• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

I found out I got a girl pregnant, advice?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Sounds like neither of you are ready for a kid.

Talk to her, be supportive, but I would make it clear and be open that having a kid wouldn't be good for either of you.
 
ElTorro said:
Sounds like abortion is the right option. Don't pressure her, she has the final word on this. Offer her your support in case she wants to keep the baby. That's your moral obligation for having played your part in this.
Click to expand...

Also, don't think that this situation implies that you have to have a relationship with her or even marry her in case you decide to go through with the pregnancy. These things are not related. You could raise the child with her without having to force yourself into a relationship you don't want. These things rarely go well for anyone involved.
 
Be supportive. If she makes the call, you have to be there. But you also have a duty to be honest.

But I mean be brutally honest. Reiterate that you don't want a life with her, that you won't be a happy couple with this baby. It's horrid sure, but more horrid is a tearful divorce after a three year shotgun wedding. You said she wanted something more serious, and in her moment of fear she might be thinking that's a palpable way out. Let her know it is not. It is fairer to both of you in the long run if you're completely open.
 
Had a friend recently that had this abortion agreement and the girl ended up having the baby and he is a dad now. There is no such thing as an abortion agreement. It is her body, talk it trough with her and support the decision.
 
An abortion isn't like just pressing X Y and moving the joystick from down partly down and towards the enemy. It isn't an easy fix.

Me and my then GF went through this ten years ago. Whatever decision you and above all she makes, you both will wonder "what if".
 
Goldenroad said:
Not "whatever you want", but "whatever you decide REGARDING THE PREGNANCY". It's her body, it's her choice. And if you're any kind of a man you support that woman. I can only assume you're just not much of a man.
Click to expand...
Support in pregnancy? Sure. Outside of that? Not really. Man has responsibility to pay child support, but that's it. Just like it's her body and her choice it's also his life and only his choice if he wants to become a husband to mother of his child.
 
1) Like some have said, tell her you will support whatever decision she makes
2) Ask if she is considering an abortion if that's something you want
3) Ask for DNA test if she has it
4) She knows she's pregnant 2 weeks after having sex with you? That's pretty short on the time scale.
 
Tesseract said:
abort the parasite, you're not ready to be a father
Click to expand...

Nah. He should convince her to keep the spawn so they can both resent the baby and each other in their loveless relationship. And when the baby grows up, it'll resent them too for bringing it into the world when they weren't ready.
 
ChouGoku said:
If I said that I wouldnt mean it, I would not mean it. I wouldnt support her decision to have a baby but I wouldnt run away. I feel like having a baby should not be an emotional decision, there is a lot of things that go into raising a child, especially one who is destined for a broken home.
Click to expand...

Of course it's an emotional decision! She has to weigh all her options, has to judge your ability to be there for her if needed, has to get the actual abortion, etc.
 
maybe convince her to have the babby and give give it up for adoption if abortion is off the table

either way, you shouldn't lose your life because your reptilian brain is a fuck nut
 
PhoenixSFT said:
Of course it's an emotional decision! She has to weigh all her options, has to judge your ability to be there for her if needed, has to get the actual abortion, etc.
Click to expand...

I went to planned parenthood by myself to get all the information when she had a party to go to. Ill be there for the procedure and everything, maybe she doesnt think that
Waikis said:
How old are you guys?
Click to expand...

Im 24 shes 21
 
dragonzdogma said:
watch the juno movie :)
I am always pro-life especialy if you love her,
can you imaging a little mini you a reflection or your love :)

It's so cute man,
I hope you guys give the little girl or guy a chance :)
Click to expand...

Ur smurtz.

Couldn't read he said he didnt love her nor cared for her and he just just fucked her cause he was drunk and she was there.

He also said they are both too young which means child is destined to shit home and broken family. Awesome future.
 
norm9 said:
Nah. He should convince her to keep the spawn so they can both resent the baby and each other in their loveless relationship. And when the baby grows up, it'll resent them too for bringing it into the world when they weren't ready.
Click to expand...

Yes. Because it is either abortion, or THAT. Right? Nothing else could happen. Nope.
 
TheLostBigBoss said:
Sounds like neither of you are ready for a kid.

Talk to her, be supportive, but I would make it clear and be open that having a kid wouldn't be good for either of you.
Click to expand...

Yeah, this. But definitely don't be afraid to say "I don't think we should keep this kid." You have to remember, you are going to be equally as responsible for this child as she is, and 18 to life is a long time. Being a parent is great, but becoming a parent before you are ready has a high percentage chance of ruining your life.
 
DarkFlow said:
You can test as soon as 7 days.
Click to expand...

You can test that early, doesn't mean it'll be accurate. I'm speaking from experience. I'm currently pregnant. I tested a week before my period was supposed to start and it was negative. Tested again the next week and it tested positive (at that time I was 4 weeks along). I'm not saying the kid isn't his, but if the timeline is accurate from what the op is saying you have to at least question it in your mind.
 
I mean, if you realised you didn't use a condom, why didn't you do the morning after pill at least?


But yeah, man up and own to whatever decision she takes. And get tested for STDs.
 
It's not up to you whether or not she she gets an abortion. If she decides to keep it you should man up and take care of the kid, whether or not you have a relationship or not with the mother is up you.

You made a decision and these are the consequences.
 
Just tell her to do whatever she feels is best.
Explain how you feel.

If you really don't want to be a father do the minimal duties so you don't have to pay child support.

Also dna test.
 
anarckitty said:
You can test that early, doesn't mean it'll be accurate. I'm speaking from experience. I'm currently pregnant. I tested a week before my period was supposed to start and it was negative. Tested again the next week and it tested positive (at that time I was 4 weeks along). I'm not saying the kid isn't his, but if the timeline is accurate from what the op is saying you have to at least question it in your mind.
Click to expand...
I know, I'm just saying its not outside the realm of possibility. Don't want to give him false hope.
 
USC-fan said:
Sure for people trying to have a baby. This is weird.
Click to expand...

Have you never had, or heard of a pregnancy scare before? Girl feels like she might be pregnant, or her period is late for whatever reason, or you know, maybe taking one after having unprotected sex because I hear that has a pretty good possibility of pregnancy.
 
AdrianWerner said:
Support in pregnancy? Sure. Outside of that? Not really. Man has responsibility to pay child support, but that's it. Just like it's her body and her choice it's also his life and only his choice if he wants to become a husband to mother of his child.
Click to expand...

Sorry...maybe English isn't your first language. I'm saying he has to support her decision regarding the pregnancy, not that he has to marry her or move in with her, just that whatever she decides he has to support that and not just cut his ties with her because she made a decision that he's not happy with. And if she chooses to have the baby, you support that child. He doesn't have to "be there" for the child, and judging from reading the OP, it would probably be better if he isn't since he clearly has no sense of responsibility whatsoever and would likely make a terrible father, but he has to make sure that child is provided for. Hopefully she is able to find an able responsible partner one day to help her raise the child, but plenty of children turn out just fine being raised by a single parent.
 
I'm pro-choice, but I also spent the past nine years trying to get my wife pregnant and she's finally due within the next few weeks. From this perspective, I might recommend looking at her honestly and seeing if raising a kid who is half of each of you would be fun or terrible. If you kind of like her, maybe you'd like to meet that kid. Can you? Would it ruin you? If it wouldn't, I'd recommend going all in and seeing what your spawn is like. Of course, I'm 38. Give it a thought though. It is half you.
 
woolley said:
It's not up to you whether or not she she gets an abortion. If she decides to keep it you should man up and take care of the kid, whether or not you have a relationship or not with the mother is up you.

You made a decision and these are the consequences.
Click to expand...

But, to add to this, don't assume that just because she carried the kid that she gets him by default. If she decides to keep the kid, you have rights. Ideally you should have your kid an equal amount of time. Many states are beginning to use this as the default arrangement. Don't take a back seat as a parent, if you are going to be a parent.
 
Hylian7 said:
Have you never had, or heard of a pregnancy scare before? Girl feels like she might be pregnant, or her period is late for whatever reason, or you know, maybe taking one after having unprotected sex because I hear that has a pretty good possibility of pregnancy.
Click to expand...
Or she setting him up. 2 weeks seems crazy short.
 
woolley said:
It's not up to you whether or not she she gets an abortion. If she decides to keep it you should man up and take care of the kid, whether or not you have a relationship or not with the mother is up you.

You made a decision and these are the consequences.
Click to expand...

disagree with this, having a babby or not should be decided by the dude and the lady. fun sex shouldn't ruin your life.
 
ChouGoku said:
Im kind of freaking the fuck out right now. There is a girl I used to have sex with, she kind of wanted more but I just wanted to keep it casual, and I let her know that. She didn't like that she she broke it off. I was cool with that, I understood her pov and let bygones be bygones. Well two weeks ago I was out drunk as hell and I ran into her at a bar, we went back to my place and had drunk unprotected sex. Well yesterday I find out I got her pregnant. Now I was kind of freaking out but I remembered a conversation I had with her when we had unprotected sex when we were hooking up and we both agreed that abortion was an option. When I figured out she was pregnant in person yesterday, it still seemed like abortion was an option. She kind of made some off hand remarks that made made me kind of think but I thought it was me overreacting as usual and misreading her. I went out and did some research yesterday and let her know she would have to use her insurance as I am going to pay for it. I texted her today asking about the insurance ans she tells me that she is feeling emotional and she is both terrified of having an abortion and having a kid. We are supposed to meet up in an hour. I am a mix of emotions right now, mostly anger as we both agreed that abortion was an option. I'm am not ready to be a father for multiple reasons and the thought of it is making my anxiety go crazy, any advice?
Click to expand...

um...yeah...this to me says she is faking it. My brother in law just went through the same thing with a girl he was dating, and I've heard it happen to several guys before by girls who think its a way to keep them around.
 
Slaythe said:
Ur smurtz.

Couldn't read he said he didnt love her nor cared for her and he just just fucked her cause he was drunk and she was there.

He also said they are both too young which means child is destined to shit home and broken family. Awesome future.
Click to expand...

nah, some kids turn out fine, but she could always have a family adopt the kid.
he might have to work harder and sacrifice himself for the next year, but I am sure it will be worth it.

Give the kid a chance :)
 
bananafactory said:
You may want an abortion but ultimately it's her decision, respect that.

And I don't mean to kick you while you're down but you shouldn't be having sex if you are not prepared to deal with the possibility of having a child.

Explain to her that you are in no state to raise a kid and that you believe the child would not get the upbringing they deserve. But also make it clear that you are there for her
Click to expand...

Unprotected sure, but all sex? That'd be silly.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

I felt a transformation
24
506
calico replied
I Will Find You | Official Teaser | Sam Worthington Must Break Out of Prison
5
120
Donald mac Ronald replied
Gabe Newell Found a Creature Scientists Can't Classify
13
165
Trilobit replied
Corpse found in d4vd’s (singer) car positively as missing 15 year old girl
2 3
134
3K
reinking replied
Got a free PC with no GPU, keep it or sell it?
34
380
//DEVIL// replied
Top Bottom