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I just watched a man masturbate outside my window

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B

bomb

Unconfirmed Member
InfiniteBento said:
So I came home from a long day and open the windows in my apartment to let in the breeze. I look down and see an SUV parked below. At first I didn't think anything of it but I saw movement and did a double take. I didn't believe what I saw.

There was a dude sitting in that suv fapping like the world was going to end any minute. He stopped briefly when I opened the window and started looking around but I hid and peeked through the blinds to see what he was going to do next. Rather than leaving, he legit pulls down his pants and grabs a jacket to cover and started having a two handed sausage party.

I called the police and reported it only for them to show up 30 minutes later and to crack masturbating jokes then leave.

What the fuck
Click to expand...

You seriously called the cops? Geez
 
S

Sunset Samurai

Member
Kevtones said:
How many iPhone 5cs long was it?
Click to expand...

e1pmi.gif
 
G

GreatestHits

Member
Gaf, can you not just let people masturbate in public? Jesus! You didn't see anything graphic, neither did the dude who had his ear up against the stall in the other thread. And furthermore, YOU CALLED THE FUCKING COPS ON HIM? You act like he's cleaning a rifle with ISIS written on the side of it. Jesus GAF. So skittish and insufferable. Let a man service his rifle in peace.

*Logs out of GAF, rolls up car windows...scouts the area for gaffers*


Also, the gifs in this thread are horrible. Might even call the cops
 
M

McLovin

Member
For some reason in my head the OP is Patrick Stewart and when the dude covered up with his jacket it was too late, because he already saw everything.
 
G

GreatestHits

Member
It's like, you have to put in quite an effort, just to be sure, beyond a doubt, that this person is doing something that offends you. You're putting in effort, to make sure you're offended. There's just something about that which doesn't sit right with me, especially when I'm releasing my frustrations on Baker and 5th
 
K

kame-sennin

Member
JBourne said:
I would call the cops if someone was jerking off in front of my apartment. Shocked by how many people are giving OP shit for it.
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While I'm generally against calling American police because of how quickly things can go wrong, this guy is most likely a sexual predator. People are acting as though he was picking his nose in his car - i.e., it's gross, but he foolishly thought no one would notice. That's unlikely. Men who masturbate in public are usually doing it with the intention of exposing themselves to a woman. That's why he was doing it for 30 minutes. He was waiting for a victim.

This guy was probably not doing this for sexual release, but in the hopes of exerting sexual power of a random woman. It's a sex crime, and one that many women have encountered on numerous occasions.
 
N

nocturnalis

Member
kame-sennin said:
While I'm generally against calling American police because of how quickly things can go wrong, this guy is most likely a sexual predator. People are acting as though he was picking his nose in his car - i.e., it's gross, but he foolishly thought no one would notice. That's unlikely. Men who masturbate in public are usually doing it with the intention of exposing themselves to a woman. That's why he was doing it for 30 minutes. He was waiting for a victim.

This guy was probably not doing this for sexual release, but in the hopes of exerting sexual power of a random woman. It's a sex crime, and one that many women have encountered on numerous occasions.
Click to expand...

I'm legit side-eyeing GAF. This is not okay, I thought you were better than this. Ghis is like reddit level of responses.
 
S

...Scatter...

Banned
Apparently OP's house is the place to be. Can I pre book a spot for about 1am tonight? Please do not raise more than one blind or I will see you.
 
A

Apt101

Member
Should have recorded it so you could have mixed it to Ride of the Valkyries or some other uplifting song later. Would have been worth a lot of karma on Reddit.
 
J

Jonm1010

Banned
This reminds me of a time I was working at a wine bar in a residential condo/retail center.

All of the sudden one of the 50 or so people on the patio noticed a guy 3 stories up across the road beating his meat like he was punishing it. Completely naked, Lights on, clearly staring at some porn or something on TV.

Someone tried to throw some pebbles up there to try and get him to stop but he just kept going. Probably didn't even hear it.

Guy went on for about 5-10 minutes then just turned off the TV and seemingly went to bed.

I honestly felt a bit bad for the guy.
 
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