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[InfiniteBento]

So I came home from a long day and open the windows in my apartment to let in the breeze. I look down and see an SUV parked below. At first I didn't think anything of it but I saw movement and did a double take. I didn't believe what I saw.

There was a dude sitting in that suv fapping like the world was going to end any minute. He stopped briefly when I opened the window and started looking around but I hid and peeked through the blinds to see what he was going to do next. Rather than leaving, he legit pulls down his pants and grabs a jacket to cover and started having a two handed sausage party.

I called the police and reported it only for them to show up 30 minutes later and to crack masturbating jokes then leave.

What the fuck

 

[UberLevi]

Absolutely disgusting.

Can't believe you sat there and watched.

 

[8BitsAtATime]

"Well, did he cum, or what?"

 

[strikeselect]

 

[Kwixotik]

It's like creepception

 

[DaiHard]

Should have filmed it for everyone's entertainment.

 

[iMax]

What a wanker.

 

[MIMIC]

Shoulda asked if he needed some tissues

 

[EdibleExplosives]

Two handed, you say?

 

[George Oscar Bluth II]

For a second I thought you lived on the ground floor and this guy was right next to your window.

 

[Zeyphersan]

I called the police and reported it only for them to show up 30 minutes later and to crack masturbating jokes then leave.

Wait, he was still there jacking it 30 minutes later? Or they came up to YOU, made the jokes, and left?

 

[EchoChamber]

Did you join him?

 

[inner-G]

Should've went out to the parking lot and taking flash photos

 

[gutshot]

Was he holding a baby?

 

[Kisaya]

#Chicago

 

[kitchenmotors]

#Chicago

 

[exmachina64]

2spooky4me

 

[John Kowalski]

I never fapped with two hands. Is it good?

 

[Sai-kun]

#Chicago

 

[Dishwalla]

"Well, did he cum, or what?"

There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

 

[Galang]

You seemed pretty interested to be honest. I would have closed the blinds and have left it at that... not peek at him afterwards. He probably recorded it and uploaded on some amateur porn site

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Which gaffer was it?

 

[Hazmat]

The use of the word "watch" instead of "saw" is interesting.

 

[Royal Guacamole]

I never fapped with two hands. Is it good?

Yes. You require a larger apparatus, however.

 

[OverBlood 3]

Why were you watching?

 

[cyba89]

There was a dude sitting in that suv fapping like the world was going to end any minute.

Is there a chance he is a Gaffer?

 

[SmackDaddy]

I never fapped with two hands. Is it good?

It's like adding butter to popcorn. You didn't think it could get any better... but it can

 

[PSqueak]

Did you masturbate to the image of him masturbating? If so, any news if any neighbor saw you in the act of doing this?

 

[Numb]

Absolutely disgusting.

Can't believe you sat there and watched.

Not the type of dude you mess with doing something like that. What if he tackles you? Naked

 

[CassidyIzABeast]

 

[tearsintherain]

I never fapped with two hands. Is it good?

i can't even figure out the logistics of this, wouldn't your hands just constantly be hitting each other

 

[John Kowalski]

Yes. You require a larger apparatus, however.

Welp.

 

[Sanjuro]

 

[Delio]

Which gaffer was it?

Hmm I wonder who.

 

[Africanus]

#Chicago

#Chicago

#Chicago

W-we have more than just strange men pleasuring their Chicago style hot dogs you know!

 

[kitchenmotors]

Which gaffer was it?

No comment.

 

[Volimar]

 

[InfiniteBento]

Wait, he was still there jacking it 30 minutes later? Or they came up to YOU, made the jokes, and left?

He was sitting there for 30 minutes fapping. I watched from my apartment. Police showed up and questioned him. Not me.

 

[televator]

You watched the whole thing?

 

[Kisaya]

No comment.

oop

 

[t-storm]

You called the police?

A dude can't even jack off in his own SUV these days...

 

[Bloodrage]

Maybe he was just washing his ferret.

 

[SaganIsGOAT]

Did it arouse you?

 

[Galang]

That also must have been an awkward as fuck police call. And then they had to come speak with you in person about it too. I'd feel less awkward fapping in public ironically

 

[Kevtones]

How many iPhone 5cs long was it?

 

[scarlet]

Maybe he was just washing his ferret.

LOL

 

[Euphoria14]

Should have tossed a box of tissues out the windows and onto the car. Reaction would have been great.

Granted you were close enough to easily make the toss.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Bento, this is a sign you need a paintball gun.

Maybe he was just washing his ferret.

Equal parts awwwww and ewwwww now.

 

[Tagyhag]

I saw a dude getting head from a prostitute (I assumed she was anyway, my commute to my old job had me walking through a long stretch of suburban homes where you'd see a lot of used condoms on the street and a lot of scantily clad ladies a few blocks away) in his car once. I just kept on walking, they weren't harming anyone.

When you got a need you got a need I guess.

 

[Numb]

Goodnight GAF.