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[TheXfactor]

I don't know, i just can't stop thinking about it for some reason but to break up with someone because they smoked too much is something i never had to do before. and i just got questions about it, mainly due to it cause i kept thinking to myself that i was being judgemental of her habits.

But anyway, i dated this girl for about a month, and i really liked her. i liked her personallty, i thought she was very pretty, and i knew she smoked weed, that wasn't an issue.. or so i thought. so when i was dating her, she smoked weed about twice every week. which was perfectly fine, i mean i dont smoke weed myself(just a choice i made, dont care if anyone does it just not my thing) and it was what ever. Then she started doing it everyday, like i would come see her and when she would see me, she was high. i could tell she was by the way she acted and her eyes. and it got to the point where i was seeing her high more than i was seeing her not high, by a huge margin. She had to go to class(college) she needed to get high, getting her first tattoo has to get it high before she gets it, gets the tattoo needs to get high to celebrate, has to go band practice(she plays an instrument for the school ensemble) needs to get high before it. She is telling she is trying to smoke weed so much before things because she is trying to make it so it makes her concentrate better? See i wouldn't know about this, maybe its true maybe its not that it could help you, but it just seems excessive.
and... I just felt uncomfortable with it. I mean I don't know how much weed really changes a person, but i felt like her emotions weren't really there when she was high? Just really chill. And i knew she wasn't gonna change so i just ended it with her for told her the truth, that it was just too much for me.

and my question is was i wrong to do this?does weed really change you a lot? should i expect girls that smoke weed smoke this much, is it normal?

 

[thesuperfunk]

You did the right thing, OP.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Yeah, sounds like you're better off out of there.

While it's never sensible to speculate wildly, sounds like she's in the early stages of addiction and it will likely only go downhill from here.

 

[EBE]

and... I just felt uncomfortable with it.

and my question is was i wrong to do this?does weed really change you a lot? should i expect girls that smoke weed smoke this much, is it normal?

there it is. no you weren't wrong if you felt uncomfortable with her habit. the other questions don't even really matter

 

[Palpable]

Pot smoking hippies tend to rub me the wrong way. ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[Mariolee]

Nah dude, you did well.

 

[Frozenprince]

If someone has a habit you don't indulge in and don't find comfortable then yes it's better, for both of you, that you ended things.

 

[Crimson Streak]

Smoking in general is a deal breaker for a lot of people I know, so I don't think it's that big of deal to end it if it really bothers you.

 

[Machina]

Can I ask what it was about her behavior when she was high that bothered you? Was she hard to converse with? Because it really isn't that uncommon for weed smokers to smoke everyday (hence the meme, Smoke Weed Everyday).

As a matter of fact I just had my first cone for the day about 10 minutes ago, and I wrote out the post you're reading now.

 

[Khaos_Knight]

You did good, sir.

Now send her my way.

 

[hobblygobbly]

Honestly it sounds like an addiction to me, it's just like people who need to smoke a cigarette before doing many things.

I had friends where the last year or two of school + early years of university smoked weed daily. It changed them due to the heavy use, they became more paranoid, very lazy and dropped out of university because of it. Note that it was not casual weed smoking, it was a daily thing, they were smoking it like cigarettes almost. I couldn't even talk to them like I used to, they just did not register conversations. Doing weed at that level is damaging and if you _need_ it to operate it's an addiction and has a negative impact on oneself and those around them like family/friends. If you're dependent on any substance it's not good.

 

[TheXfactor]

Eh, did you let her know before you broke up that you had an issue with it and that it was becoming too much? Or did you just randomly end it without warning?

well it was more of a talk with her, and i told her i felt uncomfortable with it and she had that attitude like im sorry you do feel that way, but i don't want to change. so i just said it wasn't gonna work

 

[aku:jiki]

She is just following the word of our prophet and savior, Nate Dogg.

 

[Two Words]

Did you at any point say that you had an issue with her smoking habits increasing?

 

[Deleted member 1235]

its always a drag when one person smokes and the other doesnt. it seems like girls that smoke that much get really dependant on it as well, but thats only my anecdotal evidence

 

[Nokterian]

Yeah OP good call there are better women out there then a pothead.

 

[Frozenprince]

Can I ask what it was about her behavior when she was high that bothered you? Was she hard to converse with? Because it really isn't that uncommon for weed smokers to smoke everyday (hence the meme, Smoke Weed Everyday).

As a matter of fact I just had my first cone for the day about 10 minutes ago, and I wrote out the post you're reading now.

He said she just didn't seem to want to talk about much other than the usual stoner giggles stuff when she blazed so maybe that's it?

 

[antonz]

Nothing wrong with your decision. She started off as a more casual user and it Sounds a lot more than just trying for concentration when every little thing happening in life is an excuse to light it up.

 

[TheXfactor]

Can I ask what it was about her behavior when she was high that bothered you? Was she hard to converse with? Because it really isn't that uncommon for weed smokers to smoke everyday (hence the meme, Smoke Weed Everyday).

As a matter of fact I just had my first cone for the day about 10 minutes ago, and I wrote out the post you're reading now.

she was almost too relaxed, like i couldn't get feelings out of her(hard to explain)

 

[Brakke]

You only dated her a month? Yeah just call it that's fine. Stakes is low. This isn't some big indictment of weed or anything. You just didn't dig her.

 

[Two Words]

its always a drag when one person smokes and the other doesnt. it seems like girls that smoke that much get really dependant on it as well, but thats only my anecdotal evidence

I don't think you should treat drug dependency as a female phenomena.

 

[Machina]

He said she just didn't seem to want to talk about much other than the usual stoner giggles stuff when she blazed so maybe that's it?

I must have speed read over that part. In that case, I have no issue. Going on about nothing but stoner culture constantly is really obnoxious. If you want to bleat on about that stuff, there are places to do that without irritating anyone. I for one don't go slapping "420blazeit" on everything. I prefer to keep my pot use on the down low for obvious reasons.

she was almost too relaxed, like i couldn't get feelings out of her(hard to explain)

I am by no means an expert but I'm sure pot use influences different people in different ways. When I smoke, I don't get so relaxed that I am basically a vegetable like you seem to have experienced. I can still very much make conversation and generally socialize (I am a natural introvert though so I won't go looking for a conversation if one isn't already going).

 

[Voidguts]

and my question is was i wrong to do this?

nope.

does weed really change you a lot?

nope.

of course, this isn't true for everyone, but from personal experience (like, 10 years, heavily) the whole "i felt like her emotions weren't really there when she was high" - that line just kinda strikes me as odd. my partner and I are both hardcore introverts and smoking definitely has helped us open up emotionally with each other and others. also, in heavy users it can help with concentration; especially music.

 

[Uhyve]

Even as someone who's down to smoke alittle, people who do it daily are people that I try to avoid. I once had a friend who smoked constantly and dealt on the side to help fund it. He'd forget where he was alot and generally wasn't present even when he was around (pretty certain the stuff he was getting was laced but I mean, that's what happens when it's not legal). I dunno, it just wasn't a fun thing to watch.

So yeah, from my experience, you made the correct decision.

For those curious, dude got clean, found a job and is now happily married with kids. But I mean, even if it didn't cause him any permanent damage, it's still definitely the correct decision. You don't need that in your life.

 

[HORRORSHØW]

over weed? lmao

 

[impact]

From my experience if one person in a relationship is a pothead and the other person doesn't smoke at all, it's never going to work. Smoking with a SO is great and really enhances the activities you do together, but if one person is high and the other is sober it just feels awkward.

 

[Fusebox]

Eh, she'll find someone who smokes, you'll find someone who doesn't. Everyone is happy, world still turns etc

 

[Frozenprince]

I must have speed read over that part. In that case, I have no issue. Going on about nothing but stoner culture constantly is really obnoxious. If you want to bleat on about that stuff, there are places to do that without irritating anyone. I for one don't go slapping "420blazeit" on everything. I prefer to keep my pot use on the down low for obvious reasons.

Yep, 100% agreed. I find most of stoner culture to be obnoxious as hell 95% of the time, anyway, tbqh.

 

[neorej]

You did good, as long as you made it clear that it's because of her smoking habits. Maybe it's a signal she needs to think about where her life is heading.

 

[Machina]

Yep, 100% agreed. I find most of stoner culture to be obnoxious as hell 95% of the time, anyway, tbqh.

To be fair, if it were actually legal, about 70% of that culture would disappear as it becomes commonplace.

 

[Frozenprince]

To be fair, if it were actually legal, about 70% of that culture would disappear as it becomes commonplace.

Very true.

Massachusetts has a ballot on it this election, can't say I'm not hype for it.

 

[Surface of Me]

Honestly it sounds like an addiction to me, it's just like people who need to smoke a cigarette before doing many things.

I had friends where the last year or two of school + early years of university smoked weed daily. It changed them due to the heavy use, they became more paranoid, very lazy and dropped out of university because of it. Note that it was not casual weed smoking, it was a daily thing, they were smoking it like cigarettes almost. I couldn't even talk to them like I used to, they just did not register conversations. Doing weed at that level is damaging and if you _need_ it to operate it's an addiction and has a negative impact on oneself and those around them like family/friends. If you're dependent on any substance it's not good.

This post is LOL worthy.


You did good OP. You get to decide whether or not something is a dealbreaker and you really shouldn't ever feel bad about it.

 

[AllIsOneIsNone]

If it was the idea of smoking that made you uncomfortable, then it was probably a bad idea. If it was her attitude or something about her personality when she was high, then that makes sense.

 

[Maximo]

Everyday? Yeah addicted and best to cut it early.

 

[TheXfactor]

I am by no means an expert but I'm sure pot use influences different people in different ways. When I smoke, I don't get so relaxed that I am basically a vegetable like you seem to have experienced. I can still very much make conversation and generally socialize (I am a natural introvert though so I won't go looking for a conversation if one isn't already going).

i am not an expert on it at all so to be honest i would generally think that would be the case, but it just seemed like it mellowed her out to a stage i just didn't like her as much. And plus she kept doing this thing like "I really want to get you high" or "if you hang out with me more, i know you say you don't smoke, but i would make you feel comfortable enough to smoke" and i was just saying uhh.. "im pretty set in my ways. don't think anything you do is gonna change that" and kinda pissed me off for some reason.

 

[Machina]

i am not an expert on it at all so to be honest i would generally think that would be the case, but it just seemed like it mellowed her out to a stage i just didn't like her as much. And plus she kept doing this thing like "I really want to get you high" or "if you hang out with me more, i know you say you don't smoke, but i would make you feel comfortable enough to smoke" and i was just saying uhh.. "im pretty set in my ways. don't think anything you do is gonna change that" and kinda pissed me off for some reason.

That means she was trying to change you to suit her world. That girl had more problems then just Weed, brother.

 

[Two Words]

This post is LOL worthy.


You did good OP. You get to decide whether or not something is a dealbreaker and you really shouldn't ever feel bad about it.

Why is it funny? Weed can be addictive. Just because it does not have chemicals that create addiction does not mean it can't be addictive. Humans get addicted to all sorts of things, including weed.

 

[PaulloDEC]

over weed? lmao

So what, an addiction that's having a negative effect on their relationship doesn't become a legitimate problem until it's a harder drug?

 

[CassidyIzABeast]

Weedhead

 

[Dominator]

If it made you uncomfortable you did the right thing. No need to stick with someone, despite their habits, if you yourself are not comfortable.

My friend is with a girl that needs be drunk and smoke to even sleep at night. Its truly bizarre.

 

[Hoo-doo]

You absolutely did the right thing.

 

[Northeastmonk]

I dated a girl a long time ago and all we did was smoke pot. We went through a terrible time quitting and it was like cheating on each other when we would smoke again.

It can get pretty bad. She might even have "-"better"-" friends who support her habit. Chemical dependency does some weird things. Your dealer is like your best friend and you meet some pretty rough spots along the way. She might enjoy smoking over you.

I can't say it's all bad. Intimacy was spot on, but if you guys can't get on the same level then the after effects or whenever she hits her peak is gonna be bad news.

There's a major mood swing once you quit. It's like some things aren't as enjoyable and sometimes you gotta do other things like drinking. You sometimes have to replace that high if you enjoyed it so much. I personally think you're right.

I've had some of the best times while being stoned as a teen, but man coming off of it was rough. I don't function like that anymore and I've rarely met pet who smoked pot like that. I did meet a girl who had to get high in the hotel room before we slept together. It wasn't like it was years ago. I felt paranoid about cops and I wasn't sure on how lathargic she was going to be. In my teens it was like an adult film and it never ended. I'm not quite sure about dating someone and not being into the same things. Years ago it wasn't a big deal.

I think you did the right thing.

 

[Tesseract]

pot dilates the mind's eye, improving concentration, creativity, so on

wonderful plant, the perfect drug for curious humans

*edit* i wouldn't be alive without it. cured my depression, got me off pain meds. nothing wrong with perpetual highs if you're productive and happy.

 

[dity]

well it was more of a talk with her, and i told her i felt uncomfortable with it and she had that attitude like im sorry you do feel that way, but i don't want to change. so i just said it wasn't gonna work

If that's the case, I think that's perfectly ok that you ended it. You'd only been going out for a month after all.

 

[Freiya]

nope.

nope.

of course, this isn't true for everyone, but from personal experience (like, 10 years, heavily) the whole "i felt like her emotions weren't really there when she was high" - that line just kinda strikes me as odd. my partner and I are both hardcore introverts and smoking definitely has helped us open up emotionally with each other and others. also, in heavy users it can help with concentration; especially music.

Same for my gf and I. She smokes 3-4 blunts a day and still keeps a 4.0 GPA and graduating in 3 years instead of 4. I'm glad she enjoys it so much though and it doesn't slow her down because I will probably get blazed til I die. I'd also feel horrible because I introduced it to her.

 

[TheDanger]

She sounds like my soul mate.

 

[way more]

I dated a girl like that. It was no big deal but during Thankgiving she didn't cook a turkey! She cooked a ham!!!!!

 

[IrishNinja]

a pretty college grrl who tokes a lot & plays an instrument....i mean, how was the dome tho

 

[Darth Karja]

I dated a girl like that. It was no big deal but during Thankgiving she didn't cook a turkey! She cooked a ham!!!!!

This really disturbs me.

 

[TemplaerDude]

I smoke weed everyday. My girlfriend doesn't. She still loves me. Do what's right for you.