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Magna Carta: JESUS CHRIST THE BOX AUGH

D

Drinky Crow

Banned
did we REALLY need the embossed and extruded horse nipples on the box cover? i protest this misapplication of 3d. i feel like i've just bought a porno starring androgynes and lactation fetish whores. this is the first game i've ever had to hide from my wife.

maybe trading in civ 4 wasn't such a bright idea. boy, Travis, if this game sucks, we're gonna have WORDS. the combat system had better throw me over the hobbyhorse of quality mechanics and make me squeal so hard i forget about THOSE FUCKING SCARY EMBOSSED NIPPLES.

edit: White Man is rubbing those freakish extrusions right now. "they're as big as fists!" he shrieks.
 
B

bitwise

Banned
5052-Elephant-Ears-cmyk.jpg
 
B

Brandon F

Well congratulations! You got yourself caught!
That's hip-STER you smarmy testicle.

But really why did you bother with this?
 
D

Drinky Crow

Banned
bad day at work yesterday + paycheck + getting rid of old games!

hey, remember. i bought Xenosaga, too. if it sucks, I'm sure I'll get incredible mileage out of it trolling around here.
 
I

IJoel

Member
We need gameplay impressions. GO DRINKY DO YER DUTY!

It's can't be as bad as that OTHER GAME YOU GOT a while ago.
 
D

Drinky Crow

Banned
androgynes, loli, lactation: throw in some tentacles and a dickgirl, and you have the status quo for modern Japanese male sexuality!


this thread needs some demi, stat
 
M

Mrbob

Member
PSM just came in the mail, and they gave this game a 5.5.

So I imagine it must really suck or it must be great.
 
T

terrene

Banned
Drinky Crow said:
terrene is so gonna mock me for this. :(
Click to expand...
Owning a transvestite RPG is shame enough. Next thing I know you're going to pick up Kokoro Wish.

All I can say now is that the graphics are better if you're dressed in assless pants, and wearing a thong, eyelash implants, platform shoes and a feather headdress.

Seriously, dude -- the 360 is launching next week and DQ8 is already out. Buying a Samsung HDTV is all the Korean love needed for this year. If I'm wrong, we can buy you a Kia and give it breast implants.
 
D

Drinky Crow

Banned
Jesus -- either the bearded Luke Perry one or the baby version -- is crying because shame and dignity are now officially dead when it comes to RPG character art.

I'm actually LESS perturbed by the overwhelmingly effeminate characteristics of the main character than I am by the fact that the female characters (and possibly the male ones as well; i went blind looking at the art book) have massively distended areolae pushing through their fetishwear. lovingly shaded, no less. come ON people.

edit: White Man sez that isn't a BAD thing and that for some of you the embossed box cover will be as close as you get to touching a real woman's fiddly bits. i think he's talking about you, Cloudy.
 
I

Ironclad

Member
Yes, I think the wisest course of action would be to promptly return Magna Carta and then pick up DQ VIII the first chance you get. No need to ruin DQ VIII's brilliant launch.
 
D

Dragona Akehi

Retired
Drinky Crow said:
I told you cuntswabs I preordered dq8! there's no betrayal! REALLY!
Click to expand...

Who cares if you preordered? You're wasting your TIME on this shill, which is better served in playing higher quality RPGs.

Hell go play Brandish. It's infinitely more fun than probably half the shit you've bought recently.

Portable Brandish... PSP... mmm... Need PSP.
 
T

terrene

Banned
Drinky Crow said:
I told you cuntswabs I preordered dq8! there's no betrayal! REALLY!
Click to expand...
Magna Carta is for abnormal Asia-philes who have never seen a real woman in the flesh, not married men with daughters and Indiana Jones DVDs. Besides, Vagrant Story is overrated.

MC_CrimsonStigmata02.jpg

lol

And you make fun of me for playing Final Fantasy!

I will from here on out just reply "Magna Carta" to such taunts.
 
M

Musashi Wins!

FLAWLESS VICTOLY!
r u going to support Legend of Average Heroes tomorrow? Or does your weakness for rpgs only go so far?!? I demand equal treatment.
 
M

Mrbob

Member
I gotta say, after reading all your rants Drinky about bad art, and seeing the art for this game, I can't believe you picked this up.

This is Konex level purchase.
 
T

The Take Out Bandit

Member
MANGINA CARTA?!

Not even I can tolerate Hyung Tae Kim Jong Illin' drawrings. Fuckin' Laffy Taffy torsos. No amount of lovingly rendered (man)tits can cover up the fact you've never looked in an anatomy book!

All my gay points are spent on the swass boygirl from FF12 anyhow.
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
So the art is fucktarded, but how bad is the game really? I mean I've fucking played though Mega Man Command Mission, so I'm used to pain. How terrible is terrible?
And how mediocre is LoH? I'm gonna drop my hard earned cash money tomorrow on that sucker (Along with DQ8 you fools) so I can stop pretending I like PoPolocrois.

Dragona Akehi said:
BRANDISH!!!!... BRRRRAAAAAANNNNNNNDISSSSSSHHHHHH!!
Click to expand...

Is there a remake/port coming or you just talkin' crazy talk?
 
T

Tabs

Member
Drinky Crow said:
maybe trading in civ 4 wasn't such a bright idea. boy, Travis, if this game sucks, we're gonna have WORDS. the combat system had better throw me over the hobbyhorse of quality mechanics and make me squeal so hard i forget about THOSE FUCKING SCARY EMBOSSED NIPPLES.
Click to expand...
Uh oh. I forgot I haven't been back to the forum with updates since hour 6 or so of the game. The character progression, skill-wise not story-wise, is pathetic. Around hour 15 or so I realized that I still have the same shitty styles that I did at the beginning of the game. So, all the intricate details of a battle (chi, leadership, styles, stances) are a fucking waste. Just like I was warned by people that had played the import, it all gets so stale that I actually started avoiding battles, which is usually the only reason I play these games in the first place :(

Did I say Vagrant Story? Sorry? .......
 
D

Dragona Akehi

Retired
RevenantKioku said:
Is there a remake/port coming or you just talkin' crazy talk?
Click to expand...

God, I wish. Been replaying the SuperFami version (which looks a shit-tonne better than the HUcard version for the PC engine). BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUN.

The PSP comment was referring to emulators. Sadly.
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Dragona Akehi said:
God, I wish. Been replaying the SuperFami version (which looks a shit-tonne better than the HUcard version for the PC engine). BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUN.

The PSP comment was referring to emulators. Sadly.
Click to expand...

Well some of us fools mistakenly upgraded our PSP versions and are stuck with the SWEET AWESOMENESS of the PSP RPG library.
*sob*
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Bataman said:
Wow, from left-field. Your bloodline will end with you.

It's too difficult for casuals, but not overrated.
Click to expand...

It's up there with Dragon Quarter and Rez in overrated non-fun.
 
V

Victrix

*beard*
This thread delivers.

Meanwhile, VS haters burn in the eternal flames of hades

Do the box nipples lactate? Inquiring minds
 
P

Pachinko

Member
Aw, Rez aint so bad but yeah dragon quarter and Vagrant story are the opposite of tits, balls you might say. Drinky, atleast you still have AOE3 to come back to if hugemongous gorpy tats arent' doing it for you.
 
D

Drinky Crow

Banned
Vagrant Story was fuckin' incredible, and the only worthy 40/40 Famitsu's ever handed out.

Magna Carta seems to be really sketchy, and my wife just spent the better part of 30 minutes laughing at the art book. Geezus, for $35 worth of trade-ins and my lunch money for the week I got

A) laughed at by my wife
B) called a lolifan by White Man
C) given up my trump card for mocking terrene
D) a pretty dubious game

At this point, I think I'd rather have a cat spray directly into my mouth than be associated with Magna Carta.


Travis :( how could you, man. You gave me the gift of Disgaea!
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
I propose you send it to me, saying it was a gift for a fellow forum retard, and you had to just "make sure the disc worked".
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Drinky Crow said:
Drinky's reputation as a gamer of restrained taste and superior discretion is irrevocably damaged. :(
Click to expand...

Quick, make a thread about Mario Kart sucking! THERE IS STILL TIME.
 
A

AniHawk

Member
I have Magna Carta preordered, but only because I thought I could get the artbook and sell it and use the credit towards Mega Man X Collection.
 
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