Professor Beef
Banned
For real. That little shit is such a fucking loser that it actually annoys me. Why, you might be asking? Well let's start with the fact that his infatuation with Patti is UNHEALTHY.
Did you know there was an episode where he handcuffed himself to Patti all for the sake of a magic trick? And she kept telling him that she had to leave for Beetball practice but he kept trying to "impress" her with that shit and made her miss her practice? That entire episode was a huge cringefest. And instead of just breaking the handcuffs or heading back to the magic store like Patti wanted, Doug instead tried literally every other way to remove the handcuffs because he didn't want to spend another $10 or however much they cost.
Why would you trust a guy that looks like this
He also very nearly got himself killed when his class went on a field trip to a dude ranch and Doug chose the most dangerous horse the stable had just to impress Patti, who didn't actually give a shit and yelled at him about how irresponsible he was being at the end of the episode.
Then there's his imaginary bullshit characters he created:
Anytime he's about to get in some shit he tries to imagine how someone would act if they had a pair, and ends up NOT doing that. Quailman is the worst, because who actually believes a superhero with the powers of a quail could ever get shit done?
Pictured: Roger (imagined as Godzilla) wondering what the fuck Doug is doing.
Doug is pretty defensive about Quailman, too. There was an episode where him and Skeeter were drawing comics, and Skeeter came up with an ok parody of the Silver Surfer (Silver Skeeter...the name needed work). Skeeter was brainstorming about how his character could help solve a weather crisis, and instead of being supportive (like a good friend would), Doug kept shooting down Skeeter's ideas saying that he would wreck the city. So Skeeter rightfully told him what a shitty superhero Quailman is and Doug got his tighty whities in a bunch, which caused them to stop speaking for a while. This wouldn't be the only time Doug acted like a jerk to Skeeter, but I think by now you all get the point that I'm trying to make: Doug is a bitch.
At least Porkchop is cool, though.
Did you know there was an episode where he handcuffed himself to Patti all for the sake of a magic trick? And she kept telling him that she had to leave for Beetball practice but he kept trying to "impress" her with that shit and made her miss her practice? That entire episode was a huge cringefest. And instead of just breaking the handcuffs or heading back to the magic store like Patti wanted, Doug instead tried literally every other way to remove the handcuffs because he didn't want to spend another $10 or however much they cost.
Why would you trust a guy that looks like this
He also very nearly got himself killed when his class went on a field trip to a dude ranch and Doug chose the most dangerous horse the stable had just to impress Patti, who didn't actually give a shit and yelled at him about how irresponsible he was being at the end of the episode.
Then there's his imaginary bullshit characters he created:
Anytime he's about to get in some shit he tries to imagine how someone would act if they had a pair, and ends up NOT doing that. Quailman is the worst, because who actually believes a superhero with the powers of a quail could ever get shit done?
Pictured: Roger (imagined as Godzilla) wondering what the fuck Doug is doing.
Doug is pretty defensive about Quailman, too. There was an episode where him and Skeeter were drawing comics, and Skeeter came up with an ok parody of the Silver Surfer (Silver Skeeter...the name needed work). Skeeter was brainstorming about how his character could help solve a weather crisis, and instead of being supportive (like a good friend would), Doug kept shooting down Skeeter's ideas saying that he would wreck the city. So Skeeter rightfully told him what a shitty superhero Quailman is and Doug got his tighty whities in a bunch, which caused them to stop speaking for a while. This wouldn't be the only time Doug acted like a jerk to Skeeter, but I think by now you all get the point that I'm trying to make: Doug is a bitch.
At least Porkchop is cool, though.