Sectorseven
Member
Made a little progress on my social anxiety this week. Sat on a park bench for ten minutes or so, which isn't something I would normally even consider.
A small victory.
A small victory.
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Mental Health |OT2| - Light in the Darkness
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
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Can someone help me sleep? I don't want to rely on ambien(half the time it doesn't help anyway).
I don't know if this is depression now or anxiety acting up since it's always one or the other present, lately I've had some huge disappintments and shit happen to me that is probably influencing sleep problem but I always had it.
Unless I'm super tired and just close my eyes and go to sleep I'll stay in bed for hours. I can't sleep even tho I'm tired and sleepy because my mind starts going places, usually to things that get me mad and I guess adrenalin kicks in and in circle we go. I can't relax, nothing I try makes my mind go slow or not thinking. If it's not making me mad it's probably some anxious shit from past or future or uncomfortable crap that happened so I don't fucking know this is pissing me off for years but now it's gotten super bad.
I missed shitton of stuff because of my fucked up sleep in life (dates, job interviews, exams etc). My sleep constantly pusheses me to stay awake longer and then it leads to being awake whole night and sleeping for most of the day...
I don't know what to do to fix this.
P.s. Someone mentioned above about focuisng on looks over mind health and still having issues with girls, yeah same here. I focus on everything else and tried learning pickup but even with all that shit and some success you really need to get your shit in order if you wanna have success in social field. Sometimes getting in shape is all the guy needs but sometimes the issues are so deep rooted like for me that it's gonna be hard to overcome it. But anyhow I just want to sleep lol
P.p.s. Lately while awake and my mind goes racing and to things that make me angry I started almost like having ticks or twitching, like my arm Leg or body will move suddenly and fast, I mean a lot of it is conscious and can control it but most of the time I dont because the thoughts are so infuriating and I'm afraid it's gonna become involuntary...
I don't know if this is depression now or anxiety acting up since it's always one or the other present, lately I've had some huge disappintments and shit happen to me that is probably influencing sleep problem but I always had it.
Unless I'm super tired and just close my eyes and go to sleep I'll stay in bed for hours. I can't sleep even tho I'm tired and sleepy because my mind starts going places, usually to things that get me mad and I guess adrenalin kicks in and in circle we go. I can't relax, nothing I try makes my mind go slow or not thinking. If it's not making me mad it's probably some anxious shit from past or future or uncomfortable crap that happened so I don't fucking know this is pissing me off for years but now it's gotten super bad.
I missed shitton of stuff because of my fucked up sleep in life (dates, job interviews, exams etc). My sleep constantly pusheses me to stay awake longer and then it leads to being awake whole night and sleeping for most of the day...
I don't know what to do to fix this.
P.s. Someone mentioned above about focuisng on looks over mind health and still having issues with girls, yeah same here. I focus on everything else and tried learning pickup but even with all that shit and some success you really need to get your shit in order if you wanna have success in social field. Sometimes getting in shape is all the guy needs but sometimes the issues are so deep rooted like for me that it's gonna be hard to overcome it. But anyhow I just want to sleep lol
P.p.s. Lately while awake and my mind goes racing and to things that make me angry I started almost like having ticks or twitching, like my arm Leg or body will move suddenly and fast, I mean a lot of it is conscious and can control it but most of the time I dont because the thoughts are so infuriating and I'm afraid it's gonna become involuntary...
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Please go Chewie, I know it sucks.
Teriyaki Blues
Member
https://www.reddit.com/r/insomnia/ - helped me a lot when I was going through similar issues. My sleep is still fucked (I have DSPD), but the coping skills and routines are good to have regardless.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
I know that feeling.
All I want right now, is someone attractive and nice to be with right now.
That's it. It kills me that it seems like I never get to have that.
It makes me miss me my complicated relationship with my dead ex.
The loneliness is killing me... My jealously and anger are building.. What the hell is wrong with me?? My mind is completely scarred and destroyed at this point, I don't know how to be happy anymore
My friend work and her wife have been hanging with my ex and her new man, and I drove me to anger, which is not a normal response, I'm so fucked up. Why can't I just accept things? I'm so glad I'm seeing my counselor tomorrow, because I'm a wreck
My friend work and her wife have been hanging with my ex and her new man, and I drove me to anger, which is not a normal response, I'm so fucked up. Why can't I just accept things? I'm so glad I'm seeing my counselor tomorrow, because I'm a wreck
User 479360
Banned
My grief and lack of energy are killing me. My mind is exhausted.
I will. Thank you. I decided not to cancel, and if I did now I'd have to pay.
I know that feeling. You're not alone.
I will. Thank you. I decided not to cancel, and if I did now I'd have to pay.
I know that feeling. You're not alone.
Secret Fawful
Member
I can barely keep myself from smashing my computer and mouse into a million pieces, I am so angry, fed up, and frustrated at myself. Every day I get more angry. Every day I get more depressed. I want to sleep all the time. I hate myself. I hate everyone around me because they offer me no help. There's no point in going to a therapist or psychologist again because they are full of bullshit and temporary aid and require me to have goals when I can barely even believe in myself enough to go outside. I want goals, and I want to try a therapist, but I'm tired of the same thing. I'm tired of relapsing after therapy ends. I'm tired of fucking up every interaction I have with other human beings. If I could opt for state-assisted suicide I would do it in a heartbeat. I want hope. I want better. Neither exist for me. I'm completely lost.
I'm sorry for such a negative post but I've been sitting on this for a month and I had to get it out.
I'm sorry for such a negative post but I've been sitting on this for a month and I had to get it out.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
I hear you. Same situation.
Lost, frustrated, afraid of just being me.
These past six years have been insane. They flew by but nothing gained. I'm still just an unemployed lib arts major who was sold a myth.
Hell, STEM, people have had the same deal
What do you do when you can't do anything?
Lost, frustrated, afraid of just being me.
These past six years have been insane. They flew by but nothing gained. I'm still just an unemployed lib arts major who was sold a myth.
Hell, STEM, people have had the same deal
What do you do when you can't do anything?
weird how at the start of my depression I couldn't sleep, now I do nothing but sleep
I think my body realized that the easiest way to deal with the pain is just sleeping through it
I don't know if seeing happy couples together makes me "bitter" per se... I more get reminded of happier times and that just bums me out. and happy couples are basically everywhere -_-
I think my body realized that the easiest way to deal with the pain is just sleeping through it
I don't know if seeing happy couples together makes me "bitter" per se... I more get reminded of happier times and that just bums me out. and happy couples are basically everywhere -_-
RoyaleDuke
Banned
I feel angry mostly all the time, existential life stress is a bitch man please hang in there.
Yep. Doesn't matter what I do... I'm constantly reminded that I'm single and lonely in my 30s... Almost everyone I work with has a partner and a family. Nearly all of my friends are married and have kids. What the hell is so wrong with me? Why haven't I got to that point yet? I really don't want to be 40 and single, it's hard enough dating now.
I just want to meet someone awesome, enjoy both our hobbies, travel, and eventually start a family... Am I expecting too much???
Astral Dog
Member
im sorry Blinkin
Thats one fear of mine, that working on physical appareance wont do any miracles.
But you made so much progress by yourself!, there is still time to work on your mental health/depression, and its better this way than having not gone to the gym at all.
Remember to always take care of yourself. and work on being confident too.
User 479360
Banned
Just got home from seeing my psychiatrist for the first time since last winter. It kind of reminded me why I don't go often.
She's not all that much help, and mostly just asks questions then gives me a new prescription. She asked me to up my dose of Prozac to three pills a day, and gave me Lorazapam.
She's not all that much help, and mostly just asks questions then gives me a new prescription. She asked me to up my dose of Prozac to three pills a day, and gave me Lorazapam.
i know how you feel. im there already. In high school i knew i'll end up old and alone the gay old guy at the end of the bar everyone ignores and pities. i wish i had killed myself in high school. i regret everything living this horrible life.
Pamplemousse
Member
Psychiatrists are all like this. They mainly just quickly question you and then give you the "appropriate" meds.
I'd recommend a psychologist if you want someone to talk to you/therapy. I assume you've considered this, though.
Astral Dog
Member
no negative, no need to be sorry you are just expressing yourself, im sorry the psychologists and therapists havent been working for you,, i can only tell you its not always about having goals, but be at peace in this moment, look at your environment and tell what you see and dont like, and what could you do about it. are you living with someone that makes you feel worse? do you lat least enjoy your job? would you like to try a new hobby? go to a small trip?
even trying going to a place were you can relax and be at peace could help.
.
alot of people have trouble finding jobs. A Fish, people easily can get lost after college, but remember, its NOT your fault, tits a flawed system after all, try finding little goals that make yourself happy and motivated, not neccessarily job related.
oh God, i think i would like to be that guy at the bar, might be better than what i am right now, take care Neojubei
User 479360
Banned
Yeah. I just can't budget $150/hour.
When I was in therapy 1-2 years ago or so, I actually kinda liked seeing my psychiatrist more than my psychologist. My psychiatrist was this really nice, pleasant, attractive Asian woman in her 40s, and I almost felt more comfortable talking to her than my goofy-ass looking dude of a therapist. It felt good talking to her. Then I switched insurance companies and couldn't see her anymore. Thanks Obama.
Astral Dog
Member
There must be some place that offers help at economic prices where you live, like a charity or health institution.worth a try dont give up.
Most of the time I buy wipes at Target or something because I can't feel comfortable if I don't have something to sanitize my hands near me at all times. Anyways the other day I went and found a tube only to open it and see brown everywhere. Of course someone probably just like spilled soda or it was something from shipping...
But my brain just couldn't handle it. I have the contamination sort of OCD, and I kept thinking it was poop (I know that's not possible really). I had a panic attack in the middle of Target because I felt like I was dirty, that driving home would make my car dirty, etc. I couldn't handle spending another $20 in cleaning supplies to wipe down half the areas I go to. I already spent a third of my paycheck...
I grabbed a pack of sealed wipes so it wouldn't happen again, only, they turned out to be clorox wipes. So my hands feel like they're burning off now. I'm just so done. Life isn't even enjoyable anymore. All I do is clean and clean and then sleep. I started Prozac the other day, so maybe that'll help a little.
If I can get to a point where I can leave the house without feeling anxious about touching doors I'll be okay at least.
But my brain just couldn't handle it. I have the contamination sort of OCD, and I kept thinking it was poop (I know that's not possible really). I had a panic attack in the middle of Target because I felt like I was dirty, that driving home would make my car dirty, etc. I couldn't handle spending another $20 in cleaning supplies to wipe down half the areas I go to. I already spent a third of my paycheck...
I grabbed a pack of sealed wipes so it wouldn't happen again, only, they turned out to be clorox wipes. So my hands feel like they're burning off now. I'm just so done. Life isn't even enjoyable anymore. All I do is clean and clean and then sleep. I started Prozac the other day, so maybe that'll help a little.
If I can get to a point where I can leave the house without feeling anxious about touching doors I'll be okay at least.
Pamplemousse
Member
God, I'm so fucking miserable. Nothing in my life EVER works out.
I'll also be graduating at 25 because of depression but better graduating late with the best grades you're capable of getting instead of graduating earlier with subpar grades. You've got this!
First time poster here looking for any kind of help or guidance at all. Just feeling really shitty right now.
Life story incoming:
My childhood was the best time of my life. I had friends, I did well in school, etc. I was happy. Then when I was 13, my parents had me change schools because we couldn't afford the same one anymore. I knew nobody. The place was big, scary, and I just shut down. I developed social anxiety and couldn't make any friends. I became an outcast. People thought I was weird, and made fun of me behind my back. This led to depression that I've carried with me through middle school, high school, college, etc. On top of that, I developed insomnia which led to a lack of energy and even more depression alongside other health issues. I'll admit that suicide crept into my mind a few times, but I never would've acted on it. All I've wanted since I was 13 was someone who actually gave a shit about me other than my immediate family because they kind of have to.
I've gotten fed up with my life so many times and tried facing my problems head on. I got a job in customer service through college that forced me to interact with people. I was pretty good at it, and it helped me a lot. I gained some confidence back. After that, I started being more open in class discussions. I started getting along with people. I even managed to hang out with some outside of class a few times, but it was really too late. I earned my degree. School was over. My youth was over. Just when it felt like it was finally starting.
I left high school with no idea what I wanted to do in life. I did well in every class I was in, but nothing made me happy except games. Through those years, gaming was my outlet. Online communities gave me the connection I desired. I made friends online. We played games nightly. The only times I felt remotely happy then was when I had a controller in my hands. I decided to pursue a career in game development. My local community college offered a degree in it so I took it. I could learn to make games at a fraction of the cost of a real degree. Great right? Big mistake. I didn't think ahead. There are no studios here. I'd have to move to get a job. Then a miracle happened. I got a job offer. It was freelance work with extremely low pay, but it was something to build on. I took it. It started off great, but then something else got in the way. I met a girl. She was all I could think about. Finally, someone who gave a shit about me. The thing I really truly wanted in life for so long now. I thought life was finally turning around for me. I had my foot in the door of an industry I loved and someone by my side. Then, she stopped talking to me, my work took a nose dive because of it, and now I am at an all-time low in my life. I lack any motivation to do anything right now, and just want to sleep all day.
Soon I will be an unemployed college grad with a useless degree, living at home with his parents, has no friends, no girlfriend, and just ruined what may have been his only chance at something better. All I want to do is hit the reset button on the last 10 years of my life and redo it. So now I have a decision to make. I could go back to school and pursue another degree taking on more student debt, move somewhere with better hopes of landing a job, or give up and get a job at Starbucks for the rest of my life.
Sorry for the long post. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read it.
Life story incoming:
My childhood was the best time of my life. I had friends, I did well in school, etc. I was happy. Then when I was 13, my parents had me change schools because we couldn't afford the same one anymore. I knew nobody. The place was big, scary, and I just shut down. I developed social anxiety and couldn't make any friends. I became an outcast. People thought I was weird, and made fun of me behind my back. This led to depression that I've carried with me through middle school, high school, college, etc. On top of that, I developed insomnia which led to a lack of energy and even more depression alongside other health issues. I'll admit that suicide crept into my mind a few times, but I never would've acted on it. All I've wanted since I was 13 was someone who actually gave a shit about me other than my immediate family because they kind of have to.
I've gotten fed up with my life so many times and tried facing my problems head on. I got a job in customer service through college that forced me to interact with people. I was pretty good at it, and it helped me a lot. I gained some confidence back. After that, I started being more open in class discussions. I started getting along with people. I even managed to hang out with some outside of class a few times, but it was really too late. I earned my degree. School was over. My youth was over. Just when it felt like it was finally starting.
I left high school with no idea what I wanted to do in life. I did well in every class I was in, but nothing made me happy except games. Through those years, gaming was my outlet. Online communities gave me the connection I desired. I made friends online. We played games nightly. The only times I felt remotely happy then was when I had a controller in my hands. I decided to pursue a career in game development. My local community college offered a degree in it so I took it. I could learn to make games at a fraction of the cost of a real degree. Great right? Big mistake. I didn't think ahead. There are no studios here. I'd have to move to get a job. Then a miracle happened. I got a job offer. It was freelance work with extremely low pay, but it was something to build on. I took it. It started off great, but then something else got in the way. I met a girl. She was all I could think about. Finally, someone who gave a shit about me. The thing I really truly wanted in life for so long now. I thought life was finally turning around for me. I had my foot in the door of an industry I loved and someone by my side. Then, she stopped talking to me, my work took a nose dive because of it, and now I am at an all-time low in my life. I lack any motivation to do anything right now, and just want to sleep all day.
Soon I will be an unemployed college grad with a useless degree, living at home with his parents, has no friends, no girlfriend, and just ruined what may have been his only chance at something better. All I want to do is hit the reset button on the last 10 years of my life and redo it. So now I have a decision to make. I could go back to school and pursue another degree taking on more student debt, move somewhere with better hopes of landing a job, or give up and get a job at Starbucks for the rest of my life.
Sorry for the long post. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read it.
Damn, this page is pretty rough to read. A lot of it is very relatable, wish I could give each of you a hug.
I recently took advantage of one of my periodic but very brief high moods to start working out and eating a bit better. Over the last fortnight, I can definitely tell it's had at least some positive impact, for starters I can't immediately recall any suicidal fantasies since then. I did feel some existential dread creeping up on me earlier today so hopefully that doesn't take over again, this has happened in the past and I've eventually abandoned it so I'm going to try my hardest to maintain the routine this time.
It's not like everything is falling into place, the circumstances of my life at the moment are still pretty dour, but hopefully I can ingrain some sense of discipline and motivation through this that will help me improve those other areas.
I totally get the comments about feeling bitterness (this isn't exactly how I'd describe it but I can't quite place what word I should be using in its place) towards couples. It gives me an overwhelming sense of things passing me by. I'm just thankful I have the self-awareness to know that this feeling, while totally understandable and valid, isn't helpful and shouldn't impact how I treat others.
I recently took advantage of one of my periodic but very brief high moods to start working out and eating a bit better. Over the last fortnight, I can definitely tell it's had at least some positive impact, for starters I can't immediately recall any suicidal fantasies since then. I did feel some existential dread creeping up on me earlier today so hopefully that doesn't take over again, this has happened in the past and I've eventually abandoned it so I'm going to try my hardest to maintain the routine this time.
It's not like everything is falling into place, the circumstances of my life at the moment are still pretty dour, but hopefully I can ingrain some sense of discipline and motivation through this that will help me improve those other areas.
I totally get the comments about feeling bitterness (this isn't exactly how I'd describe it but I can't quite place what word I should be using in its place) towards couples. It gives me an overwhelming sense of things passing me by. I'm just thankful I have the self-awareness to know that this feeling, while totally understandable and valid, isn't helpful and shouldn't impact how I treat others.
Still hurts though.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I seem to be sad all the time lately. I'm so sad my gym habits have slumped. Anxiety is higher and feel even more distant from people.
2016 has been a bad year. I don't remember 2015 being great either.
2016 has been a bad year. I don't remember 2015 being great either.
My biggest issue is not being able to focus on one thing, It kills me actually I get off of work and I should relax but I start watching a movie or playing a game and I can't, I sit there and think what could I do that makes me better or more productive. It's hard some days the worse is my days off. I get excited thinking about it but when it comes I do nothing and I feel like I wasted a day. I can't stop feeling this way all the time.
So last month I decided I needed to get out of my sisters home. I've been living with her since 2009 after my mother died of pancreas cancer.I was there until 2014 and then in 2016 I came back finished a summer semester of college and decided I was tired of her own issues and with how she dealt with them. an example of it can be her warning her friends to not be rude of my black girlfriend (I'm white) but I won't go into depth on that.
When I left the house, my girlfriend spent about 600 dollars on motels, food and anything imaginable to help me. I feel I owe her so much. After being homeless for a week so many people in my life have gone through such great lengths to help me out so much. I use to go to job corps and behind the scenes the staff have done so much to help me. They even want me to write a "success" story to the department of labor. Another one of the staff went great lengths just to get me a job at Walmart. I've been so great-full and lucky to get into a room and board where I can live for free and get three meals a day. They are even going to work with me and let me save up money for whenever I can transition out.
In the last week or so one roommate has decided he's going to do meth. The house manager kicked him out and let him back in because he couldn't find a place and I heard her wanting to move him into my room... great. The Walmart job hasn't called me back despite me calling them and telling them I didn't get a call in the first place.
I have had a sense of hopeless just overcome me in the last five days. I've never felt so bad. I feel like I have so much to live up to and o feel like I'm just going to have a shitty job where I can't maintain myself in college as well seeing as the cheapest place I can find is like 700 bucks a month. I feel like I'm running out of options and my head hurts to much. I'm so scared of making the wrong moves. I'm great full for everything but I just don't know what to do anymore.
When I left the house, my girlfriend spent about 600 dollars on motels, food and anything imaginable to help me. I feel I owe her so much. After being homeless for a week so many people in my life have gone through such great lengths to help me out so much. I use to go to job corps and behind the scenes the staff have done so much to help me. They even want me to write a "success" story to the department of labor. Another one of the staff went great lengths just to get me a job at Walmart. I've been so great-full and lucky to get into a room and board where I can live for free and get three meals a day. They are even going to work with me and let me save up money for whenever I can transition out.
In the last week or so one roommate has decided he's going to do meth. The house manager kicked him out and let him back in because he couldn't find a place and I heard her wanting to move him into my room... great. The Walmart job hasn't called me back despite me calling them and telling them I didn't get a call in the first place.
I have had a sense of hopeless just overcome me in the last five days. I've never felt so bad. I feel like I have so much to live up to and o feel like I'm just going to have a shitty job where I can't maintain myself in college as well seeing as the cheapest place I can find is like 700 bucks a month. I feel like I'm running out of options and my head hurts to much. I'm so scared of making the wrong moves. I'm great full for everything but I just don't know what to do anymore.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
So my mom won 20 bucks and spent it on her "friend" which is part of the family that has owed us so much money and disrespected me so much and they were just apologists for 6 goddamn years for everything.
They went and hung out and then she won that 20 and spent it at the movies with this repulsive human being.
I almost slit my throat tonight and spent 2 hours on the support hotline.
My mother and I got into the mother of all arguments and all she did was defend what she did.
I'm so fucking tired guys I just wanna die.
They went and hung out and then she won that 20 and spent it at the movies with this repulsive human being.
I almost slit my throat tonight and spent 2 hours on the support hotline.
My mother and I got into the mother of all arguments and all she did was defend what she did.
I'm so fucking tired guys I just wanna die.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
You know you've hit a new low when either never leaving your house again or killing yourself seem like the best two options.
Booker Dewitt
Member
Starting to settle into the routine of twelve hour work days and five hour commutes. Cut down my drinking from every night to one or two times a week. Could potentially start saving up for a car this month, and pretty much get promoted to manager at one job when I get my own ride. Starting to look a ways to start a career in a field I'm actually interested in.
After a year of shit, bad news and two steps back caused by either internal actions or uncontrollable external ones, I'm living by Titus Andronicus' The Monitor's credo. That I'll only fail by suicide, and that that particular white flag will never be taken out of my pocket. But man I wish a car could just hit me while crossing the street.
After a year of shit, bad news and two steps back caused by either internal actions or uncontrollable external ones, I'm living by Titus Andronicus' The Monitor's credo. That I'll only fail by suicide, and that that particular white flag will never be taken out of my pocket. But man I wish a car could just hit me while crossing the street.
SeriousApes
Member
.
Reading the thread over at least this last page many posts about loneliness. Myself having until this past year being shut off from society and hardly ever leaving the house due to my depression and anxiety that turned into me being a hermit for a good 6 years. I kept the thoughts of crushing loneliness at bay for so long. Besides wanting to not have to be reliant on others and being a self sufficient person a big factor that pushed me to get help was so I wouldn't be alone forever. Said loneliness isn't just about finding "someone" either I will just be happy to have regular friends for once. For awhile I was pretty angry about being lonely with thoughts like "Why can't I ever get anyone?! What makes these other people able to be happy together? It's not fair I deserve that!". One day of actually looking inward I realized that line of thinking was just toxic I wasn't owed a relationship with anyone. I have to actively work on building them be it just friendly relationships or romantic. It's really helped drive me to try and not be so reclusive and be more outgoing.
That's just how I feel and have dealt so far with my loneliness and I know that the others in this thread and their loneliness probably aren't totally the same as mine. Just hang in there and strive for something better it will come eventually.
That's just how I feel and have dealt so far with my loneliness and I know that the others in this thread and their loneliness probably aren't totally the same as mine. Just hang in there and strive for something better it will come eventually.
Pamplemousse
Member
That's how I feel. I know it drives my immediate family crazy. They want me to be close to them and tell them what's going on with me, but I won't because it would only cause them pain. I remain aloof to spare them the pain.
A few weeks ago I finally went to my first appointment with a psychiatrist after holding off on it for so long and after convincing my dad that I felt I really needed to see one. It was really quite an experience to be able to see what was wrong with me after all these years of emotional torment. Turns out I really did have a ton of shit going on in my head.
After my first appointment I was immediately diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and ADHD. There was one more diagonsis on me, but I actually forgot what it was soon after I left the psych's office and forgot to write it down as well. Ah well, I'll have to remember to ask at my next appointment in a few weeks.
Anyway, I'm glad I could finally get official answers to what I've been dealing with and it explains so much now. I just wish I could've been able to get this done years ago when I was still in school. Maybe if I was put on my current meds back then I would've been fine and never gotten to the point of dropping out in the ninth grade.
Though I finally got some answers, I still feel like I don't know everything. Is it normal to not get everything diagnosed on the first day and eventually find out more about your mental health and potentially more diagnosis on following appointments?
After my first appointment I was immediately diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and ADHD. There was one more diagonsis on me, but I actually forgot what it was soon after I left the psych's office and forgot to write it down as well. Ah well, I'll have to remember to ask at my next appointment in a few weeks.
Anyway, I'm glad I could finally get official answers to what I've been dealing with and it explains so much now. I just wish I could've been able to get this done years ago when I was still in school. Maybe if I was put on my current meds back then I would've been fine and never gotten to the point of dropping out in the ninth grade.
Though I finally got some answers, I still feel like I don't know everything. Is it normal to not get everything diagnosed on the first day and eventually find out more about your mental health and potentially more diagnosis on following appointments?
tearsofash
Member
No you don't. Trust me. It just makes things worse.
I understand the feeling but it's counter intuitive really. You'd just make things worse and add one more thing that you'll hate yourself for. Being addicted to booze or drugs would just distract you from trying to strive to better yourself at least that's how I view it.
Pamplemousse
Member
Being lonely is tough. We're here for you, though. Maybe you'll meet someone special soon.
User 479360
Banned
It's a holiday weekend, but I haven't heard anything from my longtime friends because they have their own lives and/or think that I just make up excuses to avoid hanging out with them. And that I'm weird/boring now.
It's deserved, I guess.
My family went up to our trailer, and I was going to go, but I took on a project and figured I'd need to stay home to finish it. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go anyways. Half of me did, but half realized I'd be bored and that I'd be especially bored when everyone fell asleep early and I was up all night unable to sleep. At least I have the Internet and colouring here. Plus TV.
I'm just sick of being tired and lonely all the time. I miss my Mom, and I can't stop sleeping most days.
Me too
It's deserved, I guess.
My family went up to our trailer, and I was going to go, but I took on a project and figured I'd need to stay home to finish it. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go anyways. Half of me did, but half realized I'd be bored and that I'd be especially bored when everyone fell asleep early and I was up all night unable to sleep. At least I have the Internet and colouring here. Plus TV.
I'm just sick of being tired and lonely all the time. I miss my Mom, and I can't stop sleeping most days.
Me too
NCR Redslayer
NeoGAF's Vegeta
Dont drink or smoke. It brings worse problems. I think im drunk and kinda losing it.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
Looking at what my old friends from high school are doing now was a terrible decision. All of them look like functioning adults with relationships and I'm here unemployed and alone. Finding out that a girl I'm still kind of into is now married and looking happy is killing me right now.
Never had a girlfriend, never had a job, always trying to be the funny man because there isn't fucking anything else about me worth liking. Key word is trying because I believe I try too hard and end up becoming unfunny. Lately (a few years now) I have been trying to become more intelligent and "cultured" by reading, listening to music, and watching movies, hoping that will make me more attractive, because there is nothing else attractive about me. That girl's husband I fucking hate right and I shouldn't because she seems like she is really in love with him, and she was someone who had issues in high school with wanting to cut herself. Seeing her smiling and happy I find both comforting and depressing. Pisses me off that I could find something like that depressing.
I remember when I first saw her and thinking how beautiful she was. Still is as a matter of fact. She sometimes got shit from the other girls in class for being weird and wearing too much make-up but I always defended her like the dumb fucking white knight I am. I appreciated the compliment she gave me one time, since I rarely ever get them, with her telling me "You're not as bad as everyone says you are" when I was giving her relationship advice. That quote sticks with me even more now with the all time high self-loathing I have right now. I remember us walking together after she saidand my friends teasing me because they assumed we decided to date each other. That happened 5 years ago and I still remember that shit fondly. I had this dumb fucking fantasy that I would come back to that city, come across her by chance, and impress her with my somewhat better personality (I was actually even worse than I am now surprisingly, a real MRA asshole) and "save" her from her depression by being the awesome cool guy I so desperately want to be. What a shitty fucking thing to hope for.
Ranty as hell and probably incoherent, but I really needed to get this off my chest because I've been holding this shit in for 5 years and I reached the breaking point seeing that she got married. Honestly don't even care this is on here for the Internet to see and judge because this sounds like some whiny ass bitch shit but whatever.
Never had a girlfriend, never had a job, always trying to be the funny man because there isn't fucking anything else about me worth liking. Key word is trying because I believe I try too hard and end up becoming unfunny. Lately (a few years now) I have been trying to become more intelligent and "cultured" by reading, listening to music, and watching movies, hoping that will make me more attractive, because there is nothing else attractive about me. That girl's husband I fucking hate right and I shouldn't because she seems like she is really in love with him, and she was someone who had issues in high school with wanting to cut herself. Seeing her smiling and happy I find both comforting and depressing. Pisses me off that I could find something like that depressing.
I remember when I first saw her and thinking how beautiful she was. Still is as a matter of fact. She sometimes got shit from the other girls in class for being weird and wearing too much make-up but I always defended her like the dumb fucking white knight I am. I appreciated the compliment she gave me one time, since I rarely ever get them, with her telling me "You're not as bad as everyone says you are" when I was giving her relationship advice. That quote sticks with me even more now with the all time high self-loathing I have right now. I remember us walking together after she saidand my friends teasing me because they assumed we decided to date each other. That happened 5 years ago and I still remember that shit fondly. I had this dumb fucking fantasy that I would come back to that city, come across her by chance, and impress her with my somewhat better personality (I was actually even worse than I am now surprisingly, a real MRA asshole) and "save" her from her depression by being the awesome cool guy I so desperately want to be. What a shitty fucking thing to hope for.
Ranty as hell and probably incoherent, but I really needed to get this off my chest because I've been holding this shit in for 5 years and I reached the breaking point seeing that she got married. Honestly don't even care this is on here for the Internet to see and judge because this sounds like some whiny ass bitch shit but whatever.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
My mom and I said a bunch of horrible shit to each other and I ended up snapping and slapping her in the face.
I just couldn't take her saying that I didn't sacrifice anything for this family.
That she owed me nothing.
That she couldn't understand the why of why I was so angry.
I've never snapped and hit anyone I've cared about before, and now I just feel like a piece of shit.
I just couldn't take her saying that I didn't sacrifice anything for this family.
That she owed me nothing.
That she couldn't understand the why of why I was so angry.
I've never snapped and hit anyone I've cared about before, and now I just feel like a piece of shit.
- Status