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[Joe Molotov]

Forest hikes giving people STD's now. No-one is safe.

 

[teruterubozu]

He didn't say what type of wood.

A Naked Snake in the bush

 

[Pilgor]

doused myself in DEET

Kelly!

 

[Featheredkitten]

Dunno, ticks really dig in and feed on your juicy nutrients, crabs on the other hand hang out and party on.

Personally, I think I would simply shave my nuts and get some treatment.

As opposed to sitting there and trying to dig out ticks.

That's right....on the crotch you can just shave. I uhhhh, honestly forgot about that.

 

[Hoo-doo]

against my better judgement I still opened this thread

Hell, I wasn't disappointed.

 

[Devolution]

for future reference.. since we are talking about it...What is the best way to get rid of crabs? Do you have to go to a doctor or are there creams?

Might as well go to the doc since you need to be tested for STIs.

 

[hydruxo]

This is literally my worst nightmare.

Wear some compression shorts and/or jeans next time man.

 

[FStop7]

 

[Mysterious]

Yup, that's a louse.



Not sure how it's a backfire, he started the thread for help and got it. Be nice, the OP is having a lousy day.

 

[freenudemacusers]

ballsy choice imo

gonna lick the plate clean too

 

[Ethranes]

What bush did you rummage in to get those?

 

[Jigorath]

Oh so now it's an STD?

Oh boy...

 

[CheezyMac88]

 

[Crimsonclaw111]

To the suggestion of the bleach bath... don't bleach and urine form some type of lethal gas? Or is that just cat or dog pee?

I mean, I don't usually pee when I take a bath, but if you've got your dick in bleach I don't know what's going to happen.

Chlorine gas is what comes out, isn't it?

 

[Mohonky]

for future reference.. since we are talking about it...What is the best way to get rid of crabs? Do you have to go to a doctor or are there creams?



Does shaving matter w/crabs? Don't they burrow underneath the skin?

No the shaving is for easier access of treatment, shaving alone wont rid you of them no. But they do love to hair out on hair follicles.

 

[StoopKid]

This is literally nasty as fuck.

Go see a doctor now !

 

[Featheredkitten]

Might as well go to the doc since you need to be tested for STIs.

Shave the nuts, wash everything in hot hot water, bed sheets

Spoiler

I know how you are Gaffers

and whatever, go to the doctor and then call your partners so you know who to blame.

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

I had one in my penis once.

Edit: oh, so it's crabs.

 

[Timedog]

do ticks live in soil?

 

[Angelus Errare]

I don't think bathing in bleach is a smart idea. Just sayin, it sounds really dumb.

 

[Deleted member 13876]

So last Sunday we got the horse worm bursting out of a locust thread, now ticks feeding on balls.

Del Toro, even your marketing is strange!

 

[asthmagasm]

My wife works in daycare and said that it looked similar to scabies (did not know this was a bug before clicking on this thread) and they burrow and causes the shitty bumps. It didn't look like any of the lice she's had to deal with.

Either way doctor ASAP OP

 

[soultron]

The reveal combined with the moment of realization made me bellow with laughter.

Spoiler

I'm so sorry OP. Go see a doc/urologist ASAP.

 

[Lionel Mandrake]

I don't think bathing in bleach is a smart idea. Just sayin, it sounds really dumb.

Bullshit. Follow your dreams, OP.

 

[FStop7]

Maybe they're nanomachines in the process of building you a pair of superballs.

 

[EmCeeGramr]

paramedic, i've encountered some kind of cave demon

 

[Twilight Gap]

Every man cringed while reading this thread.

 

[Featheredkitten]

My wife works in daycare and said that it looked similar to scabies (did not know this was a bug before clicking on this thread) and they burrow and causes the shitty bumps. It didn't look like any of the lice she's had to deal with.

Either way doctor ASAP OP

Crabs look different from head lice, because pubic hair is coarser and spaced differently from head hair. Evolution yo.

 

[CountAntonius]

That looks like a crab louse.

 

[Kinyou]

Flush your entire apartment with alcohol.

do ticks live in soil?

I think the baby ones do (though those also shouldn't go for humans.) Perhaps they were desperate, or the balls were just to tasty.

 

[Hoo-doo]

Bullshit. Follow your dreams, OP.

If "following your dreams" means teabagging a cup of harsh chemicals, then i'm good right here.

 

[rrc1594]

Best thread ever hands down.

 

[Featheredkitten]

If "following your dreams" means teabagging a cup of harsh chemicals, then i'm good right here.

Don't diss on other's kinks, man.

 

[Roo]

Flush your entire apartment with alcohol.

Got a better idea

 

[commedieu]

Might as well go to the doc since you need to be tested for STIs.

Once again, going to the professionals who are experienced with this is the best choice.

Unfortunate, but Naked -- u should probably give a heads up to your most recent partner. Seems like the right thing to do.

 

[SeanR1221]

FUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKK

Who's the lucky lady?

 

[soultron]

paramedic, i've encountered some kind of cave demon

I'm fucking dying here omfg

CRAB BATTLE!

 

[Featheredkitten]

Who's the lucky lady?

Seconded. Was she skeevy? gonna need some details here.

 

[jerry1594]

If any of the tick bites gets red, go to doctor asap.

Wait, looking at the video that's no tick. OP, you got crabs looool.

As soon as I read this I busted out laughing lmao
I'm sorry op, you're gonna need new balls.

 

[Savitar]

Buddy I think we're going to have to nuke your balls.

It's the only way to be sure.

 

[Rapstah]

Exposure to chlorine gas apparently has a 1% chance of killing you, so I would pee and take a shower before that bleach bath.

 

[Teggy]

Congrats on the sex?

Yeah, anyone with a dog will tell you that's no tick. Plus when the tick has managed to burrow in it just looks like a greyish seed sticking out.

 

[Hoo-doo]

Once again, going to the professionals who are experienced with this is the best choice.

Unfortunate, but Naked -- u should probably give a heads up to your most recent partner. Seems like the right thing to do.

 

[Devolution]

My wife works in daycare and said that it looked similar to scabies (did not know this was a bug before clicking on this thread) and they burrow and causes the shitty bumps. It didn't look like any of the lice she's had to deal with.

Either way doctor ASAP OP

Head on the left, crab on the right.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Title change

 

[FStop7]

Who's the lucky lady?

 

[Pristine_Condition]

Looks like crabs. And I doubt you got it from the forest.

I volunteered at a homeless services non-profit for a couple years and have seen both head and public lice. (Thankfully not in their "native environment.) That's what these look like.

There's a product called "Rid" by Bayer that is pretty much the best thing going to get rid of lice. http://ridlice.com

You're also probably going to want to treat all your clothing and bedding and your chair and couch, if applicable.

 

[ffdgh]

Lol at the title change.

 

[botty]

The OP's tag

LOL

 

[C.Dark.DN]

I had really small ticks on my balls and in my butt crack once when I was 8. I was climibing trees with a friend.

I was taking a shit at my grandparents a day or two later and was like wtfffff

Rubbing alcohol helped them wiggle out