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[Willkiller]

Next time you see them break something they own and tell the parents to fuck off if they complain

Revenge feels so good

Break the mother's leg cola. Then roll the kids into the canal, she'll be powerless to help. She'll be screaming, begging you to save her kids, but you've gotta stay cool.

Just say "Fuck off" and walk away, doing kick-ups as you and your wheelchair roll into the sunset.

 

[Gareth Bale]

stats

 

[Clegg]

She probably told you to fuck off because you were talking to her with your earphones in.

Thats rude, Cola.

 

[LanceVance]

Kids took my ball again playing football, parent laughed, they tried to throw it in the little canal thing but I caught them, I told the parent this was unacceptable and she said "Fuck off".

I

Hate

The World

Next time take a knife and when they steal the ball hold it above your head whilst screaming a war cry

 

[Danchi]

Just think what could have been had Townsend been fit for the WC.

 

[Yurt]

They are small and fast and I have bad technique and am slow, this is the 3rd time its happened now.

are you playing with your ball alone?


edit: by ball I mean football, pls.

 

[Yen]

I don't understand. Who are these kids? Why is Cola hanging around with them and why are they picking on him?

 

[operon]

Mexico and Northern Ireland had a mass brawl in the Milk Cup, one Mexican player kicked an NI player in the head while he was on the ground lol. Don't know what provoked it, I bet a Mexican claimed that Southern Tayto was superior to the North.

And he'd be right too.

 

[Mr Cola]

I cant hurt/steal or break anything, they are just stupid kids, I just have to find a time when they wont be there so I can practice my passing in the compound. I would plead to them emotionally but I dont think saying im an unfit 28 year old who is trying to get back into football after 6 years will work. I mean it could.

Worse is because you all chastised me for ignoring the Budgens till operators I now have to avoid Budgens and go to the Sainsburys which is 5 minutes out of my way and they dont have fresh fruit so I have to buy stuff in bags.

 

[Salvadora]

It's happening!!!

 

[Salazar]

I don't understand. Who are these kids? Why is Cola hanging around with them and why are they picking on him?

His life is imitating Manchester United 13/14

 

[LTWheels]

Re: Without Suarez Liverpool would not have challenged for the title.

That's a massive simpilisation of our season.

Suarez's form and output dropped off quite significantly after Christmas. It was Sturridge that carried us in those months. Them Sturridge's output dropped off and it was Sterling for the last two months.

Real answer is Henderson. After his suspension our performances dropped off significantly.

 

[L1NETT]

Cola didn't something similar happen in the first episode of Peep Show

Are you Mark Corrigan?

Say hi to Super Hans

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

I cant hurt/steal or break anything, they are just stupid kids, I just have to find a time when they wont be there so I can practice my passing in the compound. I would plead to them emotionally but I dont think saying im an unfit 28 year old who is trying to get back into football after 6 years will work. I mean it could.

Worse is because you all chastised me for ignoring the Budgens till operators I now have to avoid Budgens and go to the Sainsburys which is 5 minutes out of my way and they dont have fresh fruit so I have to buy stuff in bags.

You should go Dead Man's Shoes on the kids.

 

[GHG]

It's happening!!!

Giroud must be excited!

Spoiler

We should sign Cavani.

 

[Willkiller]

How old are these kids Cola? Like 15? 11? 6?

 

[Mr Cola]

How old are these kids Cola? Like 15? 11? 6?

6-9 id say, very quick for kids

This will all settle when they go back to school

 

[GorillaJu]

I think Sanchez will more or less take Walcott's place in the team. I hope his career isn't seriously impaired but after this latest knee injury I have real fears about Walcott's future.

 

[Gentle Rodriguez]

Why are they stealing your ball?

Maybe you should take 2 balls and use one as a decoy.

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

Sanchez with a sweet Judge Doom haircut.

 

[kharma45]

I cant hurt/steal or break anything, they are just stupid kids, I just have to find a time when they wont be there so I can practice my passing in the compound. I would plead to them emotionally but I dont think saying im an unfit 28 year old who is trying to get back into football after 6 years will work. I mean it could.

Worse is because you all chastised me for ignoring the Budgens till operators I now have to avoid Budgens and go to the Sainsburys which is 5 minutes out of my way and they dont have fresh fruit so I have to buy stuff in bags.

This is the sorts of tragedies movies are made from.

 

[Mr.Marston]

It's happening!!!

hnnnnnng so hype to see him play

 

[Clegg]

I cant hurt/steal or break anything, they are just stupid kids, I just have to find a time when they wont be there so I can practice my passing in the compound. I would plead to them emotionally but I dont think saying im an unfit 28 year old who is trying to get back into football after 6 years will work. I mean it could.

Worse is because you all chastised me for ignoring the Budgens till operators I now have to avoid Budgens and go to the Sainsburys which is 5 minutes out of my way and they dont have fresh fruit so I have to buy stuff in bags.

You don't go there anymore? All you have to do is not wear headphones. Why are you avoiding this place now.

Please don't murder anyone.

 

[sohois]

My point is stats are mostly trainspotting gobldeshite and are so vague and nonsensical they can be used to make literally any point somehow valid

I prefer watching the players and making my mind up rather than have algebra justify it.

Every stat has a clear definition, I'm not sure where you get vague and nonsensical. And there is a difference between using stats to argue a point and that point being valid. One can post stats all day showing the superiority of Andros Townsend but anyone who has spent more than an hour actually looking at statistical analysis could pick apart the point in seconds. Hence, there is no validity.

Statistical Analysis outperforms expert analysis in near enough every field ever tested. And most usually by a large margin. Given the decades of research on heuristics and biases and the inability of humans to make correct decisions based on uncertainty, even when told beforehand of the dangers, I will continue to look for stats first, observation second. There are still a great deal of weaknesses but that is no reason to reject the usage outright.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

Cola your biggest mistake was not making this a thread in the OT.

 

[L1NETT]

You should go Dead Man's Shoes on the kids.

What a film

You get in that car

And fuck off

 

[PrematureQuiche]

First football gaf meetup should be wherever Cola is getting bullied....

 

[Salvadora]

I think Sanchez will more or less take Walcott's place in the team. I hope his career isn't seriously impaired but after this latest knee injury I have real fears about Walcott's future.

Wouldn't worry about that.

Sanchez can play in multiple positions and Walcott won't be back until the end of September. And even then, he could take some time to regain pre-injury level.

 

[Yurt]

@Cola

[redacted name on twitter]:

Please ask Cola if he's autistic (in the most sincere and least offensive way possible)

 

[Salazar]

What a film

You get in that car

And fuck off

Too bleak m8

 

[Mr Cola]

Cola your biggest mistake was not making this a thread in the OT.

I regret posting it in here

@Cola

[redacted name on twitter]:

Kyoufu asked this didnt he?

You don't go there anymore? All you have to do is not wear headphones. Why are you avoiding this place now.

Please don't murder anyone.

I know you wont believe this but I used to take a knife into Budgens and do that thing where you flick it around your knuckles, its a habit, I took the knife in because I would buy an Orange and cut it up outside. I was informed that this was a terrible idea and stopped buying Oranges/taking the knife.

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

What a film

You get in that car

And fuck off

That scene it great.

I'm not threatening you mate, it's beyond fucking words.

 

[PrematureQuiche]

We've got the latest transfer news on the way - Jose Mourinho tells #SSN Fernando Torres will not be sold in this transfer window!

the dream is dead guys! No Cavani for us!

 

[Coldnoodle]

the dream is dead guys! No Cavani for us!

YES MOYES

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

the dream is dead guys! No Cavani for us!

mind games

pls

 

[Salvadora]

How about getting some kids to play with in the park, Cola?

Strength in numbers and they could fight on your behalf if it came down to it.

 

[Shanks D Zoro]

It's happening!!!

Sanchez is so nice taking pictures with fans.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

I like how we're not even linked to anyone any more. And by 'like' I mean I'm mildly terrified by the fact.

It's like Woodward getting on a plane signals the death of our transfer window.

 

[LAM09]

the dream is dead guys! No Cavani for us!

Please let him be lying. He said we wouldn't do nothing any more in the transfer market, and two days later; we signed the Legend!

 

[Salvadora]

I like how we're not even linked to anyone any more. And by 'like' I mean I'm mildly terrified by the fact.

It's like Woodward getting on a plane signals the death of our transfer window.

You can afford to take time given the fixture list.

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

Torres loan is the last hope.

 

[kharma45]

I know you wont believe this but I used to take a knife into Budgens and do that thing where you flick it around your knuckles, its a habit, I took the knife in because I would buy an Orange and cut it up outside. I was informed that this was a terrible idea and stopped buying Oranges/taking the knife.

Oh I can believe it.

Surely stopping taking a knife would've been sufficient rather than giving up oranges too?

 

[Perfect Blue]

ffs Jose

SELL THE FUCKER

But tbh I doubt Torres would want to leave. He's got a sweet deal there.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

ffs Jose

SELL THE FUCKER

But tbh I doubt Torres would want to leave. He's got a sweet deal there.

Winston Bogarde 2.0

 

[Nicktendo86]

I like how we're not even linked to anyone any more. And by 'like' I mean I'm mildly terrified by the fact.

It's like Woodward getting on a plane signals the death of our transfer window.

I agree, but at the back of my mind I have a feeling that things are under control and that LVG does actually want time to asses the squad/not make any rash signings. I wish our business was already done though.

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

Winston Bogarde 2.0

Nothing tops Bogarde. 9 appearances in 4 years, Winston please. At least he is poor and fat now.

 

[LabouredSubterfuge]

I agree, but at the back of my mind I have a feeling that things are under control and that LVG does actually want time to asses the squad/not make any rash signings. I wish our business was already done though.

I told myself before the transfer window that we'd probably be doing deals right up to the last day, but I'm still unnerved by the flat out silence. All links have gone dead.

 

[LAM09]

Looks like Vidal to Utd is happening!

 

[Mr Cola]

I told myself before the transfer window that we'd probably be doing deals right up to the last day, but I'm still unnerved by the flat out silence. All links have gone dead.

I would put any money I have that we will sign 1 Defender and nothing else.

No evidence of any other deals. Even with that we havent bid fo any defenders.

 

[kharma45]

Looks like Vidal to Utd is happening!

It's not.

Even I'm losing faith in it.

Cleverly mk2 will be enough to sustain us.