Support NeoGAF

[Cramoss]

At the end, when you die, literally nothing means anything. Gaming is no different. It's over.

 

[TheContact]

If I didn't have gaming I would be strung out and stressed all the time. Sometimes when I play Overwatch for a couple hours and I'm at the same rank I was when I started it almost feels like a waste of time, but I have fun playing the game so idc

 

[lefty1117]

Balance in all things, my friend OP. I'm glad you've found yours!

 

[Papo Swing]

Are you really comparing the feeling of living life, having a family and kids to gaming? If so you were always approaching it the wrong way and for the wrong reasons. Gaming like movies, music is just entertainment. Unless you work in the medium they are not supposed to run/change your life.

Even when you do get a lot from gaming. You learn critical thinking and other skills. You meet people and interact with them. You learn a lot of leadership skills if you do stuff like rading or multiplayer. There are a lot of "passive" skills you learn from it.

 

[ShadowFox08]

Whole heartedly agree

 

[Stranger Things]

Gaming saved me from a drug addiction

 

[CloudNein]

Judging by many of the reactions in this thread you've hit a nerve with many members (happens every time one of these threads are made). It's like a vampire being hit with sunlight, lol. But you're absolutely right OP, hopefully others will come the same conclusion.

 

[VisualFidelity]

Im 37 now. Gaming since atari 2600. At this point in my life, I game less than I used to. Staying up until 4am online gaming with friends just isnt what it used to be, for me. But I still enjoy gaming tremendously and use it to relax and unwind. I prefer gaming to watching tv. Ive owned every system, every major game, browse IGN and neogaf daily for years, yet still managed to buy a house, get married, divorced, earn my black belt in brazilian jiujitsu, get a degree etc.

My point is, you can still be productive and attain life goals while saving a good chunk of time for gaming, or something you enjoy. Its good for the mind body and soul, but like everything, too much of it can be bad for you.

 

[Nester99]

Do life bettering things first, check the boxes off THEN game guilt free.

I love completeing my stressful irl responsibilities and clearing up the rest of the night for guilt free gaming. In fact it motivates me to get irl stuff done so I can enjoy the games more with no outstanding responsibilities gnawing at the back of my mind.

 

[EBE]

Like, I study Russian history and I love it but fuck off if anyone thinks I'm reading War and Peace. Ain't nobody got time for that. Rather play Halo or something.

Spoiler

I am actually currently in the process of reading it but I'm not a big Tolstoy fan

 

[Croatoan]

I am 33, married, with a job, and I game quite a bit still. I spend more time doing gam dev but the wife and I use game time the way couples in the past watched TV. Everything is always balanced though as we spend a lot of time out of town or just out of the house.

That said I honestly do not regret the countless of hours I have put into the Battlefield series, bethesda RPGs, and other games that I love. I mean recently I have played pubg for over 300 hours and Fortnite BR for 100. None of that is wasted in my opinion because I got enjoyment out of it.

 

[vpance]

Anybody else feel this way? Sorry for the random jumble of thoughts but I hope I can get my idea across.

I've spent so much time, money, energy, emotional investment on something that just isn't fulfilling.

Sounds like your life is fine now so why regret? Who knows how it would've turned out if you didn't play games, or took a year off, or zigged instead of zagged, butterfly effect and all. It's not good to be too hard on yourself second guessing what's already been done in your life. You can let it influence your future choices though, which you did.

Now if you were completely addicted to WoW or something and it caused you to lose your job/wife/savings that's another story. But even then people have bounced back from that and ended up fixing their lives.

 

[Mr. Diaz]

I regret nothing, nothing I say! So many of my formative years were spent playing video games. It's a fun past time now, but I will never forget my roots. My children are starting to get into it too and that fills me with a joy beyond words!

 

[RavageX]

I used gaming to get in great shape some years ago with EA Sports Active and believe it or not, the ps3 move game The Fight.

Of course I did weights and ate better, but those games made finding motivation easy.

Rocksmith helped me learn guitar basics and broadens my music interests, along with helping me learn and play cool songs in real life.

Real benefits from gaming.

 

[Vicetrailia]

I agree OP. It's just a waste to sink so much time into it.

But some gaming is great, as it is entertaining. Just don't spend too much time on it for too long and you are good.

 

[Chris_Rivera]

At the end, when you die, literally nothing means anything. Gaming is no different. It's over.

If you sprayed your seed and spent a life raising a human, literally the only thing that means something, advancing the species.

Most people that have no meaning in life, tend to believe life is meaningless. When your life is purely self serving, questioning your place in the universe is a normal.

Also props to OP for speaking truth.

 

[Renekun]

I sometimes lie in my bed with my eyes wide open not able to sleep because of my thoughts that are just too loud in my head. They tell me that life is too short to watch series, play games or read books. And that although I don't play a lot (that changed with Switch a bit &#128521,I don't really watch TV (it is on when I am at home though. The noise calms me down) and I just read while being on the tram to work.

Then I think. How many times did I go out to get in touch with other people? Many times. How often did I actually get in touch with new people? Not sooo often.

Then I realise that there is so much more. I do work 9 hours a day 5 times a week. I realise that my actual problem is my time I spend at work. I like my job but I don't do anything more than working and that I can't really change. I am doing good there and in a lot years, maybe after I have retired I can do the lazy thing. Maybe I will be dead by then.

I am doing sports about 1 hour a day and I am in a relationship for 4 years.

What I want to say is,that all that wasted time of gaming etc. lead to what I am now and I am satisfied. While playing League of Legends I got in touch with lovely and awsome people. I can talk about series like stranger things to people. The same goes for books.

Once I am much older, with my current mind, I will say, that I was part of the modern life (back then/the now) and I don't regret anything. When I worked, other people did as well, they watched and played and read the same as well. It is no use to feel depressive about your life as it is. You can change it. Or what is more important: People a lot years ago where not able to enjoy the freedom as we have it. Even our parents weren't as free as we are.

Don't compare yourself to other people, because the only thing that matters is what makes you happy.

 

[Aranjah]

I'm currently feeling this way, especially because it seems like all I play any more are the GaaS games. I feel like there's a checklist of stuff for me to do in at least one of them each day when I get home, and then it's time for bed. I feel like I don't have enough time for any single-player games or any of the skills or creative things I want to learn/do, and I look back like "I wish I had started learning X years ago, if I had spent as much time on X as I do on these games I'd be amazing by now." It keeps me up at night sometimes to think that realistically I'll never learn X, and if I do, not well.

On the other hand I'm in a long-distance relationship and these games are pretty much our only way of spending time together, so I continue rather than changing anything.

 

[mas8705]

In some regards, that's why I'm glad I'm working full time. It makes me value my gaming time even more now while ensure I don't over-saturate myself.

Just remember one thing: Most people usually live their life doing the things they enjoy the most. And in some regards, it can very well be gaming. If you need to give yourself from video games and do something else, go for it. Usually for me if I'm not working or gaming, I like to work on my writing.

 

[cereal_killerxx]

I mean, we're not. But even if you thought that, what would you do differently? Preach gospel 24/7 instead? Even gospel preachers need their downtime.

Indeed. Like I said, gaming is fun.

 

[SilverArrow20XX]

Yet in the end, it means nothing. You didn't improve your life in any way.

Except by adding joy to it you mean.

You didn't improve your social life,

Except for all the friends you can meet who share the same hobby.

your physical fitness,

Dance Dance Revolution. Seriously though, I work out an hour every single day and still game a lot.

your career,

The purpose of a career is to make money to do things you actually want to be doing. Why should anybody give a shit if their hobbies don't improve it.

your intelligence,

Many games exercise intelligence with puzzles, riddles, need for quick thinking, etc.

your sex life,

Unless you meet someone through the hobby of course.

your finances,

The purpose of finances are to spend on living necessities and then things you enjoy. Like video games. Hobbies aren't supposed to make you money. They're something to spend it on.

your standing among your peers.

Work peers? Who cares? Hobby peers? Yes it will.

You didn't learn a useful skill.

Critical thinking and typing efficiency are regularly improved by many games. Improved reflexes too.

You didn't take any real risk or leave your comfort zone. You didn't bring happiness to others or help those in need.

Why would I ever want to leave my comfort zone for a hobby? That kind of defeats the purpose.

You didn't add any richness to your life.

Unless you had a good time of course.

 

[Shanaynay]

Nah, i consider it a blessing.

Got me out of rough spots many times, made me befriend tons of wonderful people. I'm not sure where i would be without gaming as a pastime.

 

[TissueBox]

Sometimes we wouldn't have seen how another path would've benefited us if it weren't for the one we chose to take. At least there's the future, OP; now you can balance hobbies with your true passions and personal pursuits. Time waits for no one (anime film quote, endquote).

That said, games are as mindless as you want them to be as well. Approach and selectiveness are important, too.

 

[Guileless]

Peter Suderman argues (persuasively, I think) that games are a kind of universal basic income for the soul.

(Videogames) do provide, at least in the short to medium term, a sense of focus and success, structure and direction, skill development and accomplishment. Spend any time reading video game reviews, and you'll find that two of the most common terms of praise are that a game made the reviewer "feel powerful" and that it provided a "sense of achievement." Games, with their endless task lists and character-leveling systems, their choice architectures and mission checklists, are purpose generators. They bring order to gamers' lives.

Even the most open-ended games tend to offer a sense of progress and direction, completion and commitment. In other words, they make people happy—or at least happier, serving as a buffer between the player and despair. Video games, you might say, offer a sort of universal basic income for the soul.

https://www.google.com/amp/reason.com/archives/2017/06/13/young-men-are-playing

 

[Freshmaker]

Over the last few years I became a father, bought a house, made a major career change, and have been going to the gym 4 days a week. It's astounding how much more fulfilling all of those things are, compared to gaming. The feeling of accomplishment is so much more real and lasting. It makes me wonder who I would be today if I cut back on gaming 15 years ago.

I still game a little bit. I usually have vacation time to use up at the end of the year, so I'll take a week off and really indulge in a substantial game. Other than that, gaming has been relegated to 30-60 minute sessions here and there, if I'm tired at the end of the day and just feel like drinking a beer and having some mindless entertainment.

Anybody else make a similar realization?

Do yourself a favor and never add up the amount of time you spend on forums relative to the amount of time you game.

Because the forums win in my experience. By a lot.

 

[jellies_two]

I regret on an ongoing basis spending so much time on non-gaming part of gaming. Reading reviews watching videos and checking forums.

Now that I think about it that's a problem now with every hobby. If you like cars you get lost in car yoitube and car forums but rarely actually sit in a sports car. I bet if your addiction is boating your spend 10x as much time reading about gear and discussing online vs being out on the water. Etc.

We are getting deluged with 24/7 messaging for each hobby that replaces what used to be a meet up, a monthly magazine, a yearly show. There is so much of this available literally any hobby can now absorb all spare time.

 

[jjonez18]

If you do it alone. If done with others, gaming can fulfill all those needs. Get a fun family friendly game, call over your SO and kids. Make it family time.

Even doing it alone ain't so bad in moderation. Just like everything else that's good.

 

[PuppetMaster]

This book captures my thoughts on the subject: The Death of Ivan Ilyich
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Death_of_Ivan_Ilyich

OP should give it a read.

 

[Theodoricos]

I wish that I didn't care for video games for the reasons that you stated, OP.

However, I grew up with gaming and it's always been something I've been interested in all my life. It's not easy to let go.

 

[One Eyed Willy]

I don't, but thats because gaming even at the highest most addicting years of my life has always been an accessory as my biggest hobby. Meaning, I never spend more than 30-40% of my free time gaming, I always mixed it up. I worked out, partied, traveled, did other things outside and when I was done there.. went home and gamed. Most of my friends in my teens/20s were all non gamers, so we did non gamery things.. but I still would go home and game like a mad man every day.

If I only ever gamed in my life, I could see how one could get burnt out or regret not experiencing what life has to offer. Its never too late either, get out there.

 

[ZanDatsu]

- nvm

 

[prag16]

I regret more spending time reading about gaming

Yeah. Based on my schedule and responsibilities, I probably spend almost as much time reading about games/gaming than actually playing games these days. Bad.

That said, everything in moderation. It's why I'm annoyed by massive time sink type games. No time or inclination to play ANYTHING for 100+ hours. I do look back and laugh at how much time I spent on MK8 online. Too much. But much of that was done while talking to friends on skype so it wasn't a TOTAL black hole waste to my existence.

 

[Peterc]

Don't forget your brain learned many things because of gaming. Because of that you maybe are much better in math and other things. The same counts for music. I don't also regret the nostalgic/ fantasy from it. It's also a memory.

 

[SigSwat551]

Nothing wrong with gaming. Just make sure it's not an escape from living real life. Enjoy!

 

[Punchpudding]

I think I was always able to be a moderate gamer and because of that I do not regret a moment of it. There is an aspect of "guilty pleasure" or time wasting in gaming but you should also consider it as a source of inspiration.

I work in IT + programming and I can't quantify the amount of inspiration I got from video games that made me better at my job. Regardless of profession I think there is something you could have learned from a game. Games can be about behaviour, incentive, optimization, challenge, practice, fun, etc. These are things we can take and apply into other parts of our lives. I can read a book that inspires me to see things different or try something new, games do the same thing for me.

You can trudge through and consume all sorts of mind-blowing, insightful media in your life, get nothing out of it, and then regret it. But I think it's up to you get take away something meaningful from it.

 

[TLZ]

As long as you have your priorities set, you shouldn't have a problem.

 

[ShadowKingpin]

Were you entertained?

 

[Osukaa]

Nah, i consider it a blessing.

Got me out of rough spots many times, made me befriend tons of wonderful people. I'm not sure where i would be without gaming as a pastime.

Gaming has gotten me through so much in my childhood that I don't know where I would be now if I had not been gaming as a kid. I've also made some amazing friends that love gaming as well. It may sound lame but gaming has changed me for the better I think. I was able to stay away from drugs, violence, and many things that my peers/family were into at that time. To this day I look at my cousins and sigh in relief that I stayed the path that im on right now. Im not saying im better than anyone I just feel that I made decisions that helped guide me away from things that would have got me in trouble.

For your situation OP I can understand where your coming from and I guess my advice would be to just move on and do what you enjoy. Its no use to mope around and regret about the past. Just go forward doing what you want to do and use it as a learning lesson. I apologize Gaf if I come across sometimes as being preachy or a know it all.

 

[Yazzees]

Esports titles solve a lot of those problems if you take an effort to be active in the scene. It's what's kept my interest in gaming alive into my late 20s.

 

[Chastten]

Guess what? Two decades after you pass away everyone will have forgotten you and anything and everything you've accomplished in life is forgotten. Such a waste. In that regard everything you do in life is incredibly pointless, and gaming is no different then going to the gym or maintaining your social life. I mean, 10 years from now you've probably lost contact with at least 70% of the people you socialize with now. Makes it kinda pointless to spend all that time on, doesn't it.

If you don't enjoy gaming beyond a casual passtime, I get that, I've been there. But your reasoning is a bit silly imo.

 

[Shanaynay]

Gaming has gotten me through so much in my childhood that I don't know where I would be now if I had not been gaming as a kid. I've also made some amazing friends that love gaming as well. It may sound lame but gaming has changed me for the better I think. I was able to stay away from drugs, violence, and many things that my peers/family were into at that time. To this day I look at my cousins and sigh in relief that I stayed the path that im on right now. Im not saying im better than anyone I just feel that I made decisions that helped guide me away from things that would have got me in trouble

Thank you for sharing this! Worry not, it isn't lame at all, i'm the same way (with violence,drugs, etc) as are many of us i'm sure.

 

[entremet]

Usually, this happens when you're unsatisfied with life goals or lack of balance.

There is a deeper meaning here, OP.

But leisure is a great thing and you should not feel guilty. Check out your parents. I bet they wasted their life on TV. The generations before, on reading or other things. We're not meant to be machines.

 

[MikeyB]

I greatly regret gaming and my use of gaming forums. Once I finish Zelda BotW and Nier Automata, I think I am done.

I have been playing since the NES era. My periods of intense gaming (seven hours a week or more) were when the Genesis, Gameboy, GameCube, and PS3 were in their prime. My gaming is tapering off.

What I like about gaming is that it is a quick route to "flow." I have never found gaming relaxing, but I sure have found it enjoyable.

What I regret is that gaming offers very little in the way of side benefits. Unlike playing sports with friends, there is no physical activity. Unlike good literature and film, games have done a pretty poor job of putting you into the mind (not shoes) of somebody different. There are exceptions, but they are rare. Even stamp collecting builds knowledge of a thing in the real world and results in a tangible object that cam be shared. The progress in the games you have played is unlikely to be shared with anyone.

The argument that it is all pointless or you can game and do other things doesn't hold much weight. What you do obviously matters to other people (volunteer, help a friend, cook with your SO). Of course there is a point to your actions. Even things you enjoy for the intrinsic value of being that thing will have other effects. If you can choose the things you want to enjoy, choose those with better benefits.

While you can certainly game and do other things, our time is finite. The question has to be "why game instead of [insert other hobby here]?" rather than "why game?" Increasingly, I find that the reasons to game over other activities are dwindling. It's a distraction from more meaningful pointless activity.

 

[Stevey]

If you enjoy it, its not time wasted.
Theres a lot worse things you could be doing.

 

[Rhysser]

Over the last few years I became a father, bought a house, made a major career change, and have been going to the gym 4 days a week. It's astounding how much more fulfilling all of those things are, compared to gaming. The feeling of accomplishment is so much more real and lasting. It makes me wonder who I would be today if I cut back on gaming 15 years ago.

This seems like a false comparison. I do all of those things (own a house, focus on education, career, physical sports / gym 5x a week, family), and devote significant time to gaming. The only reason gaming isn't 'real' achievement is because it's not recognized in most cases. But then again, neither are the amateur sports I play, or the time I spend watching movies. And on the other side of that gamers in eSports are now recognized as having 'real' achievements.

The reason I'm a 'core' gamer (is that even the term any more?) is the same reason I've pursued all other aspects of life to the highest levels I could - when I like something I invest in it, otherwise I don't do it. So for me gaming has been just a facet for my drive to manifest, just like the other things in life I've pursued. Gaming has also directly lead to my career, leading me to learn programming and understand hardware, and generally was the catalyst that sparked my interest in technology.

Some people do game as a way to just 'fill time' and not do anything else, but that certainly isn't everyone, and not me. Without gaming I would have for sure achieved much, much less.

 

[CaptainSmirnov]

I feel this way if I play a shitty game. But it's all in moderation people. Some days I play 4 hours in a day, some days I play 0. If your real life starts suffering that's when it's a problem.

 

[Sweet Bellic]

Gaming for me is like this endless cycle of hype and disappointment.

Hate to break it you, but you've just described life. You think going to the gym four times a week is fulfilling now? Just wait until your body inevitably ages and undermines all of your attempts at self-preservation. Then you'll undoubtedly visit an exercise enthusiast forum and lament how much time you wasted at the gym that you could have spent with your kids or whatever. And the cycle of hype and disappointment continues.

Love your username btw. Sorry to be a downer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUsWxOZolVQ

 

[Metroxed]

You could apply that line of thought to anything. I think it is okay as long as you enjoyed it and it didn't prevent you from spending that money in something you needed more, like food.

 

[n0razi]

Time wasted on gaming pales in comparison to time wasted posting on internet forums

 

[Marauder Shields]

I totally agree. I look back on my prime gaming years with regret, not pride or fondness.

Thankfully I've come grown up a little in this regard and don't really play games anymore, and thus am able to spend time on more productive things.