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[RNK]

The only game my fiance can play is the Sims. She's a goddamned wizard with those complicated ass controls, but can't figure out how to use two sticks playing Call of Duty.

When I want to play a game, I play. She'll screw around on the laptop. Equally, she has her own time with the tv to watch what she wants. Give and take.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

You don't have to have all the same hobbies to be together. But gaming can take up a lot of time. But if your married you gotta find a fit and you gotta not spend too much time doing something alone.

This, I’m still gaming and happily married but you just cannot spend all the time you have outside world and sleep gaming - I don’t think there are many women that will be ok with that.
I have a family as well so the compromise was that I get to game 2 evenings in a week - sounds good to me, wouldn’t be able to put much more time anyway with work and movies/books.

 

[Elektro Demon]

I'd like a blowjob while I'm gaming. That would be the perfect wife for me.

 

[xrnzaaas]

I was preparing for a different outcome when I was reading OP's post. Maybe I don't have a lot of experience with women because of being in the same relationship for many years, but I think it's very difficult (impossible?) to change their minds for good. It's more like postponing the 'disaster'. The topic can easily come back during an argument or a discussion about finances.

 

[Kimahri]

This whole girls don't like games thing is a myth. I've had quite a few girlfriends over the years, and not one of them had a problem with games. Most were either into games or interested enough to play or watch. None were opposed to it in any way.

 

[MMaRsu]

Sorry OP but there are compatibility red flags everywhere. Nobody has the right to try and change the hobbies of other people to suit them.

When I met my current wife she wouldn't touch a game with a bargepole but she respected my hobby and has always afforded me the time and space to do as I please. Fast-forward 11 years later and I've since introduced her to some games and she now even plays certain types of games with me as long as they are predominantly story driven and don't require fast reaction times (divinity OS, her story, until dawn, detroit, etc).

And that's what it's about, both parties should approach one another with an open mind and not judge one another's interests and passions. Sometimes it will open your eyes to things in a different way and it enables you to grow, bond and share new moments together.

Thats just how most women are

If you say you play games they will have an emotional response.

 

[Hudo]

If someone starts to work on trying to change you, it's time to bail. Only you have the right to change yourself.

 

[Tschumi]

Married and Gaming.... After you've done all the daily tasks that come with marriage.

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

My wife plays games and my kids play games. I'll be surprised if this "classic" conflict sticks around for another generation since everyone has games on their phones. Spouses will then find something else to hang over their partners' heads.

 

[Moogle11]

No issues with it here. Been married over two years, together and living together for 8. We’re both introverts and need our alone time, and she’s also a workaholic and works from home more than I do. Finally, we aren’t having kids (neither of us remotely ever wanted them and we can’t stand them).

So we have plenty of time for both spending together and enjoying our own hobbies.

 

[Moogle11]

This whole girls don't like games thing is a myth. I've had quite a few girlfriends over the years, and not one of them had a problem with games. Most were either into games or interested enough to play or watch. None were opposed to it in any way.

I wouldn’t say it’s a myth, just not as widespread as many make it out to be. There are definitley a lot of women who don’t like gaming and won’t date gamers—saw quite a few mentions of that in women’s profiles back when I was in the online dating game, have seen mention of it as a negative in article’s in women’s magazines (things like “signs you may be dating a man child” articles) etc.

In my experience reading those profiles or going on datess with people who had those views and didn’t list them in their profiles, those chicks were either (or some combo of the following) gold diggers wanting a super ambitious, workaholic guy to support them, super ambitious workaholic types themselves and only wanting the same in a partner or just clingy types who wanted a partner who would be 100% about them and their future kids.

None of that shit remotely interested me as an extreme introvert who needs lots of alone time and never remotely wanted kids so it was just as much of a “fuck off” for me not to contact them as gaming was a turn off for them so it worked out fine.

 

[Blade2.0]

My ex was the worst gamer ever. Just watching her play made me angry....I said, babe, you need to play this stuff on your own and get better at it before we play together

 

[SirTerry-T]

Just play the games when you feel like it, while your other half is doing her thing or the telly isn't in use when she has finished watching Hollywood Housewife Gypsy Wedding or whatever. It's a question about that doesn't really warrant some deep thinking/navel gazing to be honest.
Just don't take the piss and your other half will be fine.

 

[Sidney Prescott]

My wife plays games and my kids play games. I'll be surprised if this "classic" conflict sticks around for another generation since everyone has games on their phones. Spouses will then find something else to hang over their partners' heads.

This is how I feel too. I think Gaming has become more acceptable in recent memory, especially with the Lockdown and everybody being isolated and needing an outlet for social interaction. It has become more normal to play games on your phone/tablet. Phones are getting powerful enough to play fully fledged games too now, like Fortnite and stuff like that. Incredible when you think about it.

 

[Majima Everywhere System]

I’m not sharing the tv with some gamer girl. Do something together every night, otherwise, feel ok doing your own thing.

 

[888]

Been married almost 20 years. We have a healthy respect for each other’s hobbies and give each other time for that. She doesn’t care what I buy and I’ve even spent near 10k on sim racing alone. Both of my kids also play.

Best advice I can give is make sure there is a balance especially at the start of a relationship and build to it. But again I’m a different generation than you young tiktokers so who knows what the younger girls are interested in besides showing off online.

 

[highrider]

That’s great that your wife after hard resistance to your gaming has come to a state of quiet resentment instead

 

[AmuroChan]

Totally doable. The key is communication and balance. Talk with your spouse and agree on what each person needs in terms of "me" time and "together" time. My wife is a non-gamer, but she understands my love for gaming. We make sure there's a good balance of us time and alone time. It's all about being transparent and talking it out so that both of you are on the same page.

 

[Cycom]

Does she spend a bunch of time on her phone? Mine does. I don't see how someone who does that can give you crap about games. It's a hobby. As long as you're not hurting anyone she should support it.

My wife once told me that she didn’t like me playing video games. I put my controller down, hoping I wouldn’t be invaded, and proceeded to inform her that I don’t like her watching 90 Day Fiancé. Wasn’t brought up again.

 

[TrainedRage]

If you have a good wife yes.

 

[RowdyReverb]

I guess I’m lucky. I’ve been married for 8 years, wife has never minded gaming as my hobby. She knew I was a gamer before we got married, so it came as no surprise.

Now, kids. Kids put a severe dent in my ability to play games. My playtime is relegated to 10-11pm on select nights. Fortunately we don’t watch much TV, otherwise I wouldn’t play at all

 

[Sidney Prescott]

My wife once told me that she didn’t like me playing video games. I put my controller down, hoping I wouldn’t be invaded, and proceeded to inform her that I don’t like her watching 90 Day Fiancé. Wasn’t brought up again.

I've experienced that before. Some people think Gaming is a huge waste of time but then will watch Reality TV Shows or bingewatch Netflix all day for the same amount of time. Kind of baffles me. It's really only the same thing, just less involvement as you are only consuming as a watcher. The good thing about games is they have far more social aspect in multiplayer and you are using your brain more usually.

 

[Perry Simm but in space]

I think things really changed during the course of the last decade. Games became much more mainstream thanks to better graphics, greater accessibility and a wider variety of themes and settings.

Me and my wife have known each other for almost ten years. In the beginning, she was tolerant of video games (growing up with two older brothers helped I'm sure), but never really interested in them. But she was a fan of horror/thriller movies, so the first games we played together were games that evoked those movies: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, Heavy Rain, Until Dawn.

Then Far Cry 5 came out, and since my wife had always had a thing for stories about crazy cults, we played it together and loved it. Next we played The Witcher 3. From then on she was a believer (and had hell of a crush on Geralt lol). It took her some time get comfortable with a controller, but I think it was when we played Assassin's Creed: Syndicate that it finally clicked, and she was able to finish whole missions on her own. Say what you want about Ubisoft games, but they are a great way to introduce people to gaming.

Normally my wife doesn't care much for playing as "strong" female characters, but she liked Evie from AC:S. Another thing she never cared for is crazy anime aesthetics. So one day I decided to give her a real shock and put in Bayonetta, and to my surprise she completely fell in love with it and even the character.

Stuff like The Sims she was never interested in. Today her favorite genre is first person shooters. I'm basically living the dream.

 

[EverydayBeast]

You’re in trouble if the reason you can’t game is because of your wife lol

 

[Reckheim]

been married for about 5 years now (lived together for 8). I probably play more games now then I ever did.

it really depends on who you find to be your significant other. Just gotta make sure its someone that has their own hobbies and doesn't need your constant attention.

 

[kittoo]

My wife just gifted me a PS5 so pretty good now.

But the beginning was horrible, a lot like you OP. She just couldnt accept it. Kept nagging about it, complaining about it to everyone. It's weird how girls are wired. I dont understand her shitty soap operas but I dont bother her if she watches them. But girls must make you do and live how they want. You can see I am still salty about that lol.

But then I had had enough and told her to back-off and shut the fuck up about it. Told her that its something that i really enjoy and she has no right to change me. Had to be stern about it but she understood. Now I play a couple of hours at night most of the days and she doesn't mind (or at least doesn't bother me about it). Even happily gifted me a PS5. Touchwood.

 

[BigBooper]

You can be married to a game, yes.

I am not sure which game you would play though to achieve that.

Probably an MMORPG. Its not that uncommon.

Games are ideal partners, you know.

The Dark Souls style games are the closest to being married to a human. Bloodborne is pretty hot.

 

[Valonquar]

My wife used to game then lost interest entirely. It sucks.

 

[VAL0R]

My wife has absolutely no interest in gaming whatsoever. I'm 100% OK with her complete indifference. I might even prefer it, I'm not sure. She only bothers me if I'm spending a dumb amount of free time on them, or playing them when I have other duties I'm neglecting, which is understandable and good even.

 

[Moogle11]

She only bothers me if I'm spending a dumb amount of free time on them, or playing them when I have other duties I'm neglecting, which is understandable and good even.

That's a good point. There's definitely some women (and men too I suppose) who have stupidly negative views of games and people that play them at all. But a lot of the guys I know who've gotten shit from their SOs about gaming were people who just playing a shit ton of games and neglecting other things. People used to playing WoW or other things nearly every waking hour they weren't working, 6+ hours of CoD most every night etc. That's usually not going to fly with a significant relationship as it leaves little time for other things (assumign they're working full time anyway).

Something generally has to give there as being in a relationship means being available in an amount that's compatible with the other person's needs, to do their fair share of house work/errands, being a parent (if applicable) etc. Outside of gaming addicts, there's nothing necessarily wrong with being obsessed with the hobby as long as they're taking care of work and chores and parenting etc., one just has to find an SO who has their own obsessions with hobbies that means they also need a lot of alone time. A hardcore gamer wanting to play a bunch of hours most days isn't going to work with someone that needs to spend a ton of time with their partner most days.

It's all about finding a good fit. Too many people end up marrying people they don't really fit with and it comes to a head over time. Someone that wants to game a ton isn't going to please someone who is needy and wants couple time every day. But it goes both way as an introverted gamer (or whatever time consuming hobby) is going to feel smothered by someone who is so needy. Yet I've seen many couples not realize that before marriage somehow. IDK if it's just naivety, people thinking the other will change/they can change them eventually or some combination there of (and other factors).

 

[Aesius]

My wife has absolutely no interest in gaming whatsoever. I'm 100% OK with her complete indifference. I might even prefer it, I'm not sure. She only bothers me if I'm spending a dumb amount of free time on them, or playing them when I have other duties I'm neglecting, which is understandable and good even.

Same here. Occasionally (as in maybe once a year) my wife will want to play something on the SNES Classic or Spyro on PS4. Other than that, zero interest.

 

[BadBurger]

I'm engaged and still manage to game plenty. It helps that my fiance enjoys casual stuff like Animal Crossing so she doesn't bother me if I want to waste a night playing a game. Besides, pandemic and all, it's not like our night life is on fire.

My ex though, damn, she gave me hell for just buying a PS4. If she wasn't so hot I would have dumped her ass sooner.

 

[Durask]

Let me put it this way:

Of all the things that are wrong with you that your GF/wife will find and complain about, gaming will be wayyy down on the list.

 

[ArtemisClydeFrog]

My wife once told me that she didn’t like me playing video games. I put my controller down, hoping I wouldn’t be invaded, and proceeded to inform her that I don’t like her watching 90 Day Fiancé. Wasn’t brought up again.

I wonder if this dude ended up getting invaded. We'll never know.

 

[Komatsu]

My wife only plays two things: The Sims 4 and Animal Crossing. Occasionally I humor her and we play some Mario Party. Can't complain - she's one of the reasons I ended up getting back into gaming after a 7 year hiatus. Bought back all my vintage consoles, restarted my collection. In my experience American women tend to be somewhat more chill about it - my previous relationships, with a Latina (from actual LATAM) and an Asian, would pester me about it which is why I had dropped the hobby in the first place.

 

[DeafTourette]

Probably most of you are already married or at least have some serious relationship in your life. I know the best solution would be having a gamer wife/girlfriend but come on, it happens rarely. How do share your hobby with your woman. How long did it take for her to finally accept it. Or was it even the reason to split up? Share your thoughts!

In my case (I'm almost 34) it was pretty bad. My wife (back then only girlfriend) couldn't believe that someone being 20> can play games. She tried all she could to change me and focus mainly on our relationship and her own friends. At the beginning it was pretty interesting because I could take some time off playing games but after some time I finally realized that I don't feel comfortable in such situation. I've always wanted relationship with someone who would tolerate me fully. I would do the same for her cause I want my better part to fulfill her dreams and to be independant. Luckily, after some time everything ended well and we're happily married since 2012.

Yet, I wouldn't even dare to ask her to play anything

Plenty of women game... Whoever I marry is going to be a gamer/geek... Wish it was one of my two crushes... Both are tall and smart and funny and kind and beautiful and sexy!

 

[mxbison]

You don't need a gamer wife, just someone who lets you enjoy your hobbies like any decent person would....

I'm married for 7 years and play a ton, never been an issue, why would it? Having seperate hobbies is also great for this pandemic situation where you're sitting in the house 24/7.

 

[michaelwilson888]

In our family, we both like to waste time on games and youtube. As well you must have some personal space at least a few hours per weekend. So it's normally when you spend time on video games even being married as it's your hobby. And I don't see any problem with it.

 

[Tuff McNutt]

In our family, we both like to waste time on games and youtube. As well you must have some personal space at least a few hours per weekend. So it's normally when you spend time on video games even being married as it's your hobby. And I don't see any problem with it.

This is my opinion as well. I've been married for 7 years and the therapists we have had (both individual and couples) have said it's good to have different hobbies/interests as your partner and take some "alone time" (or time with your friends) to pursue it. Am I saying to sit in a different room by yourself and game for several hours a day? Or get out of a "date night" so you can level up in CoD with your online friends? Spend $200 on a collector's edition of a game and then give your partner a card for their birthday? Of course not.

But if your partner is so insecure that they wouldn't "give you permission" to game for a reasonable period during the day (if you work) and maybe more on the weekends, that to me indicates co-dependency and/or the kind of bullshit ideas of romance/marriage Hallmark/Lifetime movies promote (the whole "soul mate" bullshit where you want to/should be with your partner 24/7 and do everything together). As long as gaming is not taking up a lot of your time/money, your partner should actually be happy that you have a hobby that will allow them to get their own free time.

A kid is much more of a monkey wrench for gaming time - I do more retro gaming now because it's hard to get an hour or two in for the in depth open world games I like on modern consoles.

 

[Synless]

I’ve been married for 10 years and never has gaming gotten in the way. My wife has zero interest in gaming either, but she knows it’s what I enjoy in my free time. The key is balance. That said, I have a buddy whose wife hates gaming and doesn’t care if he’s only played 10 minutes, she lets him know she hates it.... so it doesn’t work for everyone.

 

[paolo11]

Of course. I still game till now while married and kids

 

[nikolino840]

The biggest problem is to explain your hobby with a recently knew girl,in your firsts dates perhaps

 

[IntentionalPun]

My wife games more than me; I game as much as I want to.

My ex wife didn't game, but I gamed as much as I wanted to.

Stop being poosies.

 

[e&e]

I don’t play as much games as I want, especially after the pandemic. I lost my job last year and got a part time position and wife and I decided since she makes more (then and now), that I should take care of the kids at home and not send them to the daycare with so many restrictions currently plus it saves us a god awful amount of money (seriously though, if you see the amount people pay a year just to work and give that back to daycares makes no sense, and must be a discussion for another topic). I decided to start some projects after being trapped in house during pandemic and hope to make it a primary income. So with those projects to complete and kids to care for (which is more work than I thought it would be; kids are HARD, and there is almost no way to work when they are around), I always feel guilty about playing games instead of continuing my projects, so I play less and less. Whenever I get the need to clear my mind though, I decide to pop in some different games (why Switch and GamePass are godsends for portability and value), I end up playing when the kids and wife are asleep and will lose track of time until it’s almost morning. This is where my wife gets angry because it’s not easy caring for kids when exhausted, it creates a damning cycle. Other times my wife is fine and will get addicted to some game like BOTW and recently use playing through NSMBU to 100% completion! Our next feat is to play SM3DWorld. People wonder why these games sell so much, it’s because A LOT of people missed out on these games during the WiiU years including me so they are completely new to us to enjoy and do it portably too!

 

[buizel]

get a gurl that likes vidya games durh

theres tonnes

 

[rofif]

I am 31 and my wife is 30. We married in 2020 (yay with masks) after 12 years o being together and living for 4 years in our own flat.
We barely if ever argue, she reads, I play games, sometimes we watch movies or go to friends together or something.
We also do not great but ok with money, so I can just get ps5 and no.. I am not asking wife for permissions lol like some of my friends would do (and she would not let them).

The key is to know how to live separately in one space... it means, it should be normal and not uncomfortable to NOT spend every minute together.

Money and kids also matter. We don't have kids and do not plan to... I am not sure if we will regret it when we are old but we do not want annoying kids.
I don't know a single person with kids who is not miserable. They all run away to drink in a car and seem like slaves of their own wifes and kids. If they have a ps4, they keep my damn god of war for 6 months since they play 15 minutes once a week.