must have done this many times as I am a horny guy who likes hookups. It is always Safe sex of course. One guy was married and he was a cashier I intentionally bought something so he he would have to service me. He was sweating bullets and didn't even look me in the eyes. It was so good to see him sweat and suffer for cheating on his wife. I feel like im doing good deeds/evil deeds and cant say I mind. Call me the devil or call me karma either one I dont mind the title one bit. Be careful Gaf you horny chaps my next victim. MAY BE YOU!

GAFfession #2​

Sigh here we go ok. So about a year or two back I had a roommate that was really hot. We were good friends but nothing more than that even though I wanted to jump his bones but he was always avoiding the topic of sex. So I used to sometimes wash his clothes for him and he was thankful always but Gaf I was a Horny Bastard, This shit better be confidential cause I think he browses here. Why did I even start typing this ok "Deep Breath" I used to smell his underwear and pleasure myself with them BEFORE I WASHED THEM! He would get the back after and be none the wiser and he would be like thanks friend. One day he caught me with a pair of his underwear in my room I had them wrapped around my eggplant was fckng terrified when I got caught like when the door opened and he saw me my whole fckn face felt like needles were poking it and I swear to you I went deaf for about 5 seconds and heard a light ringing in my ears and the weirdest thing happened . He laughed and said fcker you better wash those! Then he closed the door and walked out then he walked back in and said dinners ready too! We never talked about it after that but that Boi knew what I was all about after that and I swear to you I should have made a move on him but after that humiliation I couldnt gather the courage to confront him. I know I know Im a monster but dont act like any of yall fools here havent done this. Confess with me and be free of shame! I would also like to add that his underwear were very clean and no stains on them regarding his booty hygiene. Maybe other stains but there were in the front (Insert a Smiley Face Here)

GAFfession #3​

I love to fuck really feminine gay guys. Easy to pump and dump, but annoying when they catch feelings. I don't consider myself gay but if there's some cute girly boy around, my dick is ready.

 

[J-Roderton]

 

[Redneckerz]

Great level these confessions have. Ah well, it was to be expected most confessions would be around bodily fluids.

Good reminder not to submit another one in the forthcoming future.

 

[bitbydeath]

Great level these confessions have. Ah well, it was to be expected most confessions would be around bodily fluids.

Good reminder not to submit another one in the forthcoming future.

No more cum closet stories next year then?

 

[haxan7]

"Deep Breath" I used to smell his underwear and pleasure myself with them BEFORE I WASHED THEM! He would get the back after and be none the wiser and he would be like thanks friend.

Nothing wrong with that. Washing them would get rid of most of the smell.

 

[Osukaa]

Wow this thread has entertained me enough to keep checking it like every 20 mins LoloL. There sure are alot of horny shenanigans going on. It's like a good trashy novel lol.

 

[Redneckerz]

No more cum closet stories next year then?

Its such a terrible meme even when you wouldn't understand it.

Neogaf 2.0: Cum Closets.

You might aswell link that old South Park Tom Cruise Closet reference and do something with it to be even more cumpliant with it.

I wasn't being ironic or sarcastic with my prior complaint.

 

[Scopa]

Bit of a theme with todays stories. I’m guessing they’re all by the same person.

 

[Redneckerz]

Bit of a theme with todays stories. I’m guessing they’re all by the same person.

Probably Cunth cuz a dirty mind is a joy forever.

 

[Papa]

Did Redneckerz just accidentally admit to being cum closet guy?

Also #3: yeah u gay bro

 

[Cunth]

Bloodnutz seems a bit testy at this time of year

 

[Helios]

I don't consider myself gay but if there's some cute girly boy around, my dick is ready.

 

[Kadayi]

Nothing wrong with that. Washing them would get rid of most of the smell.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

GAFfession #1​

Cheated on a programming practical, brought my labs in on a usb and copied the code over when no one was looking.

GAFfession #2​

Once someone claimed i was not able to eat dog food (as in dog biscuits). The person claimed got it wrong. It was surprisingly tasty, though. You would think it has no flavor but it was not bad... if you have nothing else at home. ...Yeah, that's a good GAFfession that won't hurt the bank

GAFfession #3​

I used to listen to hip hop and rap when I lived in Europe, and loved it. After moving to the US, I hate it and the culture it comes from.

GAFfession #4​

I'm a food fucker. It's true. It started when I was probably around 12 or 13. My first lay was a heated up peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You better believe that PB was smooth. (Thank you, Miss Jiffy.) Also my Mom made the sandwich to make it even stranger. I've fucked many things, and then eaten the evidence (no not the cum you filthy animals - I always pulled out first.) Let me tell you that Hot Pockets are one amazing lay, and damn if she isn't delicious to eat out too.

 

[J-Roderton]

Peanut butter fucker!

 

[Scopa]

My, my miss American pie...

 

[Orpheum]

Alright Redneckerz did you pee on your gf in the shower??? You better tell us

 

[J-Roderton]

I love you depraved fuckers.

 

[bitbydeath]

Merry Fucked Up Christmas Everyone

 

[Musky_Cheese]

Plot twist. The cum closeter, the tastycake
fucker, and the peanut butter fucker are triplets separated at birth.

 

[J-Roderton]

Plot twist. The cum closeter, the tastycake
fucker, and the peanut butter fucker are triplets separated at birth.

 

[haxan7]

Why would you pull out before cumming. What a waste of a load.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

Why would you pull out before cumming. What a waste of a load.

Are you serious? So that he can enjoy it afterward................... you can't be that dense

 

[J-Roderton]

Why would you pull out before cumming. What a waste of a load.

Have you seen the price of brand name Hot Pockets? I didn't think so.