No, I would not.
Really.
We've got a damn good marriage that's been going for over 25 years, and if (I don't think it is at all likely) part of what sustains that is extra-curricular activities by the missus, then I really don't want to know, thankyou very much. Leave me to my pleasant delusion that it is all down to me being a devoted husband and don't fucking tell me otherwise.
If some stranger called me and said something like that it would quite probably ruin a perfectly sustainable relationship.
So, you see, it really isn't as straightforward as it sounds.
This is the arrogance I'm talking about. I'm not discounting the notion that relationships should be open only by mutual consent, but declaring that their marriage cannot be good if it does not live up to your standards is absolutely ridiculous.This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.
If your wife was cheating on you you can't really say that you have "a damn good marriage"
I guess for some it's just easier (but crazy) to stick your head in the sand.
No, I would not.
Really.
We've got a damn good marriage that's been going for over 25 years, and if (I don't think it is at all likely) part of what sustains that is extra-curricular activities by the missus, then I really don't want to know, thankyou very much. Leave me to my pleasant delusion that it is all down to me being a devoted husband and don't fucking tell me otherwise.
If some stranger called me and said something like that it would quite probably ruin a perfectly sustainable relationship.
So, you see, it really isn't as straightforward as it sounds.
This is one of the silliest things I've read in quite a while. I'm guessing you're okay with cheating with your wife, if it sustains your relationship.
If the wife wants to fuck another man or vice-versa then maybe they should sit down and talk, and see what can be done. Some women and men are okay with their partner being a swinger, and some are not. If they're not okay with swinging then you're going to accept that and if you think you need to cheat on your wife in secrecy to sustain the marriage, that's pretty fucked up, since the relationship would basically be a lie. If that's your choice then I you have the free will do think like this but I don't see how lying and cheating is a sustainable marriage. What if she sleeps with someone with an STD for example? or falls in love with that fuck buddy? so many wrong thins could come out of it
This is one of the silliest things I've read in quite a while. I'm guessing you're okay with cheating with your wife, if it sustains your relationship.
If the wife wants to fuck another man or vice-versa then maybe they should sit down and talk, and see what can be done. Some women and men are okay with their partner being a swinger, and some are not. If they're not okay with swinging then you're going to accept that and if you think you need to cheat on your wife in secrecy to sustain the marriage, that's pretty fucked up, since the relationship would basically be a lie. If that's your choice then I you have the free will do think like this but I don't see how lying and cheating is a sustainable marriage. What if she sleeps with someone with an STD for example? or falls in love with that fuck buddy? so many wrong thins could come out of it
I would want to know, yes. But I wouldnt be mad at a stranger for not telling me. Because they are a freaking stranger. Why should they?
Just took a quick peek at this dude's post history...
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=36128897&postcount=12394
Nice compliment to this thread
You didn't, I just thought it was ironic.Just saw this. I was drunk and joking around. Spent all day with the girl. I apologize if I somehow hurt your feelings.
This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.
If your wife was cheating on you you can't really say that you have "a damn good marriage"
This is one of the silliest things I've read in quite a while. I'm guessing you're okay with cheating with your wife, if it sustains your relationship.
It just isn't that black and white. As someone who has been put into that situation, it just isn't that black and white.
This is the arrogance I'm talking about. I'm not discounting the notion that relationships should be open only by mutual consent, but declaring that their marriage cannot be good if it does not live up to your standards is absolutely ridiculous.
It isn't all that crazy or silly. We've been married a long time, and no I'm not OK with cheating on my wife. But neither do I want or need to know if she's been cheating on me.
I get the impression some of you people just haven't been married long enough. Ah, the idealism of youth.
Spot on.
Devo plays Blanka and Dhalsim. Sorry to break it to you.
Agreed. I don't get the whole 'if someone cheated once the relationship is irrevocably bad, no matter what' vibe a lot of the posts in here have.
One or two mistakes over a decades long relationship seems rather inconsequential. It certainly wouldn't be a deal breaker to me.
I wouldn't call cheating a "mistake". Cheating is a relationship ender as far as I'm concerned.
I wouldn't call cheating a "mistake". Cheating is a relationship ender as far as I'm concerned.
If any future girlfriend of mine played Blanka, then the relationship would be over.
Momochi has the patience of a saint.
It's more like a group is happily playing monopoly and you walk by and see someone is cheating, do you tell the group?
Momochi has the patience of a saint.
This is even worse than if you played Blanka >:0
godnorazi
Banned
(Today, 01:34 AM)
It's more like a group is happily playing monopoly and you walk by and see someone is cheating, do you tell the group?
I wouldn't call cheating a "mistake". Cheating is a relationship ender as far as I'm concerned.
This is Gaf dude, there is no grey area... never!It just isn't that black and white. As someone who has been put into that situation, it just isn't that black and white.
So, religious people are hypocrites? Was that the moral of the story?
This is the arrogance I'm talking about. I'm not discounting the notion that relationships should be open only by mutual consent, but declaring that their marriage cannot be good if it does not live up to your standards is absolutely ridiculous.
What the fuck do I do about this? I'm pretty sure my parents don't know about this or otherwise have no reason to think anything weird is going on. Do I talk to them about it? Maybe? Do I confront my cousin about it? Probably not? Do I just not do anything about it? Well...
I really don't know this guy that well but this is a really weird thing that I've found out about him in the short time I've been acquainted with him. I can't believe that he even told me about this other woman he met! I mean if he is not cheating, what the fuck does he expect me to think by telling me this? So confusing.
Cliffs: My married cousin who is visiting from out of town for a conference told me about another woman he's met while in town. My parents don't know about it and I don't know what the fuck to do about it, if anything at all. Help pls.
how the hell did the Third Reich enter this thread? lmao.
You are missing the point if that's what you got out of it. Religious people are as fallible as anyone else but it is when you decide to be preachy and judgmental about it (i.e. my cousin being critical of America's supposed lack of values by accepting gays and transgendered people) that when you inevitably make a mistake that you are made to look like a hypocrite. He could have just as easily not made his values an issue by not bringing it up at all.
Anyway, to update the thread, my cousin leaves tomorrow morning and all cockblock attempts were successful. I'll talk to my parents about it tomorrow evening. I have a feeling their insight will help me understand this situation a lot better.
Do not do that, spare yourself the trouble. Also, about religious people - if you are in organized religious community and you do not dislike gays you are doing it wrong.
Is your life really so bland you are this excited by a cousin you never met (or know existed) cheating on his wife who you have never met. Really, I dont see how once he leaves you will not immediately forget about him. Or at least I would.
His wife and three kids.
My cousin who lives in South Africa is in town visiting my family this week. I just met this guy for the first time this week and he seemed like an okay guy. He is in town to go to a conference and my parents have enjoyed reminiscing with him about our relatives. He is quite a bit older than me so I haven't spent too much time with him because I just don't feel we have that much in common (with him being married and all).
So fast forward to this past Thursday when he decided to "skip" his conference. Okay a little unplanned but whatever, he wanted to go shopping for things for his family which I didn't mind helping him out with. I'm taking him around town to various stores and this is the first quality one on one time I've really spent with him so we talk about all kinds of different subjects. One thing that came up was how American culture was "weird" and how it was able to corrupt people with the examples he gave being gay and transgendered people. Uh huh. Red flag number one. He went on how religion and morals were very important and how he wanted his children to go to religious schools so they would be taught right from wrong. Alright. I'm okay with you wanting to be religious and raise your kids that way, I really have no right to tell him different but it was still a weird thing for him to talk to me about. Keep in mind that before this week I didn't even know he existed. Another thing that he casually brought up was how "huge" his wife was. He wanted to buy her a bathing suit and jokingly said she'd need an XXXXXXXL. Hilarious. Red flag number two.
It was all in all an interesting but uneventful day until that evening after dinner when my mom asks me, "so are you taking your cousin out tonight?" Huh? Out where? I had no clue what she was talking about. Then my cousin comes up to me and says yeah, B!TCH is taking me out tonight. I interject, no, I'm really tired and I don't want to go out tonight plus I had no fucking idea you had made plans that included me because you didn't fucking tell me! He gets a little agitated and insists that I go out that night. I try and reason, look man, if you really want to go out, we'll go out on the weekend, I'm dead fucking tired and just don't have it in me to go out tonight (true, I was exhausted). He gets in close to me and says, take me out tonight, you have to do this for me. Huh? No I don't, and what the fuck is the big deal? Finally my mom breaks in and says that she and my dad will take him out if he really wants to go out. My cousin seems annoyed but he relents and goes out with my mom and dad. Weird. Red flag number 3.
Last night was when his strange behavior became clear to me. We had all gone out to dinner and on the way home he elected to drive home with me in my car instead of in my parents car. He didn't waste any time getting to the point and straight up told me that the reason why he wanted me to take him out that night was because he had met a woman at his conference who had invited him out that night. Wait a minute, what? He sounded like a teenaged school boy the way he went on about how he really wanted to see this woman and how she was really angry that he couldn't make it (she apparently, really wants him... because he's such a stud). He didn't want to meet her with my parents. Oh. Now I get it you asshole.
I don't have 100% proof (it's closer to 99% sure in my mind) and I didn't catch him red handed, but given his behavior, the things he's told me and the fact that he wanted to keep this other woman a secret from my parents strongly suggests to me that this guy is either cheating on his wife or intends to cheat on his wife while he is on this trip. He travels a lot for work so I can only assume what he might have done in the past, but given everything else, I can't help but think that he's probably already cheated on his wife. The only additional thing that we talked about that seemed kind of odd was when we spoke about the ages of his children. I think he is in his mid-late 30's and he already has three kids with the oldest being in her early teens and it seemed like he had some sense of, I'm not sure what to call it, regret? Some hesitation about talking about the subject of his children when I made an offhand comment about how he had children relatively young - I wasn't even trying to be insensitive or anything and it just slipped out without me really thinking about it because I was unsure exactly how old he is. I don't know if this is some arrangement with his wife or what (why would he tell me about it, unless he has total confidence I wouldn't mention it to anyone else... hello GAF) but it seems pretty scummy either way. It also blows my mind that he would even consider seeing another woman outside of his marriage given all that nonsense about how religion/moral were important and whatnot. I really want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt but I just think that if my dad had behaved the exact same way and told me about some other woman he wanted to meet that he wanted to keep a secret from my mom I'd be really angry at him. I wish I made this shit up and just imagined the whole thing but my scummy cousin really exists and he really told me all this.
If you read all that, I do appreciate it and here's the real meat of this post,
What the fuck do I do about this? I'm pretty sure my parents don't know about this or otherwise have no reason to think anything weird is going on. Do I talk to them about it? Maybe? Do I confront my cousin about it? Probably not? Do I just not do anything about it? Well...
I really don't know this guy that well but this is a really weird thing that I've found out about him in the short time I've been acquainted with him. I can't believe that he even told me about this other woman he met! I mean if he is not cheating, what the fuck does he expect me to think by telling me this? So confusing.
Cliffs: My married cousin who is visiting from out of town for a conference told me about another woman he's met while in town. My parents don't know about it and I don't know what the fuck to do about it, if anything at all. Help pls.