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Have you ever been labeled unattractive only to end up a stud later?

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R

Raiden

Banned
Soneet said:
After a while you'll get used to it instead of boiling of anger. It's like you're getting angry at something that isn't there, you know? Which is part of what can make it infuriating.

While I hated my youth, I do think that experience has made me a well accepting human. Each time I think I might have the urge to feel full of myself, my backbone will tell me to be good to everyone, because that's how I was happiest when I was emotionally corned: when people treated me normal when I felt I was the ugliest being in the world. Obviously, I'm still good friends with these people who never dismissed me for my looks.

I also developed a keen eye. You can tell from behavior if someone sees you as a lesser being. Nowadays I hardly see that towards me, but I can still tell if they judge others in this manner. I'll never becomes friends with those kind of people.

Everyone is replying serious, but I thought for sure this was a sarcastic post. Isn't it? I mean, 8 pounds difference and like almost the same style. Even the same shirt. It was sarcastic, right? :|
Click to expand...

Ah yeah. I noticed the hair/facial hair being very identical in every pic . And the T-shirt looking the same after a year of washing. But somehow i wanted it to be real. Yup, its a joke.

Too bad.
 
J

Jason's Ultimatum

Member
I work at Sports Authority, and one day when it was slow, there was an old guy with a huge hump on his back walking by the store. I said to the people at customer service, "I've got a hunch that guy has a back problem."

Yes, I know. I'm evil.
 
R

Raiden

Banned
Jason's Ultimatum said:
I work at Sports Authority, and one day when it was slow, there was an old guy with a huge hump on his back walking by the store. I said to the people at customer service, "I've got a hunch that guy has a back problem."

Yes, I know. I'm evil.
Click to expand...

I think you need to read the OP again.
 
W

Wildesy

Member
I'm doing it wrong because I went the other way. Attractive in high school and been on a downward slope ever since.

Ffffuuuuuu!!
 
C

CygnusXS

will gain confidence one day
I was always, always complimented on my cuteness as a kid. Then I had a massive growth spurt without the complimentary muscle gain, and some hygiene issues... Anyways, looking pretty good right now but still working to put on a bit more muscle. Damn my skinny wrists! >:|
 
J

Jason's Ultimatum

Member
The funny thing is that even though it has been 10 years since I graduated high school, and that I don't talk to any of my HS friends anymore, I see them come into my work all the time. They were fit, athletic guys. Now they're fat and haven't aged well. Me on the other hand, I have long, lean muscles, and I don't look nowhere near my age.
 
M

MYE

Member
I was somewhat popular with girls before college, yet i was chubbier, shy and far less confident. I got thinner and more confident during my college years, but went largely unnoticed unless i took initiative.
So yeah, GAF wisdom does not seem to apply in this case haha

Maybe its time to reconsider the fat, shy and akward version of me
I'm no stud though. Never was
 
O

obijkenobi

Member
Like other people have mentioned in this thread, a lot of attractiveness is related to self-confidence. When I started working out and lost a lot of weight, I also became more confident. I'm sure I'm nicer to look at now compared to when I was 60 pounds heavier, but what attracts the women I'm with at the time (not that I constantly have multiple women attached to me, but a lot of my exes are hotter than I would have ever thought I could have pulled 10 years ago) is my confidence and flirty nature.
 
W

Wildesy

Member
Jason's Ultimatum said:
The funny thing is that even though it has been 10 years since I graduated high school, and that I don't talk to any of my HS friends anymore, I see them come into my work all the time. They were fit, athletic guys. Now they're fat and haven't aged well. Me on the other hand, I have long, lean muscles, and I don't look nowhere near my age.
Click to expand...

Where do you work that you are always seeing old HS people coming in*? Do they recognise you or say anything?


*if you don't mind me asking
 
B

Beerman462

Member
Raiden said:
Oh boy. You know, im all for being yourself and dressing the way you like. But the problem with your choices is that they're probally the most horrible ones ever.


Im pretty sure you would look a thousand times better with a good shave and different clothes. And if you ever want to get laid again, dont post those pictures on Facebook, trust me.

Swords and sunglasses really?
Click to expand...

r9bup.jpg


I imagine your avatar saying that.
 
I

idwl

Member
this thread is disappointing, I was expecting a lot of pictures :p

I feel I'm getting uglier the older I get. In and out :p
 
D

DreD

Member
I never had a girlfriend in high school nor even one close female friend. I can't even remember an occasion where I got approached by a girl or got complimented on my looks... I guess I began to assume I wasn't attractive at all because of that. I was a tall and skinny guy, so guys often picked me on that. I was extremely shy back then too, even with my closest friends. Things stayed that way till I got to age 23. Then I began to work out (gained 25 pounds of muscle mass, now at 165 lbs for 6' tall), diversify my hobbies, dress better and opening up more to people. I get compliments quite regularly now (I'll be 27 next month btw), but I still have to learn how to accept them. I try to stay humble, don't let it inflate my ego, but it doesn't come out the way I'd like sometimes. I've been accused of false modesty a couple of times...

Funnily enough, I recently looked back at some pictures from the time of high school and it made me realize that I wasn't even a bad looking boy by any stretch. I dressed poorly, sure, but I'm 100% sure now that my shyness had a lot more to do with what happened at the time more than anything else. I'm still way too shy for my own good, especially in one on one situations with ladies, but I'm working on that.

17 years old
bal2.png


19 years old
2004_kudsak.jpg


26 years old
photo.jpg
 
ShinNL

ShinNL

Member
soultron said:
Please correct me if I'm wrong. What I'm asking is for you to expand on your complex. Because right now I can't help but think what I've listed below:

You're no better for passing judgement on people for what you assume is them judging others.

There's honour and then there's a self-righteous, self-serving obsession. What you have is a thinly-veiled superiority complex because of your supposed purity in thought.

You're probably one of those people who always says, "I'm really great at reading people. I can detect bullshit from a mile away." Cool, dude. Keep on "reading" people and casting them aside.

In short, you seem full of yourself in an entirely different way. It's totes awesome and unique if that makes you feel better.

I felt the same way when I originally lost weight. Then I got over myself and realised I wasn't a special snowflake who was completely virtuous.
Click to expand...
You make it sound as if the world is full of assholes I don't like. I don't know where you live, but where I live most people are nice.

I think the real reason you try to imply I'm full of myself is because I stated that people who say they're studs are probably jerks. Which implied you. I can tell you firsthand that yes, I was kinda referring to your first post in this thread when I wrote my sentence.

@DreD: HUGE difference in aura man. Huge difference. Nice job.
 
S

soultron

Banned
Soneet said:
You make it sound as if the world is full of assholes I don't like. I don't know where you live, but where I live most people are nice.

I think the real reason you try to imply I'm full of myself is because I stated that people who say they're studs are probably jerks. Which implied you. I can tell you firsthand that yes, I was kinda referring to your first post in this thread when I wrote my sentence.
Click to expand...

Then why not come out and quote my post in the first place.

I'm not looking for an e-fight, but some honesty would have been awesome. Even if you're insinuating I'm a jerk, which I'm completely fine with.
 
R

reilo

learning some important life lessons from magical Negroes
DY_nasty said:
I do not understand people with height issues (other than abnormally tall women - they really got it rough).

It just seems so easy to dismiss.
Click to expand...

What's abnormally "tall" for a woman?

I'll have a go at a 6'2 girl. No worries. Send 'em my way.
 
ShinNL

ShinNL

Member
soultron said:
Then why not come out and quote my post in the first place.

I'm not looking for an e-fight, but some honesty would have been awesome. Even if you're insinuating I'm a jerk, which I'm completely fine with.
Click to expand...
Because I have no personal grudge with you and I was referring to everyone, the whole society. I too had times when I started to get full of myself, but as explained in my post I fight with my mind to not think that way. I've thought about the why's and I just came to the conclusion that that way of thinking was the cause of why I felt miserable in the first place. To imply superiority, you'll automatically imply inferiority, unconsciously or consciously. That's why I've long decided to be an accepting human and not change who I am, no matter how I look and no matter how others look.

My statement was not meant personal, but it did include you in a way. Obviously I don't know you, so maybe you're not a jerk. It's just probable chance. Just stated what I felt about people who claim they're studs.
 
S

soultron

Banned
Soneet said:
Because I have no personal grudge with you and I was referring to everyone, the whole society. I too had times when I started to get full of myself, but as explained in my post I fight with my mind to not think that way. I've thought about the why's and I just came to the conclusion that that way of thinking was the cause of why I felt miserable in the first place. To imply superiority, you'll automatically imply inferiority, unconsciously or consciously.
Click to expand...

I don't understand why there's an implied connection between being confident in yourself, jokingly calling yourself a "stud," and thinking you're superior to those around you. I think you're really adding that last part in. Why do you feel the need for self-flagellation when thinking you look and feel great?

I'm sorry, but I'm struggling with these concepts. Even as someone who's been through somewhat similar circumstances.
 
ShinNL

ShinNL

Member
soultron said:
I don't understand why there's an implied connection between being confident in yourself, jokingly calling yourself a "stud," and thinking you're superior to those around you. I think you're really adding that last part in. Why do you feel the need for self-flagellation when thinking you look and feel great?

I'm sorry, but I'm struggling with these concepts. Even as someone who's been through largely the same things.
Click to expand...
Well, this is how I see it. If you think you're a stud, then you imply you look better than average, right? In other words, you automatically claim that others are uglier than you. You can see how my train of thoughts continues from here and how I disapprove that.

I'm sure you have a way to not think like that (perhaps?), but that's just the way I personally see it. Since I think like that, I refuse to have that state of mind. I feel as if I ever call myself ugly or a stud, I would in some sort of way disrespect people, directly or indirectly.

Examples:
- If you point out the hottest person in a group, you kinda make the rest of the group realize they're uglier.
- Ever met someone who says they're hot in real life? Usually not a good character, usually delusional and also completely ignores that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Also, if someone says I'm ugly, I'll accept that that's their opinion. I won't tell myself: no, I know I'm a stud, you're wrong! Seems silly to me. I just be me, you know. I accept myself. I haven't gotten an insult in forever, which boosted my confidence so I could think this way. I would like everyone to have the option to accept themselves without being beaten down, directly or indirectly. I was always picked last and I remembering kissing dance circles from elementary school. Of course people didn't pick me, but later I heard from a friend that a girl picked me out of pity. Well, that shit hurts, even if meant well.
 
S

soultron

Banned
Soneet said:
Well, this is how I see it. If you think you're a stud, then you imply you look better than average, right? In other words, you automatically claim that others are uglier than you. You can see how my train of thoughts continues from here and how I disapprove that.

Response: I merely think I look better than I did before. Nowhere did I say I look better than anyone.

I'm sure you have a way to not think like that (perhaps?), but that's just the way I personally see it. Since I think like that, I refuse to have that state of mind. I feel as if I ever call myself ugly or a stud, I would in some sort of way disrespect people, directly or indirectly.
Click to expand...

That's fine, sure. I think it's a shame you think less of other people for feeling good about themselves, still. I'm open for further discussion via PM, if you'd like.

Also, apologies if I came on too strong in that first post where I started arguing.
 
ShinNL

ShinNL

Member
soultron said:
That's fine, sure. I think it's a shame you think less of other people for feeling good about themselves, still. I'm open for further discussion via PM, if you'd like.

Also, apologies if I came on too strong in that first post where I started arguing.
Click to expand...
And I'm sorry for making you think that I directly referred to you as a jerk. My understanding of the word stud might be different than yours. Of course you can say you look better than before, you worked hard for it. I don't know if you've met people who think they're studs. Overconfident, clearly ranking people by looks. Heck, I've seen people who weren't exactly lookers, but still considered themselves studs. Once I was at a party and this guy kept talking about how this girl was sooo ugly, and that girl was sooo ugly (random people who they know). I got so disgusted by that conversation. There weren't many people at the (birthday) party, so I was forced to listen to it. I left early. That's the kind of people I was referring to. From your posts I can tell you're not that kind of person.

I myself like to refer to myself as "normal". That I finally look normal enough not to be judged by my looks. I didn't just have weight, speech and dress code to battle, but also my race (Asian in The Netherlands, just another one extra barrier).

People with a superiority complex get overconfident. People with inferiority complex get timid. I try my best to ignore the first and get the best out of the latter. It always saddens me that people with inferiority complexes don't seem to get mad at me and/or sometimes seem apologetic. I want to clearly show I'm not superior to anyone in any way. They are allowed to treat me as a fellow human on the same level. And the first kind pisses me off, so instead of respect they think they deserve, they lose respect from me. I'm weird like that. Deep down inside I'm still that fat little stereotypical Chinese kid.


DY_nasty said:
I do not understand people with height issues (other than abnormally tall women - they really got it rough).

It just seems so easy to dismiss.
Click to expand...
From my understanding I thought most woman don't like to date men who are shorter than them. Not sure how true that is, but it probably eats into your confidence.
 
H

HarryHengst

Member
CygnusXS said:
I've been with 5'3" on the one extreme, and I've been with 6'1" on the other. 6'1" is way preferable.
Click to expand...
Hell yeah. Im 6'1" myself and the girl im dating now is 6'. It owns. I love tall girls. Luckily i live in the Netherlands, home of the on average tallest girls in the world.
 
F

Fularu

Banned
Kad5 said:
Have any Gaffers been labeled as ugly/been rejected in middle/high school only to end up being attractive later on?

Did this become awkward for girls/boys who turned you down only to end up seeing you with a girl/boy on each shoulder?

This should bring up some interesting stories.
Click to expand...

I'm still unattractive :p
 
ShinNL

ShinNL

Member
HarryHengst said:
Hell yeah. Im 6'1" myself and the girl im dating now is 6'. It owns. I love tall girls. Luckily i live in the Netherlands, home of the on average tallest girls in the world.
Click to expand...
I'm 5'9", above average for an Asian, but I feel like a midget in this world of giants :p
 
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