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I never realized how stupid the plot of 007: Casino Royale is . (spoilers)

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way more

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I watched it for the first time at the cinema with my best mate who plays poker professionally (online and at vegas).

He found it hilarious and none of the rest of us understood why.

OK, maybe my idea to have him win with a boring hand isn't that good. I think the only movie that features poker players winning with low hands but high risk is Rounders and that movie required so much voice-over prose. But I think it can still be done!
 

Mars477

Banned
Does no-one realise that Skyfall is the only Bond film that is like an actual proper film, with themes, and a point, etc?
Skyfall was too heavy on its themes (which were stupid) and paid too little attention to being an actual coherent movie with a plot that wasn't stupid.

And the climax was offensively awful.
 

sans_pants

avec_pénis
OK, maybe my idea to have him win with a boring hand isn't that good. I think the only movie that features poker players winning with low hands but high risk is Rounders and that movie required so much voice-over prose. But I think it can still be done!

People aren't necessarily that stupid

You don't have bond win with three of a kind, you have him bluff the dude with nothing. As long as you show he has some random cards and the other guy has 3 of the same, its all good
 
Yep. He said it was like a million to one chance in that situation.

What makes it so dumb is that they all have progressively better hands going clockwise around the table. The whole thing is ridiculous, but to someone who doesn't know any better, it is probably super tense.

Also, I enjoy Skyfall visually and action-wise, but it probably has the dumbest villain and scheme I've ever seen. What exactly was his plan and why could he not accomplish it a million times. Also, dat timing on the subway train crash.
 
ok, since this is basically a pissing match at this point:

CR is the best Bond film.

the newer one has issues. It basically ends on a Deus Ex Machina for the main plot, with a previously not even hinted element that has no place or purpose within the story we have been shown.

And this bullshit element then becomes the playtoy in the background of Quantum of Solace, where it again made no sense and nobody wanted it.

SPECTRE was never a surprise twist, more like the independent organization everybody knew about, and powerful enough to make sure nobody wanted to fuck with it, instead it fucked everybody else. Quite literally with that captured USSR pod. Oh my.

Skyfall thankfully redeems the franchise by ignoring that bullshit plotline entirely (thank god! ), making a point out of illustrating that these types of organizations are no longer feasible, thereby effectively erasing the bad memories of the previous movies, and doing that while remaining self-consistent and avoiding a Deus Ex Machina.

I do not expect anyone to like a movie 'just because' but in terms of writing quality, Skyfall is leagues ahead of the other two Craig bonds and if we use that as the defining parameter, then you couldn't possibly call CR or QoS "good" by any degree of the imagination.

That said I found CR entertaining and well shot, right up until the bullshit starts. And I found that QoS is a giant piece of shit with some nice aesthetics in between. (the duality of Bond's job, to be precise). And Skyfall is pretty damned neat, though I can see why people don't like it stating the rather obvious fact that in a world without knowable, quantifiable factions, old dogs must either learn new tricks or be put down.
That's what the death-rebirth aspect, and therefore the entire movie, is about, basically.

edit: how about we all agree Dr. No is the best Bond. No?
fake edit: what a horrible pun! right, this is getting too silly!
roll monthy python theme
 
I really want to see the Tarantino version of Casino Royale.

Granted, the movie we got was great.

Skyfall is complete garbage with good cinematography.
 
Skyfall was too heavy on its themes (which were stupid) and paid too little attention to being an actual coherent movie with a plot that wasn't stupid.

And the climax was offensively awful.

I don't agree. It felt like it was the first time a Bond film even attempted proper themes (and no, spying-themes don't count). I was actually blown away by how good it was - refused to watch it in the cinema as I'm not a big Bond fan, but it was perhaps the best or second best film of that year.

I've just re-watched Casino Royale again (first time since it came out), and it's much better than I recall. Daniel Craig is such a brilliant Bond, his performance is crazy good.
 

Currygan

at last, for christ's sake
Watch the intro to Goldeneye again. Watch how stupid Bond movies are. I love it.

You know what scene I'm talking about. When Brosnan is escaping through the runway, grabs an AK and just sprays side to side and the enemies fall like flies.

It's great.

ah, I thought you were referring to him catching the plane in mid air after falling off a cliff with a motorbike. But yeah, all Bond movies are extremely dumb, that's why they're so good
 
I've gotta say, the QoS love on GAF is really weird to me. It's the only subculture I've ever seen that actually like that terrible film.
I don't want to hear it. It's not a good movie and is one of the few Bond films I didn't want to finish.

Back OT: All the bond plots are pretty stupid. He's a secret agent that goes around introducing himself to everyone with his real name.
 

old

Member
You're not supposed to think about it. You're supposed to just lean back and enjoy the raw magnetic charisma of James Bond while he does Bond-things.
 

Zabka

Member
I haven't seen the whole movie since watching Skyfall in the theater but I remember M and the groundskeeper sneaking away from the house with a damn flashlight on. She has to be the dumbest spymaster in history.
 
casino royale was garbage. I also did not like the movies afterwards. Can't wait for next bond to come. this guy is serious. The bond movies are stupid but fun but this guy made it all serious and not fun at all.

YOU'RE GARBAGE.

Oh my, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Let me rephrase that.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU FUCKING GARBAGE DISPENSER.

How could anyone hate the best Bond movie?
 
D

Deleted member 12837

Unconfirmed Member
Le Chiffre was pretty confident about winning all the money back that surrendering to MI6 never crossed his mind until he lost everything. He probably had an escape plan if MI6 or the CIA decided to move in on him.

Surprised this has been overlooked. Perfectly sensible explanation for the OP's critique. Le Chiffre was incredibly arrogant.
 
Wow, people really will defend anything

Guys Quantum of Solace is pretty terrible. I like Skyfall a lot, but even if I didn't, at least it would be attractive to look at. QoS has nothing
 
casino royale was garbage. I also did not like the movies afterwards. Can't wait for next bond to come. this guy is serious. The bond movies are stupid but fun but this guy made it all serious and not fun at all.
"Garbage" may be a bit strong, but I follow you on the rest of it. Fun is hard to define or quantify, but I definitely haven't had a lot of it in the Craig Bond movies thus far.
 

Currygan

at last, for christ's sake
best intro, though. The black and white choice was genius, and Bond icing Dryden like that was fantastic
 
D

Deleted member 231381

Unconfirmed Member
Yet another reason why Skyfall was the better film.
 
The fact that they're playing Texas Hold'Em in a high-stakes Montenegro casino is hilarious.

Changed from the books to a game the audience would understand.

I don't expect most audiences will get Baccarat out of the gate.
 

Vagabundo

Member
I have real trouble remembering any plot details from a Bond film.

Similar to the Star Wars prequels. No idea what happened.

Still very enjoyable.
 

Pandaman

Everything is moe to me
And I'm still wondering how Bond could win with the All In when he was not the chip leader
maybe the allin was big enough that whats-his-face didn't have enough left to play the next round?

like if the minimum bet/raise is 1 million and bleeding-eyes has $500,000 left, he'd lose right?

although come to think of it, what would be the point of having chip denominations lower than the minimum. so yeah, im probably making a fool out of myself.
 

Bastos

Member
Who cares? Eva Green, man! Eva Green!
Eva_Green.jpg

I'm in love again
 

NekoFever

Member
I'll never forget Quantum of Solace and the evil secret organisation's plot to overcharge people on their utility bills. Not exactly fighting to prevent World War III.
 

StoOgE

First tragedy, then farce.
The biggest issue for me is that

1) They are playing Texas Hold 'Em for no reason at all other than people at home watch it on ESPN.

2) The last hand is stupid ridiculous. Couldn't he have won on a real hand that real humans get?
 
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