Something smoldered within the dungeons of The "White" House, and for once it was not hashish.
"A thousand curses!" cried Caliph Hussein Obama, "First the honkynfidel foiled Operation Caliphate, and now he dares to challenge the first sport we stole from the white devil!" He flung his moon god idol across the room, nearly striking a trembling Jay Carney in his weak liberal forehead.
"With his superior strategy and intellect, he'll destroy any of our strongest brutes, even if they were hopped up on our most potent marihuana! If only there were a way..."
"Sir..." sniveled Carney in a probably homosexual sort of way, "Aren't... you half of each?"
Obama's face twist at the word "half" and his scimitar was already partly drawn before he stopped to reconsider.
"Yes... yes, Carney. You're right. The blood of Yacub, that for so long I considered a curse, could be my greatest weapon. I will turn the crackers' own strength against them! Carney! Call George Zimmerman! Tell him he has a match!"