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I broke up with my GF of 3 years and I feel like shit

B

BronzeWolf

Banned
Story, It's messy:

- Long distance relationship with my GF. Loving, caring, devoted, supportive. Perfect wife-material. I was in love for three years.
- I was about to finish PhD. Talks of the future appear. Pressure to commit. Hesitance on her part to move with me, but wanted to get married. Strains the relationship a lot!
- I graduated from PhD on June. I cheated on her that same month with girl B. It developed in a fledling relationship where I was REALLY happy..My first time cheating. Relationship with GF goes down the shitter. She knows something's up
- After graduation I flew to see GF. I wanted to break up with her to be with girl B.
- She discovers girl B. Two days of hell ensue. We go to couple therapy same day of realization.
- I break up with girl B via email. Block her out.
- Therapist tells us we have one month to decide if staying or leaving is best choice.
- Therapy works on an individual level. We mostly forget and forgive each other. I renew my job-searching efforts. I lose fear of commitment, I strengthen my sense of desire and self-worth. I have never been to therapy before, and it really works for me.
- Even then I can't bring myself to be loving and caring for my GF as before. She feels bad. I miss girl B a whole lot. Every second almost.
- GF can't get past girl B. Asks questions, drags me down a terrible path of anguish.
- Finished up all my projects. I am bored out of my mind in this city, nothing to do, nothing to see but wait for GF and see if she is cool or angry.
- Two days ago she breaks up with me via messenger, because I refuse to tell her details about girl B. We see each other over lunch, she wants to do a clean breakup. She backtracks, but I don't take her back. I am too tired, too stressed out, too dragged on to continue.
- We stay broken up. I am staying at her place because it's hot as balls outside and I don't have many things to do here.
- We have talked. She is better, I am better. Her mom is coming down on Saturday to be with her.
- I feel like I still love my GF, and I desire to share my life with her. But at this moment I can't stop thinking about Girl B and it's not fair for my GF to have me like this


We broke up, I am still at her place since I can't pay for a plane change. I am bored and feel like shit. Can't wait to get out.
 
S

super-famicom

Member
BronzeWolf said:
Footnotes. It's messy

- Long distance relationship with my GF. Loving, caring, devoted, supportive. Perfect wife-material. I was in love for three years.
- I was about to finish PhD. Talks of the future appear. Pressure to commit. Hesitance on her part to move with me, but wanted to get married. Strains the relationship a lot!
- I graduated from PhD on June. I cheated on her that same month with girl B. It developed in a fledling relationship where I was REALLY happy..My first time cheating. Relationship with GF goes down the shitter. She knows something's up
- After graduation I flew to see GF. I wanted to break up with her to be with girl B.
- She discovers girl B. Two days of hell ensue. We go to couple therapy same day of realization.
- I break up with girl B via email. Block her out.
- Therapist tells us we have one month to decide if staying or leaving is best choice.
- Therapy works on an individual level. We mostly forget and forgive each other. I renew my job-searching efforts. I lose fear of commitment, I strengthen my sense of desire and self-worth. I have never been to therapy before, and it really works for me.
- Even then I can't bring myself to be loving and caring for my GF as before. She feels bad. I miss girl B a whole lot. Every second almost.
- GF can't get past girl B. Asks questions, drags me down a terrible path of anguish.
- Finished up all my projects. I am bored out of my mind in this city, nothing to do, nothing to see but wait for GF and see if she is cool or angry.
- Two days ago she breaks up with me via messenger, because I refuse to tell her details about girl B. We see each other over lunch, she wants to do a clean breakup. She backtracks, but I don't take her back. I am too tired, too stressed out, too dragged on to continue.
- We stay broke up. I am staying at her place because it's hot as balls outside and I don't have many things to do here.
- We have talked. She is better, I am better. Her mom is coming down on Saturday to be with her.


We broke up, I am still at her place since I can't pay for a plane change. I am bored and feel like shit. Can't wait to get out.
Click to expand...

It's your own fault, really. Congrats on that Phd, though.

edit- oh, you spoilered everything, including parts I bolded. Why even make a thread, then?

edit2- ok, you removed the spoilers
 
T

Tagyhag

Member
I still never understood how you can say you're in love with someone and then cheat on them that easily.

It sounds like you two are better off apart.
 
P

Puck Beaverton

Banned
dawg you cheated on a girl while in a ldr

know you're an asshole and drown yourself in bourbon

I mean the drowning in a loving way btw, don't kill yourself or anything
 
All Hail C-Webb

All Hail C-Webb

Hailing from the Chill-Web
BronzeWolf said:
Story, It's messy:

- Long distance relationship with my GF. Loving, caring, devoted, supportive. Perfect wife-material. I was in love for three years.
- I was about to finish PhD. Talks of the future appear. Pressure to commit. Hesitance on her part to move with me, but wanted to get married. Strains the relationship a lot!
- I graduated from PhD on June. I cheated on her that same month with girl B. It developed in a fledling relationship where I was REALLY happy..My first time cheating. Relationship with GF goes down the shitter. She knows something's up
- After graduation I flew to see GF. I wanted to break up with her to be with girl B.
- She discovers girl B. Two days of hell ensue. We go to couple therapy same day of realization.
- I break up with girl B via email. Block her out.
- Therapist tells us we have one month to decide if staying or leaving is best choice.
- Therapy works on an individual level. We mostly forget and forgive each other. I renew my job-searching efforts. I lose fear of commitment, I strengthen my sense of desire and self-worth. I have never been to therapy before, and it really works for me.
- Even then I can't bring myself to be loving and caring for my GF as before. She feels bad. I miss girl B a whole lot. Every second almost.
- GF can't get past girl B. Asks questions, drags me down a terrible path of anguish.
- Finished up all my projects. I am bored out of my mind in this city, nothing to do, nothing to see but wait for GF and see if she is cool or angry.
- Two days ago she breaks up with me via messenger, because I refuse to tell her details about girl B. We see each other over lunch, she wants to do a clean breakup. She backtracks, but I don't take her back. I am too tired, too stressed out, too dragged on to continue.
- We stay broken up. I am staying at her place because it's hot as balls outside and I don't have many things to do here.
- We have talked. She is better, I am better. Her mom is coming down on Saturday to be with her.
- I feel like I still love my GF, and I desire to share my life with her. But at this moment I can't stop thinking about Girl B and it's not fair for my GF to have me like this


We broke up, I am still at her place since I can't pay for a plane change. I am bored and feel like shit. Can't wait to get out.
Click to expand...

It's not messy, it's quite clean.
You were wrong, and she probably deserves better.
 
B

BronzeWolf

Banned
super-famicom said:
It's your own fault, really. Congrats on that Phd, though.
Click to expand...

It is. I never said it wasn't. I am aware of the damage my cheating has done. I have made mistakes and will be more brave in the future. Certainly will never cheat again. IT IS A FUCKING DRAG.

Tagyhag said:
I still never understood how you can say you're in love with someone and then cheat on them that easily.
Click to expand...

It was not personal. I was in a strange set of mind. I take all the responsibility for it though.

SpaceWolf said:
By the way you describe things...it sounds like she broke up with you?
Click to expand...

She did but she backtracked, and wanted to get back. I refused.
 
P

PlayALLtheGames

Banned
Yeah that girl B will seem like a really attractive option until you start dating her, then you'll probably long to be back with girl A.

That's just how shit works.
 
C

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!
PlayALLtheGames said:
Yeah that girl B will seem like a really attractive option until you start dating her, then you'll probably long to be back with girl A.

That's just how shit works.
Click to expand...

Truer words have never been spoken on GAF. Sure, there are exceptions, but the whole "grass is greener" thing is so often so true, and there's always things about what we are leaving behind that we take for granted.

Anyway, good luck OP!
 
B

BronzeWolf

Banned
Peeps will pile on my for my cheating. I understand why they do it. I have owned to it though. I will face the consequences.

I still have a right to feel like crap
 
H

How About No

Member
For fucks sake if your just gonna cheat on her end it first and save both yourselves the heartbreak and deception

I think you need some time to yourself right now
 
F

Fury451

Banned
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but if I was absolutely in love with somebody and intended to spend my life together I wouldn't easily cheat on her and develop a relationship and subsequent feelings for someone else.

Definitely sounds like you two needed to be broken up as you were absolutely unfair to her and all of this. I don't know what the lesson here even is. Don't do it again I guess?
 
I

Interframe

Member
Hey, at least you have a PhD, thats all you need in life to be happy right? Right!?

Sounds like all of this is your own fault, sorry OP, you got nobody to blame and you sound like a terrible partner
 
ThatStupidLion

ThatStupidLion

Member
sucks, but youll get over it. now go get in touch with Girl B stat!

for all you know you and girl a will get back together fresh in 2 years
 
L

LegendofDragoonLives

Member
> in love
> constantly fucks girl B

You're a mess dude. You still feel like you want to be with the girl that broke up with you that you decided not to take back, and think about girl B. Reread that shit again and see if it makes any sense. Anyways, I'd recommend you quickly move out because staying with the person you are broken up with doesn't sound healthy.

PS: Congrats on the PhD
 
J

JWiLL

Banned
It seems like the "feel like shit" has nothing to do with the break up. You just...generally feel like shit, currently.

I would say that in order to be happy you'd need to leave the city and get back with girl B, but you broke up with said girl by email...so if she hated you, it would be a completely understandable.

Leave the city, find some place you like, and start over. You done fucked up.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
BronzeWolf said:
Peeps will pile on my for my cheating. I understand why they do it. I have owned to it though. I will face the consequences.

I still have a right to feel like crap
Click to expand...

Well yeah of course they will cuz there's not really anything else to say about the situation

vsaintlo said:
It is what it is man. Hold this L as a life lesson. You got your degree move on with girl B.
Click to expand...

If Girl B has self respect she won't be getting back with him with the ol' 'email and block' technique.
 
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