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Do you Wipe Standing or Sitting? The age old debate...

How do you wipe?

  • Standing

    Votes: 35 31.0%
  • Sitting

    Votes: 66 58.4%
  • Other

    Votes: 12 10.6%

  • Total voters
    113

Rockondevil

Member
Hello GAF. I have been a member since 2013 and lurker much longer, and as this is my first thread I thought it only fitting it should be full of shit talking.

I'd like to open by letting you all know I am a proud stander.
This debate has been going on forever amongst humans, however it's been a quiet topic in GAF for a number of years.
It originally came to my attention back in 2007 when I moved in with my partner and realised she sits to wipe. Complete absurdity.
I hope 2019 is the year the debate can be laid to rest, though I am doubtful.

I have delved into the pits of GAF for some history on the topic, though to this day no poll has happened so the stats are hard to quantify.

2005 - Silent_Echo, a sitter, was struck by the thought of people standing to wipe while they were having his free work poop. Sadly the debate was short lived.
2008 - Pneuzy, another sitter, was having a wiping discussion with a friend who was a stander. Pneuzy was awestruck by the fact this was even possible and delved further into the internet before ending up at GAF to satisfy a insatiable hunger.
2010 - Dacvak - yet another crazy sitter, was in a similar situation to the last person who had a stander for a friend. They had a small poll of nearby people however the sample size was quite small for any good results. This thread went for a number of pages and ultimately many were sitters who had no idea of the standing master race.
2011 - Fonds, who opened without stating their preference was curious what everyone else does. Eventually after many sitters questioning how it works Fonds ended up giving the pros of standing. The thread achieved 9 pages of discussion with some classic MS paint works.
2012 - MermaPope, a stander! MermaPope didn't have much to say on the topic but opened it to all. Many were disgruntled sitters. Perhaps some correlation between sitting and being grumpy?
2013 - AnathemicOne, opened shyly with some curiosity. A short thread but the OP eventually opened up on page 2 that they were a stander. This thread had people questioning if we get this thread yearly, which had been the case for a number of years. There was even a member who was a bi-wiper (sitter and stander depending on situation).
2014 - titusandronicus, a great stander with a short but sweet opening. The initial comments were confused and dumbfounded but the discussion eventually opened up. There was yet another bi-wiper, perhaps this is the superior choice?
2016 - jesu, sadly a sitter who opened the discussion with some hostility towards the alternatives. However finally this thread had a huge number of standers which could mean people are finally realising the superior way is the stand.

As you can see the debate has been abandoned since 2016 so it was due time it was reopened to the public, especially now that it is 2019 and people are far more accepting of things they don't full understand.
I hope the poll will settle it, so let's find out.

Definitions:
Sitting - From my understanding the sitters awkwardly lean to one side and try to get their arm under there whilst not touching the toilet seat or their anus. I imagine many times they must touch the seat yet to this day I have never seen anyone washing their arms in a public toilet.
Standing - Don't be fooled, it isn't a full stand which would obviously close your butt cheeks. Imagine a squat hold so your cheeks are at full spread allowing for a clean wipe and no risk of touching the seat while keeping that spread the sitters desire. A welcome side effect of standing is no chance of your ding dong touching the bowl.
Other - Not sure what this could entail, but please let us know if you have a better alternative to the above two.
 

Stimpak

Member
There needs to be an earthquake voting option for us chad shitters.
cLpnh6s.png
 

Rockondevil

Member
Where's the debate? Standing causes your ass cheeks to press together and is therefore the significantly messier option.

Sit4lyfe.
Their are people that wipe standing up? This is news to me, seems kind of awkward to do.

Seems like you need to read the definitions of both. Standing isn’t actually standing, it’s more squat holding. Everyone just refers to it as standing.
If you do a squat hold you’ll find the cheeks actually open wider than most other positions thus giving you greater cleaning potential.
 

Malcolm9

Member
It really isn't that hard wiping your arse sitting down, it's not awkward and you can avoid the toilet seat.

What you also need are moisture wipes or a jug of water to make sure your bum is really clean.
 

Birdo

Banned
Mine is more of a hunch forward off the seat.

Standing upright would make it harder to reach the hole properly.
 

JimiNutz

Banned
For stand wiping I don't think you're supposed to just stand. My understanding is that it's more of a stand and bend over kind of thing so that you can really get deep in there.

I guess it's for fat fucks or people with bad diets that leave half their shit in their butt and have to wipe it out.
 

Gargus

Banned
Who in the hell debates this?

In 43 years I'd never heard of anyone standing to wipe.

I did squat to wipe once when a nacho grande with extra jalapenos and a bunch of beer caused me to drive home like I was racing the devil for my soul and I realized I wouldn't make it so I stopped at a gas station so disgusting I couldn't even sit on the toilet during an emergency so I hovered. After which they had no paper towels or toilet paper. I ended up having to cut the tops of my socks off with my knife to wipe enough to be able to make it back home.
 
Last edited:

Rockondevil

Member
How am I supposed to wipe my anus when i stand and my ass cheeks are closed?

I imagine console gamers wonder how they can use a mouse and keyboard too.
Have a read of the definition area. Sitting is more the colloquial term used. It is actually a squat and lean thus opening the cheeks more than any other position.
 

Kamina

Golden Boy
I imagine console gamers wonder how they can use a mouse and keyboard too.
Have a read of the definition area. Sitting is more the colloquial term used. It is actually a squat and lean thus opening the cheeks more than any other position.
Well, using a keyboard to play is pretty ass, so the cases really have something in common.
 

Lunarorbit

Member
I imagine console gamers wonder how they can use a mouse and keyboard too.
Have a read of the definition area. Sitting is more the colloquial term used. It is actually a squat and lean thus opening the cheeks more than any other position.
I don't even care that this comment is 2 years old. Hilarious comparison.
 

Tams

Member
How on earth do you wipe properly while sitting?! That's disgusting.

So, standing of course. Well, semi-squatting as you have to reach behind, but definitely raised from the toilet seat. And I have a washlet/bidet that I do first (sitting obviously).

The bigger question should really be do you wipe at the front going forward or at the back going backwards. I do a bit at the back, but I've found that most of the poo comes off from at the front going forward.
 

TGO

Hype Train conductor. Works harder than it steams.
I suppose you stand and bend over and wait for mommy to wipe for you.
I have never heard of someone standing to wipe.
Probably explains why some people have really bad skid marks.
 

GeekyDad

Member
How on earth do you wipe properly while sitting?! That's disgusting.

So, standing of course. Well, semi-squatting as you have to reach behind, but definitely raised from the toilet seat. And I have a washlet/bidet that I do first (sitting obviously).

The bigger question should really be do you wipe at the front going forward or at the back going backwards. I do a bit at the back, but I've found that most of the poo comes off from at the front going forward.
How did this thread get bumped after two years?

But yeah, sitting. And how do you do it properly sitting? Your hole is more open while sitting. You get nice, clean, thorough wipes. When you stand, that shit (literally) mashes together. Fug that (again, literally) shit!
 

Dr. Suchong

Member
I think every toilet should be like those high tech Japanese ones that wash and dry you too.
Paper is antiquated and disgusting.
 

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
I shit with a squatty potty. So my first few wipes are always done in a squatting position. Then I transfer to seated wiping when I’m comfortable.

I like my ass to be spread as wide open as possible during my wiping.
 
I shit with a squatty potty. So my first few wipes are always done in a squatting position. Then I transfer to seated wiping when I’m comfortable.

I like my ass to be spread as wide open as possible during my wiping.
TMI.


As a real American my house is adorned with handicap rated shitters which are amazing.
 

Neo_Geo

Banned
The only correct answer is a deep squat on your tiptoes in order to fully open the area up for maximum cleaning.
 
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