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[Woorloog]

I've never heard the word biromantic before reading this thread. What is the difference between loving your best friend with all of your heart and soul and being romantically attracted to them? Or is there no difference?

Romantic orientation usually matches one's sexual orientation and so it rarely comes up, unless discussion involves asexuals or bisexuals for whom romantic orientation is (more) important.

I'd describe romantic orientation as need for emotional intimacy with specific gender. Though that isn't quite accurate, there are multiple forms of emotional intimacy, i think.

Sexual orientation is simpler is it is mostly matter of if you're aroused by certain sex or sexes.

EDIT Also, as noted before there are multiple kinds of love. Ancient greeks called love of friends philia, and romantic love eros. Still valid really.

 

[How About No]

I am a demiwoman. Sometimes referred to as a demigirl or demifemale. I identify with aspects of the gender binary and womanhood, but I consider some aspects of my gender to be nonbinary.

That's pretty fascinating, never head of that before! I know so little about nonbinary gender identification, but no matter how little I know, I still feel we shouldn't try to box people into terms/categories unless they absolutely want to be, I guess?

Homo/Hetero/Bi/Pan-sexuality are not adequate descriptors for my sexuality as at least 3 of them have been used to describe my attraction by other people. I prefer to use a proposed replacement of andro/gyne-philia. Every time I mention it on GAF however people are confused even when this venn diagram is simple as hell to me:

Ey, I think you posted that chart before a long time ago, I still find it very helpful!

 

[ugaboga232]

In the sense that there isn't an objective, measurable "metric" for gender. It can't be determined by any means other than an individual's self-interpretation.

Which is to say that the phrases "I was born female" and "I have a female brain" and "I own a dress" all equally have no bearing on gender.

I don't really want to get in feminized vs masculinized brains because its generally a subtle distinction and is not what people mean when they say male or female brain.

There could be a metric if you wait 50 years for brain scanning techniques to achieve the resolution and software/research to be able to interpret the data but as of now there is no gross differences. Just because we don't have the capabilities now doesn't mean we can't ever have them.

But yes gender does not fit in nice boxes really and why should it? Sexuality, gender, and sexual and romantic preferences do not have to be linked.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

I had no idea that there were people who could only be attracted to each other romantically.

Do those people just go on dates with each other and then go home and have sex with other people?

 

[Kisaya]

36 w/o, bisexual heteroromantic guy here. Thanks for the thread.

I have been comfortably closeted for most of my adult life, but lately it is starting to chafe. Coming out has gone badly in the past and that has made me pretty gun-shy. My parents, I think, believe I grew out of it in my early 20s. I alienated a couple of close friends, one of whom thought I was simply looking for a way out of my marriage. My mother-in-law thinks I'm a pervert. One of my brothers thinks I'm really gay and living a lie. The only person I have told who supports me is my spouse.

As a married father, I worry what people will think of me. I usually do not care what others think about what I do in my own life, but even admitting to this fear on a message board makes me feel ashamed. My own daughter doesn't know. My best friends. I do not know how to tell them but feel an increasing urgency to do so.

Ugh.

Stay close with the people who support you and disconnect from the ones who are harmful to your well being. Protect yourself and your family, and by family I mean those who accept you. The one thing I've learned is to keep myself out of toxic environments and love myself, even if it involves excommunicating from blood relatives. Be proud of who you are.

 

[iirate]

That's pretty fascinating, never head of that before! I know so little about nonbinary gender identification, but no matter how little I know, I still feel we shouldn't try to box people into terms/categories unless they absolutely want to be, I guess?



Ey, I think you posted that chart before a long time ago, I still find it very helpful!

Exactly! TBH, I don't feel like I know a lot either, but that's okay. Personally, I like and use she/her pronouns, and I relate to the female gender more than any other, but I'm uncomfortable with being called a woman or girl because it often implies aspects of the gender that I don't relate to.

 

[tearsofash]

i'm aromantic.

not to be confused with aromatic.

 

[pashmilla]

i'm aromantic.

not to be confused with aromatic.

but I'm sure you smell wonderful

 

[Platy]

I had no idea that there were people who could only be attracted to each other romantically.

Do those people just go on dates with each other and then go home and have sex with other people?

More like go on dates and then go home and sleep

 

[Omegasquash]

Thanks Omega, I am grateful for your reply.

Thumbs up fam. It can be tricky trying to navigate the day to day when you've got a (figurative) jolt of pain at random when walking. Still can be annoying from time to time, but it doesn't suck anymore, if that means anything.

 

[Woorloog]

I had no idea that there were people who could only be attracted to each other romantically.

Do those people just go on dates with each other and then go home and have sex with other people?

Even if two people are only romantically attracted to each other, that does not mean they can't have sex with each other. Or that they need to be poly... uh, polysexual? No, not a good word. Anyway, they might not still accept the other having other sexual partners. Might not.

Usually people's romantic and sexual orientation match though. This kind of situation is likely somewhat rare.

More like go on dates and then go home and sleep

If these people aren't asexual, they likely have some sexual needs. But satisfying those should be possible even if they aren't attracted to each other sexually.

 

[tearsofash]

but I'm sure you smell wonderful

I obviously smell like despair because I can love no one XD

 

[UCBooties]

Thank you for this post.

I never meant to imply that anybody has ground to refuse somebody to be referred to as per their preference. It was a question about reciprocal acceptance more than anything. To demand understanding or acceptance of everybody is impossible, to expect empathy and common courtesy is something else, and should absolutely be the case.

I apologize if the question came across as anything other than a fundamental analysis of the concept of acceptance rather than something pertaining 100% to gender/sexuality relationships and societal/individual attitudes, since that's a bit off topic, anyways.

I'm glad the post was helpful. I see a lot of these conversations go bad so I do make an effort to engage in good faith. Regarding my earlier warning about defensiveness, remember that there is no such thing as tone in text, so misunderstandings about the motives behind inquiry can be common.

On top of all the people that try to make transgender, agender, and gender-binary people feel bad and leading people to assume the worst, I find it's also helpful to remember that they are trying to put concepts into words that can be very hard to describe because they deal with perceptions that are wholly internal. It's an inherently frustrating exercise, and it can be very difficult to remain patient when you feel like you are being attacked trying to express something very challenging.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

Stay close with the people who support you and disconnect from the ones who are harmful to your well being. Protect yourself and your family, and by family I mean those who accept you. The one thing I've learned is to keep myself out of toxic environments and love myself, even if it involves excommunicating from blood relatives. Be proud of who you are.

In a case like this, what is your thought process for wanting to 'come out' ? Since you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what does coming out entail ?

Quoted the wrong post, my questioning is aimed at echoshifting.

 

[jph139]

I don't really want to get in feminized vs masculinized brains because its generally a subtle distinction and is not what people mean when they say male or female brain.

There could be a metric if you wait 50 years for brain scanning techniques to achieve the resolution and software/research to be able to interpret the data but as of now there is no gross differences. Just because we don't have the capabilities now doesn't mean we can't ever have them.

But yes gender does not fit in nice boxes really and why should it? Sexuality, gender, and sexual and romantic preferences do not have to be linked.

Okay, I agree with that, but you seem to be implying that there's a measurable biological grounding for gender? All of the arguments I've been hearing are that "gender is just a social construct" which would contradict that. It's why the "brain structure" argument never added up for me.

Like, I have no understanding whatsoever of biology or psychology so I'm way out of my wheelhouse here. I guess it's called "gender theory" for a reason, but the idea of an objective measure for someone's gender is new to me, and that's what the bolded seems to imply.

 

[DyslexicAlucard]

Okay, I agree with that, but you seem to be implying that there's a measurable biological grounding for gender? All of the arguments I've been hearing are that "gender is just a social construct" which would contradict that. It's why the "brain structure" argument never added up for me.

Like, I have no understanding whatsoever of biology or psychology so I'm way out of my wheelhouse here. I guess it's called "gender theory" for a reason, but the idea of an objective measure for someone's gender is new to me, and that's what the bolded seems to imply.

I'm by no means an expert, and consider myself ignorant of many of the nuances of the field of sexuality. I'm a minor in Psych, but that's mostly very generalized knowledge. However, I'd say it's the gender stereotypes that are a social construct -- that men don't cry, only women wear dresses, men are the breadwinners, pink is a girl's colour etc.. Gender as in what your brain interprets your sex as, as opposed to the rest of your body, is not a social construct.

That may be confusing, and maybe I'm getting some of it wrong. Anyone that can clarify would be much appreciated!

 

[Platy]

If these people aren't asexual, they likely have some sexual needs. But satisfying those should be possible even if they aren't attracted to each other sexually.

...or alone ? xD

 

[ugaboga232]

Okay, I agree with that, but you seem to be implying that there's a measurable biological grounding for gender? All of the arguments I've been hearing are that "gender is just a social construct" which would contradict that. It's why the "brain structure" argument never added up for me.

Like, I have no understanding whatsoever of biology or psychology so I'm way out of my wheelhouse here. I guess it's called "gender theory" for a reason, but the idea of an objective measure for someone's gender is new to me, and that's what the bolded seems to imply.

Well I am about to start a PhD in neuro so I apologize for all the jargon. I simply meant that unless a brand new understanding of reality pops up, at some point we can crack all the circuits of the brain and be able to predict how they work. All behavior needs a biological grounding in our modern scientific conception of the world and just because its very subtle and not as obvious as say having a tumor that shows up on mri doesn't mean its not encoded somewhere somehow. Social constructs are very real to the brain, it's why you 2 yellow lines on the road can have the power to keep most drivers on one side or the other.

Tl;dr social constructs have neural/biological representations too though they are above our current tools and research in terms of pointing to this circuit organization and saying this is x or y or z gender.

I'm by no means an expert, and consider myself ignorant of many of the nuances of the field of sexuality. I'm a minor in Psych, but that's mostly very generalized knowledge. However, I'd say it's the gender stereotypes that are a social construct -- that men don't cry, only women wear dresses, men are the breadwinners, pink is a girl's colour etc.. Gender as in what your brain interprets your sex as, as opposed to the rest of your body, is not a social construct.

That may be confusing, and maybe I'm getting some of it wrong. Anyone that can clarify would be much appreciated!

What you are alluding to is our learned behaviors are just that, learned and are not as fundamental or "hard wired" (i hate to use this term but it gets the point across easier) as say your feeling of gender congruence or incongruence. Different circuits with different plasticity hence why we call one social constructs and the other parts of your identity (similar colloquial distinction between psychological and physical addiction, both are physical changes in the brain but one is more subtle less somatic if that makes sense so we draw a fuzzy distinction).

 

[Kisaya]

In a case like this, what is your thought process for wanting to 'come out' ? Since you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what does coming out entail ?

Quoted the wrong post, my questioning is aimed at echoshifting.

Just because he's in a monogamous hetero marriage doesn't invalidate his bisexuality. It's important for his loved ones to accept and understand his sexuality, and so that his bisexuality is acknowledged and not erased. Bisexuals should feel safe to be out and visible.

 

[Ric Flair]

I've never really understood the need to label sexuality when it's such a fluid thing

 

[UnemployedVillain]

Actually this is a good thread to ask this. On a lot of dating apps I see girls listing that they're sapiosexual, which comes off as bullshit to me. I just don't see how valuing intelligence should be included with sexualities that seem to have more...I dunno, meaningful, traits that make them distinctive and warranting of a descriptor

 

[Haly]

Actually this is a good thread to ask this. On a lot of dating apps I see girls listing that they're sapiosexual, which comes off as bullshit to me. I just don't see how valuing intelligence should be included with sexualities that seem to have more...I dunno, meaningful, traits that make them distinctive and warranting of a descriptor

I think they're being snide, as in, "don't come off as a dumb prick".

 

[Omegasquash]

In a case like this, what is your thought process for wanting to 'come out' ? Since you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what does coming out entail ?

Quoted the wrong post, my questioning is aimed at echoshifting.

Speaking from my own experience, it was a couple of glasses of wine, watching Jessica Jones, and noting that Mike Colter is an extremely handsome man. To which my wife responded that Krysten Ritter was an equally attractive woman.

There were a few smiles back and forth, I asked, she asked, I said yes.

And then I exhaled.

It's not like there were any ground rules that needed to be laid out, because we were in a monogamous relationship and we both like it that way. I don't feel weird about it, she assured me, in no uncertain terms, that it changes zip/zero about how she feels about me, but that my trusting her with that meant lots.

And then we had another glass or two, and went upstairs to commit the torrid act of heterosexual relations (aka fucking).

 

[Reeks]

Because it's 20-fucking-17 and some idiots still think bisexuality is a phase or some shit, let me explain it nice and simple for y'all.

1. What is bisexuality?

Someone who is bisexual experiences sexual attraction to both men and women.

Someone who is biromantic experiences romantic attraction to both men and women.

You can be bisexual without being biromantic, and you can be biromantic without being bisexual.

2. But the gender binary is bullshit!

Yeah, I know. That's why pansexuality has become an increasingly popular replacement term. Pansexuality is the ability to experience attraction to all genders. If anyone wants to come in here and try to tell me that there are only two genders, be prepared to get fucking got.

3. "Bisexuals are greedy!"

Bisexuals experience sexual attraction to men and women. This is an innate part of their biological makeup. Just as straight people do not choose their sexual orientation, neither do gay people, nor bi/pan people, nor ace people. It's a part of who they are, not a choice. Bisexuals are not greedy.

4. "Bisexuals are sluts who can't commit!"

Okay. So let's say you're a dude who is married to a woman. You see another woman who is smokin', and you think "hot damn, that woman is smokin'!" But you don't do anything because you're happily married to your wife whom you love and to whom you made a vow to be faithful and monogamous. Guess what, that's how it is for bisexual people too.

Edit bc my ass has been schooled: Polyamorous people can be in loving and committed relationships too! Do not conflate polyamory with sluttiness! This has been a bonus PSA.

5. "They need to pick a side!"

Shut up. Just shut up. Go educate your ignorant ass then come back here and grovel.

6. They stop being bisexual when they're in a relationship because then they're either gay or straight!

SEXUALITY

IS ABOUT

ATTRACTION.

This has been a PSA.

Take 'em to church~

 

[Sai-kun]

In a case like this, what is your thought process for wanting to 'come out' ? Since you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what does coming out entail ?

Quoted the wrong post, my questioning is aimed at echoshifting.

I can't speak for echo, but as a bi guy myself, my sexuality has played and continues to play a pretty big part in my life, even in a long term hetero relationship. It's a factor in choosing new apartments, where to hang out, what kind of friends I make, how I dress, and how much/what parts of my life I share with people. I'm attracted to men and women, and it's important for me to feel just as comfortable saying to my partner (who has been incredibly supportive, and I love her!!!), 'wow, that guy is hot' as I am saying to her 'wow, that woman is hot'. Being able to be that comfortable with people, and feel like you're being true to yourself, is a very freeing feeling.

 

[Poppy]

I've never really understood the need to label sexuality when it's such a fluid thing

i give this a WOOOO

 

[driggonny]

It seems I missed some controversy that would have probably upset me. Apparently it's a good thing that I've been avoiding gaming side so as to not get jealous of people playing all the new games coming out.

I identify as bisexual and while my specific sexual preferences are still murky to me I am 100% certain that I have the capacity to like someone from any gender. i guess you could technically call me pansexual but I don't want to identify as that for some reason.

The constant skepticism that bisexuality elicits has given me a lot of mental turmoil over the years. Years ago when I first started to realize my attractions, I would look up stories of other people's experiences to see if I could validate my feelings. Unfortunately, many replies regurgitated things like "it's just a phase" and some people even claimed it was a result of porn addiction (with themselves as examples). I even came out to a therapist and was basically shutdown with a dismissive tone as if I couldn't possibly have felt the way I did. Because of this I've never really been confident or comfortable enough in myself and am always in a state of self-doubt with regards to my sexuality.

I'm trying my best to turn it around now, but seeing people make those kinds of statements can still get to me. :/

 

[DyslexicAlucard]

In a case like this, what is your thought process for wanting to 'come out' ? Since you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what does coming out entail ?

Quoted the wrong post, my questioning is aimed at echoshifting.

Although I'm not in a hetero relationship ATM, I think I can shed some light here. The first part is just being honest about who you are. If you are constantly hiding the fact that you're bi -- like not complimenting a male's attractiveness, as a very basic example -- it can turn into a kind of self loathing because you're feeling the need to hide who you are. As a bisexual man that was in the closet for the first 27 years, I can tell you it hurts your self esteem for sure.

There's also an element of helping out future LGBT people to come out by normalizing (in a positive sense) the idea of being bi. I know if there was a close bi family member, I would have had a role model and wouldn't have been so scared of coming out.

 

[Randam]

Gender is what you identify with, right?
Do people identify as more than male or female?

 

[Nomadic Sparks]

As someone who came out as Bi last Sunday to my dad (who didn't even care because he always has a thousand fire to tend to.) this is very useful.

Tone aside, very useful.

Looking forwards to the Transgender thread

 

[DyslexicAlucard]

What you are alluding to is our learned behaviors are just that, learned and are not as fundamental or "hard wired" (i hate to use this term but it gets the point across easier) as say your feeling of gender congruence or incongruence. Different circuits with different plasticity hence why we call one social constructs and the other parts of your identity (similar colloquial distinction between psychological and physical addiction, both are physical changes in the brain but one is more subtle less somatic if that makes sense so we draw a fuzzy distinction).

Totally got it, and I agree that it's a difficult topic to discuss without a lot of prior understanding.

 

[echoshifting]

In a case like this, what is your thought process for wanting to 'come out' ? Since you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what does coming out entail ?

Quoted the wrong post, my questioning is aimed at echoshifting.

This is the Big Question, and for me there are two major factors that have changed as I have grown older

-Wanting to set a good example for my daughter. I don't want her to grow up and find out I was always bisexual and never told her. Similarly, I don't want her to grow up knowing that I am bisexual but don't even tell the people I'm closest to. It has become increasingly apparent as she has gotten older that both of these options are unacceptable to me.

-Just tired of the sense of dissonance, of disconnect, between the way I see myself and the way I present myself. Kinda hard to articulate this but I will give it a shot. So, for example. At lunch a couple of months ago my mother was telling me about her renewed commitment to Christianity. And that she has prayed and prayed about it, and done a lot of Bible study, and she is delighted to be able to say that she thinks she has found scriptural support that it is okay to be gay. She was clearly very proud of herself and thought of this as a progressive stance. She confessed this was something that had been troubling her.

Now, as I implied in my post, I did come out to my parents. But that was fifteen years ago, I was married a few years later, and those were different times. You still had a guy like Dan Savage, considered by many to be one of the most sex-positive public figures in the country, insisting that bisexuality was not a real thing. So when I got married I effectively became closeted again, since it was commonly believed that bisexuality was a phase people grew out of. To be fair to my parents this turned out to be true of other people I told at the time, and I suspect it is generally a common experience for bisexuals in committed hetero relationships.

But anyway, here in this moment...I can tell my mom that what she's saying is offensive to me because I don't believe the Bible should be a consideration (and I did). I can argue the point (and I did). But because I'm closeted, what I couldn't tell her was how much what she was saying hurt me or why.

That is just one example, but it is the moment when I decided I have to find a way to reassert my orientation with my parents and come out to other people who are important to me.

 

[Jawmuncher]

I feel like in a poly relationship, there's always gonna be someone who gets the short end of the stick.

I'm not saying they're bad or anything. People feel how they do, and can do whatever they want. But I guess it also depends on the poly relationship rules itself. Since I know that can vastly differ as well. Some in say a poly relationship with a girl and two guys. The guys will never meet face to face. Others the whole squad is together.

I kinda don't know what I'm going on about now. But just wanted to type that out after reading the OP. I don't want to derail the thread.

 

[Nomadic Sparks]

I'll be honest, sometimes I think my sexual identity is just a hassle, like I'd be happier if I were straight. I'm a shut-in as is so it's not like I'm about banging singles or participating in pride parades, and then I feel kind of stupid thinking that because it's not like I need to put in effort to maintain my bisexuality cred.

Being a kinda shut in myself I can relate.

I was always a shut in the family when I was growing up.

I admitted my bi sexuality not too long ago because I kinda relate more to GLBT people more then usual and I'm 30 yr old autstic male from Southeastern Missouir.

 

[Nomadic Sparks]

I feel like in a poly relationship, there's always gonna be someone who gets the short end of the stick.

I'm not saying they're bad or anything. People feel how they do, and can do whatever they want. But I guess it also depends on the poly relationship rules itself. Since I know that can vastly differ as well. Some in say a poly relationship with a girl and two guys. The guys will never meet face to face. Others the whole squad is together.

I kinda don't know what I'm going on about now. But just wanted to type that out after reading the OP. I don't want to derail the thread.

Not always

it depends on a lot on the people in the triad.

I mean I know a tow transgender women in a poly relation and I always felt that they were equal to each other from what I remember.

 

[echoshifting]

Just because he's in a monogamous hetero marriage doesn't invalidate his bisexuality. It's important for his loved ones to accept and understand his sexuality, and so that his bisexuality is acknowledged and not erased. Bisexuals should feel safe to be out and visible.

I can't speak for echo, but as a bi guy myself, my sexuality has played and continues to play a pretty big part in my life, even in a long term hetero relationship. It's a factor in choosing new apartments, where to hang out, what kind of friends I make, how I dress, and how much/what parts of my life I share with people. I'm attracted to men and women, and it's important for me to feel just as comfortable saying to my partner (who has been incredibly supportive, and I love her!!!), 'wow, that guy is hot' as I am saying to her 'wow, that woman is hot'. Being able to be that comfortable with people, and feel like you're being true to yourself, is a very freeing feeling.

Although I'm not in a hetero relationship ATM, I think I can shed some light here. The first part is just being honest about who you are. If you are constantly hiding the fact that you're bi -- like not complimenting a male's attractiveness, as a very basic example -- it can turn into a kind of self loathing because you're feeling the need to hide who you are. As a bisexual man that was in the closet for the first 27 years, I can tell you it hurts your self esteem for sure.

There's also an element of helping out future LGBT people to come out by normalizing (in a positive sense) the idea of being bi. I know if there was a close bi family member, I would have had a role model and wouldn't have been so scared of coming out.

I think you all said it better than I did!

 

[driggonny]

I've never really understood the need to label sexuality when it's such a fluid thing

In a society that was completely accepting of these sexualities that might be ideal. But in a society that thinks you can only swing one way or the other it seems important to me that we define other ways of expressing sexuality. If that makes any sense whatsoever

Also, it's kinda nice to know someone's sexuality so that you know if they'd ever fuck you~

 

[Reeks]

Well I am about to start a PhD in neuro so I apologize for all the jargon. I simply meant that unless a brand new understanding of reality pops up, at some point we can crack all the circuits of the brain and be able to predict how they work. All behavior needs a biological grounding in our modern scientific conception of the world and just because its very subtle and not as obvious as say having a tumor that shows up on mri doesn't mean its not encoded somewhere somehow. Social constructs are very real to the brain, it's why you 2 yellow lines on the road can have the power to keep most drivers on one side or the other.

Tl;dr social constructs have neural/biological representations too though they are above our current tools and research in terms of pointing to this circuit organization and saying this is x or y or z gender.

.

Welp, I'm about to defend my thesis (devo neuro) and sure, everything has a neural basis. I agree and disagree with you. Understanding the circuitry doesn't necessarily mean we'll get all the answers, though. Why? Because there are emergent phenomena in complex circuits (and some seemingly simple circuits) i.e. strange attractors, For instance, we've had the (fairly simple) circuits in c. elegans mapped out for some time now, yet there is still a lot we don't understand. It's why early swweping claims of the connectome project are deeply flawed. And while some circuits seem canonical or hardwired, even those are quite plastic. Taking this much further, it's why neuroscientists avoid conversations about consciousness like the plague (except for emeritus professors with nothing to lose, heh). I digress. Where I agree with you is that we simply don't have to tools to talk about these complex ideas of 'humanness' scientifically, so we don't. And as someone who has been humbled, I urge you to be careful with language because we can come off as dismissive or patronizing to others.

 

[Platy]

I like the food test.

If a person don't eat meat, even if tasted meat accidentaly the person will still keep being a vegetarian.

If a person hates vegetables it will still hate vegetables even if someone puts something on their burguer.

If a person eats both meat and vegetables, it is not because the person is on a full meat barbecue that it does not mean the person still likes vegetables.

If the person made a commitment of fidelity to vegetables, then the person will not eat meat till it end's it's commitment

 

[Majmun]

My neighbour is a bisexual woman. She's married with her husband for almost 25 years now. And yes, she still finds women sexually attractive. It's not as if she's turned straight after her marriage all of a sudden. And yes, she's only having sex with her husband. But that doesn't stop her from finding someone else sexually attractive as well.

Can't believe how people don't understand how sexuality works.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

36 w/o, bisexual heteroromantic guy here. Thanks for the thread.

I have been comfortably closeted for most of my adult life, but lately it is starting to chafe. Coming out has gone badly in the past and that has made me pretty gun-shy. My parents, I think, believe I grew out of it in my early 20s. I alienated a couple of close friends, one of whom thought I was simply looking for a way out of my marriage. My mother-in-law thinks I'm a pervert. One of my brothers thinks I'm really gay and living a lie. The only person I have told who supports me is my spouse.

As a married father, I worry what people will think of me. I usually do not care what others think about what I do in my own life, but even admitting to this fear on a message board makes me feel ashamed. My own daughter doesn't know. My best friends. I do not know how to tell them but feel an increasing urgency to do so.

Ugh.

yo join us in the lgbtq+ thread~ <3

 

[Milksheikhs]

I feel like in a poly relationship, there's always gonna be someone who gets the short end of the stick.

I'm not saying they're bad or anything. People feel how they do, and can do whatever they want. But I guess it also depends on the poly relationship rules itself. Since I know that can vastly differ as well. Some in say a poly relationship with a girl and two guys. The guys will never meet face to face. Others the whole squad is together.

I kinda don't know what I'm going on about now. But just wanted to type that out after reading the OP. I don't want to derail the thread.

In my case, I'm married to a man. Have a serious girlfriend and am open to casually dating others *note dating*. Neither my spouse nor I are interested in sharing partners at all.

It definitely comes with its challenges. But I find with communication and time management, it's extremely rewarding to explore emotional relationships with others.

 

[echoshifting]

yo join us in the lgbtq+ thread~ <3

I lurk >.>

You're right though I should post. Thanks for the invite

 

[RatskyWatsky]

I lurk >.>

You're right though I should post. Thanks for the invite

first step to being more 'open and out' = post about it on the internet! :]

 

[John Kowalski]

I would say i am incidentally homosexual

 

[How About No]

Hmm TIL that "squishes" exist (nonromantic "friend crushes" basically)

Found that googling aromanticism and thought that was interesting

Sometimes I sorta wonder if I'm aromantic, but that's really me being a stupid hypochondriac drawing conclusions too soon, since I've never had the chance to experience a romantic relationship lmao

But I also never really felt like was was "missing" something from never having a relationship so hmm...

 

[Kangi]

first step to being more 'open and out' = post about it on the internet! :]

Loudly and frequently. Make up for lost time.

By the way I'm gay. Very gay.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Loudly and frequently. Make up for lost time.

By the way I'm gay. Very gay.

yes.

and post lots of gifs of hot men to make up for lost time TBH

 

[BossDarkseid]

Ohhh so that's what pansexual means.

Cool post, Pash. Taught me some new things

 

[theaffection]

Just fuck who you want to fuck and love who you wanna love. Why does it need a label? Why does it need terms? Why does it need an explanation? Its just vibez. &#128532;&#128532;