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Opinion Drama I had to tell my friend to cool it with his racism.

NahaNago

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Aug 29, 2014
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Did I take a time warp to 2016 neogaf?
yeah, this thread has been kinda weird. I've met quite a few racist people in the past and never cut off relations just because of it. I'm pretty sure the majority of the world is racist to an extent.

My advice to the OP is to make sure your friend knows your not cool with all of the racist bs. If he is your friend he will at least tone it down when your around. To the oddity of your friend being able to invite colored people( such a weird way of calling people) to meals isn't that shocking. I've worked with folk who were completely friendly to other races but as soon as they are only around their race start making racist jokes and comments. The business partnership though is a bit of a mess since even one racist remark that blows up can destroy a business. So I'd say be wary on that front and again talk to him about how this could affect the business.
 

IDKFA

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Jan 15, 2017
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You could try to put him through re-education, such as teaching him about inclusion and unconscious bias.

If that doesn't work, then cut ties with him. Kill your business if you have to. Just don't be associated with a racist.
 

T8SC

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Jun 22, 2013
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What's surprising me, is that you've known this guy for years and not noticed before?

I feel like this is more a case of him insulting (no matter what names he used) another friend of yours.
 

12Goblins

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Mar 1, 2017
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definitely don't agree with cutting him off completely.. these people just find new friends who more racist and things just get worse from there., you're actually in a position of privilege in that he can trust you and will listen to you if you dissuade him Everytime he says racist shit, telling him it's not cool, etc, it takes time and work but most of all he needs people like you to stay in his life and give him some guidance so that he can change. good luck and thank you✌️
 
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Feb 20, 2021
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I have stupid friends that say racist things, but don't act racist at all toward those same people. Minorities that are racist to other minorities, whites that are racist, all types.


I'm not going to stop hanging out with them. They are flawed people, usually from rough backgrounds themselves. Use some common sense.
 

GamingKaiju

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Oct 24, 2014
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You’ve been his friend for a long time, have a business with him and only now deduced that he’s a racist? You must be terrible at judging character man lol.

First time I’ve heard him go on a racist triade so I’m guessing it’s either a new thing or he’s kept it under wraps.
 

funkygunther

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First time I’ve heard him go on a racist triade so I’m guessing it’s either a new thing or he’s kept it under wraps.

first line in your OP says that before this tirade he would drop racial slurs, so has he been doing that before or not?
 
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GamingKaiju

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yeah but even that’s enough to tell you he’s racist

Like I said he has made comments before in the past but this was on a different level I thought he was going to pull out a confederate flag or something it was intense and made feel very uncomfortable.
 

funkygunther

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Like I said he has made comments before in the past but this was on a different level I thought he was going to pull out a confederate flag or something it was intense and made feel very uncomfortable.

in the UK? I was responding to the thread that had you replying to not judging his racist character because this was the first time, but it wasn’t…it was just more so you noticed it, but you clearly excused or allowed his use of racial slurs before and obviously made him feel very comfortable with being like that in front of you, but the signs were always there
 

GamingKaiju

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in the UK? I was responding to the thread that had you replying to not judging his racist character because this was the first time, but it wasn’t…it was just more so you noticed it, but you clearly excused or allowed his use of racial slurs before and obviously made him feel very comfortable with being like that in front of you, but the signs were always there

Yeh U.K.

Probably most likely case that me ignoring these earlier signs and not calling him out on it led to him thinking that I was cool with it when I just didn’t really connect the dots in my head and all of sudden his racist triade set me off.
 

Cattlyst

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Jan 18, 2019
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First time I hear a friend being a racist asshole is the last time I think of them as a friend or someone I even want to associate with. People like that need re-education. Or to be totally ostracised from modern society.
 
Jan 14, 2018
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So I have a friend who is racist but I never picked upon it til recently. He would casually drop words like n** n** and black c*** or p*** bastard. So the other day we were in his car and a black guy I know cut him up on a junction anyway all these racist remarks came out but I knew this guy and I was like yo bro chill it with the racism, T (the black guy who cut him up) is pretty sound, my friend starts going on how he’s a proud racist and I’m like WTF!? You shouldn’t be pride of that and we didn’t meet eye to eye on this and he keeps coming out with all this racist stuff making feel uncomfortable.

I honestly couldn’t wait to get out of his car because his remarks were crating on me and I was ready to lay into him about his racist shit.

Now I’m left questioning my friendship to him because he’s a good guy but I don’t wanna hear his racist shit anymore.

Ive being cut up many a time and do use words like cunt and bastard but never bring their color into it because I think it’s very derogatory to use that as an insult.

Anyway Gaf just wanna share something with you guys and get some input.
If you notice, racist people are always people lack of education or low moral.

So why do you lower yourself to their level?
 
Jul 21, 2021
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So I have a friend who is racist but I never picked upon it til recently. He would casually drop words like n** n** and black c*** or p*** bastard. So the other day we were in his car and a black guy I know cut him up on a junction anyway all these racist remarks came out but I knew this guy and I was like yo bro chill it with the racism,

And then everyone clapped.
 
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haxan7

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Can’t you just IDK… ignore it and move on? Unless you’re his wife then it really shouldn’t matter to you.
In real life, he probably is ignoring it.

It would be wild if he showed him this thread.
 

Durask

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Is your friend real?

In case he is an imaginary friend make sure you do not roleplay him in public.
 

bitbydeath

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In real life, he probably is ignoring it.

It would be wild if he showed him this thread.
I wrote it a bit harsher in my first edit, I don’t know what they’re hoping to achieve here. Remember the days when people would mind their own business?


 
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Mar 7, 2017
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So I have a friend who is racist but I never picked upon it til recently. He would casually drop words like n** n** and black c*** or p*** bastard. So the other day we were in his car and a black guy I know cut him up on a junction anyway all these racist remarks came out but I knew this guy and I was like yo bro chill it with the racism, T (the black guy who cut him up) is pretty sound, my friend starts going on how he’s a proud racist and I’m like WTF!? You shouldn’t be pride of that and we didn’t meet eye to eye on this and he keeps coming out with all this racist stuff making feel uncomfortable.

I honestly couldn’t wait to get out of his car because his remarks were crating on me and I was ready to lay into him about his racist shit.

Now I’m left questioning my friendship to him because he’s a good guy but I don’t wanna hear his racist shit anymore.

Ive being cut up many a time and do use words like cunt and bastard but never bring their color into it because I think it’s very derogatory to use that as an insult.

Anyway Gaf just wanna share something with you guys and get some input.

Tell him the truth. Make it clear that you don't share his views on race and make it known to him that he should better keep those views to himself in future.

If you don't cut him off as a friend and you show him that it's not cool to judge people on such superficial characteristics, then you might maybe have a chance at being a positive influence in his life.

Cancelling him will only make him double down on his abhorrent views. Because that's human nature. But if you show him you're still willing to engage with him, but while establishing clear boundaries, and he accepts that, you'll be better placed than anyone in his life to perhaps help him to see the light.
 
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AJUMP23

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Your friend sounds like a real jerk. I would recommend you find better friends as you are the company you keep.
 

niveaformen

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Dropping a friend like that is one way, but they'll still be racist. I like the idea of getting to the reason behind it. And couldn't help myself:
 
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MrMephistoX

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Words are not actions if he’s a good friend you can level with him and tell him to tone it down if nothing else than for the sake of your business: if he’s dumb enough to post slurs online under his real name or use it on customers IRL you’re toast. Only thing I’d say is don’t just cut him off over words it does him a disservice and you if you don’t try and help him to realize he’s out of line
 
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NinjaBoiX

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p*** ? means paki?
Is n** n** nig nog? Bloody hell, is it 1976?

Bro he sounds lame as fuck, properly embarrassing. I’d avoid his company at all costs.

“I’m a proud racist”, GTFO you absolute thundercunt.
What does "cut up on a junction" mean? Cut off in traffic?
Yeah, it’s when someone aggressively pulls in front of you, usually in a line of traffic and without indicating.
 
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Alcibiades

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He probably was and I have being blind but I can’t cut him out of my life as we have a business together and financial commitments which I can’t afford by myself. I think the suggestions around education are the best way to go if I’m honest and hope he gains some perspective and cools it in the future.
I had a friend in college that when I first met him was uncomfortable with black people he didn't know (maybe even those he did), and at times made statements that sounded anti-Semitic ("Nancy Pelosi is a Jew", " "Jews control media", etc..."). Pretty sure some of it had to do with a bad experience his dad had told him about at some point involving a black dude. I stayed friends with the guy, invited him into my social circle, and the guy after a while ended up traveling all over the world and I saw him befriend and learn from people of all colors, including black. I think he still harbors SOME anti-Semitism in a cultural sense (the kind that is all over Europe and mainstream media, like blaming violence against Jews in the U. S. on Israeli government policies), but overall guy doesn't hate Jews and I haven't talked to him in years but the last I saw he was very cultured and worldly and there is little trace of some of the negative aspects of the guy I first met.

I'm sure if I brought up some of his earlier thoughts on race he would laugh in retrospect at how stupid it was. Not saying this can definitely happen with your friend but I don't generally agree with shunning people for having racist thoughts. Maybe by exposing him to your points of view he will reconsider in the long-term. I don't mean as a one-time thing, but like, people will be affected by their environment, I'm sure that's how he got to think the way he does. For some people it's not too begin nudging their racism towards a more enlightened view.
 
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Jun 16, 2018
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Humans have their nature, that is why all manner of crap and corruption continues to go on.

Genetic engineering of the race will be available to all races, that way all can see the corrupt and pathetic nature of unenhanced humans and how they were inevitably destined to brutish short unhappy lives.

Nature decreed you to be but an ephemeral construct, a machine made of meat to pass on the genes, and die off to be replaced by a newer generation. But through genetic engineering we will do away with nature's design and evolve long indefinitely youthful humans, with glorious intellectual capacity dwarfing all others.

Glorious world ahead, of superhumans with superbeauty and superintellect who do not age or decay, because FATE decreed they're too valuable t suffer from something as pathetic as aging.
 
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GymWolf

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Jun 11, 2019
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Never come to sicily my dude, people have radicate racism in their dna, my friends, parents etc. Always says some racist shit so i'm used to it.
 

MastaKiiLA

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Jun 11, 2020
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that is not it chief ....am i doing it right?

ask him if he had a bad experience or something recently. maybe there is something he isnt telling you. perhaps you can talk some sense into him slowly over time if you know where this anger is coming from. if you think hes a good guy and youve known him fora long time, maybe he really is, and he is just projecting some bad experience with 1 black person onto all of them.

i dont like the idea of just cutting people off or canceling them or whatever. if you try and he just refuses to budge, then do what you have to do. but maybe you can help guide him back from wherever he is.
The chance of rehabilitating someone like that is low. They have faulty wiring. I don't see the point in trying to save someone who can't save themselves. It's not hard to find good friends. There are billions of people out there. Surround yourself with good people.
 

Jaysen

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Mar 19, 2021
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I wrote it a bit harsher in my first edit, I don’t know what they’re hoping to achieve here. Remember the days when people would mind their own business?


Yeah, just ignore hate. Good call, genius.
 

Nobody_Important

“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
May 22, 2018
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You’re not going to change the world through a single person so don’t even bother climbing on your high horse.
Yeah if you only ever ignore it in a single person. But one becomes two two becomes three etc etc and eventually what you've done is ignore hate in everybody.


The best and only thing that you can do is to call it out when you see it and hope the chastisement is enough to make these idiots reevaluate their positions. If not then fuck'em. If your words don't get their attention then maybe the loss of friendship will.
 
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