Gucci Messiah
Banned
Sorry but that was a stupid move. Are you a robot with no emotions? Of course giving back a gift was going to piss her off. Christ.
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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
- Start date
- Status
Cheers. I've got my first 'official' date with girl B tonight. It's probably the last chance we'll get to hang out before we go our separate ways for the holidays. Her brother drunkenly ragged on me for not having kissed her yet (she's a good girl, and she's a close friend in a circle of close friends, so I wanted to take it slow) and all signs seem to indicate she's into me. But once I actually have feelings for a girl I hit some sort of mental roadblock and get way too shy to initiate any sort of physical contact without being drunk. It's a problem. I know for a fact that if I don't kiss her tonight she's going to think I just see her as a friend and that'll probably be it in terms of trying to take the relationship somewhere. I want nothing more than to kiss her tonight too but man, like I said I care about her and for some reason that makes it all the more difficult for me to make the move, despite being almost completely sure it'll be reciprocated.
tldr: good ways to go in for that first kiss?
Gucci Messiah
Banned
Glad to hear you're going after girl B! However, I have that same roadblock mentality unless I'm drunk so I can't help you there. What did you decide to do about girl A?
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
EDIT: Just being a little anxious so don't worry ^^
Whats up guys, i decided to ask opinions about a girl, ill try to make this as short as possible
Two months ago i meet this girl, asian not too tall but i find her cute, anyway i started talking to her, even got her phone number.
Last week i asked her out, and she said yes. The last time a saw her i even gave her a gift (kinda silly a chocolate but whatever...)
The thing is that one of her close friends told me she sees me as a friend.
Am i really in the friend Zone now??
And what can i do now??
As Usual thanks for those who help
------------------------------------
On a side note: Al those things (asking a girl out, getting numbers and so on) where inexisten on my life, i been improving since OT2 but i still hadnt any luck. Anyway i keep trying
Two months ago i meet this girl, asian not too tall but i find her cute, anyway i started talking to her, even got her phone number.
Last week i asked her out, and she said yes. The last time a saw her i even gave her a gift (kinda silly a chocolate but whatever...)
The thing is that one of her close friends told me she sees me as a friend.
Am i really in the friend Zone now??
And what can i do now??
As Usual thanks for those who help
------------------------------------
On a side note: Al those things (asking a girl out, getting numbers and so on) where inexisten on my life, i been improving since OT2 but i still hadnt any luck. Anyway i keep trying
Count Dookkake
Member
You effed yourself.
Never give gifts until you have had sex or are already a couple.
Never give gifts until you have had sex or are already a couple.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
What Count said.
Early dating is mostly demonstrating value. It sounds like you made it obvious you're too easy to get.
Early dating is mostly demonstrating value. It sounds like you made it obvious you're too easy to get.
manfestival
Member
I am a gemini
Well I'll Be Damned
Thanks for the advices guys, it seems all of you coincide that i fucked up, wont happen again
The gift was what killed it i guess
WascallyWabbit
Member
The best way to get out of the friend zone is to move on, she might end up pursuing you. Just try not to be too available for her.
PflargBlarg
Member
Never ever with the gifts until your relationship is way official.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I don't think that one thing is a problem. I'm just taking it as a hint that you were totally into this one and showed it in many ways.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Interesting, I guess I should start observing this.
Been dating a girl for about 2 months, got her a small gift for x-mas (a book). Would you guys not give a gift in my case? We are definitely not a couple
This seems relevant with X-Mas coming up
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
2012 has actually been a relatively good year for me with respect to the womens thanks in no small part to Dating-Age 2 and 3. I used to be depressed, bitter, kissless, and ignorant of how to navigate social situations. Over this year, however, I've made out with a few gurls, gone on a few dates, my confidence has went way up, I'm pretty content with life (or at least able to cope when things don't go my way), and overall very optimistic about the future. Getting depressed and bitter nowadays is pretty rare. I still have a looong ways to go before I get where I want to be (which for me is being independent, finding a good career, and consistently getting dates) but it's been pretty cool so far. Experience has been the main thing to help me along for the most part. Chatting girls up isn't only a good way to know how to better chat girls up, it helps you kind of know what kinda person you are as well. 2013 will be better.
WascallyWabbit
Member
That's good stuff man. I hope the momentum from 2012 will bring you to new heights in 2013!
Great attitude, man. That's going to go so far in helping you get to where you want to be.
NeOak
Member
Water fowl/human female marriage!
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
This is a great story about improving, gives me hope about myself and getting better
----
On the original topic: I think Liu Kang BaP hit the jackpot, i was too obvious and the chocolate was the last hit into the friend zone
Sanky Panky
Banned
Anal.
manfestival
Member
Question: I am going out with a group of friends to a popular salsa spot and a couple of them are encouraging me to invite Melissa(lady that im interested in). However, in my previous post I stated that I will be seeing her wednesday and two weeks after that we planned to hang out on saturday. 1. I feel like it might come across as too strong to ask her to hang out again tonight and 2. There is a guy going as part of the group that I have seen flirt with every woman and will compete with me for her attention without a doubt. Should I invite her? My gut tells me no and im inclined to go with my gut on this one
Sanky Panky
Banned
Do you think she'll genuinely have fun dancing salsa, and more specifically, dancing salsa only with you? If you do take her, she's your date.
If you are confident that you can show her a good time by yourself, then do it. If you want her to tag along in the hopes that she's not taken away by someone else, don't. Salsa dancing is one of the easiest ways to get sharked.
So Zelda finally came around, eh?
manfestival
Member
I think she would have genuinely a good time and everytime I have seen her(even the day we met)... its been primarily her and I hanging out. As for tonight, I suppose I am just gonna play it safe now. Gonna see her tomorrow anyways, but thats just my rationalization ...
Go with your gut. You'll see her tomorrow, like you said.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
I like you
PflargBlarg
Member
Well it's over with her. The other guy she was seeing asked her to be official and she went with it.
I know I'll get over it pretty quick but I still feel like shit. You always start wondering what you fucked up. In talking with her, I really should have asked her what was up with what appeared to be flakiness way earlier. Instead I just assumed non-interest and let it go.
I'm not saying anything would have turned out differently if I had asked her about it, but it would have been one less question mark.
I'm taking this as a learning experience. It's been a while since I've been in any sort of relationship and I let my happiness at gaining the attention of a sweet, beautiful girl overrule the nuts and bolts of making a potential relationship work. Basically, I invested too much and didn't 'call her' on something that I should have because I was afraid of losing her. If calling her on it resulted in things ending, well that's where I am now any way, and I would have saved a couple months of time and some emotional stress.
This experience has also restarted my engines so to speak. I never put much effort into approaching girls, but if I could attract someone like this girl while putting literally zero effort into it (ok, I asked her if she was feeling alright, that was it), then why not? It was fun while the good times lasted and I figure more experience leads to more success.
EDIT: I guess the crappy part about this is, being close friends, it's pretty much impossible to avoid seeing her. Being in the same D&D group, which of course, meets tomorrow.
I know I'll get over it pretty quick but I still feel like shit. You always start wondering what you fucked up. In talking with her, I really should have asked her what was up with what appeared to be flakiness way earlier. Instead I just assumed non-interest and let it go.
I'm not saying anything would have turned out differently if I had asked her about it, but it would have been one less question mark.
I'm taking this as a learning experience. It's been a while since I've been in any sort of relationship and I let my happiness at gaining the attention of a sweet, beautiful girl overrule the nuts and bolts of making a potential relationship work. Basically, I invested too much and didn't 'call her' on something that I should have because I was afraid of losing her. If calling her on it resulted in things ending, well that's where I am now any way, and I would have saved a couple months of time and some emotional stress.
This experience has also restarted my engines so to speak. I never put much effort into approaching girls, but if I could attract someone like this girl while putting literally zero effort into it (ok, I asked her if she was feeling alright, that was it), then why not? It was fun while the good times lasted and I figure more experience leads to more success.
EDIT: I guess the crappy part about this is, being close friends, it's pretty much impossible to avoid seeing her. Being in the same D&D group, which of course, meets tomorrow.
Count Dookkake
Member
texting. just leave out the nookie part. sounds good to me, i think i can make that work.
Count Dookkake
Member
No, that's not what I meant.
I mean, don't have these sorts of conversations via text. Too many ways to eff yourself.
I mean, don't have these sorts of conversations via text. Too many ways to eff yourself.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
Sounds like a solid plan. Let us know how it works out.
Just found out earlier that my girlfriend of almost a year is intensely homophobic. I was working on my laptop and she leaned over to show me a Facebook photo from a gay rights support page showing two men at a wedding together and she called it "gross". I then told her that someday a new generation of people our age are going to look back on her with the same disgust that we do when we hear stories of Southern plantation owners and their slaves. She seemed to think it was a joke and laughed it off like it was one of my shitty puns.
This discovery wasn't too shocking for me, she's always been one of those on-and-off evangelical Christians from a historically conservative family. Older members of her family take issue with her dating an Italian man, even going as far as to say that all Italians are full of themselves. A bit of an odd opinion to have considering they live in one of the largest refuge centers in New York.
Still though, I'm disappointed by how clingy people can be to opinions about the world they form (or are spoonfed) when they're so young.
I guess it just hurts twice as much seeing this ignorance from someone so close to me. It's a very depressing realization for me...
Any advice GAF?
This discovery wasn't too shocking for me, she's always been one of those on-and-off evangelical Christians from a historically conservative family. Older members of her family take issue with her dating an Italian man, even going as far as to say that all Italians are full of themselves. A bit of an odd opinion to have considering they live in one of the largest refuge centers in New York.
Still though, I'm disappointed by how clingy people can be to opinions about the world they form (or are spoonfed) when they're so young.
I guess it just hurts twice as much seeing this ignorance from someone so close to me. It's a very depressing realization for me...
Any advice GAF?
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Don't have advice but I can sympathize. My late grandpa was one of the best men I've ever known. Extremely kind to everyone and a very loving member of the family, but he was a pretty staunch Republican and was definitely anti-gay marriage.
I have gay relatives whom I love very much (one of them is married) I myself am an atheist and a supporter of gay rights. I also grew up in a religious environment (I was an altar boy for Christ's sake lol). So as someone who's seen both sides of the aisle so to speak, the truth is people who hold that kind of sentiment are not necessarily terrible bigoted people. Sometimes otherwise great people hold strange ignorant views. Don't be like one of those couples who breaks up because of an election. Now if you get into a situation where she's actively disrespectful towards a gay person because they're gay, for sure break it off. And if the comment does bother you even still, that's your call bro!
Well, now I feel pretty good that a girl I met didn't do this to me :O After having seen her out dancing twice, she blurts out that she has a boyfriend that things aren't going well with. Sometime before that, and after, we text each other almost every day for a while (bad move but sometimes it's hard to not do it :/). Then nothing. I didn't contact her and she stopped sending texts for just over a month, apparently because she had to get out of her relationship and it was hard for her for some reason. I know this because I ran into her today and we started texting again. And this was someone I considered slightly immature at first, but perhaps not.
Edit: Yes, drop that asap imho.
Devolution
Member
I don't know what to say I could not reasonably have a relationship with someone like that. Dealbreaker for me.
Gucci Messiah
Banned
Eh, sit down and talk to her about it and let her know the gay bashing bothers you. Personally, I would cut ties with somebody that close minded but if you are invested, perhaps you can change her outlook over time.
social anxiety cure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=13F3XAJIWq4
attract women
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QzQJO5GQTYk#t=0s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=13F3XAJIWq4
attract women
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QzQJO5GQTYk#t=0s
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
Anybody see the ending to We Bought A Zoo? Kind of got to me. I think im going to try that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9sElTpY_nU
Us shy loners out there should give this a shot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9sElTpY_nU
Us shy loners out there should give this a shot.
she sent me like 7 texts in a row about how she's been hurt before and has trouble trusting people. i've heard it all before from her...and i'm thinking it's not gonna work out. she says she feels really comfortable around me but she hasn't "seen that i've got her back yet". so, whatever. otro chicas en el mundo. i'll keep being nice to her, but since i'm not expecting much, there will be way less pressure.
Kung Fu Grip
Banned
Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Be happy you're not in my situation. That goes for all of you with girls.
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