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I just watched a man masturbate outside my window

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kamakazi5

Member
Maybe he was just washing his ferret.

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This will be my new term.
 
Someone I knew at university saw a guy doing this in a parking lot. At the trial, the defence lawyer asked if she was sure it wasn't a submarine sandwich: "Uh, very sure."
 

Omega

Banned
why are you watching someone fap, then complain about it? you should be paying him for the entertainment, not calling the cops on him
 
OP said:
He stopped briefly when I opened the window and started looking around but I hid and peeked through the blinds to see what he was going to do next.

Right here, you became a willing participant. He probably knew you saw him as well.
 

rtcn63

Member
I called the police and reported it only for them to show up 30 minutes later and to crack masturbating jokes then leave.

The cops were probably just waiting for the guy to finish. They don't get paid enough to be dealing with weirdos covered in spooge.
 

Ayt

Banned
i can't even figure out the logistics of this, wouldn't your hands just constantly be hitting each other

No, no, no. You do right hand, then left hand, then right hand, and keep alternating hand over hand quickly and efficiently so the head is never neglected.
 
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