Honestly, you've blossomed into one of my favorite people of late. When I see you chip in on the kind of issues I care about, I find you both more accepting of true debate and much more reasoned in your posts.
I don't want to sound like your dad, or anything, but you've grown a lot. Seeing people change for the better... when I'm regularly playing the roll of 'blunt object' trying to nudge a bigot far enough out of line that the ban hammer comes down... it's really refreshing.
I don't think I'm going to stop playing the blunt object, but you and Jim and other people who have become more progressive remind me that sometimes you really can just reason with people to help guide them in more positive directions.
That's really sweet and encouraging. I try not to shy away from the truth of my actions. I made a lot of mistakes. I fucked up. I was wrong. Everything that happened to me - from the severe backlash from people who used to respect me to the negative comments plastered in every neoGAF youtube link to the demodding - was absolutely deserved based on those mistakes. I am deeply sorry for the shit I've done, and have to accept that it is everyone's right to forgive or not forgive for as long as they like. I have no control over that nor should I. I try to tell myself that it was partly my severe drug addiction caused by what happened to me when I was 18, partly my extreme anxiety and depression I was fighting and therefore self-medicating. But the reality is I made bad choices. And those bad choices don't stop being bad because there were other factors to consider. I can't expect everyone to analyze the complexity of my actions. At the end of the day, those actions were still wrong.
So all I can ask for me - and for anyone else who has ever made a mistake that is immortalized in online form - is for the chance to show people I have changed. All I can request is that people maybe stop and look at the big picture and compare past and current behavior. Maybe they'll see I have made an effort, or maybe they will say I haven't. I have to accept it either way. But doing these sorts of things with the motivation that forgiveness is possible makes all the difference.
Everyone has a different line for when forgiveness is warranted. I just think perspective is necessary. Most people made mistakes on a forum and were often young and foolish when doing so. People grow up. I've been on neoGAF for a decade (20yro-30yro), and I've been completely clean for two of them. Evilore is also turning 30. I don't know how old Jim Sterling is, but I'm sure he's spent aeons online and has come around a lot since he was younger.
I've been following your posts in GG, and they're usually huge and well informed and passionate. I mean, you're alive and you're trying to make a difference. And whether you make mistakes in that process or not, I'd hope people would hold out forgiveness in their heart when that time comes as well. Because there's nothing more human than to err.
Not everyone is worthy of forgiveness, not to say Jim isn't worthy. Also maybe some people are calling out Jim because his actions may seem hypocritical to them.
You have to do some real bad shit to not be worthy of forgiveness. We're not talking about rapists or pedophiles or murderers or something. We're talking about people who, when younger, made unfortunate comments on forums or twitter. That's what I mean when talking about perspective. If you think someone is not willing of forgiveness because they made a few mistakes on forums or twitter, then to me that just says more about the stubborn person in question that the person who made a mistake. It's quite immature to never move on for shit like that when change is apparent.
Yes, if someone has a certain behavior and that behavior is really offensive, it's absolutely natural to be skeptical about future behavior. But if that person demonstrates they changed in the interim, if that person showcases real movement toward a different standard... that they've apologized for their past actions, that they've made moves to correct mistakes, that they've synced up with a more progressive approach to life... why would we keep holding this shit over their head?
They just made mistakes. You've made mistakes. Everyone has. And it means we all can come to a point where we change, if we try hard enough. it's a good thing. I wouldn't want a world where no one makes mistakes. I do want a world where people are willing to forgive for those mistake, if it is appropriate.
Teeth said:
It's interesting you bring this up, because it's key to the point: When someone in some level of power brings the hammer down on others, remarking how they are filth or human garbage or whatever, removing their ability to participate or show some sort of change in the future, it has a habit of coming back around. Like you said, pretty much anyone can dredge something up from the past and throw it back in one's face...which is why I think people shouldn't be so hasty to be excessively harsh to mistakes in the first place.
And they often face the consequences of their action, as you outlined in the post. Those consequences are the direct result of the mistakes, and it's part of any atonement that comes for people to truly be forgiven. Just because you're in a position of power does not suddenly make you less worthy of forgiveness or less able to be young and immature. People make mistakes. It's just human nature. The only thing that matters is if they recognize when those mistakes are made, try to distance themselves from that behavior and make persistent moves to stay changed.
Jim Sterling has made such moves, so has Evilore. I can't comment on myself, I just know I've been trying. And there's a billion fellow GAFers and people I can also point to that have made mistakes, and have come around and demonstrated they have changed. And I forgive each and everyone of them, just as I hope people can forgive me.
